at Jennifer's mansion earlier in the nite:
j-lo: i am gonna be on tv dancing with tom cruise -- everyone around the world will be jealous of me and wish they were me and i will get so much ATTENTION
**** j-lo is surrounded by a stable or menagerie of helpers and go-to people or peeps**
j-lo: whose turn is it to admonish my ego-maniacal nature (j-lo looks around past her
buff black bodyguards for her psychiatrist) -- it's you monica, you're my shrink
- don't you have something to say?
monica: (clears throat) - ahem, yes, do u remember after the golden globes you were
depressed for 2 weeks -- you spent days getting ready for the big event and
then a week after it ended and you got tired of watching the press about it
and you realized that nobody loved you -- that you had no friends -- you
sank into a black depression
*** j-lo's cue was served to step-in and get her money's worth out of her helpers ***
*** she picks up an iron left theatrically and thoughtfully by her PA and strikes her
shrink with it mightily
j-lo: do you think i don't know what the 'gh' in the word 'might' are doing? do u
think i don't know the difference between might m-i-g-h-t and mite m-i-t-e ??
do you think i'm stupid ????
*** by now j-lo is shrieking above her shrink and beating her savagely as her hair-
dresser tries to save her braids and tresses from spilling ...... it's all a
part of the shrink's contract with j-lo -- she is supposed to be beaten and
cannot sue --- mariah carey switched her onto this idea after her breakdown in
2001 left her feeling unsatisfied with mental health-care -----
J-LO: i'll be dancing with tom tonight and he doesn't give a HOOT about psychiatric
medication and neither does the blonde bitch from entertainment tonight
*** by now j-lo's shrink has been beaten enough and j-lo's bodyguard's step in to
separate j-lo from her shrink --- j-lo's PA moves into the scene and looks down
on the rumpled body of j-lo's shrink (a Harvard PhD no less) ---
j-lo's PA: she just didn't know how WRONG she was jennifer -- when will her kind
EVER LEARN?
j-lo: so true darling --- now please fix me some russian cavier on my 2-inch
diameter swiss made crackers from Evyan
j-lo's PA: aye aye captain (makes a saluting motion and exeunt)
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