The Black Rook sat back with his feet up on a table -- one foot lazily flopped over the other at the ankle, where else? To his right sat a small portable barbecue that sat on a 2-foot-high tripod on three wheels -- the Black Rook manipulated tongs to flip succulent burgers that gently cooked over the carbon coals beneath...
he put his reading glasses on and perused the index of former president George Bush's recently published memoirs, he scanned down and across and through the index trying to find a mention of Bush 43's famous dog whistle which he was awarded at a secret initiation ceremony for the Skulls Society at a prestigious Ivy League University -- alas, there was no mention of it and so the Black Rook decided to no longer search that avenue of entertainment...
he picked his remote control up and switched the tv on, a movie was about to start --- the credits rolled at the beginning of the movie, Sarah Palin was in it and so was her best friend and biggest admirer, Tina Fey, so too was Jerry Springer, and look! hey wow! it was produced by Michael Bay who possibly made the Transformers movie with a special credit to Jerry Bruckheimer, so you knew it was gonna have some dazzling special effects... the Black Rook knew the time was now to start popping popcorn....
the director sure must have had a lot of creative license as the usual standards and gauges for sampling formulaic appreciations of typical demographic/marketing spreads of hoo-diddly and technical market research stuff were absent and instead it was more like a Stanley Kubrick film....
the film opened with music by Jane's Addiction - and various scenes that indicated Tina Fey and Sarah Palin were about to face off on Jerry Springer under the sensationalist title: 'a momma grizzlie got my baby', the two were shown having make-up applied backstage -- choosing wardrobe for the TV appearance, talking to their PR agents, interspersed with the background music by Jane's Addiction...
a surprising indication of auteur-signature on the movie -- as opposed to the corporate Hollywood west coast LA team effort/market research approach to filmmaking was the unprecedented usage of another Jane's Addiction song after the first had ended... now Palin and Fey were on Jerry Springer and had to be held apart by security guards........ often American audiences will satisfied with nothing less than dazzling special effects which other Nations' respective film industries often cannot afford (instead resorting to arthouse movies about Marcel Proust) due to the small size of the Nations or blocs taking part in the enterprise, notable exceptions are a few big-budget Russian films like the Night-Watch series and one French made world war ii epic about Stalin or something like that (the French series 'Taxi' couldn't really be regarded as having big special effects)...... in general though, while most audiences around the world agreed America was the great Satan and the real terrorists and that non-Americans were forced against their will to watch dazzling special-effects films like Terminator 2 and 3 (although not so much the first one) and so forth (and Avatar) - they all generally agreed that although they were forced to watch these great Satan films against their own will with straps and torturers and devices for holding their eyelids open and applying droplets of saline on their eyes, they generally agreed the world over that Americans made the best action movies anyway........
hence a few little fisticuffs on Jerry Springer would not keep people satisfied, actually hitherto Fey had never made a real movie in her life, having tried with 'Date Night' which wasn't a movie but a reason to have a cutesie poster to decorate the inside of toilet bowls (or cisterns, go figure) with.....
but as the plot had it, after demonstrating superhuman strength in beating eachother up to the point where they smashed apart the building they were in with many an entertaining wall collapse and thump and special effect, the two turned into some kind of Manga cartoon characters and started flying into the air sans-machine and fighting eachother in the air with kicks and punches that moved too fast to be seen like in Dragon Ball Z and various mountains exploded in their vicinity as they showered eachother with fireballs -- their hair standing on end and blonde in color indicating that they were both super-warriors like Goku and Vejeta in Dragon Ball..... the film went on like this for an hour and a half -- the only music in the soundtrack was Jane's Addiction (entire) Nothing's Shocking album...
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