NEWSFLASH: spain says: fuck everything! let's clap in rhythmic pulses!

THIS JUST IN!

The old Nation of Spain has announced that it's citizens around the world -- primarily

in Spain will all simultaneously start clapping in rhythmic unison and tapping their

feet as they stand as if they're watching flamenco music --

Jesus del Valle in Salamanca reports:

"Fuck driving buses and all that shit a Nation, modern or backward does on a daily

basis to get by, October 14 has been declared 'clap like a motherfucker day' and the

entire Nation will say a big-fat 'fuck no' to working/sleeping/fucking/shitting/pissing/swallowing and other human activities and just start clapping rapidly all at
the same time

one scary arse dream i had when i was like 8 years old

china was bigger than a motherfucker and somehow their military had was secretly

developing a revolutionary and completely different kind of aircraft for war....

much bigger than anything else -- more like a flying aircraft carrier...........

it used a completely different technology for propulsion and upon completing /

perfecting this technology they would take over the world -- destroy america and

strangle freedom / free rights...........

just a dream --- but enough to make me wake up in the middle of the night all those

25 years ago all spooked

why i'm not a rich and famous movie director:

leonardo di caprio sits down with notable percy granger to discuss his new dan brown da vinci project:


leonardo: when i heard i was going to be collaborating with dan brown i almost considered getting a sex change operation so i could have a clitoris as part of my
own body to masturbate --- not one belonging to a separate living entity.......
possibly the only greater genius than dan brown in the world's history is leonardo himself!!!!.... but leonardo made all those war machines possible for those italian princes he was working for all those 5 centuries ago and we all know war is icky poo... dan brown, on the other hand, has invented no war machines for killing people and has only contributed to a small acre-age of rainforests being logged for paper for his books and anyway he drives a Prius!!!

how a mild epileptic episode might feel

years and years ago it seems --- farther back than the writer can remember since the last time --- the writer would occasionally have blackouts -- which fortunately never interfered with driving, all those years ago....... maybe it was a co-incidence that they never interfered with driving...... they certainly were powerful events....... a feeling of awareness of the oncoming event --- followed by a need to squat close to the floor or ground so as not to fall over -- placing of hands close on the floor or ground to maintain balance --- already by this stage of crouching in anticipation the brain was already receiving some kind of strange chemistry and vision would start to become impaired by greyness and then dissappear...... but the mental state that ensued is hard to describe........ although the entire blackout typically would only last 5 to 10 seconds at most....... in the 1 or 2 seconds where it was at it's most intense it seemed impossible to control the body -- which would -- in any case -- often maintain itself in the squat with hands on ground/floor position ---- mentally -- at these times which probably only took around 3 or 4 seconds --- normal consciousness was gone --- an awareness of timelessness came about --- but not at all mystical or ecstatic as it was too fast and often in conjunction with a change in auditory appearance (along with the loss of vision and sense/physical motor control) --- it was like being tasered or something -- but it never hurt.......

STRANGE DREAM

what a strange dream last night......... curacaos in venezuela........ and a storm

was approaching very nearby --- and one of these nasty climate change storms that come

from nowhere........ very scary.......

it seems like the big public hurrah about climate change -- all the mumbling about doing something about it without actually doing anything about it actually may seem
to subside in intervals when the weather seems okay........

hello secret mistress

you my blog are my secret mistress..... i fly to you to avoid all responsibilities -- the practical side of life........ like those eternally depressed, world-wearied souls -- especially the ones living in places where it always rains...... those kinds of people who wish they could go to sleep and never wake up....... you are my eternal sleep - blog

why i suck

i don't know if other people suck as much as i do -- i guess they do if they're in prison or rape their kids or such --- i would think that even if somebody has a whore or their life-partner shit on their own chest for sexual gratification that they might not even suck as much as i do for that reason alone.......

in studying metem-psychosis, or the Doctrine of continual Return, or re-incarnation (where we reincarnate constantly as relevant life species, i.e., always as humans -- not as monkeys or parasites or butterflies) --- we learn that sometimes it falls to a Soul to be mediocre it's entire life, or unsuccessful, or amazingly successful, or famous, or disabled or what not.......... and yet, where there is a will, there's a way, as they say, and the potentiality for excellence, even if that excellence be considered commonplace or nothing according to materialistic worldly standards (and let it be said that rejection of 'materialism' should not be an excuse for failure or mediocrity).........

certainly life is a game, and we certainly do have free will even if we must inevitably be subjected to the results of the will of others

will you have to drink 5 quarts of african sperm in the afterlife as punishment for your inhumanity?

under this unlikely title --- i will take up the reigns on my unlikely blog,

and gentle giddy-up the flea-ridden, toothless old nag of a donkey or mule that

my blog-writing mind has become....... where were we? let's take up the topic of

South Park --- everyone - the proverbial everyone - along with whatever pathetic

knowledge they need to get by in the carbon-dioxide-roaring West and in Russia too

for that matter, well not everyone -- but very many people know about the makers of

South Park.... these two men, who i thought were still both unmarried and happily single -- although it turns out that the sicker, darker more Catholic of the two has
indeed married. I was going to say that they would be enjoying their Bachelor lifestyle until Death....... other notes on these two: that even in Russia, the land that is responsible for the existence of North Korea -- that has backed Iran, the Palestinians -- in short many of the proverbial 'bad guys' according to the American perspective... these guys are mainstream to some extent... i don't know much about viewership of South Park in Russia but i take it that they are fairly well-received there and amid squabbles with oligarchs and un-Russian races of former Soviet Republics and Kremlin critics of that inter-generational pig-fucking - african sperm made milkshake drinking Putin (named after the short form of the Spanish "puto" (slut-man))-- that South Park and Trey and Stone or Parker do not register even a blip of trouble-making in Russia's sphere of influence......

it's not clear probably, how much usage of drugs like cannabis, ecstasy, LSD, cocaine and heroine, speed, crack and meth have played a role in the production of South Park.......... what is certain is that the gay couple's first creative frolic together was a film the two made at University in Colorado as tender (anal) virgins (that is, virgins of the arse) when they were in their early 20s --- this film, a musical, no less, made by University students at such a young age, featuring choreo-graphed dance scenes like some Old Western movie with real Old Western sets and real - seriously well done choreographed dance scenes -- you have to watch it to see it for yourself -- this is really an impressive movie as seen in that light...... it has a spirit of youth -- is funny -- and, frankly, it's hard to understand how they could come up with such a good movie at such an early age and probably on a very low budget..... this kind of achievement typically isn't rewarded in terms of oscars and grammys and so forth but it seems like an amazing achievement........... also, it's an entertaining movie........... these two have made a number of other movies, and i haven't seen them all although they are very popular in western culture and probably in eastern europe and russia and very possibly in africa too one would think (and this would be an interesting topic to know more about) although doubtfully popular in China and probably popular in India too............

one of their most likeable creations was a Taco that pooped ice-cream........ actually - in that very same impressive episode of South Park that featured the ice-cream pooping Taco --- the whole reason an Alien appeared to the south park boys as an ice-cream pooping alien was because it's real form was so scary and hideous that it would be too terrible and too terrifying for the south park boys to behold -- and this insight or 'profile' to use law enforcement jargon -- into the trey parker matt stone psyche shows you their great potential as terrorists. However neither of the two have expressed any interest in perpetrating thermo-nuclear war and actually, very few, if any, copycat killings have been linked to South Park, apart from some elementary school beatings of red-headed children, which perhaps does indicate that they are indeed potheads..........

nurturing my blog -- of Australia Day (Jan 26) -- Salsa dancing and what not

hello comers........

gee things seem to have been tizzi-fyingly busy lately...... what a rush..... despite having found the most wonderfully and perhaps despicably accurate (?) statements by Nietzsche on the English (basically just describing them as utilitarian but very boring plodders who believed the sunnum bonum of all of the very many strain's of mankind, for the English, was, nothing less than winning a seat in the English Parliament) --- anyway --- maybe i'll include that great quote of Nietzsche's at some later point........

i'll be sure to distil poison at this blogsite in the coming (but not in the sexual arousal sense of the word 'coming') weeks........

moving on... in what may come to be a great posthumous blog .... assuming the unlikely case that anything better than the idiot man currently inhabiting this planet will come along (unlikely) anytime in under say 20,000 years or so......... i will say that of the many great materialistic things we humans do -- and that's basically all we do except for when we sleep and wake up and like say, 'oh i dreamed i was eating donkey dick', i highly recommend to you salsa dancing......... i went and did some salsa dancing lessons with the lady lady just a few nights ago and it's really something impressive to see it all in action when people actually know how to do it......... i might add, after doing a dance lesson with a number of heavy women who were some one foot lower than me in height (being that the writer is just over six feet in height) that there's a real noticeable difference in dancing with different partners depending on their legs, height and body weight - being a centre of gravity thing........

moving on....... yesterday was Australia Day and what a swell day it was......... to any non-Australians who have never been to Australia I most highly recommend they do so in the summertime and so as to fit in January 26 into their visit....... of course it marks the day some utilitarian, boring English plodders dumped their refuse (not Puritans mind you) although probably still replete with 'can't moral tartuffery' (to quote Nietzsche) onto Australian shores (in 1788) --- thanks perhaps, to Australia being a very ancient continent and subject to the laws of retardation in it's Flora, Fauna, geology and general evolution --- the English were able to evolve a new strand of Englishman here: the 'Aussie' (not to be confused with the 'Ossie') --- often a rude, smutty, obnoxious fellow, completely devoid of charms, politeness and benevolence and given to interbreeding with very strange combinations of races indeed -- hence evolving into the general modern Australian that is everyday breaking all world records of carbon-dioxide usage -- moreso even than the Americans....... so a little different from the continental Englishman............ anyway, on Australia Day, you can even enjoy the company of such as these, so long as you're playing Volleyball with them (Volleyball is another one of the great materialistic pursuits we humans have come up with along with Scuba diving and parachuting)..........

well, again moving on, as I like to have a Hollywood-ian element to this blog --- as it pleases the writer to keep an eye on those movers and shakers that take care of our thought processes when we are stuck in public places with 'music' through their idiot-lyric subtle brainwashing .... and our great (coughing vomit up accidentally as i use that word 'great') actors who we prefer to hunch around a TV set and watch instead of doing physical exercise....... the "Arts"........ now you may know there is a magazine called 'Rolling Stone' magazine and that every week or month or so some famous person is featured on its cover........... recently it was one of the boogeyman's (Osama or Usama bin or ben Laden) brood --- being that Usama is a real Muslim's Muslim -- and an Arab no less --- he has four wives and children with all of them and hence a real chicken's coop of a brood........ one of his brood was recently pasted onto the cover of Rolling Stone magazine but i believe, and this from general daily newspaper reading as i would only read Rolling Stone magazine in a doctor's office while waiting or a discarded copy on a train if there were nothing else to read as Rolling Stone represents a certain strand of homosexuality that generally disinterests me, however, and this may prove to be interesting: in the general way that any idiot will say any idiot thing and we will be bombarded with a plethora of idiot information from multliple sources -- at least we of the high 'per-person' carbon dioxide emissions group -- this Rolling Stone magazine features some strapping young lad called John Mayer or someone Mayer...... I never knew who he was or what he's done with his life so ostensibly his main claim to fame was having dated Jennifer Aniston who became very famous all around the world, including in some surprisingly out-of-the-way places thanks to DVD technology and pirating intellectual copyrights -- because of some TV show called "Friends" that she worked on (which was actually an exploration of homosexuality in some way, shape or form)... anyway, this Mayer, it turns out, also has some connection with one 20 year old Country and Western Southern singer called 'Taylor Swift' one of the 'Yanks' as the Australians would say........ I'll mention in passing that Taylor Swift is some kind of Country and Western, Southern phenomenon after having sold more albums than anyone except Michael Jackson apparently........ not having heard her music, I can't recommend it -- only that it is of the 'Southern' genre -- this kind of music is more likely to address real life situations in a story-telling mode (when the singer isn't just congratulating himself on being an alcoholic and his closet homosexuality) .... now where were we? all of the people of the Southern states of America were fighting alongside the Northern Yankees during the Civil War against the Mexicans (according to the Australian 'all Americans are Yanks' doctrine) and something about Washington (State, not City) and Nirvana........... let's see.......

this Mayer guy, in his Rolling Stone article (remember I told you it's a piece of donkey dick or turd if you will, that magazine) was talking a whole bunch about the human biological act of masturbation, but what he didn't mention once, what perhaps, no-one has mentioned UNTIL NOW is whether it's possible for a testicle to become so SMALL as to DISSAPPEAR!!! during masturbation..........

and on that note i will post my blog and peruse the news some more and remind you that if you have never liked the NY Times so much, you should try watching at least one episode of 'Red Eye' on Fox news channel and catch the NY Times talking puppet there.

how i sought for peace or 'mein kampf for peace-en'

actually the destiny of the world, as it stands today may be as follows:

as populations and Nations have gotten so gosh-darn big -- and Democracies and gone from being 'individualistic' to just plain MORONIC in their bumbling blundering and lost staggering - groping around from here to there.... we now need the Chinese, who will never be a democracy to come and finally finish the job of the great global storm which we are beginning to conjure regardless of the whimpers of the right-wing deniers and the pro-gay poutings of the left-wing environmentalists....

everywhere, in the meantime, almost inexplicably --- societies are struggling to become more and more mediocre, 'yo - what is cool man? can someone please define it for me dude?'..................

eventually the sea of the 'individualistic' (but really bumbling sheep herd-man american that inaudibly whimpers something about be a leader -- what a joke) washes against the non-alcoholic non-slut arab world and a war of ideology ensues complete with suicide bombings, democracy in iraq and homosexual do-gooding from the American military in Afghanistan in an attempt at depicting still new forms of spiritual-crisis homosexuality not yet discovered and un-Earthed by the French in the 19th century......... We love you you gay faggots we call out to all U.S. military men 'leaders' (between quotation marks) and their little gay Arab enemies who are all too scared to kiss eachother on the cheek......................... is it that simple? almost...... you can figure it out for yourself...........

so i said to a meeting of U.S. military men and politicians and moved on and found a group of psychiatrists:

you filthy scumbags charge too much money to be of any use to me......... don't cheat on your wives and if you do, tell them so, was my advice to them and i added that they were incurable materialists fixated on buying ferraris and were completely lost Souls having precious little Soul left in them..........

i moved on and saw a statue of Nietzsche commending the terrible violence of a criminal's crime before it is whitewashed with morality..............

i came to a horde of suicide bombers and offered them some liquorice to munch on and told them that if ever i drink hemlock i think i would make my death a solitary affair and not end others' lives in the process but that i could see how far they were from Western values and how guilt-free they were of the global warming which was starting to affect weather patterns in their homelands: may God have mercy on your Souls..........

next, in my search for peace, i found Hitler had re-incarnated and was happily married and living a life of obscurity, nobody knew who he had been and anyway he seemed kind of like a nice guy, nothing like his previous encarnation...........

finally i found a horde of vampires that really and truly drank human blood and i said to them, oh shucks mostly i'm a vegetarian -- to which, like all non-vegetarians, they took offense --- and then i joined them for one McBloody meal.......

finally i came to a giant pit -- like those found in rural parts of communist china on long bus rides where one can shit in a giant pit and i went down into the hole with the shit and i said, this at last, is my peace so far

so many geniuses out there

thanks to modern living -- the 'emancipation' of women ---- education for all --- and all our modern gadgets.......... we have sky high divorce rates and a new societal structure where children are rarely fathered by their biological parents........ a society of idiots that just makes a man sick........ all manner of gadgets which make us all lazy and stupid and a society of waiting idiots happy to glue themselves to television sets.......... perhaps, worst of all -- the biggest curse -- 'education' -- take an american idiot to university for four years and the idiot thinks it is educated -- don't even think about the eurotrash et al out there...... the current goal of humanity is to 'push it to the limit' --- just go on with the idiot man monkey routine -- drive drive drive, consume consume, burn burn --- perhaps the saddest thing of all is that a truly great document, the Constitution of America refers to the pursuit of happiness -- which is good -- but how can a filthy disgusting naseating walking turd -- a will-less, spineless, alcoholic, meat-eating, slutty little pig animal pursue happiness apart from burning carbon dioxide................ do we wonder when spaniards say that they 'shit on god' or basically curse god ---- every attempt at morality and honesty that man vomits up inevitably turns out to be some purile pseudo-christian mockery.................. will we have a fascist leader arise, this time without only one-testicle like Hitler but perhaps with a quarter or an eighth of a testicle come along to kill off masses of humans.......... but how can we destroy a superfluous 10 billion people? the only way is to go on as we are doing as little innate Hitlers all of us and continue burning up what we can so as to overheat this poopy-pants of a planet........... so sad and pathetic to be a part of it all --- the noticeable lack of leadership anywhere........... the stone-cold blinking idiocy of man----the abortion and slash wrist of life by living on and on and on coldly, boringly, worshipping empty idols........... there is no hope for the future

the story of vomit

the story of vomit is the story of humanity.... oh what a story...... it should be set to a musical with songs like 'raping the planet' and 'what filthy nasty scumbags those humans are'

that old thespian coot Johnny Depp appears in front of a stage in thespians

Albaquerque, NM

At a small hidden town hall --- unbenknownst to the media, Johnny Depp rehearses back stage before giving what could be the most important performance of his entire lifetime -- both on stage and off --- awaiting him tensely are the thespian world's greatest lights of today who have called a secret meeting of thespians far away from the paparrazzi of california in order to determine the fate of the new, climate changed world........

Pew after pew, row after row of seated thespians bent their wooden slats under the weight of world renowned thespians who were now not at all focused in how they may look in front of the camera, in terms of botox, lighting, breast implants, make-up application, and so on and so forth... now these great minds that had been able to memorize line after line of the Francis Bacon's Shakespeare plays were now busy talking Real-Politick -- 'How shall we sway the public?', 'How shall we sway the Democrat party', 'How can we influence power in the Kremlin?'........ secretly making their plans to shine before the free and unfree world and guide it forward in these dangerous climatic-change ages..........

Meanwhile backstage, sweat dripped from Depp's brow....... he was all alone except for a female partner who would be helping him prepare for his all-important, most important appearance in his life before an audience of his peers TO COME SHORTLY... 'Come on Johnny! Focus, you can do this', said his well known acting partner --- and together they faced of to do some Meisner repetition exercises before the big event --- "you're exasperated" said Johnny's well-known female acting partner to him; "you're observant" replied Johnny........... the actors fine-tuning their craft together --- shortly Depp was able to assert his own will again and focus on his acting strengths -- he remembered his days as a Pirate and before that on 21 Jump Street and told himself, "i am Johnny Depp, i will wow them!" --- meanwhile his Meisner acting buddy partner finished applying some shades of pink eye-shadow to his lashes.... "let's do it from the top Johnny!"...... and the two veteran thespians slowly ran their fingers over their own buttocks (but not the other persons') which were tightly covered in tight clothing and sang 'i'm touching my buttocks'....

outside in the Pews, row after row, scores of veteran, wealthy thespian elite awaited this all important performance from their brother Depp---- 'use your power' one of them silently thought in positive prayer for Depp --------- above them the New Mexican dusk blew faint wind through the desert skies and the stars above twinkled in their vast, mysterious, unknowable Boo Radley like way.

The case of the United States govt. versus Dr Aafia Siddiqui

Tallahassee, Florida:

Famous names from the four big American Television sources: FOX, CBS, NBC and ABC Networks have all signed a petition saying that Dr Aafia Siddiqui's name is too hard to remember how to spell and that chocolate ice-cream is yukkier than strawberry ice-cream. Late night entertainers, Hollywood actors and veteran journalists have all agreed that chocolate ice-cream is icky-poo. They have also agreed that the boogeyman is real and that Osama Bin Laden is the boogeyman's disciple on Earth.

late night ABC comic Jimmy Kimmel almost said something funny recently...

but didn't.

when your bottom is full of chocolate

hey no that's not a reference to Ray Nagin and new Orlean's ---- i mean poop! ........
not i'm a mean poopy ----! i mean what to do when your bottom is full of chocolate!!!! well you're in luck coz pooping is one of the great things that all humans can do regardless of race, creed or color or religious persuasion --- just think -- even important people -- world leaders and big movers and shakers -- sure, once they get off the toilet and wipe their little bottoms with bunny-rabbit white rolls of toilet paper --- sure Vlad Putin and the rest of the movers and shakers squad out there are movers and shakers AFTER they finish their poopy ---- but just remember --- all those famous actors --- journalists jockeying for power --- lobbyists and industry leaders ---- in short --- the entire blessed Nietzsch-ian RABBLE is nothing but a bunch of poopers and bottom wipers! --- ain't it great! just like you and me.... there should be a whole new field of psychiatry opened up on it........ why is it that even when people are 'mentally disturbed' -- they're still able to poop and wipe their own butts freely? they can't be that mentally disturbed after-all, right? maybe they're just acting out of frustration at being nobody's in a world of across-the-board-mediocrities......... now this isn't a call to all the proverbial 'nuts' out there to pick up their hunting knives and start killing tennis stars because they aren't as rich and famous as Monica Seles was..... nor is it a call to people in communist china that practice cruelty to caged bears to get the bears to use white bunny-rabbits instead of toilet paper............ no........ it's just a call to reason, remember the great common denominator: the pooping and wiping of poopy from the bottom which forms a common thread to all of our humanity ---- next time you poop, reader, and you're looking at your brown poop smeared all over your white toilet paper like dark chocolate looking like a 1960s para-psychology test (is it a butterfly, a haunted house - what can you see?) -- i want you to remember benji the ossie spaniard comer and actually SEE my blog-photo image IN YOUR SHIT

Stay tuned for January 26's Australia day posting!

Mehmet Ali Agca (attempted Pope killer) sits down for a 1-on-1 interview with Hollywood heart-throb Brad Pitt

Mehmet: Hi Brad, I know you are very famous man -- I myself am Jesus -- you can kiss
the ring on my finger if you like: I am Christ eternal

Pitt: okay Mehmet, that's great, should i call you Jesus, JC or Christ?

Mehmet: Mehmet is okay... so you have been in big movie lately -- which one was it?
Benjamin Button --- or this Trinteeno movie about nazis?

Pitt: Yes, that's right, both of them.

Mehmet: So did you pack any fudge in either of these movies?

Pitt: No, neither of my roles required that i pack male, female, over-age or under-
aged 'fudge' in the movies

Mehmet: Great to hear, are the rumors true that you will play a crazed Texan serial
rapist of elderly women?

Pitt: No that's not true but only because of sporting football rivalry between
Oklahoma (where i'm from) and Texas -- otherwise i'd be happy to play a
serial rapist of elderly women on the big screen.

Mehmet: Oh i see, i didn't know about this footballing rivalry between Texas and
Oklahoma as i was serving time in prison in Italy and Turkey and was feeling
isolated.

Pitt: Yeah i heard about that, what was that for exactly.

Mehmet: Well first i killed left wing journalist in Turkey --- then i escape from
prison little time after this and i dropped some fudge in my pants and then
i tried killing Pope

Pitt: Why did you drop fudge on your pants?

Mehmet: it was probably combination of bad dates that i ate leading to need for
doing number two... anyway i am Jesus, all of world civilization will end
in this here 21st century.......

if you have a poopy-nookums....

hi --- it seems like everyday somewhere, somehow, we're all faced with a poopy-nookums.... fortunately no-one knows what a poopy-nookums is so it's never much of a problem -- just something we're ignorant of....... ignorance is great anyway, it keeps us down as humans and gives us a great reason to make the world a worse place....... moving on..... if you're anything like me you're probably the world's greatest violinist, 4 wheel driver, lover, cook, singer, songwriter, pro-wrestler and on and on and on......... here's how to cook something delish: go get an eggplant and wash it and slice it into 10 to 15 or so -- give or take -- it's all part and parcel of being the world's greatest chef (me)........ then go and beat 2 or 3 or 4 eggs..... start with 2 if you're not sure..... then after beating or battering your eggs soak up your eggplant slices in your batter and go ahead and fry it in some yummy spanish olive oil from spain -- delish........... let it cool and serve with sliced lemons..... yum...

how about some 'revuelto' -- it's spanish for 'scrambled' or 'mixed around'....... just gussy up some asparagus --- in chopped form -- not spears --- then get some eggs --- mushrooms and such vegetable things as you would enjoy in a fried meal and start frying your mushrooms...... throw in your eggs later -- asian style and mix it all around so your eggs are scrambled -- time throwing in your extras like chopped asparagus, onion (e.g., diced) --- even tomato............. cooking is fun....... that's the neat thing about life------ you get 30 years or more to cripple your health with smoking and you can cook the whole time thru!

poopy-nookums!!!!!!

is your bottom running?

LA: Dave Leno is said to have a sore tummy because...

he was busy on the set of Brokeback Mountain taking pictures for his private collection when he noticed a U.S. passport on a leafy gnoll -- it was none other than physics theoretician Mohammed Atta's --- apparently it survived impact of the vehicle Atta was driving with the world trade left of centre and floated miraculously out of a fireball that was hot enough to melt thick steel beems in the WTC and, being made of paper, it survived those over 1000 degree fahrenheit heats and floated on currents used by migratory geese and spent 7 years floating over the midwest before landing nearby Dave Leno where Mr Leno picked it up and said: 'hey this is neat!' ---- The FBI are said to be with Mr Leno now and offering him a tummy rub...... FBI spokesman Johnny B Good said that the FBI were doing their best to help Dave with his sore Tummy and that also they had updated their Osama Bin Laden happysnap with a photograph of one of Spain's national politicians who bears an uncanny resemblance to Osama Bin Laden without a beard... the FBI through spokesman Johnny B Good (who originally was from Louisiana and could play a guitar just like he was ringing a bell) said that by using the photograph of a current politician of Spain that bears an uncanny resemblance to Osama Bin Laden on their Most Wanted website that really, in part, they just wanted to see if they could be even bigger silly-pants than those "Down-Under" people who universally referred to all Americans -- even the ones from the South as "Yanks" (short for Yankees)...... The FBI went on to say that everyone from South America, the Carribean and Mexico is Spanish and that the people of Spain are from Puerto Rico (Puerto Rican) and that Osama Bin Laden is hiding out somewhere in the Spanish parliament with Quick Draw McGraw

daisy and hal

Country and Western singer of Sunday night fame - Tina Fey and gay activist Garth Brooks will be teaming up with Britain's Duke of Earl and the late Tobey McGuire to discover the reason the Incan civilization failed.

Climate Change Facts

The greatest climate change polluters in the world are as follows:

worst polluter: the Soviet Union

2nd wordt: Russia

3rd worst polluter: Lichtenstein (somewhere in Europe)

4th worst polluter: Fiji and the Dominican Republic

5th worst polluter: Africa

6th worst polluter: Taiwan

7th worst polluter: Alaska and Hawaii

8th wors polluter: Brasil

9th worst polluter: Georgia

is Mohammed Karzai of Afghanistan really Sean Connery?

how Cate Kouric, Newsweek and Time journalists et al will save us from Climate Change

The respected American intelligentsia --- or the Cate Kouric, CNN, Time magazine wonderful journalists and Newsweek journos et al are so wonderful and clever they are SHORE to save us all from the perils of climate change!

They are so very clever, they have all been to nice American Universities and studied journalism there, not like that silly old Sarah Palin who studied trash compaction at community college...........

now with the glorious motherland of America: the United Kingdoniam covered in ice and German truck driver's spinning their wheels on icy freeways (bad news for Europe's 2nd biggest economy after Malta of course)

however i am not gonna worrry about that ice storm or those violent winds in Argentina or this Hurricane Katrina (besides there was a really bad hurricane in 1832 anyway) -- i'm just gonna transfer all my wealth into gold ingots and hide them under my floorboards and go out and spend some money on fun board games for days when flooding or fires or other horrible weather makes regular day-to-day work impossible........... and i'm NOT gonna worry about it......

and do you know why? coz there are so many wonderful, marvellous intellects out dare [sic] out their writing for Time magazine and Newsweek and there's that Cate Kouric too............. so not to worry people! those folks are so gosh-darn BRAINY -- they'll be sure to fink of something clever to fix the problem (like putting wholes in our gas tanks or some such idea).............

just relax and have some scones and watch the horse-races ---- someone's BOUND to think of something soon!!!!!!

OF course Steven colbert from CNN is wondnerful

he's even better than wolf Blitzer!

he is just such a darling......... of course it wouldn't occur to anyone in their write mind to drill a whole in his brain and fill it with hydro-clorosis acid.

how to make it big in Hollywood

if you want to make it big in Hollywood and you are no-one --- the best thing to do is get a big name star, like that guy in the Big Daddy movies --- and Billy Madison.......

then learn how to edit films (always do your cuts on movement) and generally develop a good sense of how films should look estetically scene by scene......... you can buy a good digital camera for only $5000 and then make friends with industry people and save yourself hundreds of thousands of dollars in renting expensive lighting and sound capture technology as well as sophisticated editing suites (just give your friends lots of cocaine and you'll be ok) -- make sure the LAPD is looking the other way when you do that.

It's true that the entertainment industry is big business in LA but despite the fact that there are people just to choose which song will go in which part of the movie and people that only shop prospective movie scripts around and people whose sole concern is casting which actors and people whose 9 to 5 job is focused on product placement -- just remember that when pursuing your dream to become a big-shot director that like anything else: where there's a will, there's a way.........

now normally to land a big name star like Adam Sandler you would need your people to shop scripts to his talent agent or manager --- you can get all these details just by signing on to IMDB Pro.......... when you contact Sandler's people -- you want to look professional......... so go to McDonalds and buy a Happy Meal Deal -- the one where they give you a coloring-in set of crayons and make sure you design a really neat prospectus ------- Americans LOVE English people with strong jawlines and Hollywood movies are full of English people like Hugh Grant and Geoffrey Rush and the guy in the Wolverine Wolfman movies PRECISELY because they are English and have strong jawlines............ so if you can, find a friend that has 100% right royal english blood and a really strong jawline (like conan obe'ryan in True Grit) and color him into your Happy Meal Deal prospectus (remember to not cross the line when coloring in)..........

and you should be in like Flynnnnnny!!!!!

Best of Luck!

of Conan O'brian's Western movies.....

Yesterday i bought a couple of cheap dvds for $2 a piece --- what a bargain--- one of them had a couple of Conan o'bryan's Western (cowboy) movies --- that he must have made a lot of before doing the Simpsons (an Eastern affair with animation done in Korea) and Late night television (a Northern and Southern affair for O'bryen with shows taped in nyc and california) --- but i don't think o'bryon ever did better than his cowboy movies: last night it was 'Hell Town' --- tonight perhaps i'll watch his 'neath Arizona skies'........ in these Westerns he plays an unsophistacte -- down-to-Earth pirate that rustles cattle from one farm to the next and has a gambling problem and chases the ladies --- a regular "Jo" as it were........ someone the 19th century man in all of us can relate to............

Conan's later dabblings with Eastern philosophy and the Far East (the Simpsons TV show with cartoons made in Korea) are said to be tied in to a phase or faze of opium addiction or LSD usage as Obie'ryan was said to be channeling the 'world soul' or 'spirit of Gupta' (in his own words).

Later O-br'yeeon work dwelled on late night television where, unfortunately, he became oh too 21st Century...... in his Northern experiements (in nyc) he was most successful as he appealed to many people in the Eastern Seaboard states of america...... everybody in the West always thought he was stupid and only liked his cowboy movies..... and still do....... later when o'bryyeeeahmanon went to california he struggled with the biological changes produced in his body due to the different energy fields of the land as California is part of the ancient continent of Lemuria (along with Austrlaia and some pacific islands and new zealand)

some student film i made when 23

spain's 'mus' cardgame -- great to play when you're shut-in by climate change

if you ever go to Spain --- you might be witness to a game of 'Mus' --- not sure how old this game is or how it started but it does seem to be played across different regional and historical lines in Spain and it's history and a study of it's diffusion and exactly where it's played across Spain would be interesting..........

the game itself is great because it uses a set of recognized 'signals' for communicating your hand to your partner so that the chances of dumb tic-tac-toe luck are reduced and you can get down to booming: LOOK AT MY MONSTER!!!! with skillz-that-killz --- if that makes any sense.......

here's how it breaks down: Mus is played by 4 people where there are 2 teams of 2 people playing against eachother.... it's played with a Spanish deck not a French deck --- so no 8s, 9s or 10 cards........ and no diamonds, hearts, clubs and spades............ the Spanish and Italian deck has swords (espadas -- sounds like spades but it's swords), cups (copas - like copa cobana and lola), gold coins (oros) and big-arse faggots (sticks --- or 'bastos')....................

as stated -- 2 people are playing against 2 other people and each team may use standardized signals (passed by face only) to express to their partner what they are carrying -- the parnter farthest from the dealer -- or dealing -- will look out for their partners and opponents hands as passed through facial signals and bet accordingly...........

Mus has 4 major games: el grande (the big one) -- here, as the name implies, big is better, so the best hand is 4 kings -- and then 3 kings and a knight --- and then 3 kings and a jack (sota) --- then 3 kings and a seven and so forth......

note that in Mus all the 2 cards are really Aces and all the 3 cards are really Kings so actually a deck has 40 cards (being that there are no 8, 9 or 10 cards) and there are 8 kings (as all the 3s are kings) and there are 8 Aces (as all the 2s are Aces) so this leaves you with 'caballos' (knights or queens) worth 10 points as are kings and 'sotas' (jacks) -- then you have 7s, 6s, 5s, 4s, (the latter all kind of trashy cards in Mus)

the 2nd major game is 'la chica' -- spanish for girl or 'small' -- in Mus it means 'small' (not 'girl').......... and there's an old Mus expression: jugador de chica, perdedor de Mus: Chica-player is a Mus loser.......... in the 'Chica' round of betting -- the strongest hand is 4 Aces then 3 Aces and a 4 --- then three Aces and a 5, then 3 Aces and a 6 and so forth ---- the exact inverse of the preceeding 'grande' hand...........

the 3rd major game or betting round in Mus is 'pairs' or 'pares' ---- normally a good Mus team either has a strong psychic connection and doesn't need to pass signs much as in Spain i'd reckon a good Mus team knows what the partner has just by looking at their partners eyes and face --- but anyway, there are many standardized signals they can pass and we'll come to this............ --- in 'pairs' or 'pares' -- the strongest hand is 4 kings and then 2 kings and 2 knights ---- then 2 kinds and 2 jacks --- then 2 kings and 2 sevens all the way down to 4 Aces --- after that the strongest hand is 3 kings and then 3 knights and then 3 jacks (3 of a kind in Mus is called 'medias') all the way down to 3 Aces and then the best hand after that would be a pair of kings and then a pair of knights --- the pair of Aces being the worst 'pares' (pairs) cards you could have

the last major game is fittingly called 'el juego' (the game) --- here at least 1 player has to have cards amounting to 31 points..... if none of the four players has 'juego' (cards amounting to 31 points or more -- then instead of 'juego' you play 'punto' (point) -- but this is unusual) --- before you start thinking this is some hokey-arse 'Perfect Strangers' crap where everything that isn't American or British is dumb so this card game must be dumb, shame on you and read on sucka!!!!!!......

in the 'juego' or 4th and last game of Mus......... 31 points is the strongest hand followed by 32 points then 40 points then 39 points, 38 points, counting down to 33 points (the worst juego hand).............. to figure out your hand: all 'figure' cards: knights (queens or 'caballos'), jacks (sotas) and kings (remember there are 8 of them in the deck) count as 10 points --- Aces (all the 2s are Aces, remember) are 1 point, 4s are 4 points and so forth........... whoever is first to receive their cards from the dealer is called 'mano' and has priority and advantage over all other betters as does 2nd mano (2nd from dealer) and so forth --- so if all players have the same cards then the 'mano' -- the one closest to the dealer is gonna win it......

if there's no juego you just play a variation of 'juego' which is called 'punto' where 30 is the best score all the way down to 4 points (the worst score in punto)


now being that Mus is a team game.......... to win, in general, certain strategies should be followed: the Mano should pass signals to the Postre (furthest receiver from the dealer) and the Postre should do the dealing for the team as they are the last to speak -- of course it's possible to pass signals to the Mano and this would be done where it's difficult to pass signals because the opposing team is watching your face for signals............. in order to generally win, it's a good idea for the Mano to always go for 31 as they are gonna win 3 bonus points at the end of the game just for having this hand plus the Postre will get bonus points for their 'juego' too as he/she (the Postre) is on the winning team....... so the Mano will go for 31 and the Postre should look to win the 'pares' game ----

scoring: Mus games are played until one team wins 30 or 40 points (depending on where in Spain you play I suppose) -- winning 30 or 40 points like this is winning one full game or point and in total you can play up to 3 points or 5 points .......

how do you win your 30 or 40 points???? in order to win ONE SET or game point?
well every time you bet at the grande, chica, pares, or juego and your opponent pussies out on you you get 1 point (except in the 'punto' back-up 'juego' game where you get 2 points for that).... then at the end of the game whoever has the best 'grande' gets 1 bonus point and same for the 'chica' -- plus you can make bets with your opponents like 5 points or 2 points or raise them ad infinitum up to 40 points (ORTAGO!) at whichever hand............ at the pares you're gonna get bonus points at the end of the game if you're on the winning team (whoever didn't pussy out when it came to betting at the pares or 'pairs' game) -- so 2 pairs or four of a kind (it's all the same here, unlike Poker --- equals 3 bonus points) -- 3 of a kind equals 2 bonus points and 1 pair gets one bonus point............... 31 juego gets 3 bonus points and all other juego gets 2 bonus points -- but again only if you're on the winning team -------- that is -- you can win the juego and the pares just by scaring your opponents -- you don't even need better cards than them and at the end of the game -- if your cards really are worse -- or if they are kickarse -- you can hide them -- just showing the bare minimum to prove that you have 'pares' and 'juego' just so your opponents don't know how you're kicking their arse..........

how to pass signals: if you have 31 points you wink you're left eye........

if you have 'medias' three of a kind you jerk your jaw to the left a little - -although maybe this is only for 3 kings -- but i think it's for 3 of a kind in general coz if you have 3 kings maybe the signal would be medias and then bite your lower lip ---- go to Spain and figure it out......

remember: jugador de chica, perdedor de Mus.... but anyway --- if you want to show you have good chica -- that you'd win it -- stick your tongue out just a little while pursing your lips.......

raising both eyebrows means you have high pairs (2 pairs) and blinking or closing both eyes simultaneously means you have low pairs......

there is one special hand in Mus because of the mathematics of the game: normally the 'juego' is an important part of Mus (the last hand played) and it is won with a hand of 31 consisting of 3 x 10 point cards and one Ace............. HOWEVER, becuase of the Math of it all, 3 sevens and a 10 point cards also constitute 31 and this very rare hand is called the 'real' (royale) and the signal for this is passed with the right eye (winking) --- this hand is unbeatable in 'juego'

another signal is a lip-pouty you do (similar to 'chica' but without sticking your tongue out) -- it signifies you would win the rarely played 'punto' game (which is only played when none of the 4 players have 31 points in their hand)

gameplay is like poker at the start except that if everyone agrees to 'Mus' you can keep discarding unwanted cards until someone says 'but the Mus' or 'corto' (I cut - in spanish) -- at this point everyone is stick with their hand -- good or bad and the four games grande, chica, pares, juego or punto are played out and points are tabulated at the end of the four hands or cards are shown is players agree to an all out bet (ortago) of up to 30 or 40 points whatever one Set point constitutes......

This is a common game in Spain although I'm not sure that it is played in South America or Mexico, etc........... certainly if you're a tourist in Spain visiting for the running of the bulls in Pamplona (or elsewhere in Spain) you'd see people playing Mus there......

of Dianne Sawyer's struggle with homosexuality...

While not openly 'gay' --- Diane Sawyer is no trumpeter for gay rights.



Hence she has struggled with homosexuality. She has neither been a strong supporter for men ruling the roost -- witness her statements against the cave-dwelling Taliban and her positioning against female genital mutilation. Her position in matters of sexuality involving more than two participants is unclear and therefore it is not clear is she is pro or anti gay rights, at heart. As such, it is not really clear whether she has truly struggled against homosexuality or is, instead, a fairy girl herself. But if she decides to go queer we support her coz she is cute in a early 50 something kind of way.

All the best. You're all in my prayers.

the day i lost my Soul

i can't pin down the day my Soul left my body - finding it an unfit home to live in..........

but when i think back to this time or that time i remember that somehow.......... there was something different about it............ and it must have been that despite all my confusion and my doubts.................. i still had a Soul...................

life without a Soul is somehow manageable.......... i just have to focus on the functions of a sophisticated animal........... making money........... enjoying material comforts............ i guess i'll get my Soul back when i reincarnate as i slide out of my next mother's womb.............

and then maybe i will become re-acquainted with it in a future childhood - in a pint-sized body..... until, growing into manhood and becoming enamoured or disgusted with the twisted, warped puppet-act of idiot-mankind day-to-day life, that is: the world.......... only to lose it again part-way through life and to live on without it another forty years or so before dying unnaturally of a heart-attack or some such disease...........

at least i hope to Be it and Re-Live it in the afterlife........................ but in the meantime i guess i'll just go on being an idiot-automaton: an ideal citizen of the planet - a dumb jerk............ and Soul-less