the Queen of England appeared in a live, televised address to the Nation of the United Kingdom or Britain or just England... she obviously appeared to be distressed, as did the military, uniformed joint chiefs of staff standing behind her...
'my fellow Britons,' she commenced, in clipped, even tones, 'it is with great distress that i report the following message to you: it appears that unbeknownst to British authorities, the rest of the world has decided to carpet bomb England with the end of obliterating all English life from the United Kingdom... all of England will be bombed, starting tomorrow, unceasingly, by a coalition of Russian, Chinese, African, Israeli and French forces.' The Queen paused here for a swallow and a soothing sip of water, her hands trembled fearfully... 'it appears our friends and allies, the Americans, are trying their best to safeguard our tenuous future, but at the moment they have only been able to assure us that from this moment onward, Kentucky Fried Chicken will be available at half price indefinitely.'
A great many Britons listening to her as the Nation stopped to take stock of her speech notably enlivened themselves at that utterance, half price KFC, now that's not bad at all...
'... however, dear friends, it appears that even America cannot help us now, and that all of England, excepting the city of Coventry, which has already been quarantined and is now in the hands of the Nation's military, will be ruthlessly and unceasingly bombed, beginning at this time tomorrow. We beg that you put the people's interest first and do not resort to panic or looting of any kind. Simply put, the rest of the world have decided that we Britons are a terribly annoying lot of snotty-nosed spotty bastards. Wales, Northern Island and Scotland will not be bombed, however, travel to those locations will not be possible as the borders are closed there, and the airports too have been closed pending further notice. Those Britons with boats may try their best to escape while it is still possible. That is all for now, goodbye.'
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