'oh now i remember what i wanted to ask you Omar!' said witherspoon/woods/simpson
'go ahead baby, shoot!' retorted Omar
'Omar honey, why do the Afghanistanis hate the Americans so much?'
Omar raised his head from the little hole in the bed it was resting through... and by the tone of voice woods was using, he was sure she was serious, feeling very patient, he sat himself down on the acupuncture bed -- with the needles still sticking out of his back, he held her by one of her hands ---
'darling, you're a beautiful woman, i will try to explain it to you, okay?' he waited for her to acknowledge that, and continued, 'baby, do you remember the time, as documented in the documentary Legally Blonde I, that you tried to get into Harvard law school and finally, even though nobody thought you'd make it, you got in.... do u remember you wanted to make friends with certain people there, but they just didn't like you?'
'yeah...' replied witherspoon/simpson....
'well, those people didn't like you coz of your californian accent and ways -- you were way out of your zone in the New England states of America -- if you wanted to see a USC game you would have to wait until they played locally on an away game and then they would just be a visiting band of un-loved outsiders --- everybody watching them play would be rooting for the other team,' he waited to see if she was following him,
'uh-huh, but i don't see any Afghanis playing badminton here, not even the ones with two legs,' she replied with her big baby-blue eyes and her cutesy face (now a little scuffed by war with a few grease stains on it and some black combat ink Omar had smeared under her eyes to absorb sun-light during daytime combat
'you don't see any Afghanis playing badminton here,' Omar asked
'well yeah, all the Chinese working on the Copper mines and the railway and this that and the other are always playing badminton in their free time, you never kill and hate on the chinese, so why don't you follow their example and start playing badminton,' she asked
Omar, far from feeling upset at her questions, respected her intelligence, and went on to reason with her, 'do you know what the lymph system is?'
'yes, it's a network of cables and tubes within the body that removes waste --- whatever the bottom doesn't poop out and whatever isn't pissed off gets taken care of by the lymph system and the sweat glands -- unless it gets puked out
'right, right, and we don't puke much out here because we're Muslims, so we don't drink much alcohol here -- all the puking gets done by American G.I.s, their visiting families from the States and the Chinese laborers that are building up the Copper mines --- coz they're the ones into alcoholism.....
'so what's your point?' asked witherspoon/woods/simpson
'does the waste in the Lymph system go in two directions or just one?'
'just one, if the waste were to get sucked back where it came from, there are valves that block it -- the constant waste produced by the human body, in it's natural, healthy state, can only travel in one direction,'
'okay,' said Omar, 'so i want you to think about that for a while and about Afghanistan's relationships with America and China...
and having said this, Omar lay back down for further acupuncture treatment....
he continued talking with his brother,
'if we could only get a nuclear bomb, we could take out the safe-T-zone in Kabul once and for all -- or even just a small atom bomb -- we don't have anything big enough, bomb-wise,'
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