Friday, April 30, 2010

does one feel pity for the o'brien affair?

conan o'brien ... most likely belongs on tv doing late night tv............ it's a certainty that most people watch to much tv.......... but o'brien growing a beard and walking in a non-tv-show-hosting wilderness is too much........... some people with silver spoons born in their mouth (and i'm not saying o'brien is one of them) just make you feel bad when you see them in a soup kitchen............ why doesn't fox or someone just give o'brien his stinking late night time slot already? if this goes on o'brien might actually educate himself

Thursday, April 29, 2010

building on the PLOOPSY notion from previous posting

hence, it wouldn't be difficult to imagine a world, a thousand years from now, where muslim imans from iran and iraq and saudi arabia, the same as the last vestiges of catholics and christians too, all decide to abandon their holy books, or pepper their readings and religious practices with a hefty dose of repeating 'ploopsy' over and over again........

in a world with so much knowledge, and so many people exposed to so much information and so many great movies to watch and great stars to check it --- it makes sense that the people would all need a common thread --- a unifying bond --- saying 'ploopsy' whenever and wherever at anytime would fulfil that need for a common humanity amongst the worlds billions.........

starving babies in africa, and suicide bombers in rich american cities, all could repeat ploopsy, along with the rich and the poor, all around the world.........

when reviewing great art at the Louvre museum in Paris......... or when watching a football game, even if you don't know the rules of the sport..... in social situations, instead of worrying about following the nuances and threads of conversations --- the idea would just be to garble out 'ploopsie' as many times as possible like so many seagulls mulling and flapping over piles of trash......

this trash of course would in essence be centuries of pop culture.......... people a thousand years from now could watch re-runs of Quincy M.D. or Knight Rider or Different Strokes and just say 'ploopsy'.......... what else would there be to say?





everybody would already know everything by then......... no-one would think that the english were heterosexual ........ that the french had a backbone --- that the russians weren't mean hardcore bastards.......... that the americans couldn't say ploopsy faster and better if they tried.......... what would the point of existence be?

even euthanasia-medically-assisted suiciders would just say 'ploopsy' a ton of times over.......... some madman would go insane from hearing people say 'ploopsy' all the time and get a gun and start shooting people and people would run to the problem and start saying 'ploopsy' until the gunman suicides screaming 'ploopsy' questioningly and, well, you get the idea:

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

the spread of PLOOPSY around the world

at a future time from now, perhaps in two or three hundred years....... a new movement will take place among men: that of saying, chanting, hysterically screaming, coolly commenting, singing, dancing, proclaiming and reiterating PLOOPSY ....

why will humanity come to this crossroad? the russians will argue that their political regime, despite having stifled many freedoms and led to less spectacular economic development than american capitalism, led, in the long-run, to less climate despoiling -- leading to causing less reactive weather patterns with their sundry damage to insurance systems, economies, etc...

the americans will discount the russian argument stating the full-fledged freedoms and full-fledged capitalism is the only way to go (except for in south american nations in the 1970s where despotic dictators were preferred by the CIA)





the chinese will affirm that regardless of human freedoms and an individuals rights to keep his own body organs away from traffickers and state-owned hospitals that would despoil a citizen's organs from his own body like so many engine parts ---- that regardless of the right to freedom and PLOOPSY --- that the world could buy their knick-knacks at 25% the price of elsewhere -- thus flooding the world economy with cheap goods and contributing to greater pollution than elsewhere

europe, russia, china, india, the entire world, 1000 years from now, will have had enough of everyone's bullshit ....





people will become fed up with religion, free-love, sexually transmitted diseases, entrepreneurship-only-to-lead-to complete loss of capital due to unpredictable weather patters and high insurance premiums............ the world will become socialist through and through as the only means for insurance companies and accompanying investment banks to SURVIVE.......... faced with this mediocre existence --- all things that seemed wonderful from the previous 300 years: the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, tv shows like Law and Order and South Park, the movies, movie stars, swimming champions, politicians, revlon make-up, extreme sports ---- after so many centuries of freedom, finally people became bored of freedom and unpredictable weather leading to equalization and redistribution of wealth due to challenges facing insurance companies..............


at the same time, people realized that they could go NOWHERE spiritually, even if they abandoned all vices like alcohol, sluttiness and greed, they would come to realize that despite gaining some measure of peace from their newfound morality ... that nevertheless they would feel empty and incapable of meaningful spirituality --- still falling well short of Master Jesus' ability to perform 'miracles' --- nobody would be able to make the blind see and heal the crippled like Jesus had done --- their morality would lead to a happy, self-contented joy but no more than that --- this in turn would lead to a form of dissatisfaction unconscious or otherise.......

all of the preceeding factors would lead to the rise of PLOOPSY-ISM .......... as stated above........ PLOOPSY-ism would be the utterance of the word PLOOPSY at any and every time while humans carried out their mundane, idiotic and repetitive existences........ while shopping in the supermarket, while burying their dead, at weddings, walking down the street on a sunday afternoon -- in a busy marketplace --- while travelling in the orient --- during a beheading in saudi arabia --- anywhere and everywhere would seem like a good time to randomly whisper, cry, scream, yell, intone, repeat, drawl: PLOOPSY............

all as a form of contented, over-satisfied conclusion at the so-called 'PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS' and the 'ADVANCEMENTS OF MANKIND'.............. something akin to the use of the term 'hear hear' in the British Parliament......

Monday, April 12, 2010

the tales of Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul) part ii




7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson and his Pakistani adopted son Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul) go for a ride in John Roscoe's pick-up truck to a football field to work on Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed's (Peace be upon his Soul) football throwing style in an attempt to dissuade him from suicide-bombing and mass murdering the entire football team in the small mid-western to just-east-of-the-pacific-northwest closeknit community.......... (continued from the previous blog)


7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson: son, i never told this story to
anyone before, but i'm gonna tell it to you
now..... you know that before i met your mother,
rachelle, i was married to an american woman,
originally from Byelo-russia --- she was a doctor and a very
spiritual and loving woman........ once i decided to sacrifice
my own career for the sake of hers and spend a year with her in
Africa where she worked as a doctor......... now in these parts,
voodoo and black magic were common ocurrences and i saw things that i
would never be able to explain to anyone........

there, now make sure your fingers are on the stitches so you can make it turn the way you want it to -- this ball is real pigskin....

Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul): please, father, i know how to
throw the ball, just tell me the story


7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:
well son, as i was saying, we were in some pretty remote
places, nothing like anywhere else in the world i guess.....i saw two
witchdoctors one day that were summoned to make rain and by God they made
rain.... in another ceremony they cut eachothers' bodies until they were
bleeding and then started dancing and whirling about until their wounds
just magically dissappeared: i saw this with my own eyes......... now one
time this woman, my 1st wife, her name was Flubber, like the Robin
Williams movie....... she was called upon to attend some man that was
dying......

Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):

dammit - how can i stop the ball from wobbling like that! -- well why
didn't the witchdoctor people attend to the dying man instead of Flubber?


7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:

well that's a good question, but first let me tell you that this man....
he was really seeing some crazy visions..... people were translating what
he was saying and it was clear he was hallucinating and dying on his bed..
you heard about that old european writer Dante, from the 12th century?

Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):

no, did he write about Flubber?

7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:

no, he wrote about Hell and Purgatory and dying and things like that....
the dying African man hadn't heard about Dante either but the things he
was describing were straight out of a Dante book.... Flubber was taking
care of him, pouring all of her considerable love onto that dying, tortured
Soul...... meanwhile he was going through waves of consciousness steeped
in hallucinations and visions....... he saw Souls of the dead, unable to
progress to Heaven, jealously following every little affair they could
see or hope to influence right here on Earth........ jealous Souls trying
to exact revenge any way they could........ do you know what happens to
Souls after they die? does your religion tell you every definitive thing
about it? let's say it's a fact that certain Souls will go to paradise
with rivers of milk and honey and thirty virgins; that doesn't mean the
science of the afterlife is completely solved and that we know every
single thing about it the way we do about mobile phone technology.....

Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):

let me guess what happens next, the dying, hallucinating African man is
saved by a broth or stew of human faeces or faeces from a giraffe?

(to be continued)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

what a delicious curry



well it was time to not get angry but get pro-active about cooking curry..... just a visit to a local indian realtor including halal foods and foods made in india and pakistan and then to the kitchen!

here's how that magnificent rice curry got made:

boil rice 10 minutes -- in already boiling water -- don't play games with ur rice
-- cook it fast or it will overcook and come out goopy and overcooked and sticks to eachother and just a horrible mess........

dice carrots........... cook them first --- then throw in onion tomato and stuff like that --- get a cup of milk or coconut milk and mix ur three spoons of curry powder (1$ per box cheap)..... i threw in a little red wine (very minimal amount) as well as some left over oil from a can of mussels -- delish......... some sliced black olives....... once i was happy my food was cooked enough -- time to throw in milk with curry powder and broil it up some more..... when the time came -- just throw in the perfectly cooked rice and mix it all up --- it's now sitting on low cook -- delicious

also, i had a magnificent idea for a tv show or tv movie --- as usual -- my ideas are so great, i don't NEED to watch TV -- so i don't - i just think of my rad ideas this idea came to me while looking at some of the boxes i got from the indian/pakistani food store: some boxes made in karachi - pakistan with delicious meals that you just drop in boiling water for 3-5 minutes and then eat: yummy!.......... of course, you can have all the great ideas you like, but it's still nice to listen to music......



here's my tv show idea....... some look like you see on hallmark channel (cannot get enough of them) -- or that TV show "7th Heaven"........ so some kind of mid-west -- northern cowboy montana/south dakota all the way up until washington state
but not cool enough to be pacific northwest sasqatkchawan places........ the picture of Jessica Simpson (see above) would be hung up on all the walls of the house (overly so -- south park like)..... she would be the father/husband figure's dead wife -- a doctor from byelorussia that died in a tragic car accident saving someone's life perhaps..........

the main couple decides to adopt a child from pakistan --- he has been found trying to mass-murder people through suiciding -- an expert bombmaker........ the obviously dicey match with the Jesus/money-tree loving midwestern american WHITE(of course) couple and the troubled would-be mass murdering Mohammadean (Peace be upon his Soul) would provide for some interesting scenes.... IMAGINE:

(this scene is a chestnut stock staple from that family tv show genre like the Waltons, 7th Heaven (non sitcom/canned laughter variety) ..... scenes like the following usually occur on drives home from football tryouts -- or while chopping wood --- dad teaches son how to be kind of thing: this particular scene occurs in the Smithson's family garage/workshop

(master shot of John and ggJM (peace be upon his Soul) in workshop where ggJM (Peace be upon his Soul) is working on a bomb

John (transiation to CU from master shot after 5 words into first sentence) (main bible-bashing christ loving 7th Heaven TV dad WHITE as snowflakes in skin color): Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul), the Coach said you
had some trouble with some of the kids at tryouts today

(cut to Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed holding pliers in his hand and working on some wires)

I hate all those white American kids dad, you know that, i want to blow them up in the changerooms and suicide and go to paradise with 30 virgins like your ex-wife before she gave up the pooty-tang to you on your wedding night

John (CU): well just tell me why son, maybe we can work on it, is it cause of that Ricky Shroeder kid's throwing arm? he's an all-star quarterback, it's not easy to just arrive in America and throw better than that --- mastering a discipline takes time......

Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul): it's not just that, i mean, dammit -- he is really good ........ me and some kids some him training: he was throwing balls from a convertible doing 80 mph at letterboxes 50 metres away and hitting all of them, one after the other, boom boom boom........ he's not normal.........

John (CU): so you're gonna let his talent be an excuse to be a quitter? you just gonna finish your bomb and blow those people up?

Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul): you know we have different beliefs father, according to your religion, i will be saving some of the victims Souls from eternity in Hell by preventing their still youthful Souls from committing Mortal Sin beyond redemption, Brad O'Brady, one of the linebackers has already bedded twenty juniors this year, surely he will burn in hell this fiendish slut!

John (Medium Close Up - holding one of GgJM (PBUhS)'s wire circuits and a mobile phone and looking at it:
Son, (holds his hands on GgJM (PBUhS)'s shoulders and looks him sincerely in the eyes), you know as well as i do that God or Allah's way can be mysterious and difficult for us to understand --- but we're put on this planet to make the best of it that we can -- to master life..... or not... son if you blow yourself up and that football team, a lot of people are gonna hurt really bad -- think how much Brad O'Brady's parents love him

GgJM (PBUhS)'s:
he is a filthy slut and he will abide with Allah after his Death, Allah will know what to do with his Soul

John (CU):
so you're gonna play God (or Allah)

(emotional heightening in the scene, reflected by GgJM (PBUhS)'s: body language, he rises from his bomb-making table and puts his hands to his head, he is flustered, lost for words)

John approaches him:

son, let's work on your throw........

Friday, April 9, 2010

crazy part ii

cooped up in a taxi 12 hours at a time........ alice cooper hosts some radio show -- found out yesterday --------- drive up pitt street drive up riley street in sydney --- drive up druitt street -- all in downtown sydney -- druitt street has same name as my hometown in western sydney

blow up this mother country blow up that mother country........... terrorist here -- dead there......... asian here --- asian there......... china is full of asians....... sydney is full of asians..............

sick of life -- sick of wife.............. everything with wifey is one big drama........ less anger-fying than in bulgaria ------ 2 years in bulgaria destroyed and crushed my soul to pitiful dust......... one big 2 year long voyage into anger and madness...... do i regret it now? no......... makes me appreciate michel angelos art even more and god knows what other shit........ has my soul permanently left my body until my next lifetime --- somehow i doubt it.......

women in spain crushing garlic with the same kitchen implement: the little crusher -- one wooden cup thing to put the garlic in -- one hand-held

i am so vegetarian -- only ocassionally eating red meat and more often eating fish -- although generally abstaining from meat....... i never get drunk anymore or smoke pot or even cigarrettes now........ i feel strong willed

the woman my wife and i bought our wedding rings from was texan and relocated to australia like 20 years ago --- she sounds half-texan half-english-from-western-sydney

fuck the english.......... viva spain............. eat shit

will i end up dumping my wife to go life in america (maybe via some time in mexico first -- sure would be nice to be around some people that speak spanish) ........ maybe next year..........

my wife pisses me off --- i wish i could send her into Earth's orbit for half a year

random stuff



Aretha Franklin


Noun 1. Tartuffe - a hypocrite who pretends to religious piety (after the protagonist in a play by Moliere)
Tartufe
dissembler, dissimulator, hypocrite, phoney, phony, pretender - a person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives



According to Nietzsche, English people were boring plodders -- very practical -- but very boring and plodding --- eminently guilty of moral tartufferie............

food for thought:

can't sounds the same as cunt in british english, along with 'lust' and 'last'

's tough / stuff / staff all sound the same

's crewed (like the spaceship in Avatar) 's screwed (ruined/no good)


add a speech impediment and 'th' words become 'f' words to the subconcious -

eg., fought = thought and without the speech impediment are very similar

in australia the british english is so bastardized that 'beers' sounds like 'biz' (short for business).........

in american english where the british tartuffic can't sounds like cunt and lust sounds like lust (etc) has been ditched (presumably by the Puritan settlers -- also english people to a large extent)........ nevertheless english remains an enigmatic language (possibly created intentionally like that to a large extent by the writer of the shakespeare plays) with double and triple wordplays in many sentences playing out:

here's example one million and twenty five:

i haven't got a fucking cent?

(you haven't got a fucking Scent???? (hello)

Moor sounds like more........... how many homynyms can you find?

michel angelo's Lust Judgement

Thursday, April 8, 2010

nasa




what a surprise recently to meet two young women from that south-east asian country recently spanked by a hurricane: syam - the one that is still a military dictatorship -- the most surprising thing about the two women were that they were american educated as the military junta allows an american school there and that their father worked for nasa in mariland before returning to syam to live there

crazy

listening to crime mob -- i'll beat yo azz.... just found some email written in french offering to pay me some money to run some (presumably french) advert on my blog......... tried checking out my homeboy drew's yummy taters blog what ben follows to see if there's some way to ask drew if he got the same offer....... but seems not possible..........

well my blog certainly has repeating themes which would probably seem repetitive:

i) allusions to magic: atlantis, lemuria, tolkien silmarillion -- fairy tales....

ii) cynicism, disgust with the world

iii) childish nonsensical words (glooby, flooby) etc

iv) violence

v) celebrity culture

vi) climate change death-nelling

as a taxi driver --- it's like 48 hours a week driving....... got 2 make some proper real cds to listen to real music like crime mob -- beat yo azz

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

addendum to mission outline stated below:

if you sing, 'ploopy nookey nooks' while carrying out your 2nd phase mission you will receive 20,000 bonus points! (equivalent to one mcdonald's cheeseburger!!!)

you have been chosen

for a time crisis or battle royale!!!! yes you!!!

have u heard of darwin's theory of survival of the fittest that stipulates
that all humans want to survive??? well it's not true, what they really want
is to VENT THEIR STRENGTH (along with all other creations) -- not just SURVIVE.

you have been chosen to carry out the following mission:

1) find as many practicing homosexuals that have butt-humped at least 200 men and find the same amount of male bbc reporters (british broadcasting corporation) -- female bbc reporters are acceptable............

now without worrying whether the bbc reporters and practicing homosexuals (homosexuals may also be female) answered the question:

find out what percantage would rather have a sexual encounter of any description (not only of the bill clinton kind) with jessica simpson, and which remaining percentage would choose to have a sexual encounter with iran's leader akma-dinner-jihad

the first part of your mission is complete --- have at least 15 respondents from either group (bbc or homos)

2) find as many potential female american born blonde terrorists as you can before the FBI arrests them, start with your neighbours.......... try to sway them by getting them to watch nickelodeon kids channel reruns from 2004: do it now!

you have been chosen! you are special!

london calling



greetings and salutations to all comers.......




well, what a great little holiday........ two days and nights away in a luxury hotel..... spa, sauna, heated swimming pool, gym with running machines, etc........ just a swell time --- up in the mountains......... with wintertime approaching and all...... can't really say it's good to be home......... just feeling like a cockroach that has been placed in a scientific lab-rat maze experimental maze so as to stumble forward on my unusual knees and ankle bones to prove some colossal bio-chemical experiment to the Gods.............

so let's look at jessica simpson, ain't she lookin sicca than eva??? d-lish --- had me singing roxette's 'she's got the look' and doing my buffalo bill routine hiding my testicles behind my thighs all morning..............

anyhoo, moving on........... who the hell in the pentagon was it that leaked those shoot-em-up apache helicopter innocent streetwalkers with cameras images.........

no multi-millionaire celebrities have died recently that we can recall ---- except for brittany murphy --- how is it that she died??????

well, since my last blog, i have quit smoking cigarrettes, once and for all times sake i'd reckon, but don't think that that has affected my jaded, cynical viewpoint of the world............ it's more a jaded cynical viewpoint of humanity --- not really of God........ after all, i have the free will to go and live in Los Angeles california, smoke ganja, drink alcohol, party and try to get into numerous starlets' pants (their pants, literally, not bed them!)........ but if Beelzebub were to offer me a chance to light a wick that would blow up the entire planet would i do it? say goodbye to hollywood mama, you know i would............

moving on...... we all know we can nickname people, including after famous personages from history, here are some famous historical characters that you can nickname your friends after:

thomas jefferson, goebbels hitler himmler and eva braun, jung and freud, genghis khan, etc, etc, etc ad infinitum......... oh yeah, and the Blessed Virgin (Mary).... well and Jesus too if u like ....... so you see, the list is as long as your imagination is and your list of friends to name and your knowledge of famous characters..........

am i looking forward to ironing my taxi uniform today? hell no- --- turns out i'll be working a thursday shift as i took tuesday and wednesday off as holidays........