general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xlii

somewhere in the desert -- Michelangelo and Leonardo decided to stop for petrol ........ Leonardo removed Miller's phone some time beforehand and subsequently handcuffed his wrist to the steering wheel....... Leonardo started pumping fuel into the white mini-van...... shortly thereafter Michelangelo approached him:

'Dude why are you bringing this guy with us? He's nothing to us -- we're meant to be enjoying a road trip,' said Michelangelo.

He made no mention that kidnapping is a felony crime.

'He's a person of interest in the war on terror,' said Leonardo.

Michelangelo got really pissed off with that response - what a crock of sh*t. Why was that stupid bastard Leonardo coming with that bullsh*t that even he didn't believe in? Internally he made a decision as a point of resolution. Leonardo left to pay for the fuel and commit to the refueling station interior/store.
- Michelangelo approached Miller from the passenger side window.

'Eat this chocolate eclair man,' said Michelangelo to Miller. Miller decided to comply being in a position of weakness.

Leonardo returned to the vehicle and mounted the driver's side seat and started the engine and continued towards Arizona through the starlit desert.

After a half hour or so Miller became noticeably agitated.

'What's going on?' asked Leonardo.

'I fed Miller some magic mushrooms, maybe he's having a bad trip,' responded Michelangelo.

Leonardo looked at him and asked him, 'are you for real?' and by Michelangelo's smug smirk and chuckle he deemed he was indeed serious.

'Well look, he doesn't look very happy about it now man, we're gonna have to stop somewhere soon and let him ride it out with his feet on the ground, what do you say?' said Leonardo.

'Aight,' responded Leonardo.

Upon pulling over, Michelangelo said he was going to drive a post into the desert sand and attach a chain to it and Miller so as to hold Miller fast to the desert floor -- it seemed like a good idea to Leonardo who agreed to collect some firewood and start a fire.... they had found a shoulder of freeway and a patch of land protected from the sight of road-comers by trees and ledges.

'Dude my i-pod is totalled,' said Leonardo to Michelangelo after starting to relax a little after starting a good fire and seeing that Michelangelo's work fastening Miller was done.

'Dude look at this guy trip man, Jesus Christ!' enthused Michelangelo.

Indeed, Miller was having a bad magic mushroom trip -- presently, in his own perceptions -- he saw a giant spider walk slowly towards him, apparently intent on devouring him -- venom dripped slowly and languidly down it's hairy legs near its exceedingly large fangs. Miller screamed in horror and this in turn caused Michelangelo to laugh with great gusto -- which in turn, had a contagious effect on Leonardo.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xli

Leonardo ignored the question about 20 and 22 or twenty too.... and after a short while, Miller became aware of a series of different scents that he could smell --- all of them seemed tantalizing and suggested at a series of mental conditions different and yet very appealing in Miller's mind --- and indeed -- it was the same for Michelangelo and Leonardo......

'what is that?' asked Miller.

'Michelangelo is working on something that involves different scents.'

'Dude,' said Michelangelo good-spiritedly -- for he was no longer upset or angry, 'i'm thinking maybe when we get to Arizona, maybe around Flagstaff -- to leave you and go off on my own for a while -- and then meet up with you later on -- when you're closer to Ohio.'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xl - 40 that is, not xtra large

'yeah and we're european so we're eurotrash and everyone knows everyone that's not american is a homosexual anyway so no need even speculating on whether Leonardo was an arse-f*cker or no, right?'

Miller was satisfied with that answer but followed up with:

'but in the pictures of Leonardo he's an old man -- with a long beard -- you look like you're 20 years old.'

'Michelangelo's 20, i'm 22,' responded Leonardo.

'You mean you are 20 also or twenty-two as in twenty plus the number two,' queried Miller.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xxxix

LA become a mere twinkle in the desert behind them that stood for los angeles and not louisiana --- Miller sat in silence as the two shared their eclectic musical tastes ranging from electronica and techno to soulful folk music..... Michelangelo didn't seem to stop smoking marijuana for a second.......... there was also a lot of beer to be had........ somewhere in Death Valley Miller broke the long silence.....

'aren't you guys meant to be ninja turtles?' he said.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xxxviii

Leonardo t-shirt guy gunned the accelator and sped down the road 100 yards and Michelangelo pointed a Taser at him from the van windown -- Leonardo was out of the van by now and said:

'can you spell 'don't taze me dude?'' -- of course you can, now you're under arrest -- co-operate and travel as an equal or resist and you'll be kidnapped, bound and removed in the back of the van like so many bags of empty seafood.'

Miller, surprised after yet another failure to work out -- looked up at the guy sitting in the van pointing a taser at him --

'that's Michelangelo,' said the guy standing out of the van staring at Miller with his right arm outstretched and his fingers all pointing out flat --- 'resist and he will taser you.'

'and you're Leonardo,' said the stunned Miller at the man standing nearby him accosting him with the Leonardo t-shirt on.

'that's right, we've come here expressly from the renaissance in the name of art and we're on a mission to bring you to Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio.'

'why?' said the shell-shocked Miller.

'that's classified sir,' responded Leonardo.

Michelangelo stirred in his seat and was becoming upset -- he had a very short temper sometimes:

'well don't just stand there like a f*cken idiot! get into the f*cken van you d*ckhead!' yelled Michelangelo with great vitriol.

Miller seemed convinced and Leonardo was polite and obliging in ushering Miller into the middle of the big three-seater frontseat of the van via his own driver side door --- there'd be no sense in asking Michelangelo to move now, he'd only get pissed off further....

Michelangelo started playing music -- Afroman -- and lit up a joint.

'Man i don't know what the f*ck we're doing -- driving to Ohio -- that's gonna take days,' Michelangelo said.

'squirm around or make any trouble, throw punches, etc and i'll stun you with my little stun-gun and Michelangelo's got a taser trained on you too, co-operate and you'll be fine,' established Leonardo to Miller as the latter perched himself in the middle of the long front seat.

Leonardo put the van into gear via a manual stick shift located behind the wheel.

And off they sped towards Death Valley and Arizona beyond.......

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xxxvii

Love did a few things around the house and came back to her computers a few hours later --- Miller was finishing up at the gym and ready to leave.......

outside....... a hundred yards down the road from the gym.... two men in a white van with a peace sign on it sat and watched the gym exit......... the driver had a shirt that said 'Leonardo' on it --- the other man, next to him, had a shirt that said 'Michelangelo' on it.......

Miller exited the gym and mounted the stairs to briskly descend and then to ascend to his vehicle.......

the two men with the Renaissance artists t-shirts witnessed Miller's exit

'That's him,' said the Leonardo shirt guy and started the van's engine, 'that's our person of interest, let's get him.'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xxxvi

Love continued watching Miller's pastimes in real-time.... she decided to blow-up some other sub-screen depicting what Miller had been doing in previous days while she was busy learning how to barn dance.... the conversation with his mom didn't interest her much anymore and his stay at the gym would be predictable - running his mouth and drinking Miller beer.... she maximized another window on her screen showing Miller the day before walking near downtown LA and stopping outside a sweatshop where hundreds of mexican women within hunched over sewing machines -- Love had seen this scene play out before and was happy to watch it again as she enjoyed her high -- Miller stood at a side gate next to the sidewalk and watched a factory full of women working for $4 an hour make cheap t-shirts.... God only knew why they were doing it in LA instead of in Mexico, but they were doing it there too so whatever... Miller loved watching them and chewed on popcorn from a small box he held in his hands,

'gracias por ayudar al tio Sam,' said Miller in his high school spanish

(thank you for helping uncle Sam out) is the english translation of what Miller said.

one nearby woman said to another woman in spanish as they sewed:

'que se joda ese hijo de puta.' which in english means: may that son of a bitch go to hell.