Sunday, January 29, 2012

my cat 'puddy'






ok it's been an exciting few days in tv land, underwater and even on the dinner table

yesterday they were selling 3 t-bone steaks for only $4.50 -- that is a 66% discount in australia where the food is so expensive -- gobbled those steaks up in one day

right now my boy nadal is 2 sets square w/ djokovic in the tennis final -- looks like someone's gonna win soon

in big bang theory -- the blonde girl, kelly, or whatever her name is goes through a little identity crisis and feels like a failure after not having landed an acting job in 2 years in hollywood -- not sure where pasadena is but anyway she played howard at some virtual warcraft game

under the water today was so astoudingly awesome words cannot even explain -- started going autistic rubbing the moss and watches the bubbles rise up -- snorkelling is awesome

that marine documentary -- battle for marjah -- it's sad becoz it was funded by australian taxpayers and they would only let an anglo-saxon make a documentary like that -- not someone like me coz i'm spanish (that's what was sad about it on the production end) -- some marine captain whines about afghanis being treacherous, meanwhile his side has all the material superiority in tanks, planes, everything.... what is there to bitch about? if you want a kickarse squad to fight against, afghanistan gives you everything and they run it all on a shoe-string -- goddam ungrateful marines -- maybe they should get sarah jessica parker to teach the taliban how to sing that whitney houston song 'the greatest love of all' and after that everyone could just go bowling?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w

in the photos we see we have chinese taxi drivers in sydney - female

on saturday night there was free opera -- bizet's carmen.... the pictures of my puddy really demonstrate the passion of opera -- can you imagine being a mouse and having a household creature, the cat, about 500 times your size pursuing you until your tail is severed and he devours your rear end -- that is what puddy has done and you can see that in the photo - that is similar to the passion of opera music

Thursday, January 26, 2012

hieronymus bosch - 'el bosco'


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxmqyI44WcM (hieronymus - the clouds)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hieronymus_Bosch

http://au.images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A0oGkmIJlSFPPHkAcIcL5gt.?p=hieronymous&fr=ush-globalnews&fr2=piv-web


not much is known about the dutch painter hieronymus bosch -- known as 'el bosco' in spain... most of his best paintings are found in the prado museum in madrid, not far from the atocha train bombings of 3/11/03

his relationship to the italian renaissance is unclear to this untutored student of art history however he was a dutch man and had probably nothing to do with italy... his art is most definitely worthy of your attention....... hieronymus paints hellish images of human vice and depicts their victimization through the use of animals -- notably birds and rats which devour the lusty people...

his home town is as anonymous as the man and you can find it today in holland easily enough... the dutch recently banned foreigners from their coffeeshops in amsterdam however it's not clear if the smaller towns like 'sertogenbosch where bosch is from still sell pot to aliens....


it does seem bosch, the latter englishman william blake and michelangelo (alone of all the renaissance artists) were the forerunners to today's modern artists and surrealists..... bosch is a completely unique phenomenon in this respect and outstrips all surrealists by centuries.... the three artists deal with hellish aspects and hellish imagery.... when looking at some of michelangelo's paintings, you have to wonder about his mental state to paint such things, donatello, leonardo and rafael and boticelli never painted such things that we can now recall..... likewise, can you imagine what kind of a psyche bosch had when painting his hellish depictions? did he perhaps have gruesome disturbing images flash into his consciousness while on the verge of sleep?

well this sunday at 830pm there's gonna be some kind of televisual feast, if we weren't just hallucinating it all: u.s. marines in afghanistan being interviewed by some intrepid ossie journalists..... that should be a good watch -- what a war! something for war historians to mull over in coming decades -- how about those afghanis? undefeated in war for centuries.... all mountainous like that

nadal is through to the finals of the australian open

wifey asked about if there are good beaches to stay at in vietnam... thought quickly and synaptic connection was made: YES THERE are becoz we recall a book by some u.s. 'esquire' magazine journalist who posted to vietnam and wrote about marines on a beach during r&r and two of them were actually butt-fucking on the sand.... how about that? he paints quite a picture this guy, smoking pot and watching the marines war in vietnam - at one point they even gave him a machine gun and he fired off rounds like a real soldier

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEbEqYPDD3k&feature=related (the clouds - fear the moon)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvdgBVXmEX8 (NWA)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPxL5guYmWw (silverchair - tomorrow)

this last song -- you often see the benji enjoys bashing the english ossies, the same way you hate smelling cat piss in your home.... however we never bash them in matters of music - the divynils - the radiators - none of their musical efforts are bashed by the benji ---- here we have silverchair -- this is a funny case for us, as the benji went to a different city to finish his last year of high school -- newcastle -- about 3 hours north of sydney -- otherwise benji has only ever lived in sydney in australia --- the newcastle detour took a year -- it was that year, 1994, that my fellow classmates in their freshman or sophomore year struck gold by winning some SBS videoclip competition with this good song which has been struck down as mimicking Seattle sound rock but is sound musically and original rock

in fact, interestingly, my friend fernando in spain, grandson of one of the very same generalisimo franco's top level air force commanders, expressed surprise when i told him so, he was a silverchair fan in 1996... also in spain that year, our classmate heidi (who) ended up marrying the massively famous latino artist alejandro sanz.... so if you want to marry a super-famous pop star -- make like obama: 'yes we can!'

in spain, 'la plata' (the silver) is the english 'golly gosh' (dosh): money

in other news: ryan seacrest is massively lame - we will pray for him not to be lame

now listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baLaHiBPuR4 (NOHA - tu cafe)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

dr phil/doctors/spanish news with pepa bueno

well today is australia day so happy australia day buddy! 224 years since the first boatload of english varmits and military types came out here.....

not much time - but thanks god - 7 hours sleep over dawn......

dr phil: the military strict parents actually had some excellent rules on food: don't eat junk food - they should have been commended for it.... depriving kids from reading fantasy genre books - interesting argument - had bad can it be though? unclear......

one of my students in seoul south korea around april 2006 - she drew a princess and i asked her if that was her and she said no, that's you! clearly she thought the benji was some kind of wussy or something - cute kid - she would have loved princess boy on dr phil.... the mom is doing a good job but it looks like that kid will turn out to be a flaming homo -- he'll have a sore arse - that's for sure

the doctors: horses and nuts - between the two, went for a walk to local shops and bought a pre-paid credit card for a weekend away with wifey in port stephens later this year - she wants to go to vietnam too for a week and a half..... the girl at the check-out was hot - young like 22 but very highly foxey -- please said foxey loudly right now in whisper -- that's how foxy she was! this is actually a moslem area where alot of the women wear their hair covered - however, not this girl -- if it had been covered there wouldn't be all these words here about it now - be sure.... one day wifey came home from work and stripped off her work clothes in front of the mirror while ruing the fact that some cute team leader guy at her work left -- she sure sounded sad to see him go -- clearly it meant she had been checking his arse out and very possibly his bulge too.......

spanish news: on now -- time to shower though - pepa bueno is reading the news - nice jacket.... will nadal beat federer in the semi final of the ossie open? that would probably be more difficult than winning the final -- federer is one of tennis' biggest winners since pete sampras

medical issue with the benji's hands - especially the right hand -- as a result of months of using toxic cleaners like bleaches and mold killers on a weekly basis --- a kind of deterioration and deadening of the dermis has resulted in a dead layer of skin building up - apparently under a living one -- wetting the hand would immediately show the skin as some kind of weird white color like tinea or something -- anyway -- after about 2 weeks of this situation it seems most of the dead skin will be removable fairly soon... will have to wear gloves

benji on da future

http://news.yahoo.com/soros-warns-riots-brutal-clampdowns-possible-total-economic-133218140.html;_ylt=AvYilzqwNUOx62z7EiIeNROyBhIF;_ylu=X3oDMTNqbjlobWswBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzIxNTc4ZTdmLWJjYjktM2EwOC04NjI0LTgyNmJkMTM2OTA5YgRwb3MDMwRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgNlNzQxNDgwMC00NzRiLTExZTEtYmZmZi1kOGU2MGZmNjVjYTQ-;_ylg=X3oDMTFzNDRyYzYyBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANidXNpbmVzcwRwdANzZWN0aW9ucwR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3


look above-mentioned is an article by george soros -- don't even bother reading it -- some doomsday crap about the future -- we have struck the chord many times on this blog: why all the abstractionism about global crisis this and crisis that and lack of market confidence this and EU that? what crisis? what's the problem???

why be abstract, why can't you be concrete?

forget about the 'western' media for answers -- if they speak english they only know about eulogizing having an anglo-saxon name and celebrating it -- and in the case of americans, making buddies with people of english ethnicity and ignoring everyone else.... the french and other europeans are incapable of thought... if you meet a chinese thinker ask him if his food is delicious - let him think about that

lucky for you though, you have the benji to think for you - now let's not be abstract... let's be like mr. spud in idaho, the king of potato production and say 'this isn't bullshit, this is real' -- what's real? you're gonna run out of oil and we have societies and economies built around the motor vehicle.... if the global population fans out to 12 billion people or 10 billion people, it's not gonna be much good if bill gates has eradicated polio from weak backward nations, becoz if we cannot transition smoothly from a combustion-engine-based car society to, say, an electrical car society and one that produces electricity for other consumption smoothly -- then we're gonna have a problem! what are we gonna do without our tractors, trucks, cars, 4wds, motorbikes, etc.... if there is some disruption there, that could really mess things up, otherwise everything is looking hunky dory!

don't worry, benji won't even ask you to stop abstractly speaking about 'crisis' based on investor sentiment (abstract emotion with no mention of concrete facts) -- coz it's a given you cannot even think anyway

more on how to swear in spanish

now we have the series of curses related to getting arse-fucked (tomar por culo - to take it up the arse)

vete a tomar por el puto culo (tio) -- go take it up your slut of an arse (dude)

que te den por el puto culo, con(y)o! -- may u be butt-fucked by them, !vagina! (note nobody is being called 'vagina' here, it is merely an ejaculation)

?fulano esta mosqueado? que se vaya a tomar por el culo! -- fulano is upset? well let him go get buttfucked then!

and there you have it -- the spaniards also love to curse God with any number of blasphemies which we will not even dignify here.... silly spaniards!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

moving on -- and some spanish lessons from benji

okay here we go -- poor benji only got 3 or 3.5 hours sleep between shifts -- astoundingly pathetic -- so tired

the doctors: forgot to mention importance of drinking water when explaining function of liver

dr phil: hannah and her fat mom... is the fat mom really wrong? and dr phil is right? or is dr phil just another cog in the anglo-saxon-name-will-to-power?

the view: not on this week, australian open tennis is on instead by the looks of it

tupperguddy: missed it on the weekend but now there's a wrap up show -- not sure what exactly they're talking about though

spanish news with pepa bueno: wow -- not having anyone to speak spanish too, and being more or less completely isolated from spanish and hispanic culture - watching an hour of spanish news with pepa bueno is like being a horse drinking at the river after a long run -- what is going on with the judge garzon though? why are they playing big serious judmental dudes in their juicio? is judge garzon in trouble?

now how to swear in spanish, say, like the benji, you do not fit the cookie-cutter mould in australia that america is pushing: having an anglo-saxon name --- or the mould the english-ossies are pushing: being english/irish/scottish or welsh.... and you're feeling frustrated towards american bigots like bandmembers green day, dr phil, barbara walters and any number of anglo-saxon name bearing monstrous nazis, and also mightily annoyed by the astounding stupidity and annoying-ness of the anglo-ossies (who even the british find mighty annoying, be sure)... well maybe you will want to let off some steam by trash-talking them in spanish

let's go:

me cago en la puta que te pario (i shit on the whore that gave birth to you)

vete a la mierda, hijo de puta (go to the shit! son of whore!)

me cago en tus putos muertos de mierda (i shit on your shitty whore-arse dead)

me cago en tu puta madre (i shit on your whore of a momma)

tio, eres una puta mierda, !!con(y)o!! (dude, you are a shitty whore! !vagina!)

me das asco, eres patetico, jodete! (you make me sick, you're pathetic, go fuck yourself)

anglo ossie tv: report card - f for failure or l for loser

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ (foo fighters - the pretender)

wow - no wonder the benji doggedly avoids anglo-ossie tv... channels 7, 9, 10 and the taxpayer funder ABC are so astoundingly NAZI-esque in their dogged pursuit of aryan blond-ness, blue-eyed-ness and anglo-saxon aryan master-raced-ness --- what can one say but: LOSER!

and who is guilty by association? and by allied failure? the americans... our little buddies over their with their little anglo-saxon names.... LOSER

look how the americans only want to play with australians that are from the anglo-aryan blue eyed, blonde haired - anglo-saxon master race..... poor little american losers

let's spell that out in clear, simple letters: L-O-S-E-R --- can u keep up with that bitch? do you speak english?

Monday, January 23, 2012

update

snorkelling today was better than ever -- gives a sensation of flying under the water... feeling closer to God (God in the disembodied - invisible sense) than ever down there........ movie time: the darkest hour........ some kind of russian movie but in english -- some reasonably decent special effects -- generally entertaining -- the entire movie is normally carried out under the menace of being pulverized into dust by menacing electrical aliens in moscow -- not unlike life under Stalin in the 1930s and 40s maybe! four stars! the ending was a bit sucky but what could you do? the movie had to end already... will they make a sequel? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1093357/

watch out for those 3-d movies though buddy, they sure can give you a headache! maybe sitting at the back wasn't the best.... next on list is cage movie 'ploopsie pants' -- no - cave driver? no -- rage driver? no.... ghost rider, that's it....

there was some ad on tv -- some guy has awesome math tricks that can sharpen your mind (you can also sharpen it by not watching 3-d movies which will give u a headache).... example: say you want to square a number that ends in 5, eg., what is 25 times 25? get the number(s) left of 5 and add 1 to it (2 plus 1 = 3) now multiply 3 by 2 = 6 and put this before 25... the answer is 625 --- you can do it for 255 x 255 -- just multiply 26 by 25 in your head - eg., 26 x 100 = 2600 divided by 4 equals 650 then put 25 at the end of that: 65025

his technique is called brainetics - you can google it

now one of the movies advertised at the movies looked very interesting: 'chronicles' maybe is what it's called -- it's about some kids that discover an inner power of telekinesis and are able to move objects with their minds - in the trailer they abuse the power and kill people randomly with it or joke around with it......... this is a real power and a real latent capability of all humans - although you might find that very difficult to believe...... in fact, the cia and the kgb studied these powers during the cold war in the off chance they could have an edge over the other with said powers

however, these powers were already long-abused millions of years ago -- atlantis, the supercontinent (not just a city) was covered by cataclysmic waters and now lies at the bottom of the atlantic ocean thousands of feet below the surface in part, because as mentioned earlier in this blog -- some black magicians followed the 'left hand path' became too adept and used their jedi powers for evil....... you might find that difficult to believe, again, but we hold it as a fact

furthermore, it is said that future waves of humanity, having slowly learnt their great lesson in the seeds of their dna carried over from time immemorial, and as we do today bequeath a new humanity to tomorrow with new genetic combinations -- especially noticeable in the united states of america where the genetic make-up is strongly diverse... we hold that these powers eventually will be re-awakened (don't hold your breath though, it could take hundreds of thousands of years to get it right) and when they are, people will again easily move objects with their minds.... this is only one of many powers open to people in latent form........ not least of all powers are compassion and wisdom anyway....... this movie looks like a must watch as it deals with an interesting topic

also the whore of babylon - reece witherspoon is in some valentine's day movie coming out called spy versus spy or something -- it's unclear whether this movie would insult our intelligence however it's possible -- maybe one for the tv in years to come but not the big screen

in other news, and at the risk of seeming elitist and snobby, really, tonite we saw some craig ferguson and you really have to conclude, he's not a very bright guy, is he? neither are his guests or audience.... it's really impossible to conceive that anyone from fox news channel would condescend to be on his show... you can muck-rake at those ivy league stereo-types all you like, but really, except in the case of conan o'brien who astoundingly was educated apparently at harvard (????!!!) - google it if you don't believe it! alot of these ivy league types can at least string a few sentences together containing more than one or two clauses and syntax beyond umm, dunno.....

then letterman is on tv with dana carva... the canadian guy from wayne's world... by the way, you know richard gere? remember the only thing you can remember about him? yep: he stuck a gerbal up his arse - that's all you can remember about him coz you're 30 or under... anyway -- one of the best parts of this letterman were the freight trains running by outside - they're so loud they drown out the jokes.... anyway, where were we? o'brien? letterman? we had something important to say -- oh yeah - they were talking about some old guy that was the father of late nite tv right after tv was invented and they still used valves instead of transistors and computer chips.... ed sullivan or someone like that -- you probably wouldn't know anything about him, especially if you're from some weird country like us like denmark or tongo -- anyway -- here's a deep philosophical question for you: imagine some poor chinese person who finished high school in the 1980s and has since worked in a factory for $100 a month - xian li for example - nobody knew her outside of her immediate family and some small collection of friends... later she dies recently and is remembered by her children and after about a century or two, like most people, her memory is snuffed out of all existence..... who is more important? who is BIGGER? ed sullivan or xian li? sure conan o'brien really looks up to ed sullivan and would never jerk off thinking about him while watching AFL (australian league football played in victoria state) and sinking tinnies (cold beers) -- but let's fast forward to 500 years from now? is anyone gonna remember ed sullivan? how about in 1000 years? 2000 years? in the really really big picture, why was ed sullivan more important than xian li? explain in 100 words or less

Sunday, January 22, 2012

arturo's kid

what an amazing kid arturo's kid is: 1/4 maori, 1/4 european, 1/2 mexican like arturo.... what a profound and piercing look she has in her eyes - how deep she seems to see -- only 1 year old.... what a surprise arturo seems to want to be back with the baby momma again.... arturo seems like he's not 100% sure still that's what he wants but he definitely seems to be acting that way -- we'll see what happens

Saturday, January 21, 2012

that caps off another week of hard driving buddy

4 shifts in a row:

13.5 hours straight - 5 hours sleep

13.5 hours - 5 hours sleep

11.5 hours - 9 hours

12 hours - benji time now -- week over

thanks god desi left just over a third of a bottle of wine left over.... too bad there's no coke (a-cola) home -- could have made some calimocho --

went to lidcombe hotel after work this time for a change instead of straight home -- one $5 beer and $5 for gambling -- net loss $10..... 2 people were recently struck by a ferrari in lidcombe like a few days ago - went to hospital

just down the road from here in lidcombe is benji's abode from 2nd half of 1998....

now to bashing the irish -- the irish are messed up in the head

the first thing you want to know about them: when and how did they acquire modern english as their language? most likely the english rammed it down their throats in their plodding haughty english way

anyway, there'll be no english bashing tonite - but instead, like many an englishman has done, we will bash the irish: they must be kidding buddy! the only thing they have produced of worth was u2!

james joyce? retarded homo -- oscar wilde? another retarded homo....

why do they suck so much? it isn't becoz they're celts -- on the contrary -- their entire problems consist of catholicism --- spain has probably been sneakily helping them across the water for centuries in that failed endeavor

the irish have 10 trillion issues strictly becoz of catholicism -- take it from the offspring of jesuit celts of northern spain buddy, benji knows

moving on..... my kindergarden teacher: mary..... she used to visit the alvarez crib in 1980 to give the benji private classes, hopefully she wasn't some kind of irish paedophile -- cannot remember any of her private classes... only that my mim (mother) had to bribe me to keep my mouth shut and play along and not tell her to get fucked or fuck off..... how much do you want? she would ask.... a pink one? ($20 in australia's old paper currency) .... no! a brown one! ($50) --- THEN she would give me $50 -- mary's classes would happen (still cannot remember one thing about them) and then it was nappy time -- fall asleep with a $50 clenched in my fist and mim would take it away during sleepy time --- forgot about it later --- not sure how can remember this story or if it's true

who got told to fuck off? the old guy next door neighbor that used to say 'gracias' (what did that even mean? what was he saying?) 'come here! what did you say? you come here!' click ignore buddy -- eat shit

tell my father to 'fuck off' no way buddy -- everyone else was fair game

some guy called himself romeo comes out of casino late thursday night around witching hour (real time not clock time) -- story: was up $20,000 at casino but then lost $10,000 -- name romeo, from lebanon, been in australia 13-14 years, was here 4 years then brought wifey out with the 1st kid from lebanon, had another 2 kids with her here, twins.......... have construction company here, 35 workers, big bucks, had to have another company declare bankruptcy not so long ago, 6 mill(ion) down..... business is good

while he may have been lying, such a story is not unusual for australia anyway -- the guy said he couldn't achieve shit in lebanon but out here he is some kind of guy like my father's father -- very well to do - business guy.... it's pretty cool how they assimilate arabs + moslems here and the dynamic between the english ossies and the arabs... it seems like on some level they have alot of mutual respect for eachother although they would never say so -- very unique dynamic/relationship

in america they have dearborn michigan -- with the moslems -- not sure where else...... there are loads of them in sydney

starting to respect the people here more and more - surprising - used to hate this place -- maybe was born to drive a taxi.... there are still serious issues here with the political/media structure (the power traffickers in any democracy) -- way too biased towards england (cannot even say britain or the uk but england)

TCS taxi hq is selling cabbies movie coupons for $11 a pop -- that's a huge savings where movie tickets can run almost $20 in sydney -- that means all coming 3d blockbusters will come at a good price, the cage movie, the one in russia darkest hour and the other one lurking out there... won't be watching sherlock holmes though -gayer than aids - shame on you robert downey junior

Friday, January 20, 2012

the view

with the view, i'm drawing a line... if barbara walters doesn't flirt with me directly during next week's shows, we're blocking the view: it's that simple...... she can wear a pink brooch or something like that and play with her left ear coquettishly and make bat her eyelashes a little..... if it doesn't look like she's flirting with the benji, the view is getting blacklisted, call it blackmail

Thursday, January 19, 2012

wow... there really is an akmed! and a stable!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvCvsRp5ho (bon jovi - dead or alive)

well... turn the tv down, listen to bon jovi and watch your compatriot nadal kick some arse in the australian open.... where's dr phil? where are the doctors (another u.s. tv show)... where's the view (with barbara walters?) -- why aren't they on tv now? normally they are -- between shifts....

who is akmed? it turns out he's really an afghani - arrived in australia 2000... told him recently: you know that old guy (the old guy with the kid he had so late in life called dante) -- i used to drive for him in 1999 out of five dock suburb too.... he operates out of our base/warehouse/stable... but me and akmed drive for some other guy there..... when benji was driving in 1999 - akmed had never been here and had probably only ever lived in afghanistan by that point

now let's see: in early 2002 - benji was living in paris and made the acquaintance of one of this high-faluting 'acting teachers' there -- did a couple of classes with him -- this guy boasted of having 'taught' angelina jolie and tom selleck from tv's 'magnum' and christopher walken and all kinds of people (bob mcandrew) -- i figured i'd return to australia around mid 2002 and save up some quick dollars there and then go and study with bob in nyc, as per his invitation -- being around 25 years old at the time

in the end, the stay in australia took 18 months (a dean months) and then was followed by another year in china before going to nyc -- me and bob met up once at his studio but i didn't pursue the classes with him.... almost a year later, in the most obscure, cluttered, crowded and strange chinese suburb and living circumstances, one of bob's movies came up on chinese tv - some chinese movie bob had a credit for... anyway, that's all a bunch of crap, the main important point is as follows:

not long after returning to mt druitt from paris.... the benji made a video collage: first there was some french classical music composer explaining how to play beethoven or some crap -- talking about how 'God' (the very one and the same) had 'arrived at the door' - 'arrivee'.... then there was a news story about some u.s. warplane fighter pilots that were too tired and taking 'go' pills (u.s. airforce sanctioned speed pills to stay awake) - apparently maybe their long shifts were making them make mistakes: cut to u.s. military footage from an f15 eagle and real voiceover from the pilot:

'ok, i've got [inaudible] coming at me' (there was some blob on the road, it could have been enemy afghanis or talibanis with heat-seeking missiles - this was after 9/11 but before the iraq invasion)

news-reader: they were wondering if it was the right decision to shoot

cut to coffin getting pooped out of a military transporter plane draped in a canadian flag

new-reader: 'it was not' (the right decision)

friendly fire death....

cut to the two pilots walking out of some court-marshall in the states, found innocent, with goofy smiles on their faces

if you ever come to australia, stick with watching your news on sbs and forget about the anglo-aparteidists news channels

stay tuned for future potential critiques on dr. phil, doctors, and the view -- after that we got TMZ papparrazzi channel and then it's time to shower and leave for work ---

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

end of akmed and the killer vampire horse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78uoLiyNiJ0 (pussycat dolls - don't cha)

that story is over - what are the conclusions?

i) there aren't enough/any videos with sheilas wearing minimal 1/2 inch pvc black electrical tape covered by scanty transparent negligees and dripping wet

ii) even a horror movie centre-ing around killer vampire horses would be better than keanu's forays into the occult in 'constantine' and also in that movie he made with al pacino, 'the devil's advocate' (or whatever it was called) -- this isn't to diss keanu who has made a lot of great movies (except those two mentioned which totally sucked)

iii) iranians suck too/hug'n'poopsin's a fox

moving on... dave letterman.... recently he interviewed the mentalist and asked him how he was gonna win his cigarrettes back -- then he goes on to speculate whether jesus (THE jesus, mind you, not some mexican wetback jesus) would go to him first or leno if doing late night....... where can you even begin with that question?

is it blasphemy? no -- is it retarded? yes.... why?

a) first of all, let's pretend the whole doctrine of resurrection wasn't 10 trillion times more implausible than the book of mormon and that jesus actually had his old body back (from 1900+ years ago) to go stomping around in...

why would he want to shake hands with jimmy fallon or jimmy kimmel if they don't even bother to wash them between jerking off and greeting guests? what if someone had a pubic hair stuck in their teeth? do leno and letterman even shower? what if craig ferguson tried to have sex with him?

conclusion: jesus is NOT going to be on late night tv... better just to dig up any old jesus from mexico -- there are literally thousands of them...... and how come late night tv people like that never interview generals and concert pianists? and important scientists? the only scientists they get are from the big bang theory and they aren't even real scientists? it's always the same crummy parade of rotball celebrities with their two-bit movies and dopey tv shows...... or some rotball from england.... get real letterman you silly pants!

Monday, January 16, 2012

akmed and the killer vampire horse (continued)

well moments later and days before the crime scene investigation people arrived (the latter being delayed by a thick blanketing of snow that hid the gruesome discovery from park rangers for days), akmed rode up early the next morning, after taking the horse out the night before and approached the stables at a bouncing canter...

'akmed, you're late, we said to have the horse back before sundown yesterday,' said one of the stable workers firmly...

'oh really? sorry i forgot...' said akmed truthfully... actually he just didn't listen - didn't know how to

the two stable workers looked at eachother with a mix of worry and tentative relief... if akmed had returned okay then maybe no vampire-ism had occurred....

'ok akmed... just lead her back to her stable and we'll be there in a moment...' said stable worker 2

'when are we gonna start doing our videoshoot?' asked akmed

'in a moment... just bring her back to her stall...'

moments later... the horse was penned again and akmed awaited outside her stall as the two stable workers arrived

'ok with one press of a button, the horsey is going up, you akmed, step into the stall when the next platform arrives...'

and so saying, the floor the horse stood on began to rise until the horse was no longer visible to akmed and the two stable workers and another platform came up from the floor and akmed opened again the stable door and stepped onto the platform

'ok now, don't hurt yourself, just be sure to get out on the next level up...'

akmed did as he was told but the going was slow -- it took at least five minutes for him to be able to open a door and move on... as he did so, he noticed he was in a well-lit, high-celinged room that had a minimal and arty feel to it... there were a number of people about, one of them was sweeping some stray hay towards akmed's elevator platform, however, most of the large floor, was dark wooden and shiny and at least 30 metres by 30 metres in dimension, massive... towards one wall there were a small number of cubicles which had dressing rooms, kitchenettes, and so forth...

'you're the director for this video shoot?' said the man with the broom

'ah yes,' said akmed, quickly remembering his false persona, 'that's right, akmed - master of the sexy rain shoot...'

'ok well why don't you grab yourself a coffee... the talent will be here in a moment and we'll want to get started soon after...'

so akmed walked to where the man gestured and some very bright flood lights came on, illuminating the interior... some men rolled in some kind of strange looking machine which was the rainmaker which would cause stimulated rain to occur for the videoshoot.... others busied themselves with plastic tarps to catch and re-direct the water and still others were busying themselves with big digital cameras and banks of small tv screens... headphones, cables and such like

as akmed fixed his coffee... a handsome young woman walked into the kitchen... akmed looked at a poster on the wall, signed 'hug'n'poopsin'... and then looked at the woman, it was the same woman

'hi, you must be hug'n'poopsin,' said akmed courteously...

'hi, who are you?'

'i'm the technical director for this shoot -- becoz of the rain and all that...' said akmed

'oh... that's cool... say - you smell like horse...' said hug'n'poopsin surprised

'well yes, i've just been out doing some riding, you know, bits and reins,'.... said akmed

'was it a nice horse?' asked hug'n'poopsin nnocently, she was not aware of her own condition, in fact, in the year 2019, all movie, tv stars, sundry celebrities and divas were transformed into horses on a weekly basis, whenever they weren't doing concerts, tv commercials, recordings, performances and suchlike, they were merely transformed into horses and kept in stables... this made life happier for everybody, even the paparazzi... however, the procedure involved left the celebrities' memories blank as to their constant conversion.... no-one felt it affected their art in any wise, as by 2019, there were no longer artists who created their own material.... Akmed, for his part, being an Iranian was unfashionably behind the times, and therefore unaware of the unnatural, devilish progression of the Great Satan and knew nothing of 'horse-man-ship'

'so how is your career going?' asked Akmed

his note seemed refreshingly different and also sincere, so hug'n'poopsin opened up to him a little: 'well, you know, i'm kind of getting sick of the phoni-ness of this business, i'm thinking about getting into politics?'

'you mean you're going to run for Ayatollah?' said Akmed, temporarily forgetting his spy persona and relieving his Irain-ian-ness

'very funny,' said hug'n'poopsin, 'actually i'm thinking about running for mayor in a small town...'

'running for mayor?' said Akmed, 'very interesting'...

outside the kitchen, in the main room, the help talked... one guy sang some beyonce song sounding like cartman from south park, 'can you keep up... baby boy... make me hoarse'... and farted..... another guy said: 'this new guy, akmed, there's no way he could do a worse job than the people that did -constantine- have you seen that movie? if that movie were a dog people would take it to the middle of a forest and dump it there abandoned... what a failure...'.............'what's this bitch gonna be wearing?' another guy asked... 'i heard she's gonna be wearing a little black 1/2 inch thick electrical tape - not much - covered by a see through negligee - in the rain...' offered another... 'damn!' offered yet another

csi: benji-land

horatio and the bartender guy from 80s sitcom 'cheers', dan springfield (also singer of that song 'borne in the usa', sit in csi office:

horatio: that was field office in baltimore, they got a biter

dan springfield: a biter?

horatio: animal death

dan springfield: what kind of animal?

horatio: a horse... but with vampire fangs...

cue csi theme music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WseRJMQf1U (csi theme music)

approaching crime scene...

horatio: so ever since that guy in florida killed his wife and made it look like a shark attack, we always run these tests

dan springfield: how did they know it wasn't a real shark, was she a smoker?

horatio: hardly, not that sharks care about that, it was an accidental finding, the shark's dna revealed the shark must have been dead at the time of the 'attack'

dan springfield: so he mauled her body with shark jaws and dropped it in the ocean

horatio: on a fishing trip during their 25th wedding anniversary

dan springfield: wow

horatio: he almost got away with it too.... now carbon testing of the animal's teeth in any mauling death is standard procedure

Sunday, January 15, 2012

we now return you to your regular programming... in a sec

well there was an interesting jack nicholson movie on tonite -- from the year 2000 'the pledge'........ 3.5 stars or more....... also some cop detective show set in memphis - so they all have those funny accents.... also interesting.......

now we return to the campsite with the vampire horse:

one of the campers lay on his back and scrabbled his feet to move back, the vampire horse upon him, his heart beating inside his chest, he would suffer a heart attack... a mere moment after a disembodied voice, maybe the very Devil Himself, said: 'welcome to the lair of the damned!' in a terrifying hiss... then the vampire horse bent its neck down and bit his throat, but by this time the poor man was already dead from a heart attack, so that later, when the forensic police arrived to carry out investigations, because of the snowfall that was to come, while they could not deduce footprints or hoof-prints, nor any number of important clues, they could deduce the lack of bleeding from his dead corpse was caused by dying prior to the gashes the vampire horse inflicted....

another victim was found with their hands frozen to the innards, in a vain attempt to keep their own gushing intestines from pouring out after the vampire horse ripped the skin clean off their stomachs...

meanwhile Akmed slept through it all, he dreamed he was back in Iran and a psychiatrist there was psycho-analyzing him, telling him that some dream he had had about a horse represented some kind of passion he felt for some woman, and that the horse's act of vampirism and slaying in fact represented his own propensity for too much television and how the vampire horse was in fact merely a symbol of his own psyche, overloaded on too much television information/impressions (the blood and flesh of the victims).... still, surprisingly, when Akmed woke up from this strange dream in the morning, he forgot about it, and looked up at his pretty horse and she was all clean of the blood of her real-life feasting the night before as she had washed in the river... in fact the two of them, Akmed and the horse, were unable to remember neither their dream (in the case of Akmed) and the fact, in the case of the horse, of the vampire slayings... when Akmed arose, a light dusting of snow began to fall, and as he left the site to return the horse to its stable, he did not pass by the dead victims of the vampire horse and so was blissfully unaware of the terrible event....

Saturday, January 14, 2012

today's tupperguddy games

before we return to our regular programming of 'killer vampire horse and iranian surfers'.... we'll cover today's two tupperguddy games that were on tv.... we don't know if they were really recently played live in the real world or if they are repeats from a year ago, nor do we care.... apparently the superbowl is played in february and if these games mentioned really were played recently, it appears some of them are considered 'off-season' while others are 'play-offs' -- not sure how all this works

the new orlean saints, from last weeks game... with quarterback drew brees -- rated number 3 in the league played the san francisco 49ers... they are probably called the 49ers in reference to a goldrush that ocurred in northern california in 1849 that led to a great expansion of immigrants and local population, partially leading to the mystique of the 'wild west' and 'westerns' where all gun-owners made the law.... we only caught the final quarter however it was immensely entertaining.... the two teams leap-frogged eachother in scoring so that first one led then improbably another led and so on until finally san francisco won at home, it seemed... very exciting quarter

the next game, we only caught some parts of, having other things to do, featured the two famous quarterbacks tebow for denver broncos and brady for new england patriots who are considered the two best quarterbacks in the league, with brady possibly being considered the best and having the best statistics.... it's unclear where the new england patriots would have their home field as new england is not actually an american state but refers to a traditional conglomeration of states that were once known as new england and which are found in the north-eastern sections of the usa north of new york state: possibly massachussettes, new hampshire and so forth.... normally a football team refers to a city, but in this case, no

anyway, whether because of subconscious preconceptions or no, it did seem that brady threw pretty well, however tebow did not seem at all to live up to the hype surrounding his existence in this particular game

of interest to novices to the sport are some of the details of the game, for example, if a player receiving the ball is encountered by three tacklers who are sure to tackle him, they will no longer be satisfied by tackling him but will seek to force the ball from his possession....

this game featured more running by both quarterbacks before throwing the ball and a player can be fouled for being tackled with excessive/unnecessary force

this is a good time to touch on the topic of brain damage and concussion.... we recall one time, in early 1999, trying to buy some marijuana from an aboriginal ghetto in sydney... our date stayed behind in the taxi and when trouble ensued she said the taxi driver showed her how he kept a gun hidden under his seat... however, he didn't use it... the trouble was the sellers, some teenage aboriginal kids were trying to sell common grass as weed... when challenged one of them responded by hitting me with a 6 inch diameter, 1 yard long log.... unfortunately, we were too slow and stupid to avoid it, he had brought it down from way above his head, overhand, captain caveman style... and connected completely

my head immediately began to gush blood and i left.... a policeman was waiting and decided to not get involved as i admitted my reasons for being there... my date and i rode home in an ambulance.... no point fooling around after that, straight to sleep... ouch....... this was easily the hardest i have ever been hit in my life... without comparison... the concussion caused pain and depression for the next day and was still notable for a day or two afterwards......

in conjunction with tremendous abuse of marijuana and alcohol, there is no question this concussion caused brain damage......

stay tuned for our next instalment of 'killer vampire horse and iranian surfers'

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

from tupperguddy to tehran

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MWFcfGi8QQ&ob=av2e (jessica simpson, take my breath away)

tehran, persia, president's palace...

various muftis, governmental politician types and military advisers attend a hookah smoking belly dancing party with various tvs and suchlike...

obviously not everyone agreed with eachother or held the same ideas in the iranian leadership... however, all and sundry were able to hold the peace enough to enjoy a smoke and some tea and watch the belly dancers and the tv screens and chit-chat....

'have you seen this movie before?' asked the minister for defence...

'oh my god! i LOVE that movie,' responded the minister for education, breathing smoke, 'leonardo de caprio is so under-rated in terms of his talent as a filmmaker -- he's not just a pretty face and an actor you know!'

'watch this bit, it's the gnarliest part dude,' said the minister for foreign affairs, 'the adopted russian girl is actually some crazy demented ukranian woman that goes totally psycho on the entire family'....

'dude shut up! you're gonna spoil it for everyone said the ayatollah himself, 'half the people here have not even seen this movie, what's wrong with you man! go and lash yourself a few times or something!'

meanwhile, the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE) chose an opportune moment to sidle up to the president, who everyday, contended with ever more fractured and disjointed factions,

'dude are we still gonna catch some waves tomorrow?'

'if the swell is good, yeah, but what's the point if the waves or under 1 metre?'

'okay cool,' said the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes... 'look dude, if we don't get a chance to surf tomorrow, wanted to mention to you right now... we need to back way off on our foreign policy messages and nuclear stance, if the americans eventually start a campaign of "limited" strategic bombing, it's not gonna be pretty, the entire leadership will dissappear and chaos will prevail, as happened in iraq and as has happened since in syria, egypt and libya...'

'what are you saying?'

'it's not cool, where we are going with all this, now the westerners are saying we're killing one of our own, saying he was a cia spy, better just to kill the slut hug'n'poopsin, deader than fried chicken mr. president...'

'kill her arse dead?'

'like a motherfucker, we can have a roast, stick an apple in her mouth and roast her over a slow fire...'

'what about the nuclear issue?'

'if we don't allow inspectors, chaos will ensue, it is pointless to issue hollow threats to the u.s. military...'

'let's first see how the europeans will get by without our oil...'

'mr. president, how long will be play this game of chicken? and what can be won by it?'


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a49McFOFp0 (the beach boys - california girls)

next day at the beach:

the president of iran and the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE) go surfing

president of iran: i swear to allah, if that guy drops in on me one more time i'm gonna order his assassination!

the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): well at least there ARE waves to drop on in

president of iran: look about what you were saying yesterday, you have no idea, do you think i haven't been studying up on my austin powers, dr. evil villain lair routine? do you think i'm just dotting the countryside with factories that can be spotted from space that the Israelis can hit?



the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): the Israelis! those in-bred kikes!? don't make me laugh man.... i'm talking about the americans... you haven't heard of HECTOR?

president of iran: what's HECTOR?


the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): HECTOR is a secret american weapon, it gets deployed by one of those big giant arse B2 stealth bombers, not the iddy biddy f117s -- then a parachute opens, as it hits the ground its nose starts drilling into the ground, it drills up to 10km deep and then explodes: bam! complete annihilation, say goodbye to your cookie factory under the ground

president of iran: that's bullshit -- HECTOR -- who told you that shit?


the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): just wait and see, just wait and see... anything you can hide, they can bore deeper, anything you can bury, they'll be boring more!


president of iran: no they won't


the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): yes they will


president of iran: no they can't


the minister for the complete annihilation, no kidding man, we're really gonna wipe you off the face of the earth with nukes (CANKMWRGWYOTFOTE): yes they can!

afterwards, as the sun set... the surfing leaders of iran chilled and drink some beer and smoked some blunts next to a little campfire roasting a boar on a skewer...

as the iranian surfing leadership hung out their wetsuits and dried behind their ears... the president asked the minister for complete annihilation what he was talking about the day before, about killing some american woman...

'yeah, yeah, remember how we got the sex in the city woman here? we killed her, had a robot skeleton covered in cloned skin, what was her name? sarah jessica parker? and we sent her back to america, a soulless robot under the control of our scientists -- and she went on to win more awards than ever and be recognized for her humanity for the first time in her life...'

'yeah wasn't that hilarious!' someone piped in...

'so what's the plan for the hug'n'poopsin woman,' someone else asked...

'well we send in akmed under the guise of one of those mtv video producer types who is an expert in making women look sexy in the rain for videoshoots... he brings her back here, and we kill her arse dead, maybe torture her a little first...'

'why not just kidnap her?'

'kidnapping her would be stooping down to the level of the cia, just putting a hockey mask on and scooping unsuspecting irrelevants of the street and bundling them into a private jet, we're iranians, we're better than that...'

'so how's akmed meant to seduce this woman?'

'well she's pretty busy, apparently she's some kind of fashion mogul -- she puts her label on some old t-shirt and half of indonesia is suddenly busy in a sweatshop making her millions -- it's really something else...'

'does she have any talent?'

'she can definitely sing, not sure if she acts or no...'

'how will akmed win her over?'

'same way he gets them all, just pull their hair a little, spit on them, rough them up, call them fat, and before you know it they're crocheting "please make this more artistic" with an arrow pointed at their fanny...'


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWnmCu3U09w (2001, a space Odyssey theme music)

cut to image of jumbo jet landing, welcome to LAX sign at airport...

cut to sign outside MTV DIVA STABLES

inside MTV DIVA STABLES - Akmed approaches:

stable worker 1 talks to stable worker 2 while leaning on a broom: '...so this whore says...'

Akmed: ahem, excuse me... i'm here to take delivery of poopsin, hug'n' - for a video shoot in the rain

sw1: oh ok, come this way sir... mr.. what's your name?

akmed: akmed

sw1: oh yeah, i have that on my list here, she's at the end of the aisle here... let's go for a walk

sw2: 'my hugginy is killing me!' look akmed, it's hugginy downs, why did she ever take that tight green body suit off and stop doing those dance moves in her videoclips


in the first stall, a little filly reared and snorted, expelling air from it's lips rapidly... the threesome walked on some more and came to a zebra wearing a smurf hat

sw1: that's lady hugginy akmed

then there was a little black horse with a nosebag full of white wheat chaff

akmed: wheat is white?

sw2: oh that's sherbert... hugginy pony loves sherbert -- she's an over-achiever

akmed: what's that horse with the little calf?

sw1: that's huggy town ho-rse, and look there, see that crazy horse running around in circles, it's horsey hugginy

sw2: and that horse shitting in its sleep there, that's mule huggins!

akmed: and that one lying down on the floor there, is it dead?

sw1: almost, that's not actually a diva, it's comedian huggimi-down, she'll be used for glue and dogfood just as soon as she croaks in a few more moments, finally she'll be useful for something, if not in life then at least in death

akmed: and that old horse there?

sw2: that's the little old horse that kept on giving, it's old nag hugginy!

they walked by another horse that lazily swished at a fly with its tail, the sign on its stall said 'aguilera'...

akmed: five horses to a stall??

sw2: that's the pussycat dolls

finally they reached the final stall

sw1: ok akmed, here's your horse, sign here, here and here...

sw2: say akmed, you don't seem like you're from these parts, where are you from?

akmed: ah... western samoa... virginia...

sw1: western samoa virginia -- ok

sw2: that's a fine looking horse isn't it akmed?

akmed: it sure is dude, has it been fed? anything i need to know?

sw1: 2 things - take it out for a ride, but whatever you do, be back before the sun goes down, this horse will turn into a bloodthirsty vampire horse if the moonlight hits it

akmed: what's the 2nd thing?

sw2: don't have sex with it, it's a horse

and with that, akmed leaped astride the horse and kicked it a little and sped out of the stables and galloped across the meadow, soon the horse galloped along the beach, the foaming waves breaking against its hooves and spraying water through rainbows that glinted with the heaving, crashing sounds of the waves

after some hours of riding, Akmed decided to set up camp, conveniently, at a camp site.... he had forgotten completely about the instructions about vampirism and what not and merely built a campfire, without bothering to make the acquaintances of his new neighbors at the campsite.... he stretched his legs out before him and laid back comfortably on his bags.... what with the jetlag and what not... it wasn't long before, as the sun set, he fell asleep...

as you will recall, this horse was a vampire horse and would turn into a vampire as soon as the moonlight hit it... and that is indeed what happened, once the moon lazily rose and showed her dead, bloated body on the horizon.... merely reflecting the living sun's rays as she swerved in her dead orbit around the Earth....

nevertheless, vampire rules being as they are, not subject to occasional deviation, the horse, which had been lazily standing around chewing grass without the advantage of 3 extra stomachs like the cow, was struck by the moonlight and shortly thereafter, its eyes turned red and the breath extruded from its nostrils took on a steamier turn, somehow, its vegetarian chompers took on a more canine aspect.... it snorted, and breathed somehow heavier, and before long it sought its prey in the sleepy campsite....

'can you stop nagging me already?'

'but why don't you do it already?' argued the old campers...

snort... whinny.... brrrruuppppp lips running together expelling sound... the vampire horse neighed again and stood on its hind legs.... the campers were surprised... a bone-chilling scream pierced the night and the vampire horse feasted on blood..... and then again

some sleepers stirred in the campsite... came to with faggots ablaze.... snort.... hoof-falls on the dewy grass.... neigh.... chomp -- screams.... more dead people.....

again and again the story repeated itself.... a campsite full of now screaming, now dead souls and a meat-eating vampire horse easily overcoming its prey....

Akmed slept through it all and the sun span her course around her own goals while the moon rose and set and the dawn broke... the horse bathed in the river and washed the blood from itself and the vampirism passed.... the morning sun broke Akmed's morning sleep

Monday, January 9, 2012

of tupperguddy and australian sports with similar shaped balls

in australia those of us from rugby playing states probably do not even know the rules of the states that play afl which is a completely different sport that involves bouncing the oval shaped ball and punting it to people in a certain way and alot of big kicks of it -- it is played on a cricket ground so much bigger than a soccer field... likewise, those afl playing states have no interest in rugby and may not even know the rules of it in many cases

with tupperguddy, really, the thing that stands out now of those games recently mentioned was a block done by one of the players, it wasn't really a tackle in the sense of using arms to grapple... a linesman saw an opposing linesman coming across fast and he parked in his way and squatted raising a shoulder at him -- a very effective stop -- it seems very unique

furthermore, according to our limited understanding of the sport, it seems like that if a team were foolish enough to field a five-foot tall, very light player, that an opposing player would be able to legally grab them by the ankles, whirl them around a few times, gathering momentum, and then release them flying into a sideline coach and this would be a valid play

IT also seems the players wearing dark colors are at an unfair advantage as it is harder to see the ball as compared to when carried by players wearing white colored jerseys

Saturday, January 7, 2012

next game

10 hours after getting home from work at 330am and still haven't slept -- must sleep soon -- next game is not of interest: new orleans saints vs. detriot lions in new orleans becoz i dream of jeannie was on -- two excellent episodes: 1) jeanni has her powers removed a week and is discovered by bellows wife - a scandal ensues - hilarious
2) roger bets master that all women are bad and jeannie will fall for another guy -- master disguises himself as a londoner and puts on a london accent and woos jeannie... bellows loses again -- highest level entertainment

you can only have 4 downs and then some yards like 10 max or 5 or 1 or whatever -- maybe 7 too.... or some downs and goal instead of 1 or 10 or whatever

nfl players without wives or steady girlfriends (only 1) should spend some money of having women dress up like jeannie and call them master... anyone with enough money should do that... people without enough money should strive to achieve that through other means

post game analysis

after returning from last posting the score had gone from 7-7 to like 14-10.....a touchdown is 6 points and a converstion goal is 1 point....... maybe a field goal during play is 3 points

the quarterback dolton - maybe mispelled - seemed to collapse a little bit as the game progressed... maybe that is because the defenders weren't protecting him properly -- too hard to tell as the plays move so quickly it's sometimes hard to even see who's holding the ball........ the texans quarterback seemed invisible the entire game - couldn't even get his name til after it finished... he must have played well though coz they won 34 to 10 or something like that...... maybe the dark blue colors are hard to distinguish......... also they were having home crowd advantage

some player did a jumping squat jump over a tackler that ended up running under him - that was pretty impressive...... texans player 99 did a pretty good intercept and scored a touchdown.... two texans players did pretty good blocks volleyball style with two defenders in their faces thwarting one of dolton's passes.........

maybe the forward players in the scrimmage are the only ones that can smash/tackle eachother at will - it seems some of the receiving players cannot be tackled/interfered with until they catch the ball - unclear

the local programming has way too many commercials -- forced to watch love boat or 7th heaven which is just propaganda for suicide bombers (the latter) - love boat is still pretty cool

don't have a tv guide so not sure when next full game will be shown -- also good to watch the nfl wrap-up or whatever it's called people chit-chatting in their studio - today they had gnarls barkley.......... again unclear when those little snippets are televised (without full games) -- so whatever

oh yeah, there's a promising hollywood show being advertised as 'new' - not sure how old it really is -- maybe just new to australia -- some army dude called brodie -- is he a hero or a traitor? all eyes have to be on him when he gets off the plane -- would definitely watch that show whenever it's on --- one tree hill also plays but it is more suicide bomber propaganda

cincinatti bengals vs houston texans

almost end of 2nd quarter / 7 all -- unclear on what constitutes a legal hit -- texans quin is fouled for wrapping an arm around a forward player waiting to receive a pass... how come he cannot just smash him into the ground before he catches the ball? why is he fouled for just reaching his arm in and stopping him from being able to catch it properly?

how come the players cannot just smash anyone they want to anyhow? it seems sometimes they can but not all the time

gwen stefani, outkast and led zepp, doors





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdcObAQ5OOM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgvGjAhvIw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKg4g9zMeHI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-wgIht3roA

moron tupperguddy... more on tupperguddy





saw this advert in bulgaria in 2008 or early 2009 over the internet while living in the 'druzhva' neighbourhood of sofia....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC1d2JKhMCY&feature=relmfu

desi and i had a nice apartment at that stage, a rarity in our 2 year relationship there as often we did not even live together and she spent four months in san francisco while i withered suffering in sofia..... not sure if it's the same guy, larry fitzgerald, but it does seem that for some reason, although never actively seeking to watch football much, there has been a player with dreadlocks sticking out of his helmet... maybe it is the same guy or maybe there are many in the nfl with them.... recently in recently aforementioned dolphins jets game it seemed there was a dolphins player with dreads... maybe it's the same guy

there's nothing greater than finishing three back to back 12 hour shifts in a taxi, even if they weren't the most lucrative, having insomnia, drinking a little vodka and orange, watching the occasional freak walk by here in auburn as a beautiful sunrise emerges (a crazy friend on crazy meds recently offered the opinion that 'god is such a show off' - is he though?), and not having to worry about working the next day, only catching zz's and sleeping -- at the beach, before enjoying a snorkel

being happy is awesome.... living in bulgaria in 2007/2008/early 2009 was most definitely not happy - try angry, but it was challenging.... it's amazing how something that is krpytonite for you, e.g., bulgaria, can be so challenging and how you can learn from something that smashes you to pieces..... yesterday there was such a great quote from agni-yoga.org.... better to drink from a full cup of misery than live a live of half-sadness.... that is so true...... becoz, if you take the bull by the horns, and wrestle the dragon, and prevail... you will be happy...... bulgaria for me, my two years there were nothing short of an unhappy torment.... it's still baffling to think that the first month spent there, preceeding the following two years spent there, some 2.5 years beforehand, were NOT miserable......... it is still something to marvel at that the bulgarians (and presumably all of the former russian led eastern europeans can survive such a world, for so many years)

that's why the elton john song says: some things look better baby, just passing through

anyway, moving on......... some half year before moving to bulgaria to begin what would unexpectedly and quickly become the challenging hell and the demon to be overcome and mastered.... we found ourself, after a week in the blessed land, southern california... in hollywood in LA... we found ourself in sedona arizona... there, after a time, we found a job at a 'rite aid' shop.... 'rite aid' being a chain of shops in the u.s.a that is devoted to selling things like fishing gear, nappies, condoms, tampax, t-shirts and various sundry things...

shortly before arriving in arizona from LA -- in LA -- arriving from a few months in seoul and some more months in china before that, it turned out that a problem we'd thought we'd mastered: pot addiction and general usage, after about 3 years of not having touched the stuff, the most appropriate thing, the very first nite in california, after arriving from seoul, seemed to be to smoke it up... a week later, my newly bought nissan maxima was driven across the california desert and stolen from me by some well meaning punk pothead 20 year olds in sedona arizona...

there too it seemed good to disdain the three year period of non-smoking and smoke some more... the benji was never shy about occasionally and brazenly smoking other people's pot stashes without their permission (stealing) and this too was true in sedona, for a former sedona rite-aid worker (we never actually worked at the shop concurrently) - some guy that described how he saw his parents gunned down before him as a little kid - -like a toddler... he said clearly: if you steal my pot again, we're gonna box

anyway... didn't smoke much there, just, when it seemed it was time to leave, after six weeks or so, went to the highway to hitch a ride and smoked a little more with the driver that manifested shortly after setting up shop by the dusty road....

back in LA, another few months there, didn't smoke much

anyway, at rite-aid, in arizona, there was a girl there, sara.... some kind of german descendent... very pretty -- a virgo.... tried prodding her a little towards the benji but said she had a boyfriend, was too young to hassle anyway...... later in LA, the 'we're gonna box' guy said that she'd died, mixed issue of her thyroid problem and also drug usage like crystal meth.......

what a waste..... what a beautiful young woman she was..... dead at 20 or 21...... just gorgeous --- it seemed to make a strong impression........ pity cannot call 'we're gonna box' guy out of the blue one of these days and say 'hi' -- maybe his number is still around

sure is a different galaxy over in them parts

anyway fleetwood mac kicks arse - mad props to michael jackson too........ larry fitzgerald is tupperguddy daddy

now if the benji can learn about tupperguddy - blocking - rushing yards, all that shit... then surely you can at least learn how to say the days of the week in chinese!

MONDAY --- shin - chee yi (1)
tuesday -- shin - chee er (pronounced 'are' 2)
WEDNESDAY - shin - chee san (3)
thursday -- shin - chee si (pronounced 'sir' but without the 'r' at the end - like an aussie would say it - 4)

FRIDAY -- shin - chee wu (chinese has four tone - up/down/up+down/flat -- wu is the 3rd type -- 5)

saturday -- shin - chee liu (lee-yoo -- 6)

SUNDAY -- shin - chee qi (chi like chin with no 'n' 7)

don't worry if ur pronunciation isn't the best -- with 1 billion mandarin speakers in china -- there are a lot of regional variations - don't take shit

china is really awesome -- just like fleetwood mac is really awesome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvAd6c3xHzU

strangely, they love 'the carpenters' over there, but not fleetwood mac -- they are a little odd

have arrest

phew -- work week is over thanks god... might work monday though -- first since lady gaga monday -- maybe

mystery channels are back up again --- but only charmed and some old time movies are on now -- no gma or today show and no tupperguddy

a dean does not equal a teen or eighteen

Friday, January 6, 2012

communications breakdown!

dammit -- got home this morning 330am after a shift that equalled the benji getting somehow raped and turn on the tv -- tupperguddy is on -- finally! dolphins vs jets...... but then! during a break or something -- went to change the channel and all the channels we'd been getting free mysteriously dissappeared! and we were left with only the basic 5 (failed since their birth) hollow pathetic australian channels: 7,9,10,sbs,abc

this is good becoz it means no wasting long hours in front of the tv.... however there is no: knight rider, gma, today show, tupperguddy, nothing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZNkLyQSZVg

Thursday, January 5, 2012

good morning america vs. nbc today

well it turns out upon arriving home from work at around 330am or 4am there is good morning america and nbc today to choose from... roker is still there after all these years and he's lost a lot of weight.... driving a taxi -- it's hard to get motivated to move around and keep weight off.... especially after not being able to sleep more than 6 hours sometimes... roker should have a good nest egg built up by this time unless he has a chronic gambling/partying problem

in general, both shows have a similar line-up... fox news was preferable becoz it's mostly devoted to commentary whereas these morning news shows are more a pastiche of the usual insane news items like random shootings and feel-good stuff like alligator zoo-keepers....... the best thing by far was on nbc today -- and it was shown as repeat at around 1030am here so saw it after sleep.... they had one woman talking to two women and a guy -- all on big stools, about creepy or cute: policeman writes ticket and asks for date and suchlike -- that was highly entertaining...... some of it just is different target audience stuff

on another channel they had some english news about some congolese family in london that had subjected kids to torture coz they thought they were practicing witchcraft -- it raised interesting questions about the limits of our science of psychiatry and our western legal system....... becoz these people were from such an alien culture and believed deeply in witchcraft

in fact, africa has a long history of witchcraft and the writer actually believes not all of it is superstition, some of it is actually bona-fide black magic..... which is to say that african black magicians can make rain and perform other acts of black magic and it's all real - it's not just shizophrenia......... it will be interesting to see africa's evolution as the world evolves and how africa will integrate with the rest of the world...... africans are already world leaders in elementary rhythm and body movement

other unusual cases in the media lately, of note, regarding crime and mental illness was the mass-murdering norwegian guy --- in america and china, a guy like this gets the death penalty and there is no speculating he was mentally ill and therefore had diminished responsibility... in a great many western democracies -- there is so much 'liberalism' that glaring hypocrisies arise, like calling the norwegian guy a schizo -- however, psychiatrists will generally affirm that chronic psychosis sufferers are unable to organize and carry out detailed and intricate plans like the norwegian guy did.... therefore while the norwegian guy was a nut and a socio-path, he technically could not have been suffering from severe psychosis elsewise he could not have been so meticulous... generally meticulous killers like this are considered monsters.....

there is still no tupperguddy on sports channel

latest

just wrapped up a satisfactory taxi shift with a happy ending.... whilst listening to aussie sheila 'kate cerebrano' singing her song 'brave'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrIAVCV8iWc

quite a good song old boy....

anyway, at almost 4am here in australia we have good morning america on the new tv system sans payments..... that's liberalism for you: free tv

kind of hoping they'll have tupperguddy on sports channel before leaving for shifts around 2pm-ish but as yet not the case...

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

u.s. presidential race

not having fox news -- somewhat out of the loop of late -- just saw romney on tv with some cheesing people -- must be his moonhead family......... he was saying something about the founders of the constitution and inalienable rights...... it seems him and santorum, who has come from nowhere to be in front now that noone cares about gingrich again anymore......

personally, benji doesn't really care who wins... obama is black and he has bam in his last name -- that all really works for him --- however, we all know the u.s. deficit is now like double since when he got into office....... it's hard to understand all that stuff though -- alot of it was public spending but alot of that money is relative money -- and relative value of the money -- relative to the global economy

here's a quick factcheck: the EU is the world's biggest economy, bigger than china or the u.s.a -- her economy is 26% of the world economy

back to inalienable rights... far be it for the modest zero, the benji, to question these 'inalienable' rights and the wisdom of jefferson and franklin... the benji cannot grasp what they are... therefore the benji is happy to imagine franklin reborn in the 20th century as an afro-american (not obama) and jamming metallica songs with jefferson reborn.... these are the only inalienable rights the benji understands

what are 'inalienable' rights? wasn't the history of the russian communist movement nothing but one perversion of 'inalienable' rights after another? isn't africa itself just a giant alienation of inalienable rights? 'inalienable rights' sound good, but what are they? can someone please explain what they are? romney isn't making it clear what they are? who should care if romney is a mormon? who are we to even presume jesus didn't appear to joseph smith anyway? benji is the first one to say that he cannot definitively say it isn't so.....

... some time later, after having seen a repeat of futurama -- the one where bender is floating through space and talks to God...

back to the joseph smith question - you know - the south park people have really dumped on the mormon religion alot... even so - there's no telling if jesus actually did appear to joseph smith... none of the mormons said jesus was born in the 19th century or anything -- they just said he appeared to joseph smith and told him where to find some golden scrolls with the book of mormon in them....... alot of christians in america are really fundamentalist: they refuse the notion that other great avatars were of virgin birth like krishna and some greats in china too.... some of them even say jesus WAS god... that is really blasphemy -- it's foolish to believe that god appears as a human -- even in the bible god just said jesus was his son that he was well pleased with...

having made that clear, benji would like to say that he is well pleased with futurama and the simpsons (and the 'big bang theory') but not at all pleased with 'rules of engagement' or 'new girl' (not at all)

back to mormonism... it's hard to believe that a great many fundamentalist christians and less fundamentalist christians in america will accept a mormon president... even a dirty, greasy, wop, wetback like santorum would be more likely to be found acceptable

we have american football on tv regularly all of a sudden

it turns out we had a jack on the wall in the lounge room that gets some channels for free -- they are mostly dumb although more than usual local 5 channels of australia but they are free... they get 'big bang theory' which is good --- turns out they also get nfl so i intend to figure out once and for all what this sport is about --- all i know so far is you have to make 10 yards in 5 tackles/downs or less... the clock is stopped regularly --- plays start from when the ball is hiked --- according to a set strategic play studied laboriously beforehand and the quarterback typically throws long -- the big guys block and defend and the ball can be thrown more than once but typically isn't --- also know a few team names but not many

maybe in a few months can become an expert on the matter

bill o'reilly

Still not having fox tv at home/or any cable... we have barely touched bill o'reilly of late...

here's a little column he wrote recently

http://billoreilly.com/site/rd?satype=13&said=12&url=%2Fnewslettercolumn%3Fpid%3D35313

he doesn't mention that you can get ahead by pointing somewhere with a quizzical look on your face and saying: 'what the hell is that?' and then when your interlocutor looks you can shove them and grab their bag and run with it; but you can - benji's here to tell you that*

standing on the proverbial mountain-side with o-reilly this past year, on the edge of the cliff, surveying the vast and seemingly endless panorama, we factor viewers in 2011 speculated, albeit subconsciously, the notion of 'shit-eating cock whore'(ism) and recently, that speculation reached its apogee (hopefully that word means culmination, it's meant to anyway)...

to wit: after discovering a delightful barbecue area, not far away, provided by good taxpayers, and which merely requires the pressing of a simple button, like that used to launch nuclear bombs or change your tv station channel or do any number of things (a button); the barbecuing device proceeds to heat a hot plate.... after eating, whilst standing, a relatively ok tasting product of said barbecue, we noticed, as the summer sun glinted through the shady leaves of the retarded eucalypts... a cock, or rooster, alone amongst several ibises, searching for food, and as we masticated the barbecued sausage on a slice of bread; shit eating cock-whore-ism reached its apogee, or culmination (if apogee doesn't mean culmination)


* even factor viewer Michelle agrees with the benji on this according to her recent post to billoreilly.com



This is, of course, common sense; but what a lot of hard working people are having to stomach nowadays is seeing the goof-offs and poor performers profit because they sue when they're fired. I worked hard all my working life. I also had to watch a poor performer finally get fired, then sue, and be granted the same amount of money it took me 20 years to save up in my 401K. This happens so routinely now that Dilbert even had a comic strip about it some years back. There was a guy talking to his co-workers, and he was saying that if he could just get fired from one more job, he could retire with all the settlement money.
Posted by Michele on January 02, 2012 at 5:32 PM

ENGLAND's BIGOTS instalment 2

well you'll remember in our first instalment of ENGLAND's BIGOTS we featured former u.s. president george w. bush, who, like most u.s. presidents, is directly related to english royal blood, which really means some kind of german... it might strike you as amusing, but it's true...... also australian movie actor dan rush

now another installment: tennis player leyton hewitt... of course, not all englishmen are germans, and certainly not all of them have celtic genes.... a very small minority of them even have viking blood through viking rape-and-pillage missions led by the infamous viking long boats which landed, raped, pillaged and burned and then left....

now hewitt, along with the anti-axis-of-evil junta of the AP and Reuters and CNN et al who are perpetually unavailable for comment, will have you believe that hewitt is australian and nothing else..... that's nice, go tell it to some aborigine of Arnhem land... in fact, hewitt has all the trademark characteristics of a german... he seems to have no viking genes or celtic genes either like a scot or a welshman..... hence, hewitt is, as nietzsche spaketh of them: 'a german'

and now a question, a serious question

are the anti-axis-of-evil forces that are Reuters, the AP, CNN, et al stupider than an illiterate Indian tribesman who sacrifices children for a greater harvest....

this is a very serious question, give it your full attention... wait at least a week before even attempting an answer, try to weigh the matter from all angles...

none of the afore-mentioned (including Reuters and the Indian tribesman) were immediately available for comment... messages left for them went unanswered

more sitcom critiquing

have only seen one short promotional bit for new sitcom 'new girl' and finally saw 40 seconds of 'rules of engagement' and another 40 seconds or so of it today...... both shows are utterly despicably pathetic.... the cast and crew of both shows should be airlifted to north korea and dropped over their capital city, whatever it's called, without parachutes

that is all

Monday, January 2, 2012

China's leader Hu Jintao says something stupid for the first time

normally you expect those despicable commie villains in Russia to do all the 'West' bashing, right? as if californians wanted you to mix them up with the Scottish, but anyway, you're used to the Chinese being pretty calm and moderate, albeit with a tendency to do business with Iran, Arab States and Africa (each to their own, buddy)... you've gotten used to thinking of them as your moderate little buddies over their with all the cute little chinese women.... but all of a sudden, China's leadership is saying something stupid... what has happened?


http://news.yahoo.com/hu-warns-chinese-culture-being-westernised-062549889.html;_ylt=AqiNiNhJ5km5PQfvYd9w8YdvaA8F;_ylu=X3oDMTRiYWlrMWI1BGNjb2RlA3ZzaGFyZWFnMgRtaXQDVG9wU3RvcnkgV29ybGRTRgRwa2cDYTRhMzBjNGUtMDVmNy0zNDE0LTlmMTctNDk3ZjY3MTQyNTNiBHBvcwMxNgRzZWMDdG9wX3N0b3J5BHZlcgNmNThiNTVjMC0zNTBhLTExZTEtOGVmYy1mMDJiMWRjYmUxNzU-;_ylg=X3oDMTFwZTltMWVnBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdAN3b3JsZARwdANzZWN0aW9ucwR0ZXN0Aw--;_ylv=3

Sunday, January 1, 2012

i-Pod potential... to use it, or not to use it




you know how it is buddy, your i-Pod is only functioning at 5% of its (notice the lack of unnecessary italicization in its there) full potential... your almost like: why spend some peanuts and time and soup it up to, let's say, 40% of its musical potential... you would need to g yourself up -- motivation...

(insert wavey screen effect and harp music here)

one dude, metallica no leaf clover ('met' for short) and another dude, e-40 tell me when to go ('e' for short) face off to go mano a mano -- mortal kombat, one on one...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKGCWfL6Sjk
vs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GZbaXdK8Js

the crowd hushes, the two warriors face off in the dark arena, fight to the death, no holding back on all kinds of dirty tricks, don't even assume your opponent won't try something really dirty... both met and e know this... they circle each other, like tom sawyer and some schoolkid he faces off with in some mark twain novel...

it's not a question of courage, and especially not one of honor... it's a matter of vanquishing the opponent... both are versed in the art of dirty fighting: squeezing testicles, biting people, headbutting, you name it buddy...

the two circle eachother in the darkened arena, the crowd hushes under flickering flaming torches... a fight to the death... suddenly 'e' sees an opening, a weakness in 'met's' lower leg just above the ankles a few inches - the left one... he moves away to the left of 'met' and then dummies back to the right and then lowers himself and launches a sweep of the leg, kicking 'met' powerfully in the lower left leg...


hey speaking of ghost riders buddy, and sorry to strike a corny note, the new ghost rider moving is coming out in february...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOvfmpgbzHI&feature=fvst

will my buddy jen the whitegirl from illinois that lives in china and is fluent in chinese be right about californians being incurably lame bear true? or will special effects and silly pants acting and close-ups and catchy one liners and more special effect in 3-D make for entertaining art? there's only one way to tell buddy, at the cinema!

only on the big screen will we be able to judge if this film is worthy of more than just exorcising incurably silly-pants catholic italians from their neverending stupidity: to the cinema!

iraq celebrates independence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVDh7xXG-fE&feature=related

matt damon is very handsome