mumble mumble afghanistan, part 125

updates:

the Palin/Fey dog (with the Jane's Addiction soundtrack) - catching fish in their maws like good momma grizzlies, Palin/Fey were betrayed by their prey which turned out to be piranha fish thriving in canada due to climate change, both Palin and Fey who had taken on the form of bears like a werewolf movie or some crap about Beowulf reverted back to (naked or bare) human form as their maws reverted to human mouths which were decimated by the piranhas -- both were pale - not because of Palin's last name but because of a general lack of sunshine --- their pale naked (bare) bodies lay on the forest floor in the northern climes like a Norsca commercial, their mouths a bloody wreck -- their tongues having been masticated and torn and ripped by the piranhas, blood spattered their otherwise becoming (becoming being either a- hot or b- becoming human from bear form and bare and hot anyway) naked (and pale) bods..... they lay unconscious -- someone call an ambulance....

meanwhile Shephard Smith from Fox News was laying a wreath for his dead great-great-grandparents that died fighting the Spaniards in the Spanish-American war over New Mexico and Texas, Raul Garcia from old Cadiz, an important staging ground in Spain for the heavy galleons that crossed the Atlantic weighed down with Andean gold and silver puffed on a cigarrette and watched Smith and muttered under a tree, 'me cago en tus putos muertos, tronco,' which means, 'i shit on your whorish dead, trunk,' but which would be better translated as: 'i shit on your son-of-a-bitch dead, dude.'

The American Media: an astoundingly well-kept secret was that every year the American Media held a massive rave party with a secret location and flashing lights and ecstasy.... every year they secretly made their preparations, lovingly preparing their glow-sticks, silver swimming trunks, whistles, adidas shoes, sunglasses and sundry rave-party apparel and paraphernalia.... Tom Brokaw was God at this annual party as he was the only mainstream journalist to have Anthrax sent him by Khalid Sheikh Mohammed from a stash some said could only be made by advanced scientists from America or Russia.... Tom Brokaw was so cool at these parties all the women, from the minor city rags destined for the scrapheap thanks to the internet and mobile phones with internet and the internet era of journalism and goodbye newspaper and one dollar and hello free internet news, (that was a lot to squeeze between two commas) - wanted to rub up against Brokaw as they enjoyed their ectasy rush and the crowd whooped ecstatically when the DJ hit a high point....

in Iran Akmadinajihad ran a bath, 'I ran a bath,' he said to his wife as he walked into the room in showery-flip-flop things and a bath robe ready for his bath-time.... 'da Ba'ath party,' he said..... 'hey,' he said to his wife, 'you know, i think i've misjudged these Americans all along, i just saw that Travolta/Williams movie with the guerilla and that other actor whose name nobody knows except for his mother.'
'yes,' nodded understandably Akmadinjihad's wife.
'and, well, that was such a great movie, it has completely revolutionized my opinion of Americans, after all, we Iranians have had many revolutions and revolution is no stranger amongst us,' said the President.
'well the women from Desperate Housewives and Sex in the City are arriving today in just a few hours, so we will receive them as heroes?'
Akmadinajihad (the President), instead of answering with words of his own, poignantly went through his David Bowie collection until he found the song, 'we could be heroes,' and played it.

someone assumed the stance in afghanistan part 124

the question arose in any thinking person's mind: if democracies are so much more boring than other regimes, except as regarding a few public democratic figures capable of stealing from the public and being in the spotlight, criminals, drug smugglers and strippers, rock stars and not even including movie stars who were also predictably boring even taking into account the glamorous globe-trotting; the question arose, how is it possible that democracies could produce better movies than non-democracies --- take Japan -- since being bitch-slapped into submission with two nukes at the end of world war ii, they went to make a number of excellent movies as democratic nations, perfect example: Battle Royale --- what was it in the boring, stodgy nature of life in democracies that made for such great fantasizing, some creative imagination?

someone assumed the stance in afghanistan part 123

as if to prove the banal and stodgily boring English nature of democracies, as opposed to societies like China's where more people were put to death than the rest of the world combined, per year, where peoples' organs were plumbed while they were still living... the Palin/Fey movie progressed from Japanese Manga themes to morphing into bear-women and catching fish by a river as they back-flipped in the air in front of them in their maws.... this usage of maw later inspired a pop-culture classic song, 'gimme maw'

someone assumed the stance in afghanistan part 122

having made reference to the nature of large Nation's film industries and cultural movie product, e.g., America and Russia's big-budget movies as compared to smaller Nations arthouse films about clepto-maniacal body-surfers, the reader may well be surprised to know about some of the amazing big-budget movies being made in Communist China these days with what are called big Hollywood production values. A great example of these amazing, and often unknown in 'the West' movies, is 'a world without thieves'. Although this movie does not have any giant-trucks screeching along on the highway sideways as in Terminator movies or the Russian Night-Watch movies, it isn't cheap and is highly entertaining. Communist China has been making amazing kung-fu movies for decades that most people have never seen or heard-of but which can easily be seen just by switching on a TV in mainland China.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 121

In Russia, at the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin stood and finished speaking on the phone, placing it in its cradle, looking to Mr. Medvedev, he said,

"It's for sure, the Sopranos will be coming the dinner tonight," reported Mr. Putin.

"Wonderful," responded Mr. Medvedev with the good-nature of one of the squirrels from the popular Warner Brothers cartoons from the 1950s cartoons.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 120

The Black Rook sat back with his feet up on a table -- one foot lazily flopped over the other at the ankle, where else? To his right sat a small portable barbecue that sat on a 2-foot-high tripod on three wheels -- the Black Rook manipulated tongs to flip succulent burgers that gently cooked over the carbon coals beneath...

he put his reading glasses on and perused the index of former president George Bush's recently published memoirs, he scanned down and across and through the index trying to find a mention of Bush 43's famous dog whistle which he was awarded at a secret initiation ceremony for the Skulls Society at a prestigious Ivy League University -- alas, there was no mention of it and so the Black Rook decided to no longer search that avenue of entertainment...

he picked his remote control up and switched the tv on, a movie was about to start --- the credits rolled at the beginning of the movie, Sarah Palin was in it and so was her best friend and biggest admirer, Tina Fey, so too was Jerry Springer, and look! hey wow! it was produced by Michael Bay who possibly made the Transformers movie with a special credit to Jerry Bruckheimer, so you knew it was gonna have some dazzling special effects... the Black Rook knew the time was now to start popping popcorn....

the director sure must have had a lot of creative license as the usual standards and gauges for sampling formulaic appreciations of typical demographic/marketing spreads of hoo-diddly and technical market research stuff were absent and instead it was more like a Stanley Kubrick film....

the film opened with music by Jane's Addiction - and various scenes that indicated Tina Fey and Sarah Palin were about to face off on Jerry Springer under the sensationalist title: 'a momma grizzlie got my baby', the two were shown having make-up applied backstage -- choosing wardrobe for the TV appearance, talking to their PR agents, interspersed with the background music by Jane's Addiction...

a surprising indication of auteur-signature on the movie -- as opposed to the corporate Hollywood west coast LA team effort/market research approach to filmmaking was the unprecedented usage of another Jane's Addiction song after the first had ended... now Palin and Fey were on Jerry Springer and had to be held apart by security guards........ often American audiences will satisfied with nothing less than dazzling special effects which other Nations' respective film industries often cannot afford (instead resorting to arthouse movies about Marcel Proust) due to the small size of the Nations or blocs taking part in the enterprise, notable exceptions are a few big-budget Russian films like the Night-Watch series and one French made world war ii epic about Stalin or something like that (the French series 'Taxi' couldn't really be regarded as having big special effects)...... in general though, while most audiences around the world agreed America was the great Satan and the real terrorists and that non-Americans were forced against their will to watch dazzling special-effects films like Terminator 2 and 3 (although not so much the first one) and so forth (and Avatar) - they all generally agreed that although they were forced to watch these great Satan films against their own will with straps and torturers and devices for holding their eyelids open and applying droplets of saline on their eyes, they generally agreed the world over that Americans made the best action movies anyway........

hence a few little fisticuffs on Jerry Springer would not keep people satisfied, actually hitherto Fey had never made a real movie in her life, having tried with 'Date Night' which wasn't a movie but a reason to have a cutesie poster to decorate the inside of toilet bowls (or cisterns, go figure) with.....

but as the plot had it, after demonstrating superhuman strength in beating eachother up to the point where they smashed apart the building they were in with many an entertaining wall collapse and thump and special effect, the two turned into some kind of Manga cartoon characters and started flying into the air sans-machine and fighting eachother in the air with kicks and punches that moved too fast to be seen like in Dragon Ball Z and various mountains exploded in their vicinity as they showered eachother with fireballs -- their hair standing on end and blonde in color indicating that they were both super-warriors like Goku and Vejeta in Dragon Ball..... the film went on like this for an hour and a half -- the only music in the soundtrack was Jane's Addiction (entire) Nothing's Shocking album...

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 119 (911 held up to a mirror)

Leonardo worked on a new invention: a gun with sophisticated sensory apparati around the muzzle -- certain cells that could detect saliva -- upon detecting saliva around the gun's muzzle -- it would discharge... good for people that wanted to kill by jamming a gun in someone's mouth and not bother firing.