general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part l (50)

Vladimir Putin stood before the audience at Princeton University --- a new generation of carbon dioxide burners was ready to graduate and pay-off student loans in excess of $200k... perhaps the best educated were the liberal arts and journalism students assembled there: all of them were taught to tie their shoelaces in pre-school.......

Putin looked out before the audience of dimwitted future Time magazine reporters and writers and future CNN pro-England, pro-Australian aboriginal anchors and started to speak:

'as you know, under the rule of my predecessor, Brezhnev, hostilities broke out in Afghanistan in 1979 --- for the next 10 years, Russian soldiers risked their necks handing out lollipops and candy to all the Afghani children and risked machine gun fire to teach them how to brush their teeth.......... under cover of night, our soldiers carrying peace wands knocked quietly and respectfully on the doors of the Afghan people to distribute CARE packages to them.... at no point did any Russian shoot an Afghan or lay a land mine...... many Russian soldiers were killed in this peace-keeping mission, no Afghani casualties were attributed to Russian love-wand carrying peace-keeping forces at this time.'

One of the idiot Princeton professors stood up and said:

'Hoorah! three cheers for Russia then!'

the entire audience carefully balanced their Lacrosse sticks against their seats in the large and expensive amphitheatre (which would later be destroyed by a flood brought about by excessive co2 in the atmosphere) and then gently got to their feet and hurrahed:

'three cheers for the Fatherland! three cheers for Russia! peace and goodwill to all mankind!'

'thanks you, thanks you,' said Mr. Putin, taken aback at the goodwill and gullibility of the audience... 'in fact, in our own country, other troublesome Muslims have made trouble for us from a place called Chechnya.... now, there have been some horrible rumors saying that before i became President of Russia i helped Russia Security Forces to bomb Russian people in urban settings and then blame such on the Chechyans so as to have a pretext to go to war.'

The Princeton audience scratched their heads--- it was too hard to understand... maybe they could get a Podcast and listen to it while they body-surfed during spring break.