that old thespian coot Johnny Depp appears in front of a stage in thespians

Albaquerque, NM

At a small hidden town hall --- unbenknownst to the media, Johnny Depp rehearses back stage before giving what could be the most important performance of his entire lifetime -- both on stage and off --- awaiting him tensely are the thespian world's greatest lights of today who have called a secret meeting of thespians far away from the paparrazzi of california in order to determine the fate of the new, climate changed world........

Pew after pew, row after row of seated thespians bent their wooden slats under the weight of world renowned thespians who were now not at all focused in how they may look in front of the camera, in terms of botox, lighting, breast implants, make-up application, and so on and so forth... now these great minds that had been able to memorize line after line of the Francis Bacon's Shakespeare plays were now busy talking Real-Politick -- 'How shall we sway the public?', 'How shall we sway the Democrat party', 'How can we influence power in the Kremlin?'........ secretly making their plans to shine before the free and unfree world and guide it forward in these dangerous climatic-change ages..........

Meanwhile backstage, sweat dripped from Depp's brow....... he was all alone except for a female partner who would be helping him prepare for his all-important, most important appearance in his life before an audience of his peers TO COME SHORTLY... 'Come on Johnny! Focus, you can do this', said his well known acting partner --- and together they faced of to do some Meisner repetition exercises before the big event --- "you're exasperated" said Johnny's well-known female acting partner to him; "you're observant" replied Johnny........... the actors fine-tuning their craft together --- shortly Depp was able to assert his own will again and focus on his acting strengths -- he remembered his days as a Pirate and before that on 21 Jump Street and told himself, "i am Johnny Depp, i will wow them!" --- meanwhile his Meisner acting buddy partner finished applying some shades of pink eye-shadow to his lashes.... "let's do it from the top Johnny!"...... and the two veteran thespians slowly ran their fingers over their own buttocks (but not the other persons') which were tightly covered in tight clothing and sang 'i'm touching my buttocks'....

outside in the Pews, row after row, scores of veteran, wealthy thespian elite awaited this all important performance from their brother Depp---- 'use your power' one of them silently thought in positive prayer for Depp --------- above them the New Mexican dusk blew faint wind through the desert skies and the stars above twinkled in their vast, mysterious, unknowable Boo Radley like way.