Monday, October 11, 2010

general petraeus assumes the stance in afghanistan: part 100

in fact, the 'dirty' Sanchez affair annoyed the Black Rook so much he decided to call in a favor from a CIA Agent he had helped with some renditions in former Soviet, Eastern bloc country - Latvia.

The Black Rook spoke to the spook for a moment and disconnected the call, his suspicions were confirmed, genetically, Sanchez from CNN was a Sephardic Jew -- having 30% Jewish DNA which was traceable back to female-line descendency -- the CIA Agent was able to confirm it from FBI files he had sneak-peeked which included genetic info on Sanchez from a Q-Tip saliva swab taken from Sanchez (and others at CNN) under the guise of free healthcare.

Sanchez, was unaware of his Jewish heritage, being that 9 generations before his own, his ancestors on his mother's side of the family migrated from Spain to Cuba to start an Orange-tree plantation (and in any case, had lost touch with their Jewish practices a further 240 years before that time), before Cuba was even a communist country in a time when Spain still controlled many interests amongst the Americas. All Sanchez knew was that communists were bad, baseball was good, hotdogs were good, American Universities could teach people more complicated words than core vocabulary and so on and so forth.

The Black Rook picked up his phone again, he was going to have to go on a quick mission to Israel, and he would be needing his own private airplane, but it would have to be CIA, not Military; so he would need to call in some favors. Also, he would need to quickly assemble or collect, on the way to Israel, his crack squad of Sephardic Champions. The Sephardic Champions were all about establishing balance between Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews, most normally at the expense of the former (Ashkenazi) Jews. The Black Rook spoke to an agent at the CIA:

'Get me Iranian President Akmadinajihad.'

Half a day later, the Black Rook was in the air in a private CIA Jet with Iranian President Akmadinajihad (a Jew hater) and a number of Sephardic Jews, many of whom had other genes apart from inbred Jewish genes, such as the Black Rook himself (who had mostly African genes), or Asian genes (in the case of Hershel Fong), and so on and so forth.

On approaching Israel, the strategy was to land in Jordan (Amman), enter Israel as tourists with fake passports and infiltrate amongst the Jews there in such a way as to be invisible not only to Mossad but also to the general ad-hoc security apparatus in place in Israel every day (where security does not feed into a pyramid-centralized system as it does in Russia and did in the USSR) but rather is handled laterally, 'on-site', as it were. The Black Rook's team rolled into Jerusalem and placed keychains on their belt loops at the side of their pants so as to follow the Jewish tradition of wearing a hip-tassle. This was the only Jewish tradition they cared for on this particular mission, they packed yeast-filled bread in contradistinction to the common Ashkenazi practice (unlike that used by the cerebral palsy character of the Black Rook's cartoon comedy - if you will recall).

The mission was to target the blonde/blue-eyed, Aryan-like, Ashkenazi Jews for a little bit of bullying and get out safely to Amman, Jordan, where their CIA flight was waiting for them --- and pick up some souvenir trinkets from the Arabs who made their livings in Jerusalem.

'You call that a spinning top?' said the Black Rook to a strong Jewish soldier on patrol in Jerusalem and carrying a sturdy machine gun, as the two of them looked at a spinning top that the soldier had spun on the table.

'How much did you pay for that top?' asked the Black Rook, '20 sheckels? Oh vey! You must be joking!' and with that the Black Rook started doing Hollywood action movie fight moves on the soldier a-la Stevan Segal.

Similarly, other members of the crack group had fanned out and started similar conflagrations. The soundtrack intensified the experience with chilling music. In an intensely climactic seen: Benjamin Nyetanyahoo and Akmaddinjihad (President of Iran) faced off and slowly circled around eachother, the former taking off his suit jacket and tie - the latter, who never wore a tie, cracked his neck from side to side and his knuckles and the two faced off and started doing more Hollywood-like fighting with kung-fu moves and boxing moves and much fake-glass shattering and hitting eachother with legs from chairs broken in the fight (on the other) and so forth.

Finally, after doing a little tit-for-tat on the Ashkenazi Jews, the Sephardic Jew squad left Israel and boarded their flight and in a twinkling of an eye, the Black Rook was back in Afghanistan (after having dropped off the other crack squad members, of course).

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