obama addresses america about situation with india vis-a-vie insulting zoltar

oval office; wearing his only tie (which he rarely did), obama addresses america:

my fellow americans, recently you will recall the indians insulted our god of television and violence, Zoltar...
now, india has paid the price: over half of their population has been deprived of electricity -- no more toasted cheese sandwiches for a while

around america the masses whooped and hollered.... they held aloft signs that said things like: take that punjabi; and, stick that in your peace pipe and smoke it; and, your teepee feeling cold now Zoltar hater?

quiz for katie couric

katie couric is pretty awesome - and she's cute - she went on tv and had her colonoscomy documented which was a real imposition to have her large intestine shown intimately on international tv via a windy camera tube that went up her butthole

as a token of gratitude - we gift her this quiz which everyone else is welcome to play:


1) you know there's some stuffy round table discussion show on fox news on sundays featuring various right-wing journalists, what's it called?

a) snooty dudes stop talking about their bank accounts for an hour
b) i'm thirsty have you got a cup of starch i can drink - i'm not stiff enough
c) fox news sunday maxi power ploy wrap up
d) something else


2) if this sunday round table show on fox news were to feature the same journalists but after a 36 hour meth bender it would be:

a) considerably more interesting
b) incredibly more interesting
c) you might actually not have to change the channel
d) the same


3) fox news sunday morning news wrap up round table discussion show features:

a) that brunette lady with the bob cut hairdo from some newspaper
b) that blonde lady kirsten powers
c) some white guy called jim
d) all of the above


4) the fox news sunday morning show featuring jim and kirsten powers also features

a) discussions about politics n' stuff
b) a step by step analysis of why every other news channel is plotting the destruction of fox news channel
c) i tiny camera inserted into someone's urinary tract
d) polyps which should be removed from the large intestine to avoid colon cancer?


5) cnn's christine amanpour isn't welcome on fox news' sunday morning shows because:

a) she's a lesbian but hasn't come out and it could be awkward if she makes a lunge for a hot presenter
b) she might bring krugman with her and he kind of looks like he's homeless so that could be awkward
c) she's doesn't shave under her arms or use deodorant
d)  she might bring krugman and he could try chewing someone's face off if he's been smoking crack

my buddy winston churchill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERdG-jefYHY

okay so that last post -- never really dreamt that -- just made it up -- did end up dreaming about katy perry after that, and maybe some other pop singer too.....

anyway, this post, that's the kind of nonsense you can expect on benji's blog.... of course, my buddy it refers to, we won't use his real name on this blog and we can't name nickname him after some unknown person so we go for someone typically english and anyway, this guy, whose nickname in those days was nee-ga (pronounced knee-ga), looked a little like a young version of winston churchill in young form

in late 1993 he graduated from high school along with a whole bunch of kids, many of whom benji had studied with since age 4.... benji, who was nicknamed ruxyix (also spelt ruxyzeeix but pronounced like the word 'earn' with an 'r' in front), had repeated a year due to a detour to spain in 1992 at age 16 which served to learn to speak it.......

anyway, winston churchill, a tight buddy, matriculated into university in newcastle, a little north of sydney and suggested to benji finishing his last year of high school  there.... australia being some kind of bolshevik socialist state where the english sit on top of the socialist welfare state pile (that obama likes so much) was and is the kind of country where a 17 year old can sell out his family and go to some welfare officer and get a  govt. stipend due to having a 'shitty' family...... that's what benji did --- it's a pity

in actual fact though, the family situation was that after returning from spain, there was no bedroom in da house for benji as the two eldest siblings, raquel and jose (nicknamed joseph stalin), were living at home well, well into their 20s (25,26 respectively)... and this after the two jokers had spent a large part of their teenage years away from the home....  therefore benji was left sleeping on the lounge room couch and listening to doors slamming in the morning and the eternal arguments of raquel and jose over an iron (as teenagers raquel put jose's head through a sheetrock wall with an awesome headlock)

relations between me, winston, raquel and fatboy (winston's nickname for my father) were pretty tight, we used to play alot of 'mus' together and got along swimmingly.... however winston never thought my father would care about ditching the family but of course he did and it deeply annoyed him, understandably.....

winston's father, who later suicided a few years later, drove us up to newcastle, we had a couch we called 'old faithful'..... it was a great crib and became a great party home for a year...... winston got his govt. socialist handouts for being a university student and benji got his govt. socialist handouts for being a final year high school student (which is the same as being a university student anyway, technically speaking)...... tomato/tomato

at already mentioned school (high school) were some kids (see videoclip) who later became famous

my father, who tolerated winston's nickname of 'fatboy' tolerably well over the years, with no less chagrin than if he were some kind of nuclear bomb destined for nagasaki..... ended up visiting one time in a taxi cab he was driving... he said he had some fare from sydney -- that would have been quite a fare indeed.....

he caught me home alone with my girlfriend suzie, a 22 year old serb i told i was 20 (i was 18 which in australia is pronounced 'a dean' by the ruffian and brutish south african-like locals)

winston later enjoyed good relations with marisol (my mother)'s sister in madrid, spain, who also hosted a mineola nassau county girl in 1992 when benji abided there also, who later dated a famous baseball player - possibly from ny yankees... winston also visited some of his own family in england in the north where he was impressed with their accents and how he was told he'd have to 'bunk with the lads' (pronounced 'boonk' and 'luds')

winston likewise had some relations with benji's other sister (cleopatra the arsehole - originally some crazy old dutch guy in amsterdam nicknamed her that - benji embellished it with the epithet -the arsehole-) who now lives in spain but spent 5 years in holland and was married to some guy called jorrik at some point

after the year 1994 in newcastle, winston stayed on there and benji returned to the alvarez household after doing very well in the end of high school exams..... possibly better than if having stayed behind that year, which benji had no intention of doing anyway

also memorable that year were two stalwart school buddies, both saturnian types, and anglos, by turns, a pisces and aquarian......

recently at a wedding of a mutual friend, one of winston's sister's friend was present at our table and my marisol and jose mentioned having seen his mother working at their local supermarket a few years ago

both winston and i held eachother's mother's cooking in high esteem... he was genuinely shocked by some of benji's temper tantrums and maltreatment of marisol (benji's mother) eg., throwing an ice-cream dessert at a wall because it was a bad flavor (that would have been more towards age 14 than 17 though)

the two saturnian buddies, or at least one of them, but probably both of them, from high school, were somewhat new to the school too as having a rudolph steiner schooling background, some of their steiner school buddies seemed cool, especially a little blonde 17 year old girl..... being a teenager has its good points... this girl and benji dated a little at around the time benji lost his virginity to the horny serb..... it was like a little puritan hurrah the two of us, steiner blondie and benji, cuddling up on her deck chair in her backyard

it was a pretty cool school and spending almost a full year there was pretty cool -- a lot less white trashy to my hometown and more middle-classy --- the school bike, a really not bad looking kid, gave me a ride home one day, i wasn't sure if i was meant to try to have sex with her or something coz of her reputation -- in general kids are exposed to too much sex and are too young to be slutting around so much..... another girl at school had spent a year in japan... most of the teachers never gave me a hard time except one that i gave him a hard time anyway...... at a school party, right at the very beginning of the year, benji set the tone for what kind of nut we'd all be dealing with by getting blind drunk, (later not remembering any of it),  running up to arriving girls and trying to kiss them all, being protected from beatings by their surfy boyfriends and trying to take by force an expensive spanish guitar played by homecoming king and queen dude -- his girlfriend polly was a hot bitch -- his name was ben too..... couldn't remember getting home, just waking up inside the pad on some white towels, winston had discovered me in a pile of red vomit (red wine) by the front door and dragged me through it.... later one of afore-mentioned saturnian buddies, timbo, came over and explained the reality.... sure was a bad hangover, lasted a few days

my father always told me: 'youth is wasted on the young'.... he wasn't kidding.... that is, when he wasn't telling me 'if you don't have anything to say, shut your mouth' in the typical aggressive spaniard babboon way.... benji never dared called his father 'fatboy' however, in hindsight, fatboy did warm to being called fatboy by winston

long after winston and benji parted ways, which was over the telephone in 1998, benji pointedly telling winston over and over again 'you can get fucked' (for no reason at all), to which winston replied 'fuck off' (end of friendship).... benji's pot buddy christine the half american half dutch libra sat by grinning dumbly with her bong (billy) and mullbowl (bowl for preparing 'chuff' marijuana and tobacco)....  years later... august 2001, arriving in america for the first time, wearing a t-shirt that says 'ego' on it and some sandals and pants... my buddy katherine gets me at dulles in washington d.c...... the car park is huge, we have to find the 'purple' bus.... americans turn out to be an entirely different race and mentally more focused on what things look like visually..... the drive to her crib by VCU is pretty drab and understated.... later walks around the neighborhood reveal greater levels of glory..... weeks later, after cleaning roofs with billy... kate couric is on tv talking about human sacrifices (in the walk into the volcanic lava for the greater glory of the Deity at the end of my speartip please sense of the term human sacrifice as opposed to walking your neighbor's dog and sprucing up your neighborhood are human sacrifices we can all make) and the war on terror.... finish with france forever and ever in mid 2002 and home to madrid... arrive at adam's after a long busride from paris and smoke some of his billys (bongs) and drink a slug of whiskey and say 'boo ya' -- adam likes it

a little less than 6 years before that boo ya moment, adam and benji are living not far away, also in madrid, and are accompanied by colleen, a friend and high school buddy of the 1992 nassau county mineloa girl boarder with aunt pepa afore-mentioned, colleen can pop ping-pong balls from her vagina adam says..... chilling with adam and colleen, the fun thing to do while washing dishes is scare the crap out of colleen.... 'no, stop! stop the voices! leave me alone, i don't want to burn them, they're my friends, i don't want to hurt them, leave me alone' (pretending to be responding to voices in my head) - and then laugh fiendishly - colleen calls out from the study room (the entire wall of which is glass and gives onto a breathtaking view of madrid's largest park by far, the casa del campoo - it's all woods and mountains from there homey) 'stop it you're scaring me'........ on another occasion, benji begins to mimic how he thinks colleen's shrink talks, whom colleen saw due to taking a dangerous dose of liquid ecstasy she said (kids and drugs these days)... colleen hung out with super rich kids at boston college, 'i want you to imagine you're in the zone colleen, get into the zone,' i say putting on a phoney voice with the intention of mimicking her shrink who i've never met........ colleen acts like she is genuinely flabbergasted and amazed because i have exactly replicated her shrink's unique voice and way of talking without ever having met him or heard him... she went on to excitedly describe how he was disabled and got around in a wheelchair

some weeks earlier, in the same room, we rcvd a photograph from winston in nanjing, china.... circa 1996, he said later that the conditions in china in those days were very conservative in terms of dating...... much different to the reality there just a few years later in 2003

rain dance dream

well what a strange dream! the jesse waters guy from fox news goes hiking in a river canyon and gets lost... then he runs into some indians who need him to perform a rain dance... jesus and joseph smith are there too.... apparently waters has a lot of midiclorians or something and he is the only guy who can trigger the rain to save the american soybean crop and the global economy by extension.... but waters refuses to go on tv dressed like an indian and doing a rain dance as it will damage his career as the public has become used to his trademark popped-up collar look.... just remember thinking, if only he'd do the rain dance and save the people.... if only he could obey jesus and joseph smith, like that guy in the bible that had to kill his son coz God told him to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZpqFM5n_jY

france's 2002 presidential elections

moving on, benji recalls living in paris in the first half of 2002, there was a presidential election and the far-right candidate, jean marie la penn, received so many votes, very many french people took it upon themselves to show their displeasure by protesting openly in the streets, some of the young mademoiselles even had tears drawn upon their faces and the words: 'j'ai honte d'etre francaise' (i am ashamed to be french).... that is how bad they felt about the large but ineffectual amount of votes the far-right party won

but, unless benji hallucinated it all, the amazing thing, and really damning for france and reason for afore-mentioned mademoiselles to have tears drawn on their face and the motto:  'j'ai honte d'etre francaise', the really damning thing was one of le penn's tv commercials, again, hopefully we never hallucinated it and it was indeed the case, in fact, maybe it was put together by some french tv channel and not in fact a commercial produced by le penn's party....


but what it was was extremely memorable for its patheticness: some english-language pop song, unfortunately cannot find it on the internet, but the lyrics were very trashy, and went: 'sexy baby with that attitude, you're looking at me, i'm looking at you...' and then le penn walks out to some press conference -- either way, whether his own team was dumb enough to make it, or it was a media stitch up, you have never seen anything dumber in politics (outside of england's 'royal' system of peerage and lords and knights, etc, which technically isn't even real politics as it lies outside the realm of democracy anyway)

some bullshitter from bbc attacks spain

some dumb ho from the bbc (welfare handout recipients), in a fit of post-cricket, post binge-drinking, post can't/cunt-last/lust pseudonomic boredom induced pompousness, has, almost stifling a yawn, asked a spaniard she interviewed (who could at least speak english, unlike the bbc woman, who, like most english people, fail miserably at learning any other languages), asked the spaniard about spain's 'inferiority complex'.......... (her words)

this is typical of the english genius for condescension, perhaps the only true english talent.... and we've covered it numerous times in this blog and how it spells doom for any non english person living in english society in the arts and journalism

we put it to the bbc that perhaps you're a boring bunch of anti-meritocratic snotty-nosed snorers, how do you like those apples, little english person?

yes, a spaniard, the first thing he or she would tell you about english people that cannot even speak spanish, is that they don't need an english-person telling them about their own nation, especially one that doesn't even know anything about spain, like a bbc journalist (who is in any case a dole-bludger).....

benji, fluent in spanish and all spanish genetically, can affirm that the spaniards are imbecilic purely and squarely or at least in the main, because of their rotten induction and smeltering of catholicism..... not to mention their creaking rigidity and conformity with their own outdated mores

but the english? the very thing that means most to the english, their royal families, their royal titles, their lords, their peerage....... their born, hereditary titles, that fly in the face of meritocracy, this is indeed a real testament to inferiority complex......... however, the english, are in fact so deeply buried in this creaking, stinking hole of their own creation, that no amount of logic can make them see otherwise, hence the story of 'the emperor's new clothes'...... very fit to describe the english

cheery-o little english bbc people..... you're shrinking tinier than a gnat now, sod off!

some american history

now benji, like most ppl, is no expert, ni mucho menos (nor a lot less than that), on american history, however, after reading about the state of missouri, one thing becomes shiningly apparent:

missouri was not one of the 13 or so initial signatory states to the declaration of independence like virginia, new york (a dutch city dating back to 16th century), pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts Bay, Maryland, South Carolina,New Hampshire, North Carolina, and Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.


these are the states that signed the famous declaration of independence (which you can now see somewhere in pennsylvania in the same rooms the  initial congress met for about 10 years) with the view to shaking off english rule, maybe men like jefferson and franklin, moreso than washington, would have foreseen that the american colonies, which were scattered at the time, would have evolved into a mighty whole......... 


but what you may not realize, is that as washington was warring with the english, california was a spanish enclave (the spaniards were sailing there via southernmost point of south america), louisiana was still french and had not been purchased via the louisiana purchase..... Napoleon was warring with ALL of europe by some kind of Divine plan of Evolution at approximately the time america was kind of first digging her roots into the soil....... it seems it was under napoleon that missourri territory and louisisana were sold off to the americans

movies that kick-arse: spiderman 3

you know, one time Benji offsided for some guy in sedona arizona - a landscaper - this guy gets (or got - in 2006) around in his big giant yellow 4wd utility vehicle doing his landscaping work making for money than his parents combined maybe -- at such a young age -- in a place with no grass anyway -- said all he did was work -- when he wasn't landscaping he was designing at home and doing his paperwork -- he said -- and sure, you can't believe everything everyone says -- he said that if he goes to see a movie with a woman, he loses like $2000 in lost business revenue plus the cost of movie tickets/dinner/maybe hotel too...... mostly just lost business revenue

Benji's movie outing today: $80.... not including LPG gas burnt.... $40 movie tickets (way overpriced - keep forgetting to bring goggles 3d -- now have a drawer full of them)...... $28 ferry boat tickets for return ride into city from manly beach area north of sydney city downtown area....... $12 food........ that's also not  counting bus rides from pier to cinema........

anyway -- spiderman 3 did not disappoint.. esthetically, this movie is practically perfect..... in terms of everything -- this movie has to juggle the formulaic peter parker domestic shit with his family -- plus his relationships with his spiderman girlfriend and the future father in law is in the picture but spiderman ends up something tying in with the policeman guy's death.......... anyway this movie is a goddam masterpiece..... much better than any previous spiderman -- this movie mixes the cheesy close ups despicable to benji of kissy time and cheesy piano sounds on soundtrack with amazing action scenes that are actually shot and edited properly.......... this movie completely kicks arse 100%  --- it's a perfect 10........

this is to say, this movie is not cheesy, it displays heroic virtuous behavior and familiar relationships like potential son/father-in-law relationship in a noble way -- martin sheen and sally field play old looking aunt/uncle of parker who is no longer tobey maguire -- probably they laid a little extra old looking make-up on sheen and field and they don't really look that old (yet)

they were showing this batman outfit at cinema as if it were the same outfit christian bale wore in both last movies, however, if so, how does anyone get into a 114 piece suit??????

this scene from 1980s movie 'war games' is always cool when considering thermo-nuclear war:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1F7vaNP9w0

shit writers segment

you know nowadays every dumbarse monkey is writing a book -- that's probably why it might take 5, 6 or more generations for the yet to be born dumbarse monkeys to even appreciate a writer like Benji -- like trying to find a needle in a literary haystack ---- there's so much shit literature, you can almost feel assured, like the Taliban, that intellectual stimulation of all kinds is just useless and it's better to buy some sheep, buy a wife - cut her nose off and not shower for a year........

here's today's example of shit writing: Chad Oliver - some Texan - i have a book by Chad Oliver which was found while disposing of trash one day along with some westerns....  it's fair to say that 4 or 5 sampled pages produced nothing but trash -- even the Presidential speechwriters occasionally do a better job than this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chad_Oliver

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mists_of_Dawn

you can bet your bottom dollar, Chad's books suck -- only good for book burnings

hey that colorado shooter is a frickin' interesting case, isn't it?

you see the guy in court, and it's just like one of the victim's family said: 'he knows exactly what's going on'.....

this guy is in no way repentant or remorseful and you're left scratching your head wondering if it's demonic possession or he was upset he was failed at university.........

his university track record and what he was studying, his general academic record + what his peers said about him in no way suggests struggling with psychosis...... likewise there's no social marginalization or hard-luck struggling -- he even got a 26k per year stipend and his folks were well to do

we aren't hearing peep out of the parents and it's amazing the media aren't bashing down their door

there definitely seems something of dostoyevsky's 'raskalnikov' about him, the guy that wanted to kill just to see how it would feel

and what a dastardly crime! he killed a 6 year old -- 10 other people, injured scores of others...... and he doesn't at all seem to give a crap which makes him a total sociopath!

one thing is for sure though, you don't shoot up a bunch of people unless you're really angry...... looks like he got his fill of anger venting by the time he told the cops his apartment was booby-trapped -- and he most certainly did that in part in case he was killed before he could surrender alive......

that's the kind of pressure cooker environment america can be like, that's for sure.........

help for would be psycho killers to avoid killing people

from that last post we had some basic exercise tips;


 it seems moot to add an occasional section for would be and aspiring psycho killers to do something to address their issues into this blog......... and if u are some kind of whackjob -- you know that benji gets you........... so maybe next posting will touch on that - and for now, just try to get some exercise, try touching your tows ten times in a row and then do 20 starjumps.......extending arms out and spreading legs out then arms in and legs back in........

but while regular exercise is good for the body, you need more help than that coz you're annoyed and certain parts of your brain can lead to massive amounts of suffering, before appealing to your sense of empathy which may in fact be atrophied (that's funny - you can laugh at that last point) -- but what's not funny is that you're a psycho killer -- bold action must be taken to fix you up! -- benji suggests: go to guangzhou ---  go to guangzhou?? you say... isn't that in china?

yep, go spend a year in guangzhou before you start killing anyone, you can even develop a heroine habit there (yes, you can get it there)....... that means before you go stockpiling weapons, drawing up attack charts and visualizing all those whimpers of fear and being the centre of attention just like tom sawyer, just go and spend a year in guangzhou -- imagine all the freedom you'll have there, as opposed to a tiny jail cell year after year before being put to death.......... take it from benji buddy! bring your laptop computer and some dvds - buy the rest of your dvds there......

roswell that ends well

is an episode of futurama that aired early december 2001...... shortly after 9/11... no sign of post violence trauma in this episode and, in any case, it's not a particularly interesting episode and just something to have on in the background...........much better than english redneck radio that we get here on the AM stations.........

now it seems moot, that while the american media are temendously enjoying the bloodshed in colorado like the vampire monkeys that they are...... it seems moot to add an occasional section for would be and aspiring psycho killers to do something to address their issues into this blog......... and if u are some kind of whackjob -- you know that benji gets you........... so maybe next posting will touch on that - and for now, just try to get some exercise, try touching your tows ten times in a row and then do 20 starjumps.......extending arms out and spreading legs out then arms in and legs back in........

that is all for now

DUNCE classes

dunce is an english way of pronouncing dance, right? and how u feel when u dance, maybe? well lately we've been recommencing salsa/cha-cha/rumba lessons....... it sure is horrible stuff....... almost better to get shot up by some nutjob....... but at the same time, it sure makes you admire all those people on 'dancing with the stars' and whoever pulls off all those great dance moves, e.g., at the salsa club.... etc... carry on duncers

Zoltar versus Ganesh

as we have seen, Zoltar is the God of America (and television violence): the father of Jesus that sent his son to say: 'what father would give his son a stone, if he asked for bread?' and then sat by while his son was left to die, crucified on a cross in agony after taking some severe beatings and whippings and being spat upon, etc....... Zoltar who destroys the masses with his mighty earthquakes and storms.... Zoltar who occasionally robs the mothers' children, just to tug at their heartstrings and show them who is boss... Zoltar who, above all, exulted in violence, either in artistic depiction, or else in reality... Zoltar who always sided with the Jews and Christians in their wars against the Moslems and who loved bombs and massive explosions and knifings and fist-fights.......

well the hubbub about the batman crazy shooter in colorado was completely expelled by some casual comments made by the President of India, when he thought his microphone was switched off after a news conference:

'Zoltar, what a gay fucking God! You know what Zoltar is? It's that spider-web you see in the psychology textbooks, the one created by a spider high on LSD, that's what Zoltar is.... Ganesh would totally kick his fucking arse'

Well when the American media got wind of it, those comments played over and over again literally for hours while the journalists speculated on what the cabinet and chiefs of staff and the President could be mulling over in response

no-one had ever more deeply and mistakenly crossed the line, than the President of India, with his insulting remarks about the God of America (Zoltar), the one mentioned on their dollar bills (the money) that they 'trust' in

finally, the President was ready to address the Nation:

'My fellow Americans,' he began.... 'We are at war with India....'




well shooting up 12 people in america was as common as asking for a caramel sundae.... more ppl in chicago were dying every week and no-one even batted an eyelash -- but for the media the story was sexy as it was an affront on the venerated church: the cinema........... as yet, no-one had dared to desecrate the sanctity of the church........... and now, adding insult to injury, the Indians were demeaning America's God, 'Zoltar'........ comparing Him to a spiderweb spun by a spider on drugs (see above).....


(the President continues)


'my fellow Americans..... effective immediately, all Indians in America will be sent to detention camps, we will no longer be outsourcing telephone call centres to India.... all trade with India will be ceased immediately and sanctions are to be placed on India effective immediately....'


all over America, people began burning Ganesh statues and those tie-dye t-shirts with the Hindu 'Om' sign on it popular with middle-class druggies in San Francisco whose parents paid for their drugs and who occasionally worked for their own drugs..... book burnings were held to burn the Bhagavad-Gita....  Evangelist preachers spoke up to decry the Satanic Indian Pantheon of Gods: Shiva, the destroyer; Ganesh, God of general good luck and getting on the spot bailouts from Vishnu........ Vishnu and Brahman, big company director Gods you never see but whose lives span the very rhythmic creation and destruction of the Universes....... Nancy Pelosi came out comparing the Indians with the Nazis due to their continued use of the Swastika motif.... Gandhi was denounced as a sociopath


in India, the people were somewhat puzzled by it all...... 'We would maybe boycott Kentucky Fried Chicken but their food is shit anyway and we're vegetarians so we wouldn't eat there anyway....' the people were quoted as saying on American tv and this enraged the Americans more until they were ready to bomb India for the first time in the two Nations' histories.....

friday's dave letterman

features woody harrelson, you know he was the guy in cheers and also the skinhead in american history x and between those gigs he lay in bed for a long time doing nothing.......

but before that, dave invoked Zoltar, the demon-god of television and violence after the colorado slaying at the batman movie premiere in aurora colorado on thursday night local time....... here's dave's top 10 things Zoltar the demon-god of television and violence said after he was appeased by fresh blood:

number 10:  well at least anderson cooper won't have to blabber on about the syrians for a while

(floor manager holds up card to audience saying 'laugh' -- laughter ensues)

number 9: that'll keep the talking heads busy for a while

(laughs ensue)

number 8: guess he didn't like sequels much

number 7: and to think they wanted the NRA to stop selling shoulder-launched RPGs

number 6: it's not like you'd make violence the central theme of all of your movies and tv shows and
               then just kind of ignore this, right?

number 5: check please, Zoltar is full

.......

and so forth.......

bun in the oven nigga

july 4th (last), westmead hospital, sydney, australia:

'i have the sperm and i'm injecting it into egg number eight,' squawking, indecipherable crackling sounds, 'the sperm is successfully attached in the egg... i'm freezing all successful eggs...'

'roger that mission command'

'copy'

a few days later, same place,

'we are go for insertion of fertilized egg into the vagina at thirteen hundred hours,'

'roger that'

'inserting in 10, 9, 8.....'



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjWiMYr6XDA&feature=related  (here more scientific squawking nasa talk here)

ok - we have thursdays cbs this morning

point one: susan rice american secretary for state or spokeswoman for that or sthmg like that.... why don't you just shut your mouth honey and put on a pretty little dress for us to look at???

if america isn't in syria doing anything, why do we want to listen to their govt. piss and moan impotently about all the things the syrian govt. is doing to syrians that americans were doing to iraqis and which we say poignantly on wikileaks: helicopter gunships massacre-ing civilians.......... we don't want to hear it rice and co -- so just shut your little cakeholes....... voilence begets violence and all this is happening in syria as a direct result of the american incursion into iraq.... so don't give us your lame little pissy-babbles! and what does rice and the liberal media want to side with the rebels for anyway? some of them are al-qaeda and suicide bombers!

anyway -- remember benji's prediction? all over in syria between mid september and mid december?? well that's looking like it might come true

moving on, we'll be introducing a new fictional character into this blog, for comic levity, alfonso the puerto rican movie star.......... he'll be sure to entertain (some other time)

oh look on cbs this morning, before jeff daniels they had a couple of elevator operators talking about a new elevator operator channels about going up and down in elevators pressing buttons and sitting around all day --- not very interesting

now they are with the 'emmy' awards...... we've covered what losers these americans are here: ashkenazi jews good, sephardic jews bad..... anglo-saxon surnames good, non anglo-saxon surnames bad............. jesus good, mohammed bad.......... white guy good, black guy maybe good too......... jew good, moslem bad............ england good, rest of world, bad...........

this is american art............ it's like the cripple outside the train station shaking its cup for some spare change........... better to havea  gay crush on bill o'reilly

some food for thought

random thoughts from the mind of benji...... well this week we have a japanese female staying with us -- gay guy left -- gay guy had a cool picture taken with lady gaga - she pulled him out of an audience in perth -- would try posting it but as mentioned, cable missing.......

anyway, random thoughts from the mind of benji: first on economics... all these cats getting big fat pensions after they retire, all around the world, that has GOT TO stop...... no-one can afford that -- no-one should get a big fat pension unless it is from a private corporation and part of their pay package and preferably they should pay some of their wage automatically every paycheck and not receive the money until they retire.......... this kind of 'european socialism' is incredibly common in america and is bankrupting various counties and states (e.g., california)...... in general, the republicans consider this kind of spending good, along with subsidies for farmers because they are nationalistic to the point of communistic

are you sick of 'strong-principled' american crap on tv that just comes across as lame as a bunch of severely mentally retarded school students on a roller-skating outing? take a number...... and why isn't mel gibson in a mental hospital already? and why do so many republicans love mel gibson?

it's because republicans are confused about Jesus...... we'll have to cover this topic (again possibly) in a future posting..... to see what 'evangelicals' and 'christians' in america are confused about...... and remember, if you want to be a christian, consider going poor

the big issue

http://www.cnbc.com/id/48218372?__source=yahoo|related|story|text|&par=yahoo

http://www.cnbc.com/id/41491193/

http://www.cnbc.com/id/46923999/

is that petrol will run out in like 150 years

knows pin zone

http://au.sports.yahoo.com/news/needles-found-sandwiches-4-us-bound-delta-flights-041122274--finance.html

here's an interesting story and ideal too for spanish learners to realize that 'saber' in spanish means 'to know' but also means 'to taste'..... for example... benji fries 3 steaks on bbq grill.... how is the  meat benji? 'sabe muy bien' (it tastes very well).......... does o'reilly know he's a dumbarse benji? 'sabe muy bien!' (he knows it well!)

return

what's up bitches? grovel in the dirt pitiful worms before Benji!....

just kidding -- anyhoo -- what a great get back to Nature that was.... albeit on a continent where Nature is definitely subject to some serious retardation..... just listen to the prehistoric sounding birdcalls and have a look around a little and you'll get what that means.... but that's not to say there weren't some magnificent waterfalls there, good Lord......

anyhoo, question? what the the f*$&   is SETI doing???? they have same lamanite engineers based in west virginia who spend their entire boring worklives scanning the night skies (on the tax-payers dime - goddam socialists!) for electro-magnetic activity from 'intelligent life' (e.g., a spaceship) -- these cats ALWAYS get zero responses....... despite all the witnesses among pilots, air-traffic controllers, air-force pilots, random normal punters that are reporting back on UFOs including tv journalists who have filmed UFOs being summoned at will by some dude who seems to be able to summon them at will, despite all the aforementioned, the SETI project always comes back with cricket noises..... someone needs to kick the SETI projects heads in: stupid losers! suckers!

anyway, at campsite there was also (apart from stars) some guy called Tom who says he is 40% likely to have prostate cancer and may end up suiciding in the long run, if it gets too serious for him..... now you know... told Tom some cats in California would start praying for him to heal and for him to be aware of it? got a problem -- run it by AMORC's 'council of solace' and they'll start praying for you:
http://www.rosicrucian.org/about/council.html
Tom's 55 and retired from book-selling trade he says, also represents himself as child of german migrants from germany in 1955 to australia.... says he's been living out of his van for past year as he prefers outdoor life to renting....


letterman has introduced a Ball-Boy into his tv show and this is above Tony award winning stuff, probably the greatest thing letterman has done with his show ever except for the women in scanty outfits holding up signs like bimbos... they should give the Ball-Boy some character development, maybe a (hot for) 52 year old chinese girlfriend who's married and has a first grandkid on the way

off camping

it's off camping today monday -- to jamberoo 2 hours south -- about 100km away...... all alone -- firelight -- tent -- stars -- food -- back on wednesday

suicide, anyone?

god it feels rotten when you start thinking about suicide, right?  over here, taxi driving is the worst job ever sometimes... you might as well carry a sign around saying, 'please treat me like shit and rape all of my tolerance and compassion'........

times like that you just want to get a gun and shoot urself in the head........ and what if you chose a total dumb-bitch for a wife? that's probably not even that uncommon....... you know the kind of dumb bitch, that always complains about everything - nothing is ever good enough for her -- she's not even that good looking........

maybe i should just get a divorce and go back to living in china........ there's only so far you can go with americans and australians before you run into a wall and you're dealing with a nation of born losers.... or probably better to go live in mexico/south america -- maybe just start out watching some cartel types kill people......

it's too bad the americans and russians, on the other side of the cold war thing, have been educating their women for generations now to be dumbarse whores chomping their birth control pills (why do i have breast cancer dude? umm)...... no-one has any self-respect in the West.... (or former russian countries either)........... would go live with moslems but most of them don't have a pot to piss in -- they should try overthrowing their own governments, eg., in qatar, saudi arabia, etc

fox news talking about 'european socialism'

fox news generally has the same people talking about the same things all the time... maybe because so many of their viewers are so rich, they need constant reassuring, so they don't change their standard message much.......... one of their core messages is:  'we don't want to be socialists like those europeans addicted to handouts'......... that's laughable......... in spain, you can only draw unemployment money if you have actually worked (and only for a short period), in america, you can draw it much longer than spain and you never had to work for it to begin with, the only criteria is that you be an american citizen or resident.... at least in spain, if a south american comes to work at least he can draw benefits that he actually worked for...... illegal aliens in american can NEVER draw money from the state although the very wealthy that like the fox news ignoramus mantra:  'we don't want to be socialists like those europeans addicted to handouts'... funnily enough, these cats can get free golf carts from tax money that illegal mexicans paid


who in greece is getting a free ride now? go to any former communist country and ask the people what  kind of social aid they can get? 


maybe in norway you can get some good government freebies but it's doubtful if it would even be more than in america.......... america has always been a welfare state........


if fox news wants to continue living in a bubble with their little intellectuals there, let them


bush once went to france and asked, 'do you have any entrepreneurs here?'... in fact, a large part of hotel/motels in america are run by french companies... what companies has bush started?..... there's a difference between old money and entrenched wealth (that even a monkey can sit on) and being an entrepreneur and generating wealth and just 'being rich'........  carrefour is one of the biggest 'western' companies in china - it's french and has a lot of supermarkets - carrefour also has supermarkets around europe too -- kfc is also very big in china -- possibly bigger than carrefour


if fox news keeps going with  'we don't want to be socialists like those europeans addicted to handouts'.... they're just not gonna be competitive.... 


take saudi arabia.... they're rich right? they love republicans and republicans love saudis..... but how much of saudi wealth is entrepreneurialism, like the french hoteliers in america, and how much is just dumb luck? oh look, we're sitting on 180 trillion dollars worth of oil.....


moving on....... we have cbs this morning.... it has dave letterman and that dumbarse guy 'ray romano' or whatever his name is from that completely dumbarse tv show everybody loves raymond........ now we have some 19 year old gay guy staying at hotel benji........ i really feel comfortable letting my inner gay side out around some gay dude......... i mean i am completely gay except i don't want to do the whole arsesex thing with guys and kissing and jerking eachother off and all that disgusting stuff coz i'm not into it and women are hot........... and gayle, that's a very nice red and white top you're wearing there honey..... and nice glasses too - and pearls.........

watching friday's letterman on sunday morning

it's the one with mitt romney's doughnuts and adam sandler....... man no more donating to mitt romney -- the porsche case settled... 12k... ouch..... (and it's not like a i bilked that money out of my customers, right?)

now to make extra money we're renting the spare room out over some website anb.... surprised 2 singaporean parents and their teenage kid studying in perth wanted to stay in our tiny apartment...... the kid is only spending a nite and slept on the couch...... $160 for three days...... only chinese people would want to be so communal like that --- they were recommended by the previous guests that spent 1 week. also from singapore.........

on the 27th july a californian that resides in hong kong and works as a history teacher is coming to stay, she is keen to dive with sharks at an aquarium so it would be good to see something to do with diving with sharks on letterman on a friday in this period....

well thanks to the red hot chili peppers, are they the greatest rock band ever??? it's definitely possible.... got thru this past week (off to work again today anyway) listening to their music - they are awesome........ then on regular radio that dumb song 'creep' came on (i'm a creep....power chords... you know the one) and it hit me, wouldn't it be awesome if the chili peppers did a cover of this creep song? like a funky version? i bet they would make a ton of money doing it and reignite interest in their group

weeks ago made a video in taxi (not that i would have filmed it myself while driving)  requesting letterman have his mom on his show some more -- but cannot find cable to download phone stuff.... anyway it would be good to see her on a friday episode now and then......... that is all

black incarceration in america and bashing bill o'reilly and whitey in general

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKsVSBhSwJg&feature=context-shows&list=SL

(bed intruder song)


last nite, when most of the work gets done (at nite) -- was reading on phone some kind of story maybe from reuters about black incarceration in america -- specifically a case in florida where a 20 year old was given 'stacked' sentences (sentences that are stacked up each based on a per charge basis) -- the verdict, for a few armed robberies, the 20 year old will spend his entire life in prison, even if he lives to be an amazing 144 years old!

in america they made some laws in congress about 'cruel and unusual punishment' so as not to be able to imprison an under 18 year old to life in prison for minuscule shit.... in general afro-americans are over-represented in american prisons and part of the whole obama thing that liberal whitey is going along with, is finding a redress for this

do you think it's okay to imprison a 20 year old for life for a few armed robberies? it's not okay....

you can only made decisions based on your own wisdom and experience... my experience, my last 5 months in america, was sharing an emergency shelter with about 100+ mostly afro-american guys... alot of them ex-cons... memorably, one guy boldly affirmed:

'i'm a rolling 60s crip,' (a gang-member), 'if i find out who stole my stuff they'll be taking you out of here in a body bag, i'll put battery acid in your soap!'

another time some big tough guy with a drooping lower lip seemed to be trying to get in front of me in the blanket line, i reprimanded him and he became very blusterous about it, i just told him what i thought and that was that -- no one was cowed, no one was scared... later i saw this guy outside lining up telling off some dumbarse white guy schizo on meds and i remembered our previous encounter and as i was standing near him i was getting ready to get away from him in case he remembered our previous encounter in case of accidentally spotting me nearby; as he was exceedingly angry on this occasion

another time a guy there remonstrated me for the way the english had treated the aborigines in australia (i'm spanish, we sent an armada over to england to kill a whole bunch of them); he went on to say he had killed his own father because he was raping his sister who was retarded

another guy there was an ex-marine and knew alot about norad

some other guy nearby in the ghetto explained how crack-cocaine traders can make money in a day

one guy in the shelter was making dumb sounds, i decided to challenge him on that by mimicking his tone in a mocking way, he responded disgustedly: 'i'm black motherfucker!'.... i mocked him back saying, 'oooh i'm black' in a falsetto mocking voice....... but now i take my hat off to the man, he was quite right, he was indeed black

anyway, there are a terrible amount of injustices being perpetrated by the criminal-justice system against black inmates, felons and accused folk..... these perpetrators: lawyers, judges, policemen, etc... (AND sundry media pundits), will not escape justice themselves on this score! you can be sure of that!

it was very disappointing to hear a young afro-american kid about age 7 describe himself as 'evil'


here's a word for bill o'reilly:   fogey (don't be one/ self-contented chuckle)

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/fogey

so you can run and tell that homeboy! and chris rock isn't 'bitter'... he's bloated (not fat bloated)

what if jimmy fallon were Jesus Fallon?

mr. fallon walks down sunset boulevard with his apostles... one of them spots a squished cockroach and some ants munching it,

'who sinned master? the cockroach for being too slow to save its own life, or the person that inadvertently squished this cockroach?'

'neither, but that the ants could have something to munch on...'

then the same party found themselves in rancho cucamonga... why did they consort with the middle class? some skeptics asked... at a house party, the people lamented that there were no drugs neither alcohol

'openeth the pantry and ye shall find budweiser,' said Fallon, and it was done.... all marveled, now openeth the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom and ye shall find weed... and it was just so... the people marveled

then the same group found themselves at rodeo drive... a woman dressed very expensively lamented that she would not be able to afford further plastic surgery because her home value had depreciated too much: then Fallon performed a miracle and she had a perfect nose

praise the Lord said his disciples

fox news stossel special

hey look, we've made it pretty clear here benji likes fox news slant on things, but they tend to be short on factoids and stronger on broad philosophy backed by specific examples

but you cannot generalize for a second about the EU..... some of the shittiest former commie countries have turned around amazingly (like slovenia and poland) and have never had better economies ever, especially not during communism and not before that either.... so the EU is not a failure for them..... socialism might suck but it is not indebting oil-rich norway either....  when presenting these matters (or whatever matters - fox news is always WELL short of bullet points/factoids.....)

in other news, entertainment tonight informs us that funny guy jay leno was once a russian cosmonaut dog (bitch) who went by the name of Chernushka

Chernushka

Chernushka (Чернушка, "Blackie") made one orbit on board Korabl-Sputnik-4 (Sputnik 9) on March 9, 1961 with a cosmonaut dummy (whom Soviet officials nicknamed Ivan Ivanovich), mice and a guinea pig. The dummy was ejected out of the capsule during re-entry and made a soft landing using a parachute. Chernushka was recovered unharmed inside the capsule.

anderson cooper is a homo

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/anderson-cooper-gay-comes-154527163--finance.html

you know what? i don't care if anderson cooper is a homo, what bothers me is that some better qualified person cannot have anderson cooper's job just because their last name isn't english or because they are russian or black or south american or thai or whatever....... i'd like to live in a world where QUALITY is the 1st order and takes PRECEDENCE  over PATHETIC PROTOCOLS like having an anglo-saxon surname or going to some loser university in loser-land america.......CNN has made some insincere efforts at tokenism, probably as a kind of running joke, but i'm not talking about tokenism, i'm talking about quality

see bs this morning

watching monday's see bs this morning, it dawned: it's time to trash talk jimmy fallon after they showed some jimmy fallon....

don't you, reader, think that benji gets his news only from american sources: anything will do - russia today, bbc, written australian news, whatever... and it doesn't have to be about america either......

now to bashing jimmy fallon...... jimmy fallon is a comedian in america but it's funny (strange, not ha ha) because he never says anything funny..... when he fills out paperwork he writes: 'shaking a cup for money' under job title..... for interests he puts 'being a cripple'....... for gender he puts: 'nominally a male' or else 'pansy'........ nothing jimmy fallon has ever said has ever been funny....... can you remember any pulitzer prize winning war photographs? from vietnam? bosnia? africa? anywhere? the gruesomeness shocks you, the stark reality is a sobre chilling: it's not funny.......... but even jimmy fallon is LESS funny than this...... because we see that war is like a painful necessity, like cancer, but can we really say that about jimmy fallon? why doesn't jimmy fallon crawl into a tiny ball on the edge of a cliff and then let someone win a competition and kick him over into the tormentuous ocean once and for all to be splattered and broken bloodily on the rocks below? can anyone answer these questions? maybe if jimmy fallon has ever said to a woman, 'this is my penis', that would have been funny

see bs this morning just wasted a big chunk of time doing their al-qaeda bomb plot story about some norwegian guy...... just a waste of time, then the two anchors looked put on the spot having to say the dumb comments about wal-mart that the producers put on their teleprompter.... not wasteful talking to the robert bales wife though..... now they have some story about amelia airhart, today it's amelia airhart, tomorrow: anglo-saxon surname supremacy group --- not interesting -- is it possible earhart was just some dumb english (german/whatever) bitch with a u.s. passport?......

chimpanzee attack: that's right bitches, that's what happens when you stand next to a chimp after having a mexican born in the u.s. same as his parents who has no right to u.s. citizenship, and you have him sweep your floor and then go to africa, you're gonna get attacked by a chimp! you don't need to be a zoologist to figure that out bitches

'call me maybe' top tune.... that song is so stupid, that girl will re-incanate in africa and be gang-raped by a a tribe of zulus and then a gang of monkeys and maybe some hyenas after that, that will be her karma for that bullshit

now seth macfarlane is on.... family guy is funny but still, this tendency of pretending only people with anglo-saxon surnames can have talent has reached it's absurd zenith (that's why family guy is only good to watch once every 2 or 3 weeks or so).... have u seen benji lining up to buy a ticket to 'ted'? no..... might watch it if it's free...... seth macfarlane isn't even being funny now... why doesn't he just shut up and go back to 'family guy' and making that funny...... that's why this entire generation of americans over there in america are losers and proud to be losers...... coz of the whole anglo-saxon surname triumphalism.... they need bumper stickers that say: 'proud to be a loser'.... macfarlane hasn't said anything funny...... it's more entertaining watching republicans piss and moan about obama and democrats on fox news......

god starting to hate the guy interviewing macfarlane now (maybe he'll trip over and bite his tongue off with some luck?).... this entire interview is warping the procession of time... it just never ends....

dream from last nite:

was on some kind of skyriding thing like a cable car or something like that... sthmg happened to it - like to eject someone - eg., sitting next to me -- like they were ejected but i just kept hanging on with my arms...... then the cable car got inexplicably close to some theme park rides like crazy Ferris wheel and things like that

important blog addendum

addendum:  the terms 'huggin-n-poopsin' and like acquainted terms with similar phonetic value (e.g., hug-n-n-poopsen) shall be hereafter and for all time's sake replaced with 'death camp'


the specific term: 'ploopsie' in written and uttered form (always spelt 'ploopsie' except where unintentionally mispelt, shall be hereafter replaced with 'death camp 5'

'bronies': men into 'my little pony' cartoons; and 2005 vietnamese movie: 'living in fear'

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/its-colorful-and-innocent-guys-who-like-my-little-pony-turn-out-for-bronycon/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0497995/plotsummary

this vietnamese movie looks pretty 'real'..... countryside life is shown in a simplistic and well-shot, well-shotlisted way... there is also good use of colors...... the movie focuses on a guy called 'lai' who was on the anti-commie side during the war but was allowed to expunge his record however in the hubbub it turns out he had children with 2 wives (polygamy)... he becomes a mine clearer..... watchable

some 'reality' tv show called 'shahs of sunset' about persians in LA/beverly hills

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLnkbbaz3hw&feature=related