Friday, May 28, 2010
mr president: macgyver and keifer sutherland are standing by for a conference call!!!!
we believe we can stop the oil spill in the gulf of mexico -- after all, it has been over a month now........... macgyver ?
Friday, May 21, 2010
my ideal movie: CUNT-TIME...
revisiting my ideal movie -- working project name: CUNT-TIME
revisiting my ideal movie scenario: (see 2 postings ago)
val kilmer would have mr. t as his sidekick and they would be dressed like the 2 fighters from the popular 80s arcade game double dragon -- also they would have special effects moves:
tom cruise (looking around to see only adam sandler): where r we?
val kilmer approaches out of nowhere from the darkness:
you're in an alvarez movie and the script calls for you and sandler to travel back in
time to queen victoria's england and then shrink down to nano-size like in the movie inner-space and travel around queen victoria's vagina in a mini-micro-bot .... the resulting experience will be so fearful that the two of you will turn into sissies and start butt-fucking eachother..........
angela merkel approaches kilmer with a butcher's knife and the scream of a valkyrie -- kilmer jumps into the air and does some computer assisted special effects and kicks her head off into the distance -- blood gushes from her throat and kilmer does some more deft kicks to her body until it finally crumples into a heap
mr t says: i pity da fool and kilmer and mr t high 5
cruise: what's sandler doing here?
kilmer: good question, despite being america's darling as a virtual rabbi and movie star in one, the 2 dimensional sandler will provide great comic relief
cruise: this will be a great chance to put the rumors to bed for me -- people are so jealous of me and all my money - they say i'm gay
kilmer: you're a real actor -- not like sandler who always does the same stupid shit: act retarded, punch some people in the face, act popular, never cry and never cheat on his girlfriend or act like an arsehole -- an everyman's man
cruise: popular with baby-killers and scum everywhere -- not like me -- i can cry on demand -- i'm a REAL actor
kilmer: know that Alvarez is not fooled -- he understands your psyche -- he knows that scientology for you and Travolta is just a way of dealing with the
surreal-ialities of the conditions of your fame and fortune
also note that the script calls for more butt-fucking apart from the cruise/sandler butt-fuck-coupling ..... cia agents, in the 21st century, while the two of you are de-activating queen victoria's vagina from within in the 19th century, will be butt-fucking eachother while the biggest terrorist attack in history goes down: much bigger than 9/11
mr t: i pity da fools! (and does a reverse roundhouse knocking out a german that comes along saying: deutschlander -- ich bin deutschlander
Thursday, May 20, 2010
my ideal movie (continued)
all the hipsters from Hollywood and NYC and the rest of the world would be crawling around on their hands and knees pooping and eating their own and everyone else's shit -- all over Europe and Asia and everywhere-- people would spend a solid ONE HOUR EVERYDAY walking around on their hands and knees shitting and eating shit ---- this practice -- would in turn -- lead to the people spending their other 23 hours per day -- in a state of recoil or shock about their behavior -- sociologists -- philosophers -- everydaymen -- politicians -- warriors -- EVERYBODY would wonder why fight, why kill animals, why be greedy and deprive others, why act thoughtlessly of consequences, why be a slut-pig, why be an alcoholic, 1 hour of shitting and shit-eating and crawling around on one's hands and knees and shitting while walking near a beach into one's own hand and eating it............. this would really knock some sense into humanity and make it think differently...... try eating some of your own shit today -- you'll soon see what i mean!
what a real movie would look like....
if such a thing existed in this post 9/11 brave new climate change world as a 'real' movie (it doesn't)........
this is what the real movie would look like: first of all, adam sandler and tom cruise would be gay lovers in the movie -- in a relationship with eachother where they buttfuck and do real gay shit to eachother like that .......... cows would get fucked in it too -- people wouldn't need to actually watch that happen in a lot of detail but you would know it was going on ---- also, helicopters are dope as shit in all movies -- val kilmer would be dressed as a commando and carry around a pair of num-chuks and an AK and do round-house kicks all over people and then morph back into a street-fighter arcade game late at night...........
people would hunker down in a mess hall -- and literally eat shit........... other characters would nonchalantly walk around a beachside chic area like Santa Monica in LA or Bondi in Sydney or wherever in the French Riviera and slow down in their beachside Reebok pump walks to nonchalantly poop into their own hands and then eat their own shit --- THAT is entertainment
there would be a shitload of afro-americans doing back-flips on the spot and JJ from Good Times would be saying DYNOMITE a shitload of times...........
the Queen of England would get butt-fucked chronically by Fat Albert from the cartoon and she would love it...........
to be continued
this is what the real movie would look like: first of all, adam sandler and tom cruise would be gay lovers in the movie -- in a relationship with eachother where they buttfuck and do real gay shit to eachother like that .......... cows would get fucked in it too -- people wouldn't need to actually watch that happen in a lot of detail but you would know it was going on ---- also, helicopters are dope as shit in all movies -- val kilmer would be dressed as a commando and carry around a pair of num-chuks and an AK and do round-house kicks all over people and then morph back into a street-fighter arcade game late at night...........
people would hunker down in a mess hall -- and literally eat shit........... other characters would nonchalantly walk around a beachside chic area like Santa Monica in LA or Bondi in Sydney or wherever in the French Riviera and slow down in their beachside Reebok pump walks to nonchalantly poop into their own hands and then eat their own shit --- THAT is entertainment
there would be a shitload of afro-americans doing back-flips on the spot and JJ from Good Times would be saying DYNOMITE a shitload of times...........
the Queen of England would get butt-fucked chronically by Fat Albert from the cartoon and she would love it...........
to be continued
Sunday, May 16, 2010
psychic concepts considered scattered by the pleb
have long took solid root with army and intelligence agencies amongst the americans and also amongst the russians during the peak of soviet times.....
of course the same was always the case with the so-called mystery schools too and very possible with the catholic church and other groups....
but what no-one has studied, as yet, is the ability for the human mind to overcome electronic signals on circuit boards to manipulate computers/ computer programs/ internet connections and generally all things digital.....
with regard to knowledge, psychic or botanical -- or whatever -- it's generally understood that no-one can know everything.... humans currently are caught in a trap and a quagmire of their own making --- but what is there to say that life well more advanced on other planets is not capable to travelling faster than the speed of light -- not only psychically but also physically, as it were....
of course the same was always the case with the so-called mystery schools too and very possible with the catholic church and other groups....
but what no-one has studied, as yet, is the ability for the human mind to overcome electronic signals on circuit boards to manipulate computers/ computer programs/ internet connections and generally all things digital.....
with regard to knowledge, psychic or botanical -- or whatever -- it's generally understood that no-one can know everything.... humans currently are caught in a trap and a quagmire of their own making --- but what is there to say that life well more advanced on other planets is not capable to travelling faster than the speed of light -- not only psychically but also physically, as it were....
how MSNBC chooses it's low end anchors
crack whores in LA jerk them off - the ones that hold onto their load of cum the longest get the JOB
cnn has become a perpetual moan or whimper (not even a 'cry') for help
that much would be pretty darn obvious to anyone that had a basic understanding that we are entering an age where the moron while triumph......... where, for the sake of PLOOPSY, Truth, Beauty, Health, Vigor, Love, Light and Happiness are overcrowded and outmanouvered by the endless, bottomless pitt, neverending ABYSS of DESIRE TO EAT SHIT....... well might generations tens of thousands of years from now refer to this flash, this blink, this milisecond of a ten-millenia period that we are embarking on as the time of the turd-eaters............
however such is not obvious to most people --- nevertheless, if you are incapable of watching CNN and not seeing a constant whimper, a murmur, a half-hearted, timid whimpering for help (like a patient in a hospital covered in bandages and plaster of Paris) ........ the the Atlanta-based CNN so willingly entered the quagmire, the pigpen, the den of pitiful ineptitude that it currently finds itself in is anyone's guess --- blame 9/11...........
but the question might arise: is TIME magazine as PATHETIC as CNN cable news channel........ at first guess the answer would be no...... TIME magazine DOES seem to show more MUSCLE...... more BACKBONE........ more BONES and BONE STRUCTURE....... as compared to the whimsical and frivolous jellyfish that CNN news channel has become with it's dickhead Wolf Blitzer and supporting cast of clowns (do they all arrive to work in the same tiny car like the circus clowns?)...........
hence, despite and due to the beefier nature of TIME magazine, we find that nevertheless, it's RAYZON-DE-ETRE, to quote a typical texan speaking french, seems to belie a CANCER --- a nervous system on the verge of COLLAPSE --- like a world trade centre half an hour after rape or impregnation from a jumbo jet and still and few moments short of collapse.......... this is the vision that TIME offers us...... an organization teetering on the edge....... a nervous system crying for clean, VIBRANT, HEALTHY WHITE BLOOD CELLS to FIGHT DISEASE --- what we find instead -- is a mish mash, a CANCER...... a slow suicide, a game of potluck -- fucking Nature up the arse and hoping with everyone else consciously or otherwise that the odds will save the individual from cancer -- that someone else will be the victim ---
hence, TIME magazine's essential Nature has become a CRY FOR HELP --- but a more muscular robust one than CNN news channel --- where CNN news channel has morphed into an animal created purely in a scientific laboratory devoid of eyeballs/spine and wings -- to see if it's possible to breed tastier and cheaper, boneless chickens......... TIME still seems capable of THROWING A PUNCH......... standing up and TAKING STOCK --- paying of its own debts, like GREECE, and BEING SOMETHING.......
only TIME will tell if it will wobble and fall for the last time under it's own rickety legs
however such is not obvious to most people --- nevertheless, if you are incapable of watching CNN and not seeing a constant whimper, a murmur, a half-hearted, timid whimpering for help (like a patient in a hospital covered in bandages and plaster of Paris) ........ the the Atlanta-based CNN so willingly entered the quagmire, the pigpen, the den of pitiful ineptitude that it currently finds itself in is anyone's guess --- blame 9/11...........
but the question might arise: is TIME magazine as PATHETIC as CNN cable news channel........ at first guess the answer would be no...... TIME magazine DOES seem to show more MUSCLE...... more BACKBONE........ more BONES and BONE STRUCTURE....... as compared to the whimsical and frivolous jellyfish that CNN news channel has become with it's dickhead Wolf Blitzer and supporting cast of clowns (do they all arrive to work in the same tiny car like the circus clowns?)...........
hence, despite and due to the beefier nature of TIME magazine, we find that nevertheless, it's RAYZON-DE-ETRE, to quote a typical texan speaking french, seems to belie a CANCER --- a nervous system on the verge of COLLAPSE --- like a world trade centre half an hour after rape or impregnation from a jumbo jet and still and few moments short of collapse.......... this is the vision that TIME offers us...... an organization teetering on the edge....... a nervous system crying for clean, VIBRANT, HEALTHY WHITE BLOOD CELLS to FIGHT DISEASE --- what we find instead -- is a mish mash, a CANCER...... a slow suicide, a game of potluck -- fucking Nature up the arse and hoping with everyone else consciously or otherwise that the odds will save the individual from cancer -- that someone else will be the victim ---
hence, TIME magazine's essential Nature has become a CRY FOR HELP --- but a more muscular robust one than CNN news channel --- where CNN news channel has morphed into an animal created purely in a scientific laboratory devoid of eyeballs/spine and wings -- to see if it's possible to breed tastier and cheaper, boneless chickens......... TIME still seems capable of THROWING A PUNCH......... standing up and TAKING STOCK --- paying of its own debts, like GREECE, and BEING SOMETHING.......
only TIME will tell if it will wobble and fall for the last time under it's own rickety legs
yet another double entendre embedded in the marvellous and wonderful English language of Francis Bacon
so and so ---- are scum of the Earth
so and so ---- arse cum of the Earth
(note they sound the same --- amazing)
so and so ---- arse cum of the Earth
(note they sound the same --- amazing)
a recent movement in the direction-less rabble of the 6 billion
amongst the 6 billion direction-less rabble -- it is generally understood amongst the americans that they are the greatest, amongst each of the europeans that they, in particular, are the greatest, and generally that the asians and africans and indonesians, etc are inhuman monsters or savages shaking trees for bananas.........
hence amongst those that consider themselves the forerunners of humanity -- and most especially amongst the americans -- amongst the intelligentsia class that snorts the most cocaine from colombia --- a new movement amongst the direction rabble of 6 billion has begun: from the journalists of america, the Associated Press, no less, a glorious movement to encounter the evil Catholic Church, that wretched and disgusting maggot that seeks to embed itself in the intestines of health and rot everywhere........ the Church of Rot.......
the Associated Press, realizing they were no match for the black magical sheer Power of the Pope and his paedophilic priests, even when they tried to portray them as HUMANS, AS MEN, confused, vulnerable - mistaken......... although they succeeded for a few days at a time .... the powers of darkness mustered by the Black Priesthood of Evil run in black shadows by invisible Jesuits behind the scenes beyond the gaze (gays) of the good cocaine snorting journalists, finally, their coffee and cocaine would be used for a challenge that would truly capitalize on the nutritious benefits of such............
as said, the Media had mets it match and could no longer carry on without reinforcements -- they came in the form of washed up heavy metal stars: Slayer, Sabbath, Black Death, Naughty Priest, Judas Priest, Metallica --- later on the musicians became less black and menacing in their guise (guys) and ended up being pop rocky types like Blink 182 -- they assembled themselves before the gates of Vatican city with blonde airheaded models whose diet consisted only of cocaine and champagne and hence a lot less solid foodstuffs as compared to the Associated Press..........
TO BE CONTINUED.
hence amongst those that consider themselves the forerunners of humanity -- and most especially amongst the americans -- amongst the intelligentsia class that snorts the most cocaine from colombia --- a new movement amongst the direction rabble of 6 billion has begun: from the journalists of america, the Associated Press, no less, a glorious movement to encounter the evil Catholic Church, that wretched and disgusting maggot that seeks to embed itself in the intestines of health and rot everywhere........ the Church of Rot.......
the Associated Press, realizing they were no match for the black magical sheer Power of the Pope and his paedophilic priests, even when they tried to portray them as HUMANS, AS MEN, confused, vulnerable - mistaken......... although they succeeded for a few days at a time .... the powers of darkness mustered by the Black Priesthood of Evil run in black shadows by invisible Jesuits behind the scenes beyond the gaze (gays) of the good cocaine snorting journalists, finally, their coffee and cocaine would be used for a challenge that would truly capitalize on the nutritious benefits of such............
as said, the Media had mets it match and could no longer carry on without reinforcements -- they came in the form of washed up heavy metal stars: Slayer, Sabbath, Black Death, Naughty Priest, Judas Priest, Metallica --- later on the musicians became less black and menacing in their guise (guys) and ended up being pop rocky types like Blink 182 -- they assembled themselves before the gates of Vatican city with blonde airheaded models whose diet consisted only of cocaine and champagne and hence a lot less solid foodstuffs as compared to the Associated Press..........
TO BE CONTINUED.
what would happen if i had to fill in for that cock-suckin' idiot, david letterman:
insert sound byte: NOW HERE'S DAVE............
me: thanks for watching everybody, welcome back, did you buy some beef jerky?????
(canned laughter)
i would look at paul, then paul would say:
don't look at me dave
me: i'm not dave........... how was that 2010? i've just turned 105 and it's 2040 and there are no more animals left in the world -- the last one expired yesterday (drumroll/drumbeat for punchline joke/all animals on earth are now extinct)......... but when we look back on 2010 -- what a doozy, that was my shlut year paul
(cut to paul with his hands close together)
paul; (timidly, as always) -- your one and only fucken shlut year
me: yep, that was the year i showed the world i like to fuck around and ain't no-one gonna put me out of business for doing it
paul: damn straight
me: and now ladies and gentlemen, tonite's top ten unlikely immigrant parents of u.s. presidents: number 10, bozwa umbuko --- a giraffe hunter from zanzibar that accidentally migrated to america when the container ship he was working on off the coast of africa was hijacked by pirates
(canned laughter / drumbeat/drumroll for punchline effect)
number 9: chong chee won from china:..........
me: thanks for watching everybody, welcome back, did you buy some beef jerky?????
(canned laughter)
i would look at paul, then paul would say:
don't look at me dave
me: i'm not dave........... how was that 2010? i've just turned 105 and it's 2040 and there are no more animals left in the world -- the last one expired yesterday (drumroll/drumbeat for punchline joke/all animals on earth are now extinct)......... but when we look back on 2010 -- what a doozy, that was my shlut year paul
(cut to paul with his hands close together)
paul; (timidly, as always) -- your one and only fucken shlut year
me: yep, that was the year i showed the world i like to fuck around and ain't no-one gonna put me out of business for doing it
paul: damn straight
me: and now ladies and gentlemen, tonite's top ten unlikely immigrant parents of u.s. presidents: number 10, bozwa umbuko --- a giraffe hunter from zanzibar that accidentally migrated to america when the container ship he was working on off the coast of africa was hijacked by pirates
(canned laughter / drumbeat/drumroll for punchline effect)
number 9: chong chee won from china:..........
Saturday, May 15, 2010
how to sexually arouse and by turns, confuse, russell crowe
1st -- like many true blue ossies.... russell crowe will immediately become highly aroused by seeing a man touch a (wooden) cricket bat
then
to confuse him, present him with an insect of the cricket variety --- and then a bat (of the black flying variety)
that is the best tune you will get out of russell crowe
farthermore --- i shit on ridley scott's dead -- or in spanish: me cago en los putos muertos de ridley scott (his WHORISH dead)
black power
then
to confuse him, present him with an insect of the cricket variety --- and then a bat (of the black flying variety)
that is the best tune you will get out of russell crowe
farthermore --- i shit on ridley scott's dead -- or in spanish: me cago en los putos muertos de ridley scott (his WHORISH dead)
black power
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Syri-runner quiz
To see this movie you need to be ready for a good:
a) gaze
b) gay's
c) gays'
Your best friend might just prefer, instead of watching Syri-runner with you that you:
a) tie them down and take a runner shit on their chest
b) tie them down and take a heavy steaming solid dump on their chest
c) tie them down and do a semi-solid, semi-runner poop on their chest
a) gaze
b) gay's
c) gays'
Your best friend might just prefer, instead of watching Syri-runner with you that you:
a) tie them down and take a runner shit on their chest
b) tie them down and take a heavy steaming solid dump on their chest
c) tie them down and do a semi-solid, semi-runner poop on their chest
of mice and dildos
well, if you've been following this blog -- you would have noticed my comments on George Clooney --- last night i did something i never thought i'd do -- watch a George Clooney movie --- Syrirunner -- this movie is called Syrirunner after the runner style of poop that is mostly liquid and can trickle down your leg in liquid form........ to be honest, i'm sceptical of Matt Damon and his CIA James bond mao-vies too.... from memory, team america by the south park drug addicted Mohammed-haters has an excellent little sound byte where a pseudo-retarded voice now and then says: 'Matt Damon' --- need we say more?
Here's the low down critique on Syri-runner --- storyline is of the DISJOINTED PASTICHE variety where various stories do not really tie in with eachother so much as echo the socio-political issues the movie explores............ if you love cliches this is a movie for you....... it's definitely watch-able --- but don't question that it is crap.............. you're 100 times better off watching Avatar on the big screen with goggles.........
if it were possible to make a sequel to this movie, the first thing to do would be to get all of the cocaine snorting drug addicted moralizing cast and crew and have them lie down in a desert and then some fresh new actors to play their kidnappers and tormentors and have them rifle-butt the former in the head --- and have some nice classical music and a running commentary in subtitles of what is going on and why (because the first movie sucked)..........
the final analysis, and in an word or two: completely gay.
movie-ing on to the idiots of south park......... recently the two narcomat jokers decided to touch mohammed? but why? why get socio-political like that? why not just make an episode showing the non-americans of the world something we or they would like to see: how football is played....... that's something south park can do...... we don't care if after they make an episode teaching us about american culture (football) if they go and smoke some afghani ganja or recommend to their friends where the best afghani heroin can be bought ........... the entire world and the entire muslim world would be tickled pink by this notion -- they could even use the device of an exchange student from afghanistan learning how to play --- wouldn't that be a hoot and a holler --- they could even use this device to criticize the taliban........ but no, instead, these heavy metal 80s rockers had to go ahead and make it about mohammed......... way to stir the pot guise!
touching finally on Matt Damon and CIA genre movies.......... a fact you, the reader, may not be aware of is that Matt Damon and all the actors that play CIA agents in the movies as well as the real CIA agents that love all these movies normally sign a contract before they start gushing about the actors and movies they love (in the case of govt. workers/military people/CIA etc) or about the latter (in the case of the actors themselves) -- in all these circumstances, from a legal standpoint, the aforementioned folks normally voluntarity sign a waiver or writ admitting that they fuck dogs -- whether they do or no
Here's the low down critique on Syri-runner --- storyline is of the DISJOINTED PASTICHE variety where various stories do not really tie in with eachother so much as echo the socio-political issues the movie explores............ if you love cliches this is a movie for you....... it's definitely watch-able --- but don't question that it is crap.............. you're 100 times better off watching Avatar on the big screen with goggles.........
if it were possible to make a sequel to this movie, the first thing to do would be to get all of the cocaine snorting drug addicted moralizing cast and crew and have them lie down in a desert and then some fresh new actors to play their kidnappers and tormentors and have them rifle-butt the former in the head --- and have some nice classical music and a running commentary in subtitles of what is going on and why (because the first movie sucked)..........
the final analysis, and in an word or two: completely gay.
movie-ing on to the idiots of south park......... recently the two narcomat jokers decided to touch mohammed? but why? why get socio-political like that? why not just make an episode showing the non-americans of the world something we or they would like to see: how football is played....... that's something south park can do...... we don't care if after they make an episode teaching us about american culture (football) if they go and smoke some afghani ganja or recommend to their friends where the best afghani heroin can be bought ........... the entire world and the entire muslim world would be tickled pink by this notion -- they could even use the device of an exchange student from afghanistan learning how to play --- wouldn't that be a hoot and a holler --- they could even use this device to criticize the taliban........ but no, instead, these heavy metal 80s rockers had to go ahead and make it about mohammed......... way to stir the pot guise!
touching finally on Matt Damon and CIA genre movies.......... a fact you, the reader, may not be aware of is that Matt Damon and all the actors that play CIA agents in the movies as well as the real CIA agents that love all these movies normally sign a contract before they start gushing about the actors and movies they love (in the case of govt. workers/military people/CIA etc) or about the latter (in the case of the actors themselves) -- in all these circumstances, from a legal standpoint, the aforementioned folks normally voluntarity sign a waiver or writ admitting that they fuck dogs -- whether they do or no
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