7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson and his Pakistani adopted son Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul) go for a ride in John Roscoe's pick-up truck to a football field to work on Gerka gerka Jihad Mohammed's (Peace be upon his Soul) football throwing style in an attempt to dissuade him from suicide-bombing and mass murdering the entire football team in the small mid-western to just-east-of-the-pacific-northwest closeknit community.......... (continued from the previous blog)
7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson: son, i never told this story to
anyone before, but i'm gonna tell it to you
now..... you know that before i met your mother,
rachelle, i was married to an american woman,
originally from Byelo-russia --- she was a doctor and a very
spiritual and loving woman........ once i decided to sacrifice
my own career for the sake of hers and spend a year with her in
Africa where she worked as a doctor......... now in these parts,
voodoo and black magic were common ocurrences and i saw things that i
would never be able to explain to anyone........
there, now make sure your fingers are on the stitches so you can make it turn the way you want it to -- this ball is real pigskin....
Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul): please, father, i know how to
throw the ball, just tell me the story
7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:
well son, as i was saying, we were in some pretty remote
places, nothing like anywhere else in the world i guess.....i saw two
witchdoctors one day that were summoned to make rain and by God they made
rain.... in another ceremony they cut eachothers' bodies until they were
bleeding and then started dancing and whirling about until their wounds
just magically dissappeared: i saw this with my own eyes......... now one
time this woman, my 1st wife, her name was Flubber, like the Robin
Williams movie....... she was called upon to attend some man that was
dying......
Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):
dammit - how can i stop the ball from wobbling like that! -- well why
didn't the witchdoctor people attend to the dying man instead of Flubber?
7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:
well that's a good question, but first let me tell you that this man....
he was really seeing some crazy visions..... people were translating what
he was saying and it was clear he was hallucinating and dying on his bed..
you heard about that old european writer Dante, from the 12th century?
Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):
no, did he write about Flubber?
7th Heaven Father John Roscoe Smithson:
no, he wrote about Hell and Purgatory and dying and things like that....
the dying African man hadn't heard about Dante either but the things he
was describing were straight out of a Dante book.... Flubber was taking
care of him, pouring all of her considerable love onto that dying, tortured
Soul...... meanwhile he was going through waves of consciousness steeped
in hallucinations and visions....... he saw Souls of the dead, unable to
progress to Heaven, jealously following every little affair they could
see or hope to influence right here on Earth........ jealous Souls trying
to exact revenge any way they could........ do you know what happens to
Souls after they die? does your religion tell you every definitive thing
about it? let's say it's a fact that certain Souls will go to paradise
with rivers of milk and honey and thirty virgins; that doesn't mean the
science of the afterlife is completely solved and that we know every
single thing about it the way we do about mobile phone technology.....
Gerka-gerka-Jihad Mohammed (Peace be upon his Soul):
let me guess what happens next, the dying, hallucinating African man is
saved by a broth or stew of human faeces or faeces from a giraffe?
(to be continued)
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