what are you doing this evening? just having a quiet night at home? -- maybe a little date with yourself -- and a bottle of moisturizing cream??? maybe catch a movie 5 minutes after that? --- well look, how about this? put down that bottle and pull those pants up and come with me.... no! no! not that kind of come... i mean just start stepping, one two one two -- step step step -- let's go to the cinema!
what's showing? well look -- here's an exploration piece on how movie marketing affects us --- the little guy at the bottom of the food chain:
on wednesday - for the first time, some movie comes to my attention -- a photo showing an alien (outer space variety, not mexican) and the name 'paul' -- presumably the alien's name -- and some tagline indicating it's some kind of comedy............ again yesterday i see the same poster --- conveniently forget about it and then i see the movie advertised on facebook --- but oh no - sigourney weaver is in it --- isn't she some lesbian australian anglo-saxon white england supremacist?? -- or was she in that movie with the scary aliens -- if so why is she in a funny alien movie? already it's a red flag -- clearly i'll be taking my friend (above) to a different movie, by the looks of it --- just to be safe, i decide to check imdb.com --- uh oh -- another red flag -- the two main actors are british -- so it's a movie about homosexual binge drinkers -- well, i guess i'll check the previews on imdb now, since i have already gotten the site fired up and all -- i shall do so right now........
predictably it's a hollywood hybrid of british humor with some left-wing liberal desire to push a pro gay-marriage agenda --- complete nonsense, as the british would say -- there still hasn't been a better british movie come out lately than the one with the army of walking-dead zombies walking very slowly ........ the only non-gay funny thing in the trailer is paul eating the bird after he resuscitates it... walk away from this bleeding road-kill before it hits your nostrils - asap......... this movie is lamer than the legless guy that shakes a cup at you every morning asking for spare change
oh well, forget about the movies, friend -- how about you just pass me that bottle of moisturizing cream
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