petreus: continuing people (he speaks as the my little buttercup video continues on loop behind him with the volume down and images of alexander the great and his battles simultaneously flash onto the screen)
gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen of the not-so-left-wing media (his audience now chuckles at his allusion to the rolling stone article to led him to take over the posting in afghanistan) --- this is not a series of wars of conquest like alexander's were.... the only simularity is the diffusion and change of cultural elements through military force --- as a democracy led by a moderate dictatorship in the form of the presidency, our previous leader led us and kept us here, however there is only so much a democracy can bear in terms of war -- we saw that with iraq...... here we are essentially unable to change the fabric of the society here, unlike in iraq where we created a massive vacuum by decapitating the leadership which led to a river of blood and the more or less stable democracy we have there now --- but here in afghanistan we have tried to pay the local populace to grow avocados instead of the opium poppy
who here likes avocados?
colonel zubarik of gamma brigade raises his hand: i love them sir
petreus: they are delicious, i adore them with melted cheese and seeded bread myself -- now i want you to watch another scene from the 'three amigos' because i feel it's what alexander would have wanted
(petreus shows them the scene where the germans challenge the three amigos gunslinging abilities, in the scene, a german gunslinging expert recounts how he used to worship dusty springfield's gunslinging abilities but then learnt about special effects and film-making procedures and came to the conclusion that dusty springfield was just a big fraud -- dusty springfield becomes indignified at this point and insists that his gunslinging exploits were real and not doctored by modern technology at which point the germans allies the mexicans thrust an overly large gun onto dusty springfield that is too large for his body/mass ratio - an arm he cannot hope to bear well --- which the indignant german doesn't seem to care about)
petreus: watch that people, and tell me what you think -- let's brainstorm here
lyndley englund, a military intelligence attache raises her hand: sir, it comes to mind that both actors in the my little buttercup scene have the name martin in their names
(before petreus can respond another hand shoots up)
sergeant-major barrack squad squat delta sir, sir, if i may, what you mentioned about alexander's campaigns and profusion of culture and cross-cultural fertilization, i served 3 tours in iraq sir and american movies and culture is much more prevalent there than here sir --- sir the local population i would hazard to say are the most disinterested in western culture while at the same time indirectly most overbearing on it in terms of their heroin export -- sir 80% of england's heroin comes from right here sir
No comments:
Post a Comment