general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 81

while the three entertainers made arrangements to hide their privates like the biblical Adam with one of their two socks -- and in the case of Parker -- to also use a sock to make a dainty bunny-rabbit tail, the Black Rook was pissed, or mightily peeved to be more precise... while preparing to dishevel himself and after having hidden his chute for later retrieval with an electronic emitter within the pack -- he armed himself with a Russian made handgun and realized he was about to be discovered by a Taliban before his arrangements were complete --- he had no choice but to immobilize his interloper -- being that anger and illwill was getting the better of him, he decided to kneecap his discoverer.....

'aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!' shrieked the Talibani after first one then another kneecap was blown away from between his hams.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 80

Kiedis up and said he'd like reinforcement from his band-mates, the other (Red Hot) Chili Peppers and the Georgian handler duly noted it but couldn't promise anything.

The two South Park people enthused over their cool strap-on oversized tazers and over-sized hunting knives.

The three were ready to depart when the Georgian tobacco-chewing handler said,

'One more thing, now that y'aint flying anymore, you need to return those airman uniforms to Uncle Sam.'

'What?!!' questioned the three, 'what are we supposed to wear?' asked Kiedis, Parker and Stone.

'I reckon them boots you were provided with came with a pair of socks, that'd be about right now, wouldn't it?' said the Georgian tobacco chewer, and gathering up the three airman's outfits from the three recruits, threw them up into the cabin of the helicopter and mounted it to leave as its big-wing started increasing mightily and noisily its rotations in preparation for levitation.

As the chopper slowly rose, the Georgian handler bid the three entertainers adieu:

'Sock it to those ants boys, do it for Uncle Sam.'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 79

'so what's the plan,' up and piped Kiedis from the Chilli Peppers.

'Your mission is to neutralize the threat posed by those giant ants yonder,' elucidated the Georgian tobacco chewing handler as he spat another clump of tobacco out of his mouth. 'Here are some souped-up tazers and here are some big-arse knives - do what you have to do.'

'Now you said these ants were once Afghani women,' asked Kiedis to the handler guy.

'That's right.'

'Well, if we can get them to morph back into women, i'd like to bring them back to California and put them in a music shoot i have coming up,' affirmed Kiedis.

'Well the military is willing to support you in that endevour including making use of cargo flights to facilitate that -- or you can just tazer them and gut them with these over-sized hunting knives -- it's all up to you,' said the Georgian.

'Can we win a medal if we're successful,' asked Parker.

'Yeah!' enthused Stone.

The two had paid women hundreds of dollars just to lick their toenails, but a military medal wasn't something money could buy and something the two patriots would dearly love to earn.

'Afore you can win a medal you gots to earn you some briches, and afore that can happen you gots to win yourselves some pantaloons,' affirmed the Georgian before continuing, 'and the only ways to win yourselves some pantaloons is by earning them goddam it,' finished the Georgian before spitting another clump of tobacco.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 78

'Dude, doesn't this situation remind you of the episode we did on Afghanistan entitled -President Obama has farty pants- like a few years ago,' asked Stone to Parker.

'I don't remember dude, we've done so many shows now, how did that one go?' responded Parker.

'Well,' said Stone, 'Mrs. Garrison wanted all the kids to each send $1 to the kids in Afghanistan.'

---

While Stone reminded Parker of the episode of South Park they had created together years ago, the Black Rook was busy taking care of his chute after landing -- he wondered how it was possible the military could go on spending 20 billion dollars a one Stealth Bomber to bomb the Russians, post cold-war, but had not yet after 10 years of war within Iraq and Afghanistan, not developed a technology to remotely detect IEDS and then target them with cluster bomblet laser guided technology. Goddam retarded war. The Black Rook just wanted some R&R and a chance to watch some big booties swang in Bangkok as soon as possible.

---

'Nope, I don't remember dude,' said Parker as he dismounted the helicopter with the tobacco spitting Georgian.

'Come on man,' replied Stone, 'it's the one where they people in Afghanistan send a goat as a present over to South Park and then the kids want to return it to Afghanistan so they go to South Park's military base and tell the soldier's the goat is really Steve Nicks from Fleetwood Mac, which they believe and then the kids fly to Afghanistan --- so it's kind of like the situation we're in now.'

'Oh yeah! Nooooooow I remember,' remembered Parker.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 77

The Black Rook busted a nut (popped his chute) while his i-Pod switched to Tori Amos and Madonna's version of 'Smells Like Teen Spirit.'

He had been studying videos of John Walker Lynch and Shaggie from the Scooby Doo cartoon in order to fit in with the dishevelled, unkept, permanently bad-hair-day Taliban.

His chute had a harness that left him in a semi-seated position (furniture) and his arms stretched radially extended to their fullest in all directions controlling strings that guided his chute like a bird in the sky.

He looked below him and saw the landscape: a glint from the Alexandrian fountain near the Afghan government's Kandahar headquarter. The helicopter (now landed) with its rotary wing very slowly circumnavigating around itself and the three clowns from 'Hollywood' prepared to do battle with the killer ants. The killer ants themselves were visible in the distance, even their shrieks could be heard. Armored vehicles from the Draggins Trike operation could be seen.

The Black Rook pulled his chords down low and prepared to land.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 76

In California, while John Travolta flew a bunch of Oprah Winfrey audience members to Australia, the Black Eyed Peas stood slightly shivering in the early morning as a private jet taxi-ed towards them in John Travolta's backyard while they waited on his back porch..... the private jet would take them to the gateway hub of Dubai.... they were destined for the East to shoot some episodes of Russian Sesame Street --

of course, in the cyrillic alphabet, P was really like an R.... C was like an S.... H was like an N and U was really like an I........

they would be sure to wear more clothes than Nelly Furtado who had recently been blacklisted for wearing too little and rubbing up against Kermit the Frog

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 75

The Black Rook, if you recall how our story went, was the surviving Black Rook, that is, the Queen's side Rook, as the King's side Rook was despatched by Love of Hole (as the story goes)....

The Black Rook cruised on at what he called 18 milipedes (like the creepy crawly - only this designation meant 18,000 feet) --- after having despatched the three entertainers and overseen their rescue after a sudden wind blew them off course and over an old Russian minefield (not so old, after all, but merely a relic from the 1980s) ---

The Black Rook sat at a small desk that was bolted down to the interior of the plane in a small section of the plane that constituted a small alcove nearby the cockpit wherein the pilots flew....

He was about to go on a self-appointed reconnaissance/espionage mission behind enemy lines -- amongst contacts and people he had already established relationships with amongst the Taliban -- he had successfully passed himself off as a (non-American) African by presenting himself a certain way in both physical aspect and voice -- in all mannerisms he give a distinct impression that led his Taliban contacts to believe that he was really an African from some African Nation with strong ties to Russia.

Before he prepared to leave for his mission, he added some notes to his futuristic novel about a future Napoleon some 100 years hence that would rise and lead America to victory over Communist China in a massive war on the scale of (as yet unseen) world war iii..... while doing so he watched some Bill O'Reilly on fox news and even read a few more paragraphs from O'Reilly's book: "Pinheads and Patriots"....

after finishing with his novel for the present, he decided to take O'Reilly's advice once and for all and email him at o'reilly@foxnews.com in order to o'pine as O'Reilly put it:

Dear Mr Really (wrote the Black Rook),

Would you tap Hemmer, e.g., during an unplanned catnap?

Signed,

Sean O'Shannesy

The Black Rook figured he might as well sign his email with an Irish cracker sounding name since the crackers at fox news seemed to love the Irish so much.....

next the Black Rook took a hit of crystal meth so as to up the amount of dopamine in his brain 17 times over and feel like Superman (he was careful not to become a slave to meth and develop issues like rot-teeth or rot-brain and mostly only used it on rare and special occasions such as that which lay before him) -- he put on his i-Pod and started listening to MC Hammer and picked up a flag of the Soviet Union and made for the rear of the plane where an open cargo bay door fed blue light into the plane and which lead on into the airy light blue abyss below to which he lept....

his dress was no longer that of an American Army Officer and nothing he carried, apart from his unyet un-popped parachute would betray his true identity --- the Soviet flag he carried in his hand he would later transfer to his bag and leave hidden therein -- he did carry some A-Salts but nobody amongst the Taliban would know what this was for......... before he left his book and labtop computer a moment ago, he had doodled a picture of a little child stick figure dragging a tricycle along behind it (instead of riding it - as if out of annoyance) and captioned it: Operation Draggins Trike (for tricycle) as a sign of his disapproval of the latest strategy from the higher ups at the Pentagon and their so-called Operation Dragon Strike.......

nobody on his side of the fence knew about his surveillence and espionage work amongst the Taliban....... yet.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 74

On the ground, in Kandahar, Mohammed Karzai sat in his Kandahar office... outside his window stood a humble and simple water fountain, it was very old and still delivered a useful trickle of water -- legend had it it was built in the time of Alexander the Great when he founded the city and at the very site where he decided he would found a city there...

above President Karzai hung his family's coat-of-arms: a car with two eyes for headlights like in the animated movie 'cars', only one eye was covered up with an eye-patch and the banner beneath it read: 'Car's eye' and the Afghan transliteration: Karzai....... this had been the Karzai family coat-of-arms since the day of Alexander the Great.......

the previous night was a bitch, another party at the American Embassy in Kabal, and yet again, the Ambassador's wife, Ju-Ju Binx Connie Jung or whatever her name was had stolen all the cream puffs and left him eating pitted dates and figs --- figo!

as Karzai sat in the early afternoon, when the body's natural circadian rhythms were at their sleepiest, when Spain and Malta traditionally celebrated their daily societal shutdown by closing businesses, eating lunch and having a long rest before opening for business again, in contradistinction to the rest of the world... he sat thinking of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th wives of Afghanistan that were mutating into giant killer ants that squirted acidic skin-burning liquid from their newly grown mouth claws:

they are the real heroines of this country, he thought, not the sluts from the international coalition, not the purified opium extract sold around the world as high-level Afghan heroin, no, the real heroines were clearly those giant killer ants...

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 73

after a short while, a helicopter came along with a rope ladder for the three entertainers to mount the cabin.... after they did so, a conflict-specialist from within the cabin lowered himself on a ladder to pluck the three chutes the entertainers had used to fall safely....

once in the cabin, the three men were awarded some coffee, the three of them were nervous and careful not to be overbearing or obnoxious and decided to be as quiet and little annoying as possible --- like a good wife.....

at one point, Kiedis up and said:

"When are we gonna get a normal uniform like you guy's have instead of these airman's jumpsuits?"

The conflict-specialist that was disposed as their handler up and said with a strong Georgian accent, after spitting a portion of tobacco and spit from his mouth,

"Ain't no way to get briches but to earn them briches."

The three men registered these piece of information while around them men rolled up their chutes and the helicopter steadily rose above the landscape below.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 72

the Black Rook wasn't concerned about the three agents going AWOL with the glocks he'd packed them after the new, unthought-of scenario, as the glocks were fitted with remote immobilizers which the Black Rook could use to switch off the glocks -- effectively rendering them neutered

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part setentaiuno (71)

during the flight from Colorado, the Black Rook on the flight had mercifully induced some sleep on the three entertainers by rubbing some skin on their hands with a wet salve that forced sleep through an agent absorbed by the pores of the skin that was taken up by the blood....... while they slept the Black Rook had placed a radio/earpiece in their left ears and their jumpsuits had a microphone built into the threads of the fabric...... along with the parachutes (which the Black Rook wanted back) he had packed a glock semi-automatic pistol for each as well as food sources and some A-Salts -- what were A-Salts? For-military-use-only (as yet) salts - like Epsom salts that were rubbed onto flesh wounds and which had wonderful properties which were partially inspired and modeled on the action of maggots on flesh wounds (ie., that of disinfecting and healing open cuts) -- when rubbed onto flesh wounds, the salts, due to various chemical agencies were able to: absorb excess blood, stop bleeding through a haemoglobin agent, disinfect the wound, kill pain through a non-addictive morphine-like agent, stimulate immediate healing of the would through another agent that sent signals to the brain through a certain hormone to produce more white-blood cells quicker and faster.....

after despatching the three entertainers, the Black Rook on the plane realized that a wind was coming along out of nowhere and blowing them way of course toward an old (and of course still active) Russian minefield......

"squawk, that south-easter wind that's coming out of nowhere is blowing you toward yonder Russian minefield that you can see rushing up from below you framed by yonder orange grove and low hills... DO NOT MOVE after landing, i repeat, DO NOT MOVE after landing or you may die, remember to hit the ground rolling, try not to break any bones......"

a few moments later the three had hit the ground and according to the GPS sewn into the fabric of their outfits, had not moved after landing....

"don't even think about moving, not even to gather up your chutes," farther admonished the Black Rook.

The Black Rook noticed at his communication post by the cockpit of the plane that Stone was trying to make a phone call on his personal phone -- the number was listed in its address book as 'AGENT'....

"Throw your phone away immediately Agent Stone or I will call in an air strike to lock onto the vibrations it is releasing."

Evidently Stone threw the phone as it must has somehow freakishly upset an abnormally sensitive landmine by causing a huge explosion some 20 yards from where Stone landed.

The three entertainers stayed rooted to their spots.

"Do not move," said the Black Rook, "a helicopter will come by shortly to extract you, I repeat, do NOT move."

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part setenta (70)

hours later, after having sat uncomfortably for hours over the pacific or atlantic (who knew which way they flew?) hooded and shackled -- the three entertainers (Parker, Stone and Kiedis) had their hoods removed by one of the Black Rooks --

"I'm a Colonel and that's spelled C-o-l-o-n-e-l," he said to them, "not K-e-r-n-a-l."

The three men were suprised to say the least --- the Black Rook unshackled the three of them and said:

"Stand up and stretch your legs quickly and then put these uniforms on, you have five minutes," said one of the Black Rooks while unshackling them and handing each of them a jumpsuit that constituted their uniform along with a pair of boots -- each uniform had their last name emblazoned on it and was colored the typical U.S. Army khaki -- but only one piece -- not two....

"Good, keep stretching your limbs," said the Black Rook after pushing them to dress quickly, "now put these backpacks on," said he after delivering them each a large backpack and helping them buckle the front....

moving towards the front of the small section of the plane they were in he opened a door which caused air from without the plane to gust everywhere causing hair to fly around and skins to be blown on -- the black rook walked back towards the three entertainers and said:

"you're wearing parachutes on your backs -- after you disembark the plane, count one-one-thousand, two-two-thousand all the way to seven and pull the yellow chord at the front of your outfit....

before the men had a chance to exchange shocked glances, the Black Rook was bustling and pushing them towards the open door -- first one was pushed out, then after a few very quick moments another, and still another.......

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 69

Kiedis, Parker and Stone were brought to the nearest military airfield in Colorado and put onto a plane destined for Afghanistan - no stops - still hooded and shackled - the plane reached cruising altitude and held a steady bear ring towards Afghanistan

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxviii

moments later a special taskforce comprised of CIA and Delta Force Black Ops stormed the Comedy Central studio -- threw some flash-bang balls around the corridors creating noise, smoke and confusion and wielded guns, excellent strategic technique for indoor movement and yelled loudly......... moments later, Kiedis, Parker and Stone were hooded and handcuffed and rolling in the back of a large van........

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxvii

while Parker and Stone continued their pow-wow -- discussing next week's episode which would feature Woody Allen leaving his adopted-daughter-cum-wife for one of her turds (much to her dismay)......... Leonardo was selling them to the U.S. Military along with the frontman of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers --- Leonardo felt that Parker and Stone would be the perfect choice to take on the giant ant problem and that the Chili Pepper would be a good spokesman for non-monogamous marriages.....

"Will do Leonardo, someone from Delta Force and the CIA will swoop in fairly soon and kidnap the three of them and blindfold and hood them and bring them to an undisclosed airbase to be flown to Bagram in Afghanistan," confirmed Botticelli.

"Excellent," replied Leonardo.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxvi

Mr. Parker stood listening to his colleague read about the plight of Mel Gibson while he continued giving the gift of a soothing massage... he reached down for a smoothie as Stone finished and swished it around his mouth a little bit and started conversing in French:

"a-la-la!" (oh my, oh my) said Mr. Parker.

"c'est le folie! ca c'est sur!" (it's crazy, that's for sure) replied Mr. Stone.

Parker had started eating some giant prawns he had nearby him, sucking them and generally enhancing his French talk with French bon-vivant-ism in terms of enjoying his food....

"Mel, Mel, Mel, comment on arregler une probleme comme le Mel Gibson?" (Mel, Mel, Mel, how do you solve a problem like Mel Gibson?) asked Parker rhetorically making a vague allusion to the Sound of Music's famous song, 'How do you solve a problem like Maria?'

"Alors, ca serait une bonne chainson, quoi! 'Comment on arregler une probleme comme le Mel Gibson'" (Now that would be a great song, wouldn't it?! 'How do you solve a problem like Mel Gibson'), said and sang Stone.

While Parker and Stone enjoyed prawns and French language, Leonardo was being called from the room with the Amelie Pulin movie, the easel, Kiedis, the Rolling Stone reporter and Karen and Martha, they all pretty much called out together,

"Mr Da Vinci," your i-Phone is ringing!

"Ok, just press the blue button on the screen please!" called Leonardo from the glass pane where he was watching Mr. Hand finish his dance rendition of Metallica's 'Unforgiven' -- Da Vinci was wearing a small ear piece associated with his i-Phone and the call came through to him as he watched the end of Mr. Hand's performance with Michelangelo.

"Leonardo, it's Botticelli," said the voice over Leonardo's ear piece.

"Where are you? Still at Wright-Pat?"

"Yeah man, it's crazy over here, you wouldn't believe what's going on... over in Afghanistan, a bunch of the local women there have been morphing into giant ants and raging out of control all over the country."

"Morphing into giant ants???"

"Yeah man," said Botticelli in his raspy North American accent, "it's uber crazy man, 3rd and 4th wives, sometimes even 2nd wives are turning into giant ants and spurting acidic fluids from their mouths at all the people -- it's become a security issue for the military -- right now I'm in charge of keeping it all hidden from the Media."

Leonardo listened attentively, unsure what to think about it all -- as he listened he ambled down the corridor away from Michelangelo and came to another door with a glass pane like Mr Hand's quarter. Leonardo stopped before the next door down and looked through the pane at Parker and Stone within.... what he saw was Parker eating prawns and then moving his head (as he stood) over Stone's upturned head (who was seated)--- it appeared that Parker was feeding Stone the same way a bird feeds its chicks by masticating food and then dropping it over the upturned chick's beak--- for this is exactly what Parker and Stone were doing -- Stone, after catching the Lion's share of his ready-made puree in his upturned mouth swallowed his prawns, both players also seemed to be talking while they dined, at one point Parker picked up a bottle of wine and even shared some with Stone in the same way.

"Basically we need some way to break the deadlock, Leonardo, we need some kind of expert on flies or insects that manifest this kind of behavior like these acid squirting ants," said Botticelli.

"Ok, I think I might be able to help you," said Leonardo as he watched the strange feasting ritual within.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxv

Trey Parker approached Matt Stone, who was sitting, reading an article, placed his hands on his shoulders to give him a friendly massage and asked him,

"Whatcha readin' there partner?"

Stone went on to read aloud the article he'd been perusing...


Mel Gibson has at least one friend left in Hollywood: Jodie Foster.

Foster, 47, is standing by Gibson, 54 -- whom she has known since they made Maverick together in 1994 -- as he endures the worst publicity of his career in his vicious battle with ex Oksana Grigorieva. (He's accused of domestic violence and has been recorded making countless racist, misogynist and obscene rants.)

PHOTOS: Mel and Oksana's shocking feud

Actress Foster tells the October issue of More magazine that Gibson is "the easiest, nicest person I've ever worked with...The second I met him, I said, 'I will love this man for the rest of my life."

Even after Gibson's latest scandal erupted, Foster spoke up on his behalf.

"When you love a friend, you don't abandon them when they are struggling," Foster told More. (In the wake of his notorious tapes, Gibson was dropped by his talent agency.)

PHOTOS: Mel's many meltdowns

The twosome have collaborated again on upcoming flick The Beaver -- starring Gibson and directed by Foster. "Mel is an undeniably gifted actor and director, and The Beaver is one of his most powerful and moving performances," she exclaims.

"But more importantly, he is and has been a true and loyal friend. I hope I can help him get through this dark moment," Foster added.


In a March 1 email just unearthed by TMZ, Gibson calls himself a "f------ failure," and tells Grigorieva: "I really am losing my grip. I desperately need a solution. Sorry it has to affect you. I can't stand anything any more ... I'm stuck." Writing from his iPhone, the actor continues, "It's a primal scream thing. The pain is too great & everywhere I turn is making it heavier. Oh to have peace! Oh to have joy. Oh to be able to provide it for another."

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxiv

evidently taking a break from his artistic pursuits, Michelangelo called Leonardo over to watch something --- looking through a small glass window set within a door, Michelangelo gestured to Leonardo to behold what he was seeing (and hearing):

beyond the glass pane, Mr. Garrison was before his hand puppet: Mr. Hand and doing an interpretive dance version to Metallica's 'Unforgiven'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lxiii

back at South Park -- Kiedis, the lead singer from the Red Hot Chilli Peppers had taken a seat on a couch in front of a TV after having sat on a tall stool behind a professionally lit white back drop (of white sheets) for Karen and Martha to professionally take his photograph smelling a flower and wearing a ring of flowers in his hair for Leonardo's latest painting: Jesus, every day one crosses into California illegally ......... after the correct photographs were taken, Martha and Karen were free to disassemble the photo shoot area and in fact, Karen administered to Kiedis who complained of sore feet after an insane past few day that nobody wanted to really know about by positing a little basin of hot-salted waters for Kiedis to place his feet in before the television which played French movie Amelie Pulin.

As Leonardo sat before his easel nearby Kiedis preparing his painting by actually painting in his foundation background colors , both livers sipped their Frappucinos....... on the unwatched television in the next room, the State of the Union debate played on...

a reporter from Rolling Stone magazine was also hanging about with Kiedis on the couches along with Martha and Karen that were buzzing in and out and one or two other South Park Comedy Central production team women that wanted to hang out with Kiedis....... the Rolling Stone supporter was currently on acid (lysergic) and tripping at the colors in the French movie..... Kiedis wouldn't let anyone know what had gone on in the past few days but there must have been some insane partying going on -- he was shirtless and glistening with sweat despite the aircon -- some of the women fussed about his Indian tattoos...... at this point, Kiedis sniffing his flower, uttered his most mysterious, profound utterance that he ever uttered or ever would utter until his final expiration on this giant marble rolling through the limitless meadows of stars and black universal void:

"One of you is going to be Trey like Jesus," were his famous words. Everybody that was there to witness it recalled it the same way, but historically nobody knew what he meant:

One of you is going to betray like Jesus -- as if Jesus were going to be betrayed

or

One of you is going to betray like Jesus -- as if Jesus were somehow capable of imperfection and therefore of betraying

or

One of you is going to be Trey (presumably Parker) like Jesus -- as if Jesus was somehow like Trey Parker

or

One of you is going to beat tray like Jesus as if Jesus somehow was a person known for beating trays (eg., those used in photocopying machines or school cafeterias and cafeterias in general)

or

One of you is going to beet ray like Jesus referring to the beetroot vegetable and a mysterious ray....

there was no telling what Kiedis meant but after Rolling Stone reported it along with one of the photographs of him in his flower pose and a write-up on Da Vinci's commissioning of his new painting -- there was all kinds of brew-ha-ha across the world about religion and christianity and Islam --- Kiedis' previous remarks like Allah flying in a spaceship seemed as nothing compared to his: "one of you is going to be Trey like Jesus" --- even Leonardo didn't know if he meant like as to like someone as in love or like as in a preposition simply meaning as or in the same way as.......

regardless -- in the next room, on the unwatched CNN the lively panel debate with Lucas, Petraeus and a number of other geo-political experts had deteriorated into a bitter shouting match over which Jedis and dark-side-of-the-force Jedis had the most midiclorians --- one person posited that Count Dooku did, the next that Luke Skywalker was the greatest, the next that Yoda was, the next that Darth Maul or even Darth Sidious had the most midiclorians -- some even argued that Jedis of the dark side of the Force could not have midiclorians but potti-clorians --- there was no telling.....

Blitzer and King, having finished their day's work for CNN in CNN's Manhattan studios -- both proceeded to undress right by their respective drums and guitar/amp/pedal set-up as soon as the floor manager called, 'and we out,'.... both of them had sporting outfits underneath their suits: Blitzer sported white tennis shorts and a white tennis shirt, long white forearm wrist/sweatbands and a white forehead strap/sweatstrap -- he changed his shoes to excellent sport shoes for playing tennis, picked up a racket and started fixing its strings and placed it in a black loose billowing bag on his back that read 'Wilson'.... King was wearing loud colorful baggy shorts and shirt and left his green transparent poker cap on, kept his sports shoes on and wore a similar bag on his back which he placed a basketball into ---

both players left the studio via the window and started skateboarding their way towards Greenwich Village in Manhattan which they were relatively close to.... the traffic going in their direction was gridlocked -- the soundtrack played Snoop Dogg's version of Riders on the Storm....... both players were master skateboard riders -- they described large fishtails on the non-gridlocked side of the road as they rode on it into oncoming traffic of which there was very little......

King kicked with his left leg despite playing drums in the conventional right-legged manner -- like birds of prey with room to move on the non-trafficky side of the ride -- they first spotted a police-car gridlocked into a middle lane -- a policeman or woman (indecipherable) sat with a take-out coffee cup and an elbow bracing out of an open passenger side window -- King swooped in and agilely swept his way up the lane and knocked the coffee onto the police officer within and said:

'Oops!' said King as he kicked on, the officer within the car was painfully burnt with scalding coffee.

Blitzer saw some kids standing by the road on the sidewalk holding ice-creams and drinks -- Blitzer rolled up close and mightily forehead slapped one kid with an open palm while taking his strawed soda with the other hand and saying:

'Move it or lose it grandson!'

The kids on the pavement started complaining about 'the older generation,' and 'old people today,' and how having to pay old people's pensions would drive them and the economy into the ground.

Both players made an incredibly beautiful 90 degree turn into another busy road merely by leaning back towards the direction they wanted to turn into at 30 degree angles....... on the corner was a very obese man who threw something for King to catch which he did gracefully as he described his long turn,

"My african-American!! I'll pay you for that this weekend
for that."

To which the man on the street nodded.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xlii

good day to be alive sir...

back at South Park.... all hands were on deck at comedy central studios -- it was production time....... Michelangelo had decided to branch off and do his own thing on some of the advanced computer equipment there using an advanced animation program with advanced rendering functions........ Michelangelo was buried in concentration --- his world seemed to involve one main frame of a woman photographed at close up - mid calf on up in the process of clearing a hurdle in an Olympic dash...... clearly Michelangelo was trying to do something with this main image as he had a number of other related images, some of them moving, featuring a loop of the hurdler clearing the same hurdle again and again.... the main photo Michelangelo worked on showed a powerful bust relief: abdomens, thighs, knees and sinews, arms and a neck.........

Leonardo too busied himself with a simple concept, a close up image to be painted on a canvas the old-fashioned way --- Leonardo had already greased up his canvas with a spread consisting of olive oil and egg-yolk giving his canvas enduring strength --- although he didn't know the singer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers from a bar of soap, he had come across his photograph and decided he wanted to use the man's image as the basis of his potrait of a Saint..... Leonardo was impressed during his stay in California by the amount of illegal Mexicans named Jesus that he wanted to subtitle his painting: Jesus: every day one crosses into California illegally .......... the folks at South Park's production company had kindly accomodated to both Michelangelo and Leonardo and surprisingly were even able to arrange for the actual singer of Red Hot Chilli Peppers to sit before Leonardo like some Mona Lisa, wearing a ring of flowers on his head -- his hair combed out straight and hanging straight down, a flower in his hand held close to his nose.

"We'll take his photo like this Mr. Da Vinci and then he'll be free to rest his hand and arm," said Karen and Martha from the South Park production company.
"Eh?? Frappucino??" Mouthed Da Vinci with a slightly delighted curiosity as he surveyed (one of) the cup(s) labelled 'Frappucino' left by him (and Kiedis). The two women smiled at his new discovery.


The South Park creators including Parker and Stone were busy in a planning room discussing legal issues for their next show: they wanted to lambast Oprah and have Oprah telling audience members to shit on each other's chests -- making the point that too many people out there are willing to do whatever Oprah tells them to do -- with the paedophile priests plotline, Stone explained to artists that he wanted one shot to show a helicopter scooping the priests from traps laid in the ground and then carrying them over a tiny ways in the same shot to be dropped off at the Associated Press HQ to explain themselves and beg their forgivenesses,

"Make sure it's all in the same shot, so we'll just pan over," said Stone.

In a lunch-room with a microwave, coffee-machine and table-tennis table that no-body in the busy centre was currently using, CNN played on an unwatched TV....

the Eastern European lady that was from Greece on CNN, Vassileva, was explaining that State of the Union would be next and would feature movie director George Lucas and U.S. Army General Petraeus and a number of experts on climate change and geo-politics....

with the transition to the CNN show 'State of the Union' with Wolf Blitzer..... the usual timpani drums and orchestral music commenced -- as to be expected for such a show -- so often were the humble timpani drums and deep-stringed instruments like the viola used to project American grandeur,

however, this time, a surprise was in store for all viewers..... unexpectedly, after the dramatic 3 second countdown from the CNN control room to Blitzer's State of the Union show, there in the 'Situation Room' was Wolf Blitzer with his usual immaculate suit and shiny black shoes -- but this time he was adorned with a long-necked electric guitar and a number of cables hanging from it to some electric guitar pedals at his feet -- behind him was Larry King in his suspenders and crisp dark long-sleeved shirt and an excellent pair of heavy drumsticks in his hands and large percussion set up before him as typically used by a rock band - Mr. King also sported a gay-looking sun-visor like the ones poker players sometimes wear ....

the dramatic timpani and stringed-instruments in the lead up to State of the Union with Wolf Blitzer were actually the opening bars of Metallica's "No Leaf Clover" --- what followed was more pure American Glory delivered in a flawless and masterful rendition of this Metallica classic by Blitzer on lead guitar and singing and King on drums than the two could ever have hoped to have mustered after three decades gas-bagging before the tired camera.........

Blitzer had evidently studied Hendrix's guitar style in his free time as his usage of forehand, non-thumb picking plucking style and masterful fretting up and down the long guitar's neck fretboard as he occasional changed his pedal settings at his feet while delivering, note for note, a flawless rendition of this song which sometimes requires fluctuations from almost falsetto to baritones.......... King followed behind him flawlessly delivering staccato ripples on his large bass drum and machine-gun snare-drum riffs -- his arms a symphony of music as they rose and fell time after time executing perfect drumrolls and riffs like a Russian gymnast at the Moscow Olympic games delivering (what even the North American judges of Canada and the USA would consider as) a perfect 10 routine.......

after this magnificent gift to humanity -- perhaps the only true gift either man ever gave to humanity in the long series of their respective Souls pilgrimages from baby to baby through the centuries and across the universe covering various planets...... after this magnificent musical feast, George Lucas, General Petraeus and a number of experts discussed the ramifications of the inevitable Himalayan ice-glaciers melting and how the inevitable flooding of India and further flooding of Pakistan would affect not only the war in Afghanistan, but the geo-political situation in general...... at one point Mr. Lucas was even asked if he could be persuaded to organize a ticker-tape parade like the one at the end of one of his new Star Wars trilogy movies with Mace Windu for General Petraeus should he prevail in Afghanistan at some point..... all players went for power-words like 'game-changer' and 'clincher' -- but never would they remotely come close to the Glory mustered by Blitzer and King's Metallica rendition of No Leaf Clover: no-one ever did.....

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xli

as luck had it -- later on Leonardo would ride with Stone, but Stone did nothing for Leonardo, perhaps it was because of having French genes... who could say? Hence the two had an in-depth discussion about engineering and the way different suburban and urban infrastructures are geared to drain stormwater and how the planning for said infrastructure was based on rain patterns prior to construction and how inevitably those rain patterns were increasing with climate change and the two went on to discuss different possible inventions for homes of the future which would prevent flooding.... Stone brought up some ideas used in Lousiana after the flooding there like homes on buoys that would rise after a flood........ Leonardo concurred that such had been the case for a long time in Holland and said that the world would end up learning a lot from the Dutch ......... Mr. Leonardo struck Mr. Stone as being an intelligent man with an inventive mind....... nevertheless the two were worried about the future of the children in South Park as now and then they would see a priest with a hard-on walking around with his arms outstretched saying:

'here kiddy kiddy kiddy kiddy, tell your Father your sins now, here kiddy kiddy kiddy.'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xl

'come on man,' continued the persistent Leonardo, 'don't be-a da retard-o, what's-a wrong-a wich-u-a? look-atta da sausages i bring for you?' and Leonardo held up a long blood sausage and gave Parker an imploring look in the eyes while raising his eyebrows coquettishly.

'Oh no, no, that's okay, no sausages anywhere in me -- no no -- no -- thank you Mr. Da Vinci, no.'

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lix not LICKS but LIX!

Michelangelo, following an intuition perhaps -- pulled away from the hotel convention centre with all the catholic priests and took a turn or two and pulled up outside a bar that had a ny style hot dog vendor outside:

'hot dogs, hot dogs, get your hotdogs, nice and fresh!' wailed the street vendor picturesquely.

'there they are!' said Michelangelo.

There wasn't time to be star-struck as it was only a matter of time, with so many catholic priests and so many school children in the same town before they ran into eachother and the priests started getting the children to confess and subsequently touching them inappropriately...

'bla... bla... bla... bla... do you see what i mean?' finished Michelangelo after passionately making his case to Parker and Stone.

Parker and Stone did see what they meant,

'Ok, Mr. Michelangelo (Parker and Stone had never heard of Michelangelo or Leonardo and just thought they had strange sounding names, one of them like the movie star), you ride with me,' said Stone.

'Ok, Mr Leonardo, you can ride with me in my batmobile,' said Trey Parker.

Leonardo looked at him and his homosexual urges were getting the better of him, such a lovely English man. As they sat down in Parker's batmobile, Leonardo remembered some Englishmen he met in Rome once, doing some work for the Medicis, they were plasterers... such lovely men... now, sitting next to Trey Parker, Da Vinci was feeling a revival of love for all things English.

'You're-a a beautiful-a English man,' said Da Vinci with his guido Italian accent and laid his hand on one of Parker's legs, mid-thigh.

Parker turned his head to the right and looked over at Da Vinci with a 'what are you doing?' look on his face.

Da Vinci proceeded to rub his hand farther down Parker's leg to his knee, 'make-a da love to me,' said Da Vinci imploringly, 'I love-a da English men-a.'

'I'm not English!' said Parker, 'I'm an American! Now unhand me you yankee!' and brushed Da Vinci's hand away from his leg.

'You're a very pretty boy, come on-a, make-a da love to me,' continued Da Vinci to implore.

'I cannot here you! Oh say can you see! by the dawn's early light!' sand Parker loudly to avoid being able to hear Da Vinci......... I'll have to get him to ride with Stone next time thought Parker to himself.

.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part liii

the two renaissance lads, Michelangelo and Leonardo stopped at a roadside sausage distributor -- Leonardo chose some delicious Polish sausage and blood sausages and had them nicely gift wrapped -- he intended to honor Parker and Stone, the two creators of South Park with them.........

the two recontinued in the van and Michelangelo, driving, consulted his navegator and announced, 'according to this thing, we'll be in South Park any minute now.'

And fantastically, further ahead, with the shiny spangle of the sun and the hills and meadows and brooks and rivers and happy, flapping birds, it appeared that the ground they approached appeared in cartoon -- two-dimensional bright-colored hues -- and a sign at the side of the road read:

you are now entering South Park

the two accustomed themselves to the bright colors and lack of depth-perception and two-dimensionality of their new surroundings --- they looked at their own bodies as they drove and noticed their bodies looked flat and two-dimensional......... Leonardo thought deeply about the two-dimensional style and how it was employed by the Church along with the advent of depth, perspective in three dimensions just before he arrived at the time portal leading him to the future --- after he arrived, in the future, while he was selling crack cocaine to rich white kids in LA for money, he remembered consulting a computer at a public library and looking at some of the works of Rafael during what later came to be termed 'the Renaissance,' - Leonardo's very own times! --- Leonardo was impressed with Raphael's deep, rich, dark colors, the way the clothing draped so richly, the youth and vitality of the subjects, their muscularity -- the depth, the mastery of perspective........

perhaps in shock from his transition to a two-dimensional world where everything he looked at, including himself, was two-dimensional -- still in deep thought about Raphael's later artwork........ Leonardo was startled by a van that come hurtling towards them on the other side of the road......

large advertising on the side of the van announced: Terence and Phillip, Baked Goods since 1992

as the Terence and Phillip van approached, Michelangelo slowed the van down to see if he could get their attention.... surprisingly, the Terence and Phillip van slowed down too.

'Do you two know how we can find proprietors Parker and Stone?' asked Michelangelo.

Terence looked at Phillip and then looked at Michelangelo and said:

'No, but i know how i can fart of someone's head!' he said mischeviously and held his friend Phillip's head to his butt while he farted loudly and laughed racously.

'Good Lord!' said Leonardo crossing himself as Michelangelo continued onwards laughing also.

'What the hell are you crossing yourself for?' asked Michelangelo.

After a couple of minutes more of driving Leonardo observed, again with his faux-Italian/guido accent which wouldn't leave him until he left South Parka and its two-dimensional world:

'Look-a there-a Michelangelo! They are-a having some-a kind-a catholic convention there-a --- looka atta all the priests a there'a at the hotel and convention centre.'

Indeed, there was a large Catholic convention going on in South Park and busloads of priests were congregating on the town.

'We better hurry man! We gotta find Parker and Stone, or at least the kids and let them know what danger they're in!' said Michelangelo worriedly.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lvii

after a nap induced from a small heart-attack resulting from the tasering -- Leonardo woke up --

'dude, sorry about that, it was an accident!' said Michelangelo .... Leonardo gave him the benefit of the doubt and climbed into the front part of the van and started sketching a new artwork.

'whatcha working on?' asked Michelangelo as he checked his navegator for distance remaining to South Park: 203 miles.

'i call it: insistence for shit, here i have-a (and now Leonardo began talking with a faux Italian accent like the cartoon guido selling you pizza on a TV near you) ... here i have-a the truth-a -- she's a sitting here by the side of the road -- and here the crowd is a runnin' for the shit -- ignoring the truth-a with all her beauty and the crowd is a crushin-itself fallin-over-itself-a trying to rub itself in shit-ta like so many pigs.'

'nice,' said Michelangelo.

'Michelangelo, before we stoppa in the South Parka -- i wanna buy some sausages to give to the creators as a blessing-a from me to them-a.'

'can do, lemme see if there are any sausage stores programmed into this thing,' said Michelangelo checking his navegator.

generalisimo petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lvi

after the stop the threesome drove on a while and saw two women walking by the freeway hitching a ride, they were Lorena Bobbitt and Xena the warrior princess, Michelangelo was driving and pulled over next to the two women - he leant over to open the door next to Miller and then pointed his taser at Miller and said:

'jump out here amiche, this is where your ride ends,' said Michelangelo to Miller with fiery resolution.

Out went Miller and immediately Leonardo started piping up and whining,

'hey what r u doing man? that man won our hearts with his cooky and zany antics!' protested Leonardo....

zap zap zap zap zap

Michelangelo tazed Leonardo who was left splaying and rolling in electorific agony in the back of the van.... as Miller befriended his two new friends, Michelangelo pumped up some Metallica music (he was sick of listening to Leonardo's crap), adjusted the rear view mirror and bid adieu visually to Miller as he noticed a flash as of a reflection of steel in the rearview mirror and proceeded to program his gps navegator for South Park town centre and smoke a big fat spliff....

'boo ya,' said Michelangelo as he pulled up right behind a massive road-train doing 100 miles an hour on the freeday............. slipstream

generalisimo petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lv

after Leonardo was done talking to the very Prophet Mohammed, sent from God Almighty, hallowed be his name......... he told 'Jeeves' to put the i-Mac into hibernate mode:

'why should i do this for you you dirty infidel? (hawking/spitting sound) - all the women in your family are dirty infidel sluts that should be stoned to death,' and with that adieu, 'Jeeves' put Leonardo's computer into hibernate mode wherein it remained silenced with an occasional blink and Leonardo folded it closed - placed it in his backpack by his side, slurped up the last of his smoothie and unburied his butt from his beanbag --

Leonardo commanded a roadside stop. Upon stopping Leonardo noticed smoke in the air..

'what's going on?' he asked.

'according to the radio there are some forest fires around the Boulder area -- they're being fanned by strong winds,' replied Michelangelo, 'that's what you're feeling now.'

'it's all Miller's fault,' said Leonardo, 'all this climate change isn't caused by excessive carbon dioxide in the air from burning coal and petrol for cars and electricity! of course it's not caused by 6 billion little monkeys -- it's caused by Miller's farts!'

'well that makes sense doesn't it?' replied Michelangelo.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part liv

Leonardo started running his finger over his lip and zoning out....

''Jeeves'', said Leonardo to his computer, 'change your personality from bubbly to menacing Jihad-preaching cleric.'

'How about that you dirty infidel?' asked 'Jeeves' with its new persona.

'Yes, that's great 'Jeeves', thanks you for changing your online persona -- now, get me Mohammed the very Prophet on skype.

'It shall be done, wolla!' replied 'Jeeves'.

Skype opened up with its musical beeping...

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part xliii

somewhere along a highway in colorado, leonardo pulled over and announced:

'i've had enough of driving, you drive Michelangelo.... and you Miller -- ride in the front with Michelangelo.'

Leonardo climbed into the back of the van which he had rigged out with Wi-fi (that he had left Miller free to use while blocking his access to send out-bound information over the net) -- he fired up his hi-powered Mac and squished his butt around a little in his bean-bag and plunged a magnificent foot-long straw into a giant tub of smoothie that he had previously made: Leonardo, was a typical Aries-like type and driven for life by a need to basically be famous and adored -- he was also generous, bossy, and prone to be impatient... he flicked open a project he was working on on Corel Draw and Auto-Cad (an engineering program) --- it wasn't a staircase for choir singers to stand in so that they would be at pleasing obtuse angles and criss-cross patters, no, it was a giant, mean, spring-locked 10-yard long blade that would unload and literally chop off the legs of an invading army as they tried to penetrate a narrow breach or city wall: Leonardo thought back to the Russian invasion of Georgia in 2008 and wondered how the events there would have turned out if the Georgians had mounted his leg-chopper at the entrance to the only tunnel leading into Georgia from Russia: most likely the Russian tanks would have crushed it - still, the Georgians were fools, at that point of the game, at least, to not have dynamited the tunnel closed.'

One might ask: why did Leonardo spend time and energy inventing giant spring-locked 10-yard long blades that would chop the legs of soldiers off as they approached a portal in a wall or defense.

Leonardo did not ask this, instead he watched a re-run of some Hollywood epic from the 1930s, in Technicolor wherein Jesus was asking Paul why he was persecuting his Apostles and trying to get them all killed.

'This sux,' said Leonardo to himself: 'Jeeves,' he addressed his killer-app on his Mac that was an all-in-one voice recognition technology driven secretary with the personality of a loveable and bubbly California beach babe (of course this personality could be switched to a morbidly depressed suicidal type or an angry Jihad-preaching cleric as per the user's preference)...

'yessir Mr. Da Vinci,' responded the computer's voice in 'Jeeves' the wonderful online assisstant.

'Get me Stalin,' requested Leonardo to Jeeves.

Skype opened and started dialling a number with a beep beep tone.

'And Jeeves, get me St. Peter, and show me their status stats on the screen.'

'Roger roger Leonardo,' answered the colorful and bubbly Californian beach babe manifesting 'Jeeves' technology (patent pending).

Status info for St Peter came up first: a Tacoma SUV in Tacoma Washington with Ska Punk musical rendition of the Flintstones blasting from its sound system, St Peter was alone within and driving the SUV and listening to the Ska Punk rendition of the Flinstones.

'Jeeves, have Stalin connect to me if the call is answered.'

'Coming thru now Mr. Da Vinci,' responded 'Jeeves' immediately, simultaneously posting info for Stalin: Status: incarnate - awake (not sleeping).... Belly: Fed....

Leonardo had designed a motif to show superimposed on Stalin's image or streaming video which read: Tearer Ink ...... ('Tearer' as in the word describing the person that tears an object, e.g., paper, cardboard) - it was a play on words for: Terror Inc, as in fact, Leonardo was already building up a massive paramilitary force, or 'well armed-militia' in Constitutional jargon, as a manifestation on his innate desire to rule and dominate: the typical Aries indeed.

'Stalin,' commenced Leonardo to his secretary, 'i am interested in doing a dry-run, call it a probe: a Sarin powder attack on Portland, Oregon, no casualties: just a little something to baffle the American power-structure and throw another obscure curve-ball to the idiot masses.'

'You're rationale Leonardo,' inquired Josef Stalin, world's ultimate dictator and power-player.

'I just want to keep the engine's wheels greased, i have my reasons, believe me, i have fed the numbers into the machine, crunched bookfuls of statistics, done the math, written the logarithms and pronounced the parabolic calculus fit.'

'Yessir Leonardo, i'll have it done,' responded Stalin, and Stalin, being the history's greatest example of state-run Terror, was to be believed. 'Leonardo?' prompted Stalin after a moment's pause.

'Yes Iosef,' said Leonardo as he looked at the Georgian script that ran along his motif of Tearer Ink -- what a fascinating looking alphabet thought Leonardo to himself.

'Just wondering if you thought about Eureka in Topeka?' said Stalin wickedly. Of course Leonardo knew it was one of Stalin's obscure jokes but it did grab his attention in some abstract subconscious way and he mentally filed the notion away while bidding adieu to Stalin for the moment.

'Jeeves' cut back over the computer's operating system and informed: 'Mr. Da Vinci, Saint Peter has a security question blocking access to incoming phone calls from unidentified internet callers.'

That was strange. 'What is the question 'Jeeves'' asked Da Vinci.

'What color or colors were the two urns that the water-bearers carried on their left-shoulders as they entered a door within a minute of each-other, indicating to Apostles James, James the lesser and Bartholomew the precise location of the Last Supper,' asked 'Jeeves'.

'Well, goodness gracious,' answered Leonardo, 'certainly only Jesus and those three Apostles would have known that.' Leonardo knew that the twelve apostles entered four different doors in groups of three which were indicated to the Apostles by secret codes which only Jesus knew about and which he Himself had organized.

'Mr. Da Vinci,' responded the bubbly 'Jeeves', 'Saint Peter's in-vehicle computer system is saying that your answer is intelligent but that you are a dangerous dick-ead and need to be shot like so many dangerous animals.'

'Alright that's fine,' said Leonardo extremely flustered all of a sudden by Saint Peter's arrangements, his eyes narrowed, his nostril muscles shrilled and he intook breath and the muscles in his hands rippled as he cracked his muscles there, 'you just leave a message with Saint Peter for his people to beware of travelling in and around Portland Oregon around September 11th of this year -- especially if they are around a post office!!!!' commanded Leonardo in a huff and with that he shut 'Jeeves' down.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part lii

Leonardo and Michelangelo started talking between themselves in Italian for the first time -- an Italian older than Vivaldi's and older than that of Mozart's Italian operas.......

cazzo......

'that's: one --- eight --- teen,' said one of the renaissance artists in (really) old Italian.

cazzo......

the other retorted: 'what about: won, ate, dean,'??

cazzo.......

Leonardo announced that he needed to make a phone call -- he excused himself to the van and played some Sean Paul music which got Miller's toe-tapping in the back of the van.... Leonardo lit a cigarette up and ashed..... a movie director filming the moment might have caught a shot of his crisp white wrist collar with a small emblematic Christ/Px emblazoned on it and a smattering of ash drifting around it like snow after Leonardo snapped the cherry on his cigarette.....

D...E...F....G --- the letters rolled down Leonardo's I-Phone until it found entry: Genghis Khan.......

'Genghis,' said Leonardo into his I-phone as he held it an inch or so from his mouth with speaker-phone on -- he pronounced Genghis: Jen -- gis

The two historical characters conferred......... again, a movie director might have been pleased to shotlist and film the scene with a shot of Genghis at the other end writing some notes down in a small notebook, 'the wolf' style a-la-pulp-fiction:

Stan (black), Rosemary (white), Michael (white), teen, dean, 1 - 8

'ok Leonardo, i'll take care of it,' said Genghis Khan reassuringly and disconnected the call.

Leonardo with resolution in his step re-entered the petrol-station.

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part li (part 51)

leonarod-ardo and michelangelo along with miller re-ascended into michelangelo's van and left sedona --- they were driving towards colorado --- leonardo watched downloaded repeats of bill o'reilly on his i-pod ---

'look Miller, here's footage of you!' said Leonardo, 'there's no foot in the shots though.'

Leonardo began to think that Michelangelo's administration of magic mushrooms and unusual activities like off-road racing were beginning to have a positive effect on Miller's psyche........

The trio stopped at a service station..... they were met in turn by a trio of Australians at the service station who worked there: Rosemary Church from CNN and Stan Grant and the white English-Ossie guy....... the three of them worked there with the black guy doing the most menial work...... the Australian flag flew over the petrol station.....

'I'll pump it myself,' said Leonardo --

'Okay,' said Grant -- the two white english-ossies, Church and the guy came over with a haughty, i'm the boss, are you sure you're not mentally ill if you think you can mess with me/god save queen elizabeth attitude.

Michelangelo went inside to pay the bill...

'That's a-dean dollars,' said the white english-ossie guy from CNN.

'What? what's a-dean dollars? what does that mean?' asked Michelangelo.

Leonardo, who had secured Miller in the van, came inside the cash register area,

'What's going on?' he asked.

'You gotta pay a-dean dollars for that petrol,' explained the english-ossie guy from CNN.

'what's a-dean? that's someone that runs a university,' said Leonardo....