approximately, fifteen days into woods/witherspoon's oedipus mission to kill her father and have sex with her mother, ex four-star general-cum-diplomat Ambassador kike-end-dyke (with an reverse french accent on the final 'a' in diplomat) sat at his desk talking to his pa as the two ate Malaysian food with a combination of chopsticks and a large spoon for the soup:
'fucking mcchrystal! that stupid son-of-a-bitch took away our Burger King! Fuck!'
at that moment, an intern rushed in:
'sir, terrible news, the blue-prints to the Kabul-safe-T-zone have been stolen!'
'stoles-den!!!' replied Ambassador kike-end-dyke, what a predicament! with the blue-prints stolen, the Kabul safe-T-zone would be vulnerable to terrorist infiltration and destruction.... just as he realized that, he saw a Tajiki ride by his tent window on a ride-on lawn mower and he farted - intentionally pushing the fart out for effect after the unsettling gases and juices of the Malay cuissine took effect -- and accidentally shit his pants:
'look,' he said to his PA, 'this won't do -- get me 100 nappies, like the ones used in long-distance flights, like the ones worn by the stealth bombers that flew out of Kansas all those years ago right after 9/11 and started this goddam war,'....
at that moment general macchrystal stormed into kike-end-dyke's office chewing on tobacco and constantly squeezing a hand-spring of 10-pound pressure.... occasionally he spat tobacco onto the floor:
'kike-end-dyke -- the safe-T-zone blueprints have been stolen and our most important base's security is now compromised! furthermore, intelligence reports that certain Taliban in the Kandahar region are actively seeking fissile materials through various agents from renegade agents in Russia and the Iranians!'
'well what do you think? you think i'm just sitting here with my dick in my hand eating Burger King?!! is that what you think?!!'
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