Saturday, December 31, 2011

new blog segment: ABBA song segment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92cwKCU8Z5c&ob=av3e

Friday, December 30, 2011

do u remember that white skinhead movie 'american history x'

its the one with the bartender woody from cheers who plays a white supremacist skinhead, there's a scene where he gets another guy who he doesn't want to hug and share sporting team cards with becoz his genetic background is african.... he gets the guy, down the barrel of a gun, to put his upper teeth against the lip of a gutter and then stomps his head -- it is a brutal scene -- absolutely horrible

for some reason, could never forget it while walking up and down a flight of stairs to apartment when shandong was home in early 2004... worried that would happen to my teeth if i slipped

random crap

u know, one time, around the time of the advent of the euro -- we had a particularly cute friend in paris, heloise... she was dabbling with lesbian-ism -- she was a virgo, and very cute, we were both young, and full of hormones...

the following excerpt is based on a true story:

heloise and the lad from england agreed to a picnic together....

'come on then love, we'll just get scoot over to the supermarket and get some avaocados and cheese, shall we then?'

as the english lad spoke, heloise went through a number of natural, biological reactions: her blood began pumping extra blood to her cheeks where the capilleries dilated, her breaths came in short, labored bursts... her vagina, goodness gracious, its lips parted and began drooling like a starving tornado victim watching a care package drop slowly from the sky on yonder parachute...

somehow, the english lad seemed unaware of it all... he seemed to consider heloise as some kind of english sporting buddy from his croquet team.... he gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder and said, 'fancy we'd like some bangers too heloise!' and tousled her hair

of tupperguddy and 'one tree hill'

there's a popular tv show called 'one tree hill' -- started watching it inadvertantly for a minute or so, just long enough to carry out my reproductive act duties, really... when after a commercial break, it seemed it was 'one tree hill' -- at first it had a little charm, but then it became apparent it was evil... it was evil becoz it was weak... and as nietzsche said, it's weakness should be encouraged to fail at the first instance, not propped up like socialists in europe prop up their fellow weak OR if 'one tree hill' can survive the challenge and NOT fail at the first instance, it would thereby become stronger, hence 'one tree hill' is a case for 'benji discipline camp' -- merely imagine a 'discipline camp' run by benji and some 'liddle buddy north koreans'....

'drop and give me 20!'

'keep those knees up!'

'you look that? you like having a knee in your gut, bitch! now clean the latrines with your toothbrush, you make me sick!'


moving on:

tupperguddy...... tupperguddy, like pulp fiction, features a case which is locked, however unlike tupperguddy, the pulp fiction suitcase is unlocked with the number 666 -- this is of course the number of the beast from st john's quizzical book of revelations...... you know that christians are schizophrenic, and the more they get emotionally passionate about some biblical nonsense, the crazier it seems, so much so that you watch it like a train wreck: out of morbid fascination......... here's a case in point: some crazy kooky catholics in new york state 'most holy family monastery'.... www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com

they have some dvd called 'creation and miracles past and present' -- some nutcase was handing them out for free the other day on the street.... anyway, in this dvd they actually give a very interesting explanation about what the symbolism for st. john's revelations are about 10 headed dragon and 13 unicorns and all that palavar -- they basically say it is describing the european union -- the way they do it -- they deserve a glass of cordial (kool-aid) and some lamington (some kind of sweet cake) for their efforts

one tree hill and the holy family monastery are stupid - avoid them

latest taxi shift

some pr guy customer said snoop dogg would be at 'back room' club in kings cross on new year's eve...... only $40 and tickets still available on internet... ben will be working but told my bro about it as our sister is visiting from spain and she might like to go...... her and i are not bffs..... jose said her and him have been busying redecorating marisol's (mim) room....... she spends way too much time there lying down praying to the virgin mary --- and that they probably wouldn't go as are still busy redecorating

then final customer told me he went to onyx concert about half year ago -- after ben mentioned onyx doing pr thing in western sydney....... he said it was right after he got out of prison for a dean month (18) sentence for stealing cars -- which his bro (the taxi hailer) had used for armed robberies... that isn't what you want to hear as a cabbie as you are defenceless against a knife stab to the chest...... but it's potentially better hearing about what nsw jails are like compared to listening to 20-something middle class chicks prattle neverendingly about their freedom loving romps which sound like regurgitated crap from american tv...... dumb hos

it's a pity so much white-collar crime goes unpunished or wrist slapped and guys like the car thief get such long prison sentences... he also mentioned they have to work in prison too

mentioned my 'tupperguddy' story might have been better than all of this year's xmas movie fair however the matt damon movie 'we bought a zoo' (which is we bRought a zoo in australian english) actually looks decent -- very possibly better than tupperguddy

Thursday, December 29, 2011

back in the saddle

3 month driving suspension over.... one more 11+ hour shift in benji's taxi driving belt...

was wondering: when south park ppl do nasty crap like kyle having his mouth attached to some guy's butthole for a fantasy cartman apple computers product - why wouldn't they put: 'based on a true story' banner on all of those scenes -- that would be funny

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

of darth mauls





'there's more to heaven and earth than fits your philosophy' (paraphrasing) hamlet to horacio his BFF.... in their world, most people didn't even have a basic awareness of all the nations and cultures that we now have in today's dissected and bisected and triple-checked-through world.... however, in fact, there are SO MANY cultures and languages in today's world, that NO-ONE can even begin to be COGNIZANT of them all... there are just too many to know about... this already gives an astounding set of potentials for possibilities, which are, in fact, played out daily on Earth -- which makes Earth an interesting place.......

take Finland, no-one even knows where the hell their language came from... the 'experts' know that all of europe's languages came from 'somewhere' -- so they call them 'indo-european' because presumably, they originated, like everyone else in europe, from india...... maybe.... but still, no-one knows where the Finnish and Basque languages of Europe are FROM....... studying their etymology, their words, reveals no connections, no relationships.......... nothing - a mystery

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

re-positing what this blog represents

this blog is here to hail quality things --- preferably artistic, but if need be, military or counter-military (terroristic) -- e.g., the 9/11 attacks, while carried out by the boogeyman, were quality attacks as represented by the u.s. govt types/fox news/cnn becoz they represent a killing of 3000 by only 19 people plus alot of collateral damage...... however, it would be argued that this would have caused alot of pain and suffering from iraqis and afghanis -- so whatever...

what we have found, in this blog, is that the americans are suffering from anglo-name-ism or just general weakness, whereby they are creating way too much crappy product in terms of tv/film..... exceptions to this have been outlined such as 'the big bang theory', some 'south park', etc......

other nations are too homosexual to create any television of worth unless you are 100% gay and into jerking off 5 dicks at the same time, including with your mouth and feet, with the exception of China, which occasionally makes good movies like 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon'......

most american tv is weak crap though, more into championing homosexual anglo-saxon-name-bearing-ism than anything else

the u.s. military, is, however, still performing well regardless, a great many of their soldiers being hispanics anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmKGRLjIzVs

there is nothing of quality that the russians do worth mentioning in this blog as we do not delve into digging hot bitches in this blog

this blog posits that western do-gooder lamey types that make up the majority of the western 'press' like reuters, AP, etc are merely alcoholic moslem angry young men who scream 'wallah akbar!' and 'wallah, what not', before knifing you for your nikes

movie review: enter the void

'enter the void' presents us with a kind of 'arthouse' movie experience and also like an american movie made in japan..... saying it was 'shot' in japan would imply it had a bigger budget than it probably did...

in any case, this movie presents us with some interesting things, however it is extremely long, like 3 hours long, now while you may have been able to watch, riveted, the entire 6 hours of astronaut saga 'the right stuff' as a kid, it is unlikely you would want to watch the entire 'enter the void'....... also, some of the soundtrack background music is too annoying and intense

the whole movie is very intense and very psychological

basically, some kind of loser scum american kid is in japan working as a drug dealer, his sister, who, like him, had been orphaned, and then separated from him at an early age, and who has also turned out to be scum -- upon re-uniting with her long lost brother, she becomes a go-go dancer/slut... her loser brother switches her on to drugs too

this movie has a great deal that is original and interesting...... not least of all it's use of shots/shotlisting... such as POV (point of view) shots..... it also features alot of behind the head shots which is uncommon in movies and alot of tracking shots walking from here to there, etc..... and alot of its dialog scenes are well done, however the movie uses too few of them and too many psychological flashback scenes and suchlike that have no dialog at all

it also features an interesting premise which is the journey of the Soul after Death in the event of foul play...... it is said (outside of this movie) that when the Soul goes through 'change' or 'death' - if there has been foul play, the Soul will stay behind and try to alert its loved ones

however, the makers of this film have completely perverted that notion by having the Soul stay behind and do that and also witness its sister having sex, getting an abortion (which means, you, the movie viewer can watch some japanese surgeon stick a long metallic tool inside her hairy vagina - no detail is spared -- not even the sight of the bloody fetus afterwards, not something to watch while you are chowing down)......

at the start of the movie we see, before the male american scum guy is killed, we see his psychedelic drug experiences with the movie's unique POV shots

nevertheless, while it features a lot of annoying soundtrack sounds (also too intense), alot of intense colors in the 'mis-en-scen' (that's miz-on-son with an ossie accent, mind you), and too many graphic scenes, sex and abortion.... this movie does have a lot of interesting elements and is very original --- it is also too long:

the viewer does not feel inclined to watch the ending.... speaking of endings, recent movie review 'the ridge' -- that movie had an unusual ending which spoiled some of the things the modest filmmakers had achieved

more on south park

just saw another south park recently -- kyle's mouth is attached to some guy's butthole who is on his knees... another guy's butthole is attached to kyle's butthole... that is just paedophilia... what is wrong with those people?

got so drunk on xmas eve -- couldn't get out of bed on xmas day --- then did like two really solid craps after that and drank loads of water but wasn't till today that most of that water came as of my butthole -- mostly like 1 liter of water with a little feces material... can u believe it just perculated in the large intestine for 2 days while meantime some rock solid shit was coming out.. normally if u binge drink you would immediately have diarrea... disgusting anyway... just like south park

u know what would be good on south parK? it would be good to see an episode where robin williams gets raped by something zany and kooky - maybe like a zebra or sthmg eg., on a safari in africa........ and maybe have like nichole kidman play some screaming tennis player that makes people's heads explode by screaming so loudly after serving/hitting the ball -- why wouldn't the south park perverts just jump to do that and make that happen asap? maybe email the benji when it's all done and ready?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

---Tupperguddy, the adventure's edge---

well, if you've seen any of this blog, you realize it's just a disjointed bunch of rambling crap....... more mundane and irrelevant than disturbing....... just a lame pathetic stream of consciousness, a Bangladesh of a blog instead of a muscular western european economy of a blog... but now, putting aside considerations of film-making technique like shotlisting, and dumb anti-english murmurings and pseudo-gay murmurings of great classical music composers of the past, without any further ado, we present you with:

a christmas story(R) (note: R is for Recommended)

and you can probably be sure that this story will be better than any of this years christmas movies...........

---Tupperguddy, the adventure's edge---

once upon a time, in a land far, far away, on a different planet in fact, in a different galaxy, in a completely different solar system, their lived a bi-pedal creature named Tupperguddy.....

one day, Tupperguddy found a container... no-one in his world Plooperville, had ever seen such a container, in fact, the Ploopervillians (not villains or vaillins but villians) were a bi-pedal folk who mostly eschewed possessions, occasionally using something akin to a banana leaf to cover various body parts, mostly for protection against cold winds and rains and the like...

Tupperguddy carried the unusual find, the wooden container with a lock on it, around town, looking baffled at his fellow bi-pedal folk, giving them quizzical stares, as if to say, 'what am i to do with this strange object?'.... the people, typically responded by blurting: 'Tupperguddy!' and carrying on with their business.... the society had no such hierarchy wherein there were village elders or chiefs or any kind of leader where Tupperguddy could take his little wooden container with its lock in it....

therefore Tupperguddy merely continued to carry his little wooden container with its lock on it (it was locked) around town, to and fro, wherein the people said to him, 'Tupperguddy!', in booming, assured voices, merely piping his name to him, as it were, and carried on with their business

end of chapter one of ---Tupperguddy, the adventure's edge---


now see how this silly little story is already better than this year's christmas movies? movies like 'puss in boots' and 'new year's eve' and whatever else is out there, you can bet your bottom dollar that ---Tupperguddy, the adventure's edge--- is better than that, took 5000 less people to produce and 100 million dollars less to make! so there you have it! Tupperguddy!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

(nerdish) parameters


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A (rihanna: rude boy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJHtgJjaA3I (Star Wars: Episode VI - Battle Of Endor (Death Star Assault)

let A = B+3 = x where x>5
___
c^2

and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plPyJdXKIY&ob=av2e (<5 but >4)

then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqL1BLzn3qc&ob=av2e (《2部〉4,日格??)

i know what you're thinking buddy: 'that's all good and well, but i don't have a spare spaceship to knock the Death Star out with'...

you have a boom box, iTunes to download all your favorite Rhianna songs with, and youtube clips too, but no Spaceship to take down the Death Star and you WANT to take that Death-Star down...

that's what China is for buddy, let's go there...

okay, so you've landed ANYWHERE in China, what do you observe:

a) the air is polluted and the environment is hella polluted, way beyond anywhere else

b) everything like cigarettes and alcohol, coca-cola and McDonalds and KFC are dirt cheap...

okay, that's great, what China will help you do and get all your CHI and stick it in a bag labelled 'whatever'.... just keep on going doing whatever there, just being, your CHI will end up in a bag labelled 'CHI' (or whatever you call it).... just keep on keeping on there and that's what you'll end up with............ now fly to California and find the HOLLYWOOD sign...... have a russian girl (100% russian) take you to the 'H' in HOLLYWOOD and bury your CHI bag there... should take you about an hour or so..... now flee when you're ready... could take a month to a year to be ready to flee but when you're ready to flee... just flee -- you won't have any CHI, only a bunch of crap in your brain.... after fleeing you'll realize you have been left with nothing but a bunch of useless crap and you'll have to look to wherever you've gone for something else

if, dude, you've been successful after all these measures, you should be able to listen to the blues brothers, rawhide, on your personal sound system, presuming your earphones are any good...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5N35kQAPv0 (blues brothers, rawhide)

but just remember buddy, while you've been goofing off, someone's been out there fighting a war 'for yo' arse'....

(just have a look! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmKGRLjIzVs ) did you see them miss a shot while you were goofing off buddy??? just drink some coke and do whatever; silly pants!)

a Mary car* (* pronounced ca)

okay, don't wet your pants in anticipatory excitement, just yet, but my new song: a Mary car* (* pronounced ca) will be very similar to this simple copy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

back-tracking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pMrE0LNSdg&feature=fvwrel (greatest 80s movie of all times: the wanderers)

(excerpt from teh [sic] Benji's blog January 28, 2010 - approx. 1 year ago)

after an hour or so of flying, Beethoven had come to from his Nitrate-infused forced-unconsciousness that Mozart had brought on unbeknownst to Beethoven...

'gee, must have fallen asleep, must have been tired, what time is it?' asked Beethoven...

'look outside, the sun is setting - we're flying over the Atlantic over the Canary Islands,' answered Mozart, 'i've prepared something for you to eat -- come and join me...'

Beethoven read the words from the television screens and moved over to sit across from Mozart... 'this will be a lot tastier than what you've been eating lately...' said Mozart and passed some utensils over to Beethoven wrapped in a clean, elegant cloth ...

as Beethoven started chowing down on the excellent food, a question arose in his mind, again, Mozart must have seen it coming a mile away...

'how do u know i'm the real Mozart?' asked Mozart pre-emptively as Beethoven read the words on the screens about him...

Beethoven nodded his head.....

'check this out,' said Mozart, and had some music by Pearl Jam play on his audio-visual system... 'rats'... said Mozart... 'also what you've been eating lately...' added Mozart with a laugh... over the sound system played the Pearl Jam song and on other screens a program Mozart had been playing with showed all of the music written out musically along with a cheesy bouncing ball indicating the passage of the song for Beethoven's deaf benefit....

'now watch my Mozart-i-fied version,' said Mozart and now Mozart could hear his new Roccoco-fied, uniquely Mozart-ian version of the Pearl Jam song complete with sophisticated sopranos and tenors hitting notes that could awaken unused parts of the human brain, trumpets and trombones triumphing -- violins and violas and cellos competing in harmonious unison as only Mozart could make them do.... Beethoven read the music for the new and improved Mozart version and his doubts were dispelled.... that unique style that he had heard as a little kid and harkened to was right there in black and white.......'

food sure was better than the rats of the previous days....

'so what's with all this?' asked Beethoven, who couldn't even hear his own voice anymore -- indicating the boxing gloves, the jet -- 'the 21st century?' asked Beethoven -- how did all this come to be?

'this is all a ruse to make lots of money, if you haven't figured it out already, these are a time of talentless and stupid people, writing music in these times won't guarantee you any income.... art, film, literature, the movies... it's all non-sensical trash,' said Mozart, 'that's no way to make money in the 21st century... the boxing matches are a freak-show that can briefly entertain some of the idiot drone masses out there and turn a very pretty dollar if we rig the fights and know who and what to bet for... but that's a short term view to accumulating wealth... after that, I want you to go into business with me...'

'write music together?' asked Beethoven flattered.

'You haven't been listening to a word you've seen represented from vibrations emanating from my voice through this wonderful voice to text software.... the future is in technology and finance... we should become investment bankers and multiply our wealth --- gold is down now as the markets are feeling less chicken -- it's a great time to buy -- precious metals are still a commodity that can make us a fortune -- we'll allocate 7% of our funds on govt. bonds trading.... 10% for the Shanghai stock market....'

on and on went Mozart, about the numerous ways to double, triple and quadriple investments, all legally, how to avoid paying tax legally and avoid criminal prosecution by avoiding situations like the upcoming fight with Rhianna and the inside betting.... derivatives, bonds, hedge funds... Mozart couldn't stop talking about finance and was initiating Beethoven in the intricacies of speculation in the global financial markets.... and we'll go 50/50 right down the middle Beethoven, only remember to knock that Frauline out cold in the 6th round....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A (rhianna: rude boy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMP6jx6fXMM (他国打点耷)

pearl jam to mozart

this was very nerdy... but going back almost a year now... to new zealand... we should remember the 'allusion' from the pearl jam song 'rats' to any (ANY) mozartian opera with it's amazing and astounding singing.... let's return to that theme now:

here is Pearl Jam's song: 'RATS' -- a non-whiney song as per Pearl Jam's typical song (as alluded to recently in the Judge Judy blogs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOf1awNHmf8

to go to a Mozartian opera now, to draw an analogy, without resorting to any greater drug than nicotine or money, we go to the marriage of figaro or the magic flute (without resorting to the sitcom, the big bang theory)...

i know what you are thinking you dumb stupid bastard!!!!: you are thinking: try topping the Queen of the Night aria from the Magic Flute!... already you are raising your hands and holding your head in superior delight thinking that that is better than Pearl Jam's 'Rats' ha ha!

think again foolish mortal!!!!

listen again to Pearl Jam's 'Rats'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOf1awNHmf8

imagine it now with Mozartian background sopranos (as outlined over a year ago now)

teddy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e82VE8UtW8A (rihanna: rude boy)

Unite Ted: States of a Mary car*" (*pronounced: ca)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=to-jCxxX-sM (gypsy kings: djobi djoba)

this is an appropriate time to discuss the Benji's hair-style...

later we will post the Benji's Song: A Mary-car* (*pronounced: ca) f*ck yeah

the Benji's hair-style recently had a change... there was a zone which was dread-locked which needed pruning.... if you imagine planet Earth as your skull or cranium with Greenland as a dread-lock centred-zone as you look at the Pole Star with your eyes scanning the Big Bear zone of Stars.... that big-arse dreadlock... lop it off! -- then tie it up on a little separate pony tail... and imagine where the Aurora Borealis is way back behind your head, a little Aurora Borealis there, lop that off!

that's two elastic bands to tie up your 2 little pony tails... stand-by for explicatory photograph! and also a very big and solemn question: how Russia did you Goof so Horribly?

Friday, December 23, 2011

movie time with the benji

well it turns out Auburn also has $2 dvds... the clear winner has been 'plane dead' -- this is an excellent killer zombie movie set on a flight from LA to Paris, made or released in 2006... now if this movie had been playing in cinemas in america in 2005, the writer may have been inspired to live out his life in a different way and history today would look different, however, the creators were not a year extra ahead of their time in this respect... nevertheless, an outstanding killer zombie movie, marvellous

next we have 2004's 'the ridge' -- a low budget horror movie -- has just started -- looks okay... then we had 'death and texas' about some football player that is found guilty of killing someone during a robbery, it was total crap...... however we also had 'defcon4' a canadian movie from 1985 featuring music by vivaldi....... this was NOT a bad movie......

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

random stuff like 9/11 conspiracy stuff and south parkey stuff

9/11 conspiracy stuff:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK-Mt7gr2EQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvay28lZiHU



south parkey stuff:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK0Vo-rK1dM&feature=related


here we see that jedi mind tricks do not work on taidarians or whatever they are -- watch out for that if you're a jedi and dealing with a taidarian....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgZwYi9zwrw


hey and if all of the above isn't enough of an audio-visual feast for you, check out the calendar: you see a date, right? that means it's time to get out the moisturizing cream and 'go out' on that date (whatever it is) -- you know, just you, yourself... and your little reproductive organ.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog8ou-ZepE&ob=av2e

the BIG BANG THEORY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROllcRNrGI4

finally, you decide that the Hollywood sitcome: the BIG BANG THEORY, has outclassed you enough, you do not have enough talent to challenge them so you decide to poison them with a litre (pronounced 'leader') of industrial strength DRAIN-O....

then you will get the idiot victim 'the BIG BANG THEORY' to create the greatest techno album man has ever heard, and you will take credit for it and revel in the glory, mwa ha ha ha ha, finally: victory is yours!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L93-7vRfxNs&ob=av2n

Monday, December 19, 2011

the BIG BANG THEORY

WATCHING the hilarious and heart-warming sitcom, 'the BIG BANG THEORY' you become dazzled with admiration, but at the same time, gnawed by jealousy and irked by the insurmountable obstacle of comedic excellence that they challenge you with, so that finally, you begin to hatch a plot to thwart them, you invite the 'BIG BANG THEORY'S' wife to your home to learn more about whatever it is 'THE BIG BANG THEORY' sitcom is cooking up in store for us... you, Salieri, will thwart 'the BIG BANG THEORY' -- you will crush God's happy creation once and for all!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvmJ-5MijLU

Friday, December 16, 2011

the BIG BANG THEORY

HAVE you ever heard of the classical guitarist that was so impressed by some virtuoso, he decided to cut his own hand off... if you've ever held a handycam, or written a comedy series, that is how you might feel after seeing 'the BIG BANG THEORY'

or, like the writer, you might feel like Salieri, hearing the 'voice of God'...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGSzeHKgHfI

if you've been deluding yourself with some dumb blog, thinking that it will be great only posthumously, thus explaining your own obscurity, watching 'the BIG BANG THEORY' will cure you of your delusions...

if you can overcome your jealousy, and shame at your own impotence and incompetence... then watch 'the BIG BANG THEORY' and imagine you are a classical composer from the 18th century (even the one and only Mozart)... imagine yourself wearing frilly collars around your wrists, and a cool wig, like Thomas Jefferson wore, and literally strutting, filled with inner fire as the guardian of some priceless magnificent talent, strutting with your elbows out slightly, about to stand up in front of an orchestra and throw your hands around for an hour listening to the greatest music ever created and then strut off to mind-numbing applause... feeling sick (but sick in a good way)

or be evil, plot the murders of the cast and crew of 'the BIG BANG THEORY' -- whatever makes you happy

if you decide to impersonate 18th century composers you might like to watch George C. Scott's movie 'the whipping boy' and imitate the appearance and gestures of the handsome king (he is very handsome)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGWVBO1peX8

Thursday, December 15, 2011

today's essay: THE BIGGEST LOSER

today's essay question is: 'the biggest loser'... what is a loser? what is conquest?

generally, some people suppose that 'happiness' and 'strength' are the winningest traits....

however, being a winner, really, is about being positive... certain tests, certain karma, necessarily involves

suffering and discomfort... take our brother Jesus being crucified by the romans... this is a very painful experience...

does it make Jesus a loser if he chooses to go along with it to demonstrate his 'turn the other cheek' principle? no...

if you are lacking, or without, or going through an ordeal, or a trial, or suffering from cancer, or some disease, does this make you a loser?

having or not having, winning or losing, doesn't necessarily make you a loser... what makes you a loser is being negative... and what makes you a winner, is being positive

by putting a positive spin on exceedingly challenging circumstances, you are winning..... by creating poison by constant negativity, by habit, wilfulness, stupidity or whatever, you are being a loser

some people may say to you: in life there are no winners and losers, only winners, because everybody is evolving... this is true...... but anyway, the people who are excessively negative are massive losers anyway, whether they are rich or poor, pretty or ugly, educated or superstitious...

therefore, if people are poor in africa and india, are they losers for this? no... if someone is washing their own clothes everyday while you are spending the same time eating processed and processed again artificial foods that will end up giving you cancer along with your neverending lack of exercise and your constant playing computer games and gossiping all day long at your so-called job -- you are actually the loser, and the poor guy in india washing his own clothes is the winner -- if he has positivity in his heart --- even if you have positivity in your heart, you are too bourgois and stupid to be a winner

and this brings us to the ultimate loser: the creation of the russian....... the russian, the self-recognized arch-scumbag of the planet, has delighted only in one thing in the 20th century: creating and inflicting the worst kind of misery out of sheer spite.... this has been the true joy of the russians, and if their empire was evil, this was why....... and then we come to their victims: the glorious soviets of eastern europe and asia.... the nations under the 'soviet umbrella'......... these people are, without question, in every respect, the biggest losers the Earth has ever known

if you are winning a basketball game by 100 points and there are 2 seconds left on the clock, the only way you could lose it would be by handing the reigns over to the losers of eastern europe (for the eastern europeans embody, in every respect, the complete and utter idealization of the utter biggest loser --- they know this too, in their pathetic hearts - and they have only russia to thank for this, who in turn, delights in their misery and pathetic-ness)

how would you lose that basketball game? the eastern europeans would bribe the sign-point-system guy... all kinds of people, to make a dollar any way possible except through honest hard work

take a bow eastern european commie: you are the biggest loser on the face of the planet (and it's not becoz you're broke, either!)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

couple of movand ies seen of late

well in mount druitt -- hometown area of western sydney -- at the local mall which is pretty big -- there's one of those $2 stores and they have a bin laden with $2 dvds... some of them are pretty good movies and kind of arthousy stuff that you wouldn't necessarily find at blockbuster with all the adverts there and numbers and marketing and such --- there was one movie made in 2004 with kelsey grammar from frasier and some high school kids that get involved in some stabbing or some crap like that and then some other movie some kid that was in 'spy kids' or something and he plays some kid whose lies all turn true and such like -- it was made in 2007 - 'full of it' or something like that......... they were entertaining movies....

welll it's 7pm here but the sun is still high up -- however this summer has been the coldest by far in my 25 summers in sydney and one of the coldest, if not the coldest ever, statistically speaking, on record...... some people say it's natural stuff like the earth changing on its axis, but at the risk of sounding boring - if you burn half of the world's supply of petroleum and a very big proportion of its coal -- that's what you can expect...

moving on.... expect a gay love fling in the next instalment of Judge Judy fantasy....

oh yeah, watching that movie with kelsey grammar... reminded the benji of meeting some young people like early 20s - mid 20s (maybe the one in LA was older).... in NYC (long distance freight train hopppers) and LA (one dude) --- both times, with months in china behind them... like a background... you feel the people's energy and you see they have their 'neters' (like in 'her-bak') - - the energy of their own country/nation wherever they've been..... it's hard to get on the same page with them in a sense coz you feel also your background was like in china at the time -- hard to explain...... everything is in the mind... memories... what you recall -- your beliefs

remember going on a bikeride in china one time through fields..... you know that feeling where you know there's nothing to strive for, nothing to yearn about, nothing is gonna get paused or missed or skipped and there's that deep down needlessness to worry beneath it all -- that's not even an aspect of a person or people...... ?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

D'Judge Jewdie

Judge Judy: the people call musical group Pearl Jam to the stand

Benji: what's wrong with you people? why don't you lighten up a little bit? is that how
much it rains where you're from? why don't you sing something cheerful for once?
what do you want, your following to start slashing their wrists or something

Judge Judy: stupid hippies, get out of my courtroom -- this is my playground you're sullying

Benji: go sing sunshine, lollypops and rainbows and take a vicaden or some tablet or pill
or something -- try cracking a joke or something -- frowny pants!

Judge Judy: next case is jimi hendrix versus his dentist

Benji: Hendrix you've been playing your guitar with your teeth --- you're really stinking
the place up, when's the last time you had a shower buddy?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6Z7LR8Z9_o&feature=related (jimi hendrix - all along the watchtower)


Judge Judy: next case, the people versus the King

Elvis: thank you ma'am, thank you very much

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx1_6F-nCaw&ob=av2e (elvis presley, a little less conversation)

Judge Benji: is that true bitch? you said you thought U2's Bono actually had a dick??? r
you fucking insane? answer the question

Judge Judy: answer motherfucker!

Judge Benji: just get out... nice song though... what's the next case Judy darling?

Judge Judy: funnyman robin williams versus the democratically elected leader of the British and their tourism agency AGAS... mr cameron sir, did you Aborigines of Germany fail to provide mr. williams with a proper holiday?

Judge Benji: wait, what does Mr. Williams say?

Robin Williams: well while down under i was supposed to see the giant dick'ead and massive
wanka monuments and i given a brochure your honor that showed some caves
with red cool-aid simulating blood raining from the roof which was meant
to simulate a bloody cunt your honor

Judge Benji: it sounds very sexualized, why didn't you just got on a hot-air balloon
tour

Robin Williams: you mean like a giant arsehole hot-air balloon where the gas burner is like
an arsehole farting?

Judge Benji: you some kind of a pervert boy?

Judge Judy: answer the question you disgusting fucking pervert!

Judge Benji: next case the fishies of the world's oceans versus Conan O'Brien

Judge Judy: you make me sick....

Judge Benji: uh, i feel diseased just being around it, get it off me, get it off me
--- dirty disgusting fucking animal

Judge Judy: you're a sick piece of shit O'Brien, i hope you fucking rot in hell


http://news.yahoo.com/insight-day-europe-lost-patience-britain-111034956.html;_ylt=AoRKmznRhpcixBwOsJGtLED79XQA;_ylu=X3oDMTRvZGt2M3VuBGNjb2RlA2dtcHRvcDEwMDBwb29sd2lraXVwcmVzdARtaXQDTmV3cyBmb3IgeW91BHBrZwMwZTNmY2VhZS1lMWU3LTMxMjUtYTY0OC05NzEyOGEwZjg3MTcEcG9zAzkEc2VjA25ld3NfZm9yX3lvdQR2ZXIDY2MxYTdkOTAtMjQ0Zi0xMWUxLThhNGQtZGUyMmQ0MzljYzZl;_ylg=X3oDMTJ2NjJ0NTUwBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDODNkMmY5MDQtNzMxYy0zY2RjLWIzYTctOThhMWFlY2QwNzI2BHBzdGNhdANzcG9ydHMEcHQDc3RvcnlwYWdlBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3

Zdudge Judy............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bH57MnJIjkc (Judge Judy, the loveable, judgemental megalomaniac)

Judge Judy; Benji, wake up, here's a case you're gonna like: NWA - niggaz with attitude versus
NWA - northwest airlines.... wake up

Benji: huh? what? where am i? ask the aliens what they want, if they're willing to
communicate.... microwave... microwave....... melt the cheese..... tuna
snapper...... (snores)...... wake me up for the pearl jam case... try to
keep the noise down.... (snores more)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgInoVbM77E (nwa - straight outta compton)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsM2ndVZkNY (nwa - northwest airlines)

in the Nietzsche case, Nietzsche is asked who should represent his sundry defamers of the world and he opts for the schizo old drunk alleycat guy that plays Santa Claus once a year... 'he'll do nicely,' said Nietzsche... obviously he wasn't really Leonardo Da Vinci, the real Da Vinci was busy preparing another dissected foot encased in a jogger to be tossed into the current off the coast of Puget Sound or somewhere thereabouts...

Judge Judy fantasy spirals on...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfI6PoEXDKQ (lil bow wow - freshazimiz)...again

Judge Judy: 'okay, the next case is one william h. gates junior versus a mr. leonardo da vinci who alleges his Codex has been allocated somewhere else and he wants it back... mr gates...'

mr. gates: 'your honor, i bought that book at an auction in london, this is some crazy old homeless guy who works 1 week a year playing santa claus and spends the rest of the year boozing and lying in a garbage-strewn alley-way... and i have reams of evidence to substantiate this assertion, your honor, and i've organized it meticulously...'

Judge Judy: 'okay, okay, hold your horses... what do you say mr. da vinci?'....


next case: comedian Robin Williams versus Acme Germanic Aboriginal Societee (AGAS)

Judge Judy: 'mr williams you allege you were promised a 3 or 2 and a half star package
tour to a famous Germanic Aborigine heritage listed special fancy site, museum,
thingy, whatever, on a recent trip to Australia, is that correct?'

robin williams: 'that is correct your honor...'

Judge Judy: 'and you weren't satisfied with the holiday you were apportioned because...?'

robin williams: 'well your honor....'


* * *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdbrIrFxas0 (the blues brothers, twist it - shake your tail feather)

Judge Judy: next case one german polish philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche versus society in
general seeking punitive damages for defamation and slander... Mr Nietzsche
you claim you are owed damages by society in general for slander against you
in insinuating you encouraged the nazi uprising in germany with its subsequent
holocaust of the jews and tearing asunder of the european and global maps

Nietzsche: that is correct your honor...
...........

Gates vs. Da Vinci...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRwwUZLV-IE (apocalypse now -- the end)

Judge Judy: ok mr. da vinci, you're being represented by your lawyer, montgomery burns
.... that's
excellent.... now you say you challenge mr. gates has any evidence proving his
assertions and in fact all he has is a pile of letters from agent orange victims
in vietnam with hands growing out of their shoulders and eyes on the sides of
their heads like picasso paintings, pleading for help from his charitable
organization

mr. da vinci: excellent

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4-AAxRH0Eg&feature=related)

Judge Judy: mr. gates, is that correct... can i see your evidence?

william h gates iii: no your honor, if you'll look at my documentation, i've ordered it
chronologically and indexed it in the rear...

an odd da vinci invention...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_82IYrdM2vU (u2 - the fly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrch66gdjjk&feature=related (more u2)

an odd da vinci invention was a kind of giant knife... maybe 10 metres long, like a giant grim reaper blade which was wound up all tight with gears and cogs and set to spring unlock when soldiers or soldiers on horseback approached a gate... eg., in a medieval castle.... by burning or striking a rope, the spring would unlock the reaper with tremendous force and 5, 6, 7 or 8 horsemen knights riding abreast would be brought down, the horses beneath them being literally dissected by the massive scythe

needless to say a device like this could be used to neutralize u2 (and Dan Brown too!)

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/mysterious-planet-sized-object-spotted-near-mercury-154443870.html;_ylt=As95lYElN1_mYnWnxbmEdGes0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqa3Z1NDgwBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzYzZmMzZTI2LTQ3ODktM2IxYS05MTlmLTdjODA2YjQ5MTFjMARwb3MDMgRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgMyOGI0YTEyNi0yMWI2LTExZTEtYWZlNy1jZmE5MzM5YjMxMzA-;_ylg=X3oDMTFvdnRqYzJoBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QD;_ylv=3

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Judge Judy fantasy -- you and Judge Judy versus. the Donald

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDeWM-gn8sE (DMX - Lord gimme a sign)

you, the Benji (some kind of relatively harmless nut), and your new partner in crime, Judge Judy call forward defendant Donald Trump (the Donald) and prosecuting team featuring unlikely nexus of poverty stricken slaves of chinese factory run by Apple I-pod peops (pronounced peeps) and Republican GOP party stalwarts of the united states of america....

you, the Benji: 'ok mr. donald, you've been talking a breeze up lately about how china is screwing america over and now you face charges of libel and defamation... what do you have to say in your defense...'

the Donald: opens his mouth to speak...

you, the Benji: 'try to say something intelligent...' you prompt...

well for sure it looked like the Donald was about to open his mouth and speak a bunch of total crap from his rarified bubble that no-one in the world can even relate to and you were about ready to literally throw a massive tome at his arse (figurative not literal arse as you probably would have struck his upper bod with your big book on law -- we digress).... the Republican stalwarts using the Chinese factory slaves would have won then, as they sought to shut the Donald down as he was making Republicans look unprofessional and even Democrats were humoring the Donald to use him to make the Republicans look bad and the Donald wasn't getting it as he only knew what he knew which most folks couldn't relate to his dizzying heights of business-man-ship....

but then... from no-where it seemed... a beat box started up... and the people in the court spectating stood up and suddenly were wearing clocks around their necks like Flavor Flav and they did begin to clap and the Donald amazingly went into an excellent rendition of DMX's 'Lord gimme a sign' -- flawlessly, so that you and Judy could only look at eachother, pleasantly surprised and began rocking your heads from side to side in harmony with the music.... and the Donald just rapped that DMX song and strolled out of that courtroom into the sunset....

judge judy fantasy... gets milked some more

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1f7eZ8cHpM (stevie miller band: fly like an eagle)

Judge Judy is on the same page as you about the Ernhardt guy:

'yeah, give him that shit you were just smoking and shut the f*ck up motherf*cker!' she spat... and gives you a high five...

... in the next case, the two of you concur again on some washed up rock stars being stupid f*cking useless hippies and they are ordered to have a haircut and be de-loused...

but the next case brings on a scion or little separation thingy (whatever they are called: disagreement, that's it) between the two of you...

in the case, an afghan suicide bomber who was thwarted in the act of detonating a bomb and the prosecuting side is the u.s. military who wants him imprisoned for life without parole...

'this guy should be sent to the chinese side of the border to live out the rest of his natural term of life as a mcdonald's burger maker at a mcdonalds in china... with no option to retire until age 70 nor leave China ever,' you judge...

'the f*ck he should be,' barks Judge Judy incredulously, 'this fleabag has to hang!'

judge judy fantasy.... further caseload:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTs6oQx1WJY (britney spears... 1,2,3)

after your first initial case on Sharia Law (in Berlin, Germany), you, the Benji, find yourself with your new partner in Law... Judge Judy, in recess having a bite to eat...

'so did you ever make any trouble for your mother when you were a teenager?' you (the Benji) ask Judge Judy...

'what are you talking about? i'm human aren't i?' replies Judge Judy

'so your mother's jewish, that makes you an anti-Semite... just wanted to figure that out...' you respond

'f*ck you,' says Judge Judy and wipes her chompers with her black robe, 'let's go judge some poor bastards...'

'true dat bitch...' and the two of you step out to judge...

Case 2: the State of Upper Saxony and Silesia versus Vernhardt Ein Sternen...

you (the Benji): 'ok look i'm gonna cut this case really short... you're fucking guilty as blackest sin and you can give me that shit you were just smoking, want to go to jail?'

(to be continued)

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

case 1: sharia law stoning of cheating wife

judge judy: this case makes me sick... Sharia law, really makes me sick... and presiding with a judge that doesn't even know what his last name is

you (benji): if u feel sick, call a doctor, that's not me... and do u draw, write, visualize or engrave your last name -- gimme a break -- case 1: akmed mohammed acuses his wife of infidelity and wishes her to be stoned by their children

bailiff, please present the evidence.... (examines pictures) -- this evidence is damning, text messages saying: 'Dear Walid, please make love to me tonite like you did yesterday, i cannot wait to take off my Burqa for you'... and look, here are pictures of the two of them doing it in the back seat of a taxi -- there's no question.... this is damning evidence

judge judy: this is unconscionable, how can we permit this woman's children to hurl large stones at her which will break her bones, in front of the grandmother and the entire village

you (benji): the law's the law, take another look at those pictures, does that look like 20 chinese men in the galley of a junk ship throwing dice while they stand around in a circle with their left foot on the person's right shoulder next to them while they jerk off in unison?

CATCHING up on daytime TV (non-cable variety)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4&ob=av3e (eye of tiger -- original version)

feel like frittering some time away? accumulating money can wait for a different day? perhaps you've had enough of do-gooding 'helping others' since it always backfires in your face?

and you've got no cable???

sure we can see you nodding stupidly, you're drooling all over the floor numbskull! close your mouth up, that's better

now you know if you have testicles (permanently attached to your own body) that watching THE VIEW will cause you to want to stab yourself after trying on pink boots and rubbing your nipples and fantacizing about a sex-change operation --- so don't watch it! too much estrogen buddy, stay away from those crazy broads

Dr Phil, yes, Dr. Oz, not as good as Dr. Phil but what can u do? you got it buddy, JUDGE JUDY! mmm Judge Judy, now you can open your mouth to drool dummy!

you can just see it now... insert waving screen effect and harp music like in brady bunch episodes where they do flash backs.....

you and Judge Judy are doing a special from Berlin, Germany, the entire world watches as the two of you sit on the bench, resplendent in your black robes.... you get to judge moslems and western crusaders, Judge Judy is shut down by your expansive knowledge of Sharia law.... you get to over-ride here and permit stonings...........mmmmm Judge Judy......

Monday, December 5, 2011

returning to the topic of my brother



NOTE: ALL VISITORS TO AUSTRALIA WILL BE ADVISED THAT UPPER BODY APPAREL 'SWEATERS' ARE KNOWN AS 'JUMPERS' IN THE LOCAL VERNACULAR -- NOW YOU KNOW


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HppiPzObQE&feature=fvsr (lee harding: eye of the tiger)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkmEZs_Kcms (green day: american idiot)

well, as mentioned... me and my bro (joseph stalin) have been catching up mightily of late --- and this is a great way to avoid the stain (my father in law from communist russia - and not even a real russian, mind you) and the stain's presence in my own personal home... which it seems like a good idea to abandon soon, once and for all, for all time's sake

so what can you do when you kick it with uncle joe? play chess man, he's great at it... he almost always wins, but sometimes rarely you can beat him... watch Waltons re-runs... avoid too many debates about Christianity (he believes in Eternal Damnation: God will torture particular Souls in an afterlife eternally, neverendingly, without pauses or respites (presumably, i added, because he'd get a sick perverse kick out of it -- non-merciful sicko -- that's my bro's God)........ anyway, let's not judge our brothers' God(s).......

he also likes Hell's Kitchen... never did like that show much, but couldn't believe how much the Gordon Ramsay liked some Basque cook in London, God he liked that woman! normally it's like he hates everyone! good thing he wasn't bossing me around and hurling insults at me -- would have gotten a punch in the head for it!

went to church with my bro -- only 2nd time -- first time was such a long time ago -- cannot even remember when -- same building -- different time... they're some kind of 'Assembly of God' church -- like born-agains -- their worshipping seemed sincere and humble -- mostly singing -- with an electric guitar/singer/sing-along and basic drum kit.... a lot of 'i love you Jesus'

the only thing that sucked was the 'missionaries will "save" Souls in Cambodia' just by vacationing there and handing out some bibles (?!) -- can you imagine a caucasian being more spiritually evolved than an asian (if so, more than 0.5% of them?)... so if asians are more spiritually evolved, at a higher plateau, how can some caucasian moron 'save' them? my only criticism of my bro's church, apart from that, their worship seemed sincere and humble enough

in the bible Paul mentions 'mysteries' and that it's given to some and not others to know them..... but they're out there for the learning... and if you want them, you can have them.... learn them now fool!

http://www.rosicrucian.org/

donna fargo

isn't this a touching song? makes you want to cry (the funny face song)... it's so touching

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESBDXvOFRCc&feature=related (donna fargo) - funny face

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0267305/bio

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMXAMR28nq0&feature=related (donna fargo - happiest girl...)


it's hard to know how to get into country music --- there's alot of good stuff out there, no doubt... but if you don't know where to start

you know how it is, you don't have a country background... you've heard some great country music but don't have a clue how to indulge your interest... all you can think of is that scene from the blues brothers where they have to sing 'rawhide' to keep the people happy

(watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5N35kQAPv0 )

and speaking of great american tv

while spending more time than usual lately with my bro who i have affectionately nicknamed joseph stalin (forever and ever - and by the way, he thinks Putin's a 'dickhead').... fox news is foregone for the Waltons re-runs.... do not dismissively dismiss watching a re-run of this show so easily... in fact, your homework is to immediately watch some Waltons, preferably an entire episode, not just 2 minutes on youtube.... 2 minutes isn't enough, a nuclear bomb can destroy an entire metropolis of 5 million in 2 minutes, but it's not enough to watch an entire Waltons episode, so please, an entire episode.... class dismissed

and the winner is....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daen4mBHzXc (donna fargo; superman)

and now morgan freeman will announce, in his intriguing voice that could get you to eat your own turds before suddenly spitting them out after the putrid taste hits your mouth.... the winner for the greatest tv producing nation in the world of all times sake forever and ever:

you guessed it! it's America! THAT'S RIGHT! the US of A

here's (yet) another great american show: (big bang theory) -- so entertaining... just wonderful... you should go watch it now! if you're in china you can get the entire 4 or 5 years episodes in a box set for only $5! -- just ask your buddies in china to fly you a box set home soon! you won't regret it! this show is worthy of a BOX SET

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898266/

now while america has been making great tv (and also barbara walters*), the rest of the world has been busy too, making crap! here's an example of what it looks like:

(worker and parasite from 'the simpsons' - itchy and scratchy were not available)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyxYdj9dGcI

take a bow america, you've earnt it! everybody else can carry on making 'worker and parasite' episodes

that's is all!!!!!!!

* this is meant as: american has been making barbara walters - as well as great tv --- and NOT meant to imply that barbara walters has been making great tv (she hasn't been) -- we can pray for her