Saturday, April 30, 2011

general petraeus gets to his feet from his office chair, bumping it slightly and nervously laughing

'corporal kickarse sir,' said corporal kickarse, saluting...

'at ease, at ease kickarse... i was just reading this press release: Spring offensive starts now... looks a little disturbing...' said Petraeus....

'sir i've been thinking we need to stop pushing the Scandanavian line of products... a lot of Taliban i've spoken to said they don't need the Huskva soap holder and just want the frickin' infidels out of their country.... sir why are we representing Scandanavia to them?'

'Scandanavia? Scandanavia?' the notion set off a light bulb in Petraeus' head.... Scandanavia... Norway... the Norwegian Pearl! It was a giant cruise ship.... 'i've got it!' said Petraeus.... 'a cruise!'

'a cruise?' asked corporal kickarse...

'a cruise ship... instead of bombing people with predator drones, we'll send them on a giant cruise ship as a sign of goodwill...... do unto others! kickarse you're a genius!'

Petraeus immediately picked up his phone to start making some phone calls...
Shawshank redemption, Mozart scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ebWYwyDk_Y



in his 'yes we can' opera, Mozart had written a scene for two women, singing merrily and slightly peeved, on e of the women was unhappy her husband was drinking so much coke zero and watching so much tv.... she suspected coke zero was messing with his brain

* * *


outside of my imagination, in the world of perceptions, the television (that $2500 3-d marvel is on) --- Fox News, ABC, CNN - have all deserted their senses and abandoned themselves to shamelessly grovelling and dribbling before that boring-est of races, the English. As previously mentioned in this blog, the Americans were too busy partying in Mexico during spring breaks, to bother learning any new languages properly, this is why they only have effective relationships with Canada and England (and maybe Australia) - outside of their borders...

Just to imagine the squandered potential -- the three outlets: Fox, CNN and ABC could be doing the most marvelous of stories from all over Russia, every whenever, and instead, they have never given you anything good from Russia ever.... even the BBC do better than them in Russia......... probably someone at journalism school should have told them to eat more than just sugar............ even Barbara Walters: stop existing on sugar alone honey.......... mon Dieu........ it was really pitiful to lose an entire week of television from these people and watch them transform into dribbling, spineless jellyfish: pitiful!

So thanks(?) MTV for tool academy (this week)

MY ROOM IN SEOUL

MY room in seoul was by far the smallest room i have ever lived in -- it was so small i could only lie in it diagonally along a hypotonuse.... it was TINY... i couldn't even stand up in it -- only stooping -- TINY -- i spent 10 weeks in that little thing (but only at night)

that is the only time in my life, apart from a few nights in virginia with my korean gf (hi kitty kat if ur reading) right after 9/11 that i enjoyed watching jay leno

normally i would say jay leno is a dirty bitch who will go to hell and get buttfucked eternally by saddam hussein (and probably enjoy it as the highlight of his day) but in the case of that 10 week shoebox in Seoul and a few nights after 9/11 in virginia, i would revoke those statements... in general it's fair to say leno is destined for hell and being arse-fucked eternally by Satan.... god bless

anyway, in that room in Seoul, that's where i shaved with the wallflowers CD... is that useful information? no

meeting someone from the Wall-flowers girlfriend

'COMO' in spanish means: 'i eat/i'm eating' -- or else it means 'how'

sometimes the two are distinguished in written form with an accent on the first 'o' (in the 'how' form of the word) -- but only if written in lowercase (although an accent can be used in uppercase in spanish it is never obligatory)


one time in Topanga canyon, near Malibu... i met a girl with a broken leg or damaged leg or arm... it turned out her boyfriend was one of the musicians from musical group 'the wallflowers' - i told her i had a CD from the 'wallflowers' from one of my sisters and had been using it in previous months (in seoul, in fact) as a mirror when trimming my facial hair with a machine.....

it wasn't meant to be an insult...... i just never got into their music much -- nothing wrong with that -- she was a nice woman........

later that day.... before being pulled over by some cop (at night, in fact) -- i went off to a nearby restaurant with a couple of women who described themselves as lesbians but who, in fact, seemed more like groupies......

i walked away from the bar and saw one of the girls talking to some guy, the guy mentioned he knew some french, maybe he was from french canada... so it was a conversation starter....... it turned out he was some famous actor from dawson's creek tv show although i never knew who he was......... my female friend was mightily put out that i had interrupted their conversation.........

the elementary school a little behind marisol's 2nd australian home - where she currently lives - is called 'dawson' elementary (primary) school...... i went to high school across the road from dawson elementary/primary - for a while - later this year there will be a high school reunion of that school.... i won't be excited to meet a bunch of punk english people there uncomfortable with their own ethnicity -- but i hope to catch up with a pacific islander guy i was once good friends with there

yes, we can

as the two 18th century composers from the era of Napoleon, stood on the hillside in Cambodia, some two hundred years after their time, thinking about shooting RPGs at cow after cow, their lowing sounds bleating moo and bloody death, their eyeballs flying through the air, cows shuffling and lowing to move away, futilely, as each RPG found its mark.... ribs and rumps and blobs of gellitaneous, fatty cow occasionally landed near the two composers, finally Mozart, in a pause between RPG firings, broke the silence:

'i've started writing an opera...'

'what's it about?' asked Beethoven...

'i call it 'yes we can', it's partially set in a coca-cola factory, but i also have scenes in a mental hospital and a police forensics department... and a courthouse... it's about a crazed lunatic killer who drinks too much coca-cola zero... the chemicals in the drink that trick his brain into sensing sweet flavor, end up messing it up and causing him to become a serial killer/stalker/obsessive type... later he goes to a hospital and has a court-case... his defense lawyers argue coca-cola is to blame and counter-sues them...'

'wow' said Beethoven

'yeah wow,' responded Mozart

Friday, April 29, 2011

adventures of beethoven and mozart in cambodia

the two walk out to a red van and jump in it - mozart drives - the roof is covered in armory: rockets for RPG rocket propelled grenades

mozart flicks on the tv in the van which is tuned to bloomberg channel as the two pull off...

'look man, today's activity - it's gonna cost thousands of dollars in rocket grenades alone, and just wait until you see the targets, they won't be cheap either...

but guess what? courtney, my new finance person, is right on top of it... she's killed it beethoven.... she invested in futures and made a killing...'

'futures?' asked beethoven...

'yeah man, watch that strip at the bottom of the screen... it's telling you a speculated price of corn and wheat 8, 9 and 10 years from today,' responded mozart...

'but how can anyone know how much corn could cost 10 years from today?' asked beethoven...

'well no-one knows for sure, but you can factor in different denominators like likely supply, likely demand, likely change in policies like in brazil they make all their petrols with biofuels......... and then there's the weather.... we study la nina rainfall patterns and make educated guesses....'

'but what's the point?' asked beethoven

'well it's important that the farmers can be guaranteed a good price for their hard work beethoven, by speculating on futures the farmers can invest in a form of insurance for their own product in the event that prices for what they sow aren't up to scratch with what they thought they would be when they planted...'

'wow,' said beethoven....

'yeah wow,' responded mozart

'but isn't it all a form of gambling...'

'i'd have to say no,' answered mozart... 'you see, speculation provides the money for all kinds of business ventures to get off the ground... only a free market system can give research and development and entrepreneurs the support they need...'

'if that's true then why is a centrally planned, authoritarian society like china poised to become the world's biggest economy?' asked beethoven...

'man, we're here, you sure ask a lot of questions.... check out the view!' said mozart expanively...

beethoven saw a hillside covered in grazing cows... maybe mozart wanted to buy some shares in the farm there and move on to some other area to shoot his grenades.... 'are we gonna run down the hill and pat some of the cows?' asked beethoven jokingly....

'no buddy, we're gonna roll down the hill and shoot ALL of the cows, with our RPGs!'

senor Trump para presidente

el senor trump contrato a los senores parker y stone del programa de dibujos animados 'south park' para hacer de expertos sobre la china ya q. Los dos eran racistas de mierda y no sabian ni una puta mierda sobre los chinos aparte de q. Apestaban mucho... Tambien pudo contratar a unos tipos holliwoodienses para escribir cosas y discursos chungos y chulas, como x ejemplo:
'vamos a legalizarle a usted o devolverle a tijuana con su perro y su sobrerito', a los immigrantes ilegales, y etcetera...

'vamos a necesitar a un tipo listo como el karl rove q. Sepa de politica y votaciones y toda esa mierda, mira a ver a quien me puedes encontrar, ofrece un 8entley gratis...' dijo Trump.

'!este gobierno son unos putos gringos fachas!
!Me cago en sus putas madres!' dijo el senor Trump.

Un pobre periodista hablo por telefono mobil al alrededor de Trump y le mosqueo al senor Trump con su ruido, el senor Trump le metio el mobil en la boca del periodista y saco una pistola de debajo de su chaqueta, diciendole al periodista asustado, mientras sujetaba la pistola cargada al nuco del periodista:

'como vuelves a hacer eso te obligo a comer el puto telefono ese, !hijoputa!'

'si, si' asintio el periodista...

+ + +

'senor Trump', dijo un ayudante, 'algun hijo de puta del Fox News quiere hablar contigo,,,'

'joder!' dijo el senor Trump, 'esos putos mamones satanicos! Me cago en Dios! Diles que estoy buscando mis zapatos y q. Luego les llamo....'

'muy bien senor Trump,' dijo el ayudante...

Thursday, April 28, 2011

NWA - Real Niggaz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN8dK_xvcuQ

speaking of morning Joe

chemical brothers, Galvanize:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2hzVV2Nwfs



well, we mentioned marisol and her penchant for throwing morning Joe all over the walls... and those two can-shaking and splurting daughters of hers.... but we never mentioned my brother, Joseph Stalin's (UNCLE Joe's), relationship with those coffee-stained walls....

you see, despite being a jerkwad equal to these idiot life-hating american journalists that can only spell W.A.S and P.... and who only recognize white America and Britain's ability to dominate..... my brother Joseph Stalin had some kind of warped sense of humor, as evidenced by his famous show trials of the 1930s.... in this case, around 1980, the big joke was to take me to a power outlet on one of the coffee-stained walls, clinically and matter of factly tell me, to our sisters great amusement and delight, that upon flicking the power switch, 10,000 or even 100,000 (or more!) VOLTS of electricity would shoot through my body immediately causing death

upon this notice, i always ran away screaming retardedly.... what a hoot and a holler

coffee stains

well i may have exaggerated how much fringe hair my spanish classmate burnt as a result of my lighter manipulations...but not by much

now when i was a little boy, when, i suppose, my mother should have been teaching me to speak her language....my mother was in fact, throwing her leftover coffee, from each mug, onto the white walls.... Not becoz she was angry...but simply a laissez-faire hoop diddy momma attitude.... So that for years our white sheetrock walls in our cheap govt. Rent controlled 3 bedroom home, were always stained with dropping coffee marks... So much so that one of my first memories is of my two sisters shaking a can and then opening it againt the wall so that it could splurt there:

like mother, like daughter, as they say...

Now this ridiculous condition went on for some time... I remember i had a toy treehouse with a normal tree family within with normally decorated walls in their treehouse... Also i was embarrassed to invite my friends to our coffee colored walls house

years later, my father took it upon himself to paint the entire interior.... Goodbye coffeestains.... Hello shitty parisian looking dark colored shittily painted and dripping paint shittily interiors: sans a single coffee stain after that...hello french impressionists: renoir... Gagaun factory picture... Bosch.... Eurotrash!!!

Well my father must have said to his wife: no more throwing ur coffee leftovers on the walls bitch... And no more letting the girls open their soda cans on the walls.... The combined loungeroom dining room had khaki shitty baby shit colored walls in the loungeroom, very poorly painted....darker than light...the adjoining dining room study was painted a shitty soft tomato red

maybe my father was going for an artistic impressionist look by unevenly, unprofessionally applying the paint.... One memorable corner dripped white paint after he had carelessly splotched his brush there and let the paint drip and dry...

This was a great source of amusement later for a graphic designer friend

continued from page 6...

...(continued from page 6)... Couric, who has long been an outspoken advocate of gay rights in Thailand, recently came out boldly challenging various assumptions by saying, and i quote:
'flim flam boogaloo, flimmidy flammity, wop bopalooa, boogy, boogy, boogy, boo ya,' unquote...

When challenged to explain her remarks she said: 'boogy hoochy hoochy koochy moo ha ha ha ha'

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

going monk

well buddies, i should probably do myself a favor and start going 'monk' in the next few weeks

that would mean less tv and blogging about tv and more keeping the tv off and transcendental meditation and exercise and all that crap

i'll let u know how that goes


now, have been meaning to recall an incident from 1992 or early 1993 in madrid, spain... as a 16-year-old --- was attending extra evening classes at a private academy run by a friend of my auntie or my mother's siter, pepa..... pepa (the spanish short form of josephine) had a friend, victoria, who ran the academy --- victoria was very sweet and i daresay -- it's always a blessing and unique, in a certain way, to be amongst your own race, even if you are estranged from them culturally..........

there's nothing like being around people of your own DNA-gene pool -- a certain sense of warmth and belonging

now attendant in victoria's physics classes on vectors which i found quite perplexing was a pretty young muchacha who i never found so perplexing........ everyone in spain at age 16 wears denim jeans and denim jackets or else leather jeans and leather jackets and wears steel-toed colorado boots........ it's the post-facha look -- in spain you're allowed to buy beer and smoke cigarrettes at ur local high school - or at least you were in 1992 - and everyone is so goddam mature no-one is an alcohol binge drinker at school and just maturely drinks a little cana (with a swish over the 'n' pronounced 'canya') when they are 18 or 17 years old at the school cafeteria........ spanish people of spain are about 10,000 times more mature than you are......... it's a pity they hold themselves back in other areas with their catholicism and inability to learn how to speak english...........

in victoria's class, was a beautiful young damsel.... buxom and full bodies in the mandatory tight jeans......... one day i decided to play with her lighter to make it spew an enourmous 'flame' or 'yama' (i think that's the right spelling, yama (flame) and llama (call/be named) are homophones in spanish)......... later a few days later i saw the girl and her handsome, full-bodied 'bangs' or fringe of hair was gone! -- i asked her if she'd been having problems with her lighter lately and her face lit up as if to say:

'how could you ask me that with such a straight face you monstrous devil!' for you see, the beautiful muchacha had tried to lit a cigarrette -- also colloquially called 'pitillo' (or 'little dick') and had singed off her fringe in the process, thanks to little old me! i still laugh now remembering that

he he -- she was a good sport though, and a real beauty --- spanish women are foxes!

and in spain, you don't call a woman a 'bitch' (female dog) you call them a 'zorra' (vixen) -- so when u call a woman a 'fox' in spain you are actually insulting her, not complementing her!

puta zorra ! (vixen whore!) is a common spanish insult (in spain)

i'm here to tell you



the first time i ever jerked off Kate Couric was on the TV!



listen to Frank Zappa's 'Baby Snakes' here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ab5-nZPbYc

and Frank Zappa's 'Bobby Brown' here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac02hVqLV1Y

and Zappa's (insert large adjective here) classic, Broken Hearts are for Arseholes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPPvSiFLyXA&feature=related


'paper' in spanish is the same word as 'role' = papel

what is Miller saying about the Swedes?

everything is taken care of including your State burial when you off yourself coz of whhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt???????????????????????????

az ne razbirum! -- don't understand

isn't Bulgaria the happiest Nation in the world????

at the curmidgeon burger joint

at the curmidgeon burger joint it was double illegal mexican finger day: everyone was guaranteed at least two accidentally severed mexican fingers (of exploited meat production workers) bigger than the pinkie in every 100 burgers sold

'curmudgeon!!!!' yelled the happy souls and beamed chemically whitened white smiles before wiping their mouths on their curmudgeons....

I'm just saying

keep eating ur Turkey and saying ur thanks, jerkoff

(author's disclaimer: the author recognizes that former ussr non russians and eastern europeans are even worse than the westerners herein depicted)...

Hi buddy, my name's ataturk...wanna know why i hate americans? Why u never see me in kabul jerking off to a picture of stan grant or miley cyrus? Its coz ur all a bunch of arseholes! Even that guy that wrote 3 cups of tea....recently some friends of mine were hunkering down over some boiled potatos with their curmigeons in pashtun province when 'wolla!' my friends' shack was blown to pieces by some infidel unmanned robotic airplane.... Pretty lame huh?... Talk about acting the tough guy! And what r u ppl, communists?? Ive got three tons of opium waiting to go to market and now i have to plan an assault on an outpost full of tender 20 year old marines.... i just wanna blow some shit up dude, call it positive re-inforcement-endation-ism if u have to...just pack something black to wear to a funeral: if u survive that is, god i hate u buddy - ur frickin' despicable!'

ataturk is an occasional dabbler in the taliban, a staunch member of the moslem society for a greater curmidgeon and an honorate member of the people's society of curmidgeon carers...

r u looking at me?

let me help u learn to help urself...

Some simple tenets for u to write out all nice and caligraphically and post next to ur bed:

i) u've already done permanent damage to ur brain from masturbating too much

ii) ur an arsehole

iii) ur momma's a whore... She wore a malcolm X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her: too fat

iv) u spent ur life following ur reproductive organ around and cramming donuts down ur gullet... Go for a jog immediately

and another thing

to all those sephardim jew hating ashkenazi intellectual jews out there....we're getting pretty sick of ur top spinning... Shavas this and anti-semitic poo-pooing that....

Dont come with intellectuality and holocaust sob stories if your big come uppence is gonna be: u disagree with me so ur an anti-semite

if that's the only rot u can peddle then take ur curmigeon and ur dumb toilet paper frm harvard to china and go make me an X-box u big cry babies

taking a shot at everyone and peddling curmidgeons

well u know that everyone out there sux... Rich poor commie greeny lefty righty... It's no surprise... Nothing new under the sun... But has it ever occured to u that the problem could be solved perhaps once and for all with a curmigeon??? A curmigeon for all...

But what is a curmigeon? Or should u clam up and pretend u know what a curmigeon is so as not to reveal ur ignorance??? No matter, i'll tell u... A curmigeon is simply some kind of rag, attached to ur wrist with an elastic band for the purpose of wiping grease from your mouth....
Imagine ur at some devillishly delightful soiree.... Suddenly something fleshy catches ur eye and delights ur senses... The thrill of the chase is on! U approach them greasily gorging on a chicken wing and ask them if u can wipe ur mouth on their curmugeon as u left urs in the cellar...

Only but imagine.....

gratuitous TIME magazine bashing time again

hello psychedelic baby boomer senior citizens...

Look i tried to avoid schooling myself with as many dildos around me as possible... Which is why i avoided university as much as possible and similarly, never opened a book in the vibrator section of the sex sop (sic)...

As u know, occasionally i condascend to read a TIME magazine article to be continually met by some smug, self-assured ignoramus....

For once it seems that someone at TIME is writing like they havent been taking their meds...

Good to see, bravo TIME, but what was this writer of 'where are all the moderate republicans?' saying about Darwin?????

You would think that Darwin, for these muddle-headed americans (to quote nietzsche again) would be too challenging a mountain for these queefs to climb... 'Too many notes' as they say... Why do they want to touch Darwin??? Should a first year gymnast try to do a reverse triple axis somersault???

Why not write an essay about how sunny the beach was on your last vacation.... Hmmm? Monkeys???

Yale degree holding dribbling savages

let not these royalty worshipping, Yale degree holding, dribbling savages... let not this inept, incapable of intellectual advancement, snivelling snotty idiot, come to me for a handout when its home floods and its insurance company collapses... This leper of the mind!

That is all!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

the royal joke

the royal joke currently occuring really gives u an insite into just what kind of moron ur dealing with in the american news media and in america in generally

these pathetic weaklings, that won their freedom by defeating england in a war, as if that were some kind of amazing achievement that even a 2 year old couldnt pull off (try defeating russia in a war u dummy)... Never were able to get their ancestors out of their head and now slobber like a pathetic crackhead lying on a cardboard box in LA for a chance to grovel and pine at their ancestors royal heels like the pitiful, spineless weaklings that they are... Let someone remind them they have a Constitution that forbids hereditary titles.. Let some militia bomb them with a drone... Let them go live permanently in some african country with its own royal house... Let them grow a brain ... Pathetic snivelling england worshipping weaklings!!!!

IF A CHAIN IS ONLY AS STRONG AS ITS WEAKEST LINK

then how weak would CNN and FOX news be exactly?

why are they grovelling to their ancestors in England so pathetically...

bet you're wondering which Nazi was (or would have been) Rosemary Church in her previous lifetime ...

the pathetic, pitiful weakness of CNN and Fox news with their Royal grovelling to their ancestors in England is despicable

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKs-2dRVqak

..

father-son relationships, in the living years

south park's mr. garrison:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=booUd8KkIZY&feature=related

friends you know that there's a show called 'south park' and in it there's a very gay schoolteacher called mr. garrison who is pretty messed up in the brain and at one point becomes upset with his father because his father never flirted with him or wanted to have sex with him....

but what if your father is dead?

mike and the mechanics: the living years:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k

what if you never got around to asking your father to have sex with you? alot of men are walking around with that grief buddy... that's for sure... what if you never even knew your father? fat chance of asking him to have sex with you then buddy....

my father probably would have said the usual: 'sometimes i think you are mentally retarded...'

maybe even a two handed shove in the chest like that time at the bus-stop...

i wonder....

MY RUNNING TIMES

ARE pretty mediocre buddy - have quit smoking over a year ago.......

6 kilometres at 45 minutes -- non-stop running -- that 1/7th of a marathon -- that's probably with some inclines in the first 15 minutes or so

not very impressive

multiply that out and it would be over 5 hours to finish a marathon even if i could sustain that 6 kilometre rate another 6 times over....

so that's actually the only time Oprah Winfrey is ever gonna challenge you buddy -- she finished a marathon in 4.5 hours (but did she cheat?)....

apart from that, she'll never challenge you -- you're better off sticking a toothbrush up your arse if you want a challenge buddy

watch the Daffy Duck 'Despicable' remix here buddy -- it ain't called remix for nuffin' you know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKs-2dRVqak

Monday, April 25, 2011

black confessions, deepest darkest secrets

listen to this song by FEAR FACTORY - in my opinion their greatest ever: Replica -- this song rocks like your grandma being raped by a horde of vikings over 6month long sunset in scandanavia, buddy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RJsRQOneMY

THIS SONG by hard rock ensemble: FEAR FACTORY, is the only one i can name, apart from Pantera's entire album: Vulgar display of power, that uses the double-bass kick pedal (i'm not an expert on music buddy).... both the Pantera album and the Fear Factory song bring the double-kick bass pedal hard rock artform to its highest expression (in my humble opinion) -- check out this Pantera song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZQuSNJHyhA 'rise'

and if you need something softer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tymWpEU8wpM 'this love'


well, the snorkel wasn't all that great -- couldn't keep the water out of that dratted left lens and the water was too choppy and cloudy anyway......

so now to my deep dark confessions:

i) i headbutted a girl -- it wasn't like the time i was 4 years old and punched some other 4 year old (girl) in the nose and made it bleed coz my siblings were mocking me that she was brave and i was wussy for not jumping from the blocks at the deep end of the swimming pool (for if i knew remorse for that incident i am still not aware of it - but if you're reading this Laura -- sorry about that buddy -- although i'm not really remorseful of it -- so it's just a polite sorry).......... but i digress -- when i was about 23 i headbutted a compatriot in the head -- she was dripping wet with a towel wrapped around her and had burst into my bedroom (to throw my music cassette on the floor disdainfully as it had just been engaged in loudness) -- the thing to do was probably kiss her passionately and move on to oral sex or something -- but i just headbutted her instead: sorry about that buddy if you're reading, you know who you are

ii) and this is a doozy, another compatriot, this time not a citizen of australia but a citizen of spain, was also a live-in landlord and really being a grade A jerk so i got his toothbrush, wrapped it in tinfoil like for your microwaved potatos and stuck it up my arsehole... i even had shortie photograph it -- i know i was a dirty rotten bastard for doing that -- but now that i think of it, so was shortie for taking part in that! and i thought that girl had class.......

well, now to justice and remorse: i can:

a) say 'sorry about that buddy' to God the creator and try to bribe him with scooby snacks or something

b) go catholic, get pardoned by a priest on behalf of God, and then wait for the priest to go rape some kid

c) do a good deed especially to compensate for these two stinking bad deeds

d) sing a gypsy kings song and look around at the floor

my first recommendation to trump

to get a solid understanding of the primaries process... if you don't already have one... get a copy of that english guy geoffrey archer's book where the daughter of the gazillionaire hotelier runs for president -- it's an entertaining way to learn in detail the procedure for primaries....... have an expert verify if it's still current

there's some other political book i might recommend: all the king's men or something like that -- some southern politico runs for president --- only if you're constipated and in the john for the long haul........ if crapping on a smaller sized boat used by some pleb -- be sure to put ur toilet paper in a separate bag so as not to block up the boat's plumbing system

go kiss a baby!

oh yeah, i just appointed myself donald's new campaign advizer

when donald comes out and says: we're not dealing with albert einstein here people.... with reference to robert deniro; that's when i say: i've just appointed myself donald's new campaign manager.......... hell trump even gave kudos to deniro's acting..........

what more could u ask for?!

WHY UR GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH

coz the FED has been printing money like crazy! that's why $1 australian used to only buy 70 american cents and now it buys $1.01 american........

that's why gas in america is the same price as petrol in australia!

u have to get that FED to stop printing money! -- or tell them to continue!! by printing lots of money the FED is devaluating the value or their 1 trillion $ debt to china and japan

QEII buddy! it's not the queen of england after francis bacon's mom! (qeI) -- it's Quantitative Easing!!!!

off for some more gym and snorkelling today

it's still only just after midday in australia --- stay tuned for next blog: why my ex-girlfriends hated me (here's hint: check out my recent posting about Dharma)

PROUD NEW OWNER OF BOLD FRESH COFFEE flagon

a coffee thermos is an important part of my life -- as a taxi driver sometimes i only get 5 or 6 hours of sleep between 12 or even 13 hour long shifts......... a coffee flask that sits tightly in its holder is much needed

hitherto, i'd been using my good friend Karl Marx's beautiful red WILD BEAN CAFE flagon...... now i'm happy to say i've ordered one from Moses for only $6! (made in communist china).... sure i am paying $16 to get it shipped to Australia -- a bit pricey -- but think of all the money i am putting into American private enterprise in the shipping industry when they need it most!

now i'll have a red BOLD FRESH flagon or a bold red WILD BEAN CAFE flagon to choose from! thanks Karl and Moses!

well moving on: to fathers who advize their children to poke someone else's eyes out.... my father did just that to his daughter who was having some problems with some kids at school -- we're from a tough neighbourhood people -- Chris Rock would love my neighbourhood.... how tough is my neighbourhood? last year it premiered on Canadian nightly news because a pacific (mark that: pacific) islander approached an invalid wheelchair-bound Canadian in a wheelchair, extracted some steel from the wheelchair and proceeded to beat the Canadian with it, that's how tough my home town is.....

i don't miss it, having recently moved to a better part of Sydney recently - my new town is 100% Muslim and way closer to the rest of the city, not out in the sticks

so when i told some Californian friends about my father telling my sister to get a pen and stick it in so-and-so's eye if they try to mess with her - they were pretty impressed with it: they were like: yep, that's hardcore, wouldn't want to mess with that

unless you're ready to turn the other cheek, get ready for violence

some kid came up to me when i was about 10 years old -- we used to be tight -- but now he just hated me -- he sucker punched me in the gut and ran off to his mom waiting across the road in her car -- apparently i never thanked him mom for a ride after swimming so bam! punch in the gut -- what a jerk! --- shortly thereafter my father found out about it and got real upset and made a point of walking all the way up to these peoples' home and banging on their front door and yelling at them to come out..... i think as a kid i never had a problem turning the other cheek and taking a beating.....

sometimes u might even want a beating just for the heck of it..... after returning from Israel to my swanky home in paris at 1 boulevard pershing, porte maillot, paris (just down the road from the arc de triomphe)..... i was coming home from work at la defense and all of a sudden the cafe next to my apartment door had put out tables and chairs for the springtime --- and they were in my way!! -- THE AUDACITY! -- without thinking twice i flipped the nearest table aside like silly putty -- the owners were incensed and it looks like they were jews too (ashkenazi of course, not sephardim).... three or four of them gave chase and i never got away --- another beating --- no point taking on 4 guys at once -- thanks for that clobbering, i really needed that

pimple for a head

tell ur wife she has a pimple for a head and ur just looking for trouble

a safer strategy would be to watch Miami Vice repeats and keep ur mouth shut

the best thing about Miami Vice was the intro-song which was awesome along with the Jai Alai players in the show intro

try saying that you were saying she (someone else) has a PIMP pull for her head (pretend you were talking about Miami Vice when you tell your wife she has a pimple for her head -- and then say: no i was talking about Miami Vice, look: the PIMP is pulling the ho's head

better yet just get a divorce and date 22 year old girls

here's your alibi:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0MEtBQb2yM

remember: pimple for a head

watching Fox News with my 3-D goggles

like father like son.... my father was always bad-mouthing things but we were still some of the first white trash to have a VCR player in 1980 when i was four years old --- my father would bring home videos from his video club next to his workplace in the big smoke: i still remember watching 'silver streak' with richard prior or gene hackny or some actors like that -- black guy and a white guy......

my old man also got 3-D glasses but in those days they were celophane crap

my $2500 TV will convert ANY tv into 3-D AND THE $100 goggles with small battery will convert the fuzzy tv image into 3-D gold

Kilmead and Doocy never looked better buddy!

that $2500 TV


see as i played with my new 3-D goggles valued at $100 each after installing the 3-D transmitter valued at another $100 which was all thrown in for free with the $2500 display model TV which was reduced to $1700.....

while throwing some 3-d goggles packaging trash out, remembering the difficulties i had with my snorkelling goggles yesterday, which will need adjusting....

i realized that i used to have a vision impairment problem......... for many years -- i had completely forgotten about that -- completely -- but in fact, it was only a little over 6 years ago that i had LASIK surgery in Guangdong, China, to correct the issue.......that seems like lifetimes ago already....

so there's a counter-argument for re-incarnation deniers... if you cannot remember things from 6 years ago, how are you gonna remember stuff from 600 years ago? next to no chance buddy.......

just put your 3-D goggles on (if you have a pair) and enjoy James Bond in License to Kill...... tee hee

Sunday, April 24, 2011

newcastle accents

well, if you've been dumb enough to read this blog in its entirety - you would have seen a helluva lot of England bashing.... although zero Britain bashing..... but where do we draw the line? along Hadrian's wall of old? - that physical wall built to keep the Celts out?

regardless... we can affirm that if you ever have the chance to talk to a novo-castrian -- that is a native of Newcastle-upon-Tyne in England's far north..... take the opportunity to carefully listen to and enjoy their unique and likeable accents.......

that is all for now

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadrian%27s_wall

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/End_of_Roman_rule_in_Britain

now to snorkelling


what a revelation today was -- i cannot believe i have been so negative in past years as to not take advantage of snorkeling and the snorkeling conditions here --- who are you to deny spending one or two hundred dollars on some snorkeling equipment.... why deprive your Soul (unless you're one of the majority of Earthlings surviving on less than 30 cents a day - maybe just starve yourself a month or two or steal a snorkel or something) -- i cannot believe i waited so long to snorkel!!!!

it is so great to swim with the fish and reach out and almost touch them like the guy at the end of Silence of the Lambs...

do not try to fertilize the fish by secreting your seed nearby to the fish, thinking that you will spawn some kind of half-man, half-fish hybrid: akin to Conan O'Brian.... even if you went to the trouble of putting slits in your wetsuit -- it won't work -- take it from me....

likewise -- be careful if you try to pee in your wetsuit as if there is no air/space for the pee to flow to your bladder will become blocked and all your efforts to squeeze the pee out will not work

* * *

well while benji had never snorkeled until yesterday - for a certainty benji scuba-dived twice before yesterday's snorkel -- here's a picture with an asian love-interest, Fak Ye, my friend was fascinated by my explanations of Spanish language: 'nada' can mean 'nothing' but also 'he/she/it swims' and 'mas' (with an accent on the 'a' means 'more') but 'mas' (sounding the same but written without the accent means 'else') --- hence: 'nada mas' can mean 'nothing else' but also 'it/she/he swims more'.....

'que mas' means 'what else?' but 'quemas' means 'you burn'

more notes on theology



first of all -- on notes of theology -- we covered Jesus and the cruxifiction and said that Jesus 'never expired' (never physically died) there...... let's clarify

Jesus and Christ -- also the names of two American Border Patrol people that escorted me away from their border once -- were names that Joseph, son of Mary and God and godson of his father Joseph, husband of Mary and father of her other children; were names that Joseph earnt... after his training was complete -- Joseph was tested and earnt the appendage: 'Jesus' -- meaning -- the anointed one -- by the way -- anyone that uses the term 'anointed one' sarcastically, is blaspheming.... shame on them....

so Jesus was a special name that the man Joseph earnt... but it was only when John the Baptist baptized him, even according to the famous section of the Bible, when the 'Holy Ghost' descended on Jesus in the form of a spiritual Dove..... this 'Holy Ghost' made Joseph the man 'the Christ' -- as previously mentioned, like a 'Super Warrior' in Dragon Ball Z cartoons -- not just a mere Master but something like a maximum Superman..... in fact, this Christ spirit stayed with Jesus while his name was Jesus -- probably for various months while he was kicking the most arse he had ever kicked -- healing lepers and restoring sight to the blind and curing the lame and such ----

it was when Jesus was on the Cross, being crucified by the Romans, when he uttered his famous sentence: 'Helios, why are you failing my arse?' This has been taken to mean that 'Helios' (a Greek word) was referring to God and Jesus was doubting God... however Jesus kicked so much arse because he was in attunement with the strength, power and Glory of God at the highest level possible -- which, if anything, would have lead to Spiritual Loneliness, relative to conditions of Earth.... but not doubt in what God was up to...... in fact, Jesus' school of disciples numbering scores of people were supposed to get him down from the Cross as soon as possible.... 'Helios' referred to the school of people (disciples) -- not God

while Mary was impregnated immaculately as a young virgin by some kind of Holy Spirit of God in Heaven -- this does not mean Jesus was God -- God does not appear on Earth as a human...

while still on the Cross -- Jesus gives up the 'Holy Ghost' -- that descended on him when John, who was worthy, baptized him (probably) months earlier.... giving up the Holy Ghost meant Jesus was no longer a 'Super Warrior' (see picture) but just a regular Master ninja..... which would have made it more difficult for him to deal with the challenge of the excruciating ordeal of physical cruxifiction.... after giving up the Holy Ghost on the Cross - Jesus is no longer Jesus, the Christ, akin to a living God at the highest vibratory level of God, and becomes the mere Master Joseph (see picture of Goku with black hair - sans 'Superwarrior' status....

finally, 'Helios', Jesus' brotherhood and school, was able to bail him out and get him somewhere where he could recuperate, some kind of hospice or tomb or hidden place.... Joseph recuperates amazingly and is strong enough to move himself with others after various hours pass......... Joseph goes on to live an exceedingly long, long life... his public mission as 'the Christ' over.... he goes into hidden closet in northern Palestine and occasionally receives students for dozens and dozens of years after the cruxifiction happened....

these are the FACTS -- even if you have a Master's Degree in Theology from some expensive American University and your version is different, your version is wrong -- this is the real version - free of charge -- and don't assume that this version is not and has not already been stashed hidden away some where in Vatican City for many, many long years

Saturday, April 23, 2011

in fact

in fact, with obrien, u might even while the time away writing some comic operetta based on obrien's own experience as a gross and disgusting slimy worm... U could ppl ur scenario with any number of vile, bilish slugs... Obrien's brothers, if u will...

Just talk amongst urselves for a while... Gonna take a little nap

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

wait... Why would i say that about Kate Couric

i am taking that back about Kate Couric... She is so nice...even if she wants to save every single dolphin... I have nothing but non-stalker/non serial killler love for Kate Couric... God Bless her precious little heart...

With obrien there's nothing to take back... We dont hate him anymore than the unfortunate slug we step on and mushily finger-pick from between our toes

Friday, April 22, 2011

adding to the previous post

therefore, 5wyniff Palthrough and the writers from Glee are masking some kind of cry for help in a sickly-willed French grunt of resignation at the difficulty and pointlessness of life, instead of just thanking Spain for discovering ad handing over California to their dumb English arses years ago...

But the sickly-willed argument they present: that Anglo-American standards of happiness are the greatest isnt French but really a cry for help...

Lets look at the following animals for instruction: Conan Obrien and Kate Couric... Both weaklings have suffered from mental illness and struggled with their own homosexuality for decades... obrien presents the spectacle of a guppy or small fish... Entertaining for a few minutes but generally
boring and uninteresting and of low nutritious value...obrien survives in the universe and food chain by lobotomizing its frontal lobe...painting a grin onto its dangling head and wearing a sign around its neck saying 'happy'... This is the happiness America is ramming down ur throat... It is not the happiness of the Superman

in the case of Couric, doctors advized her early on to undergo elective surgery to shut down key parts of her brain and take injections that would cause her to giggle every ten minutes and slap her thigh whenever she hears a canned-laughter track... Couric is worthy of ur charity... Open ur heart and wallet to her...

why you're not evolving

friend, if you're reading this, you can be sure that you are behind me in every respect that matters..... EQ, spirituality, understanding of the Dharma, practice of the Dharma, etc... granted, in this lifetime you might be learning about Faith, or Loyalty, or Relationships, or some particular thing, bet on it, if you're a gambling man, that i am looking back on you from the finish line.......

in this blog we frequently make reference to Nietzsche and the Superman.... Nietzsche affirmed that everything must produce something BETTER than itself, and man is no exception..... Nietzsche also said that while generations might retrograde, so that people of today are possibly behind people of the 1950s or 1930s...... the generally turn of events, at present, is that MAN MUST RISE...... mankind, as a race, as a totality, must rise much higher and become an ADEPT.... something great..... not a retarded airhead

at present, we have major cultural groups: Russians, Anglo-American bigots, Hindus, etc..... each major cultural group chooses to identify with its own group and reject the existence of the others as much as possible as too challenging to the intellect

in this blog, we occasionally reference the Chinese, or some other Nation, but we mostly focus on ridiculing the despicable Anglo-American comer..... this group was already rejected utterly by another American: the Afro-American who finds the Anglo-American nasty and despicable on so many levels.........

I myself have rated the Anglo-American higher than the Catholic (of any Nation or Race) -- but not by much --- in many regards, the Muslim is far in advance of the Anglo-American as the Muslim is not suffering from alcohol and sex addiction and obesity.... generally, the Anglo-American seeks to cut corners and whore it up

this is dangerous because the Anglo-American bigot eventually, in conjunction with his Euro-trash neighbours -- seek to genetically engineer his own DNA so as to gain things without working for them........ in life, eventually, everything you have, you have earned... and very often what you wish for as your greatest desire: fame, wealth, etc; may end up proving to be your worst curse.... take it from me

the Californians, in general, are champions of championing fame as an end, a goal, a proof of something --- PR stunts, media blitzes, album sales... but the Californians, as lovely as they can be, are only human, and therefore amazingly stupid (see first paragraph) -- in fact, California, discovered by my ancestors in Spain, was later given up to the Anglo bigot who evolved into the Anglo-American bigot (without the friendship of his compatriot, the African-American (bigot)........

it is a sure sign of SOUL-LESS-NESS: the event of the human Soul being so smothered and disregarded by VICE and SIN of every kind (laziness, covetuousness, whoring, pride, presumptiousness...etc); when an Anglo-American-Californian bigot tries to champion the riches and fame of the famous that they have created as the HIGHEST GOOD: THE PINNACLE OF HAPPINESS

America walks a path, moreso amongst the more air-headed Americans, of Godless air-head-ed-ness: championing fame and wealth as a standard of happiness.... championing the freedom to be a jerk as a standard of happiness.... championing the freedom to crap on everyone as a standard of happiness........ championing SHIT as a standard of happiness....... bombing people because they aren't as happy as you


Gwyneth Paltrow and the writers of Glee are WORSE than Nietzsche's estimation of the Germans....... Glee makes great music and ok dance moves but the standard of intellectuality of the writing is 2nd grade pro-homosexual Godless manipulate your DNA and then scratch your head when you have cancer -- and then go to hell with CNN while i sip martinis with Hay-soose (Jesus)

it is better to be a blind and stumbling Scrappy-Doo-er like Sean Hannity than to be an evil anti-African Paltrow/Glee writer.

see you in Hell buddy (i'll be watching from Heaven.)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

bittersweet butterscotch in libya-ration

Fac and Stiffy had their duel with Stiffy bested again ... At least by a man this time, albeit a french one... Afterwards the two learnt to respect eachother and a friendship blossomed.... Stiffy showed Fac various snippets of hidden video he had shot in nyc whilst attending 12 step self help meetings in manhattan... The metings were for people who had all done terrible things and sought resolution by fessing up to them... Fac was fascinated by the short videos Stiffy showed him... In one video, a man called Rob stands up amongst his peers and says,

'hi everyone i'm Rob, i've been a terrible son of a bitch.'
'hi Rob,' the group of about 20 12-steppers responded supportively...
'well i haven't been terrible for 2 years now...'
'great job Rob!' someone offered supportively....
'thanks,' said Rob, 'well it's the 10th anniversary of the day i finally put my mom into old age care... I had her locked up in my basement...collecting her pension checks and spending them on mara-jew-ana and al-key-hole...' Rob was a real arsehole Fak thought to
himself...
'one time i sent her to the local cornerstore, in the old days before i stopped hosing her down with suddy water.... She brought me back the wrong ice cream so i threw it all over the all and berated her terribly...'

'wow, Rob is a vrai arsehole...' said Fac to Stiffy... 'that is some crazy shit...'
'that's nuffin',' said Stiffy...who himself spoke up at meetings about dressing up corpses and soon to be corpses of Afghanis he'd shot up in war there.... 'this sheila here... Wait til u see what she did...'

is sean hannity scrappy doo?

hannity is always saying he is gonna 'splatter' obama and 'let me at 'im' and such and what a chicken he is for not 'coming' (sic) on his show... We wonder if scrappy has tied the real hannity up somewhere and wearing one of the famous scooby disguises commonly worn by spooks on scooby

more fox news commentary

recently on Greta Van Susteren, Karl Rove, made reference to 'doodle'.... i was busy in my kitchen and barely could hear it.... i tried rewinding it but couldn't find the reference again...... maybe i had hallucinated it........ later that afternoon, at my mom's home.... the same show was in repeat.... i caught some repeat of some other reference and listened for the 'doodle' but couldn't stop and wait -- had to take out the trash....

if i didn't just hallucinate that doodle business... then what is a 'doodle'.... even Greta asked this question according to my perception....... does anyone know what a doodle is? ....... the woman on ABC News -- the blonde -- that flew out to Afghanistan a few months ago -- about 60 years old.... does she have a doodle? what is a doodle? can i buy one for 50 pence?

how spain kicks arse


Limp Bizkit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMVOzPPtiw

Sesame Street:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw

well i was gonna continue about some of my time in Dongying in Shandong province, home of Confucias (Kong Zi in Chinese).... just to remark on a niteclub with a dancefloor that bounced of its own design -- launching everyone on it a few inches into the air.... there was no room for anyone to move around much on that dance floor (read zero - packed in like sardines) -- but they all got launched into the air --- some of the 'dancers' (really 'bouncers') --- were using a horse tranquilizer drug called 'special K' -- made to relax the muscles of horses -- their bodies would have been mightily relaxed on a muscular level........

but i digress.....

i did want to write about that - but now i really want to touch on Spain and the aggresiveness and eventual restorativeness and peace-producing-ness & soothing-ness of her energy and speech...

Lil Jon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYH7_GzP4Tg

come to Spain with me now.........

the language is replete with various references to the human anatomy and bodily functions........ one of my first observations of this was as a sixteen year old sitting at a dinner table with extended family and noticing uncles and aunts, and, yes, grandma.... with their middle class bourgeois lives and university degrees and apartments and cars and carefully and neatly ironed clothes and immaculately groomed outfits, coiffures and such -- peppering their conversation freely and liberally with the spanish word 'cono' (the n is written with a little wave over it, like in espana and pronounced as 'ny' in canyon).... it's translation is 'vagina'.... when conyo is used in spanish it is used inbetween bites of information to pepper the phrase and give it extra affirmation -- somewhat like an uttered, standalone, 'Jesus' in english (in Spain if you sneeze people will say, 'Jesus' and smile warmly at you)

it is not used like 'cunt' the way the english use it, whose language, framed by Francis Bacon, the illegitimate son of Queen Elizabeth the 1st, the 'Virgin' Queen -- contains 'can't' -- pronounced basically the same as 'cunt' and 'last' pronounced basically the same as 'lust' --- these two shrewd devices were most likely invented by the great Genius Bacon himself.......

however when an english-man or one of that mould or education uses the word 'cunt' as an expletive -- it is not at all the same as the spaniard uses it --- for the english usage is as a metaphor -- but the spaniard is really more trying to draw ur attention to the existence of the female reproductive unit -- however, u could argue that both language and nations basically use the word in the same way.... but to be sure, the Spaniard NEVER calls another person a 'vagina' as the englishman does -- the englishman refers to a situation, a scenario, a person, whatever as a vagina on a daily basis (see below confusion in english language between 'come' (to approach) 'come' (orgasm)...... the Spaniard, as said, NEVER refers to a person as a 'vagina' metaphorically, the Spaniard is merely saying 'vagina' inbetween sound bites: !vagina! (dag-doodly!) it's totally raining, dude......i need an umbrella......(!cono! esta lloviendo, necesito un paraguas tio).... no-one or no-thing is being called or referred to as a vagina in Spain

in spain 'conyo' (cono) is much more commonly used in normal daily speech amongst ALL of the inhabitants -- whereas in england it might be perceived as crude or innappropriate amongst certain classes -- in Spain it is not considered rude

but while the englishman might make reference to 'bollocks' (the gonads or testicles) -- the spaniard does the same, (cojones) but really goes the extra mile around the block and then some

the englishman no longer refers to the sweat and anything else that might be exuded from the male sex organ as the englishman has the word 'come' to use, whereas in spanish, there is no confusion, on a subconsious level, about 'coming' as it always only refers to the opposite of 'go' (to approach) and never to orgasm........ and anyway, as stated, the english language (of england) has the built in device of last being a homonym of lust and can't being a homonym of cunt --- the puritans of the mayflower, no doubt, were the ones that wanted to drop this aspect of british english (well perhaps anyway -- but it would be an interesting linguistic matter to see how this deviation in the psychology of british and american english ocurred anyway)..........



now spanish has none of this and everything is laid out in plain site for everyone to hear......... there is no point being bashful in spain -- people are gonna make reference everyday to what 'come out of your balls' (lo que te sale de los cojones)....... for example: you can do whatever the fuck you like = you can do whatever comes out of your balls (lo que te sale de los cojones)

in spain constant reference is made to what 'touches your dick' (not your balls) -- for example -- if you don't care about something, it 'touches your dick' --- dude that touches my dick astoungingly = i really couldn't give a crap (tio eso me toca la polla sobremanera)

now what's really amazing is that the english (of england and therefore of australia and new zealand) never stop talking about 'blood' -- bloody this and bloody that and bloody cunts......... however the spaniards don't touch it with a 50 foot pole, instead the spaniards make reference to the 'milk' (la leche)...... which the english do NOT do...... now this 'milk' (leche) .... which is constantly referred to as basically 'the shit' (in american english) might be reproductive fluid however it can be construed as breastmilk also --- it's really an amazing difference between spain and england: milk (leche) vs. blood/bloody (never used in spanish except in medical cases)

then the spaniards start shitting on EVERYTHING: ur whore of a mama (me cago en tu puta madre, dude) --- your whorish dead (me cago en tus putos muertos)....... the whore that gave birth to you (me cago en tu puta madre)....... in the sea (me cago en la mar) ..... in ten (me cago en diez).......... in the afore-mentioned ever-present almighty 'milk' (leche) ---> me cago en la leche (said everyday in Spain at least 100,000 times a day for sure (Spain's population = 40 million+)

finally as if all the 'milk' (leche) -- whores (putas) -- dicks (pollas) --- balls/bollocks (cojones) wasn't enough -- we have the topic of buttfucking -- the british english equivalent is 'bugger' and is commonly used in australia and probably in england too..... literally, buggery is bastardization or penetration of the anus with the penis, however probably a great many english people forget this and anyway, the psychology is confused in the case of the englishman by his usage of the word 'wog' -which refers to an insect like pest (see sect)...... bug = wog .......... bugger

in spain buggery is 'tomar por culo' (literally: taking it up the arse)........ typically in spain people will make reference in polite society everyday, in the office, with grandma, at the local bar, wherever to getting arse-fucked.......... example: Jon needs a hand with his window ..... let him get buttfucked (screw Jon/forget about him/who cares) (que se vaya a tomar por el culo)

sudar: to sweat --- the function of sweat is often referred to in Spain .... we referenced that what touches your penis amazingly means squat (nothing) = who cares....... but we also have the expression: it makes me sweat amazingly (used sarcastically = i couldn't care less) --> me la suda sobremanera.....
it makes my dick sweat dude (me suda la polla tio) = i totally don't care dude

narices: NOSTRILS - i have found no other language or culture that has this mystical additional talk of NOSTRILS -- as you know -- the soul enters the nostrils at childbirth.... you could spend days and days just listening to how spaniards pepper their phrases with 'nostrils' on a daily basis..... and fill notebooks with it...... great reference is made to the nostrils in Spain daily by the Spaniards


Spain, being ruled by Saturn, probably has more many-lived Souls than most countries do (excepting Asia)......... people in general, all over the world under Pisces and most of Aquarius --- in the last 7th of the Solar Year (which begins March 20th with the spring equinox) are born under Saturn and therefore naturally inclined to like Spain and to have lived more lifetimes on average than the rest of the Souls born at other times.... statistically speaking....... even a very young Spaniard child or a Spaniard of any age will use a common Spanish practice which is bunch the tips of the thumb, forefinger and middle-finger and point these upwards and lower their hand in this position a few inches downward -- this is programmed into the Soul of the Spaniard........ the only other race to bunch their fingers in this way naturally are the Chinese -- in China -- this gesture means the number 7 and you just go and ask a Chinaman -- from Singapore or wherever, if they are worth their salt, they will show you this finger bunching for number 7 --- talk to a Spaniard and see if you can ever observe them using this finger bunching described above -- normally for emphasis in a face to face conversation

sadly, in today's world -- we are all moving towards superficial relationships via technology and losing the power and naturalness of normal relationships as they were even only a generation ago, sans, cellphones, iPhones and iPods and smartphones and labtops, etc

sex and reproductive sex in Spain are very frequently referred to as 'echando un polvo' and 'echar un polvo' -- literally: to spread/disperse/move about (a) DUST.... it's curious to note, in this regard, that Saturn, of all the planets, is the one that has beautifully 'echado polvo' -- spread about DUST -- notice the rings of Saturn

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

beck departs fox news...

sadly, perhaps becoz some people at foxnews have names that sound like chronic beer drinkers: trace gal lager and roger ales... It seems the toy that was glen(n) beck is no longer any more fun for fox news to play with... What a pity

i recall bidding adieu to dongying in shandong province years ago....next to china's largest domestic oil concern: the shengli oil fields... My cute elementary students and i were destined for distant paths and i was surprised when one kid with some parent or teacher made a big show at a kfc or some such place of begging me to stay...or what seemed even like pretending to beg me to stay...

What was with the cutsie routine? What gave? Did the kid or his parents want me to rape him or something? Shut the fuck up already kid...im done with ur 10 rickshaw up and down town.... Next!

Trump petting hawks

So ran the headline... Trump was petting the China deal again... This time insisting visitors from communist china pay a ten pelican (Trump's proposed name change from the dollar) fine... administerable by anyone present for noisily and nastily hawking phlegm and spitting in public places like Carl's Jnr burger joint near LAX airport...

Trumps new political advisor, Mr. Snuffalupagus advized him to make w. The folksy routine by accidentally peppering a phrase w. A seemingly innocent and unplanned....

'we're getting sick of those motherfuckers hawking shit up noisily in our faces like dirty fucking pigs... And another thing... We're all getting pretty fucking sick of hearing ur cell phone conversations so its time to shut the fuck up...'

Trump outlined his metal hygiene act: no cell phone conversations in enclosed spaces like resxtaurats, buses etc...unless using a special little room like smokers do at airports... All communist chinese were to stop hawking phlegm up noisily and trying to tout body organs on the black market was also banned.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

never the same color

i was happily out of the tv loop for a couple of weeks and now my cable tv is operative again and what a tv: $2500 worth of 3-d 200 hertz televisual POWER....

unfortunately -- the americans, in their wild dash to be number 1, like the proverbial rabbit in aesop's fable of the hare and tortoise --- has the worst TV colors in the world as americans went with NTSC so early into the game -- like in the 1960s........ or 70s..... that it became a STANDARD so early -- that when PAL came around -- all the Lamanites in the rest of the world ended up winning by getting PAL -- much better resolution -- when you have a $2500 42 inch LCD 3-d playing Sony monster -- you really notice that crappy NTSC

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NTSC

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PAL

poor Glen(n) Beck -- not the colors --- but that he is getting axed........ don't axe him Mr. Ailes, sire....

bring out el guimpo

can oprah winfrey challenge u?

No.


Ashkenazi jews everywhere celebrate passover... Commemorating when jew lover bill o'reilly saved the ashkenazi jews from pharoah and egypt....

If an ashkenazi jew makes fun of u he's a comedian...if u make fun of an ashkenazi jew ur an anti-semite.... Ashkenazi jews that dont pay enough tithes are anti-semitical ... English people of england are mentally ill and need to
be carefully humored like sancho panza humored don quixote.... The catholic church wants to buy ur soul and keep it for 'Morgoth' (from tolkien's 'silmarillion')

Monday, April 18, 2011

scotsman baynard howles overseas security in the republic of ireland for the queen's visit

'goodness gracious,' said swashbuckling red-nosed brandy drinker baynard howles as he walked through the arraignment section of a local courthouse.... 'look at the these dastardly sons of bitches -- what are they saying? i cannot even understand what they're saying!'

at this intrusion, some irish lads from some far-flung out of the way province of ireland started indecipherably mumbling something which seemed to indicate they did not appreciate howles intrusion.... it sounded like some howls, in fact....

'this potty wretched bastard here was in the ira for 15 years sire,' said gwendolin, his assistant for the day, also a scot.

'it won't be safe for her majesty here,' pronouced howles after scanning the room one more time, 'not a majestic bone amongst these lot here, bloody toffee-nosed dirty bastards the lot of them.'

Sunday, April 17, 2011

of cults and millionaires

eminem looked at his bank balance: lots of zeros -- looking pretty healthy -- nothing to worry about there -- he wondered what to do today -- why not sit by the swimming pool and sip OJ?

as he did so he wondered about his life: he'd climbed the mountains and planted his flags on the top of every one -- he need never worry about working hard to establish a retirement fund or college fund for hailey....

in the newspaper there was an article about a cult leader in northern california: cult of ploopsie......... a lot of famous people were starting to follow this guy - even putting their money into his bank account -- he seemed to be offering a salve to any residual guilt they had flushing around in their systems

the guru - lord ploopsie - he sure didn't seem to be shy about asking for payment, his bank of america account number and details for depositing money were right there in the article, was that legal?????

slurp slurp slurp -- the straw hit air at the bottom of the glass as the OJ drained away completely.......

libya-ration - that epic war movie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWYaH_CJG1A

this wouldn't be the first time that ace stiffy would take a beating -- previously, with the butterscotch biscuit scenario -- he ended up taking a beating from perky staff in a mano-a-mano fistfight that saw spectators betting on the side and hooting and hollering as staff beat the crap out of stiffy --- later staff was forgiven by the tommy lee jones secretary of defense character

now it looked like stiffy would be boxing again.... first fac got all huffy and puffy and made the mistake of disrespecting parker's samoan character (played with bronzing cream and medication not shoe polish as the latter would just be racist and offensive) fala falafa (or whatever his name was):

'don't touch me whiteboy, i'll rip your f*cking head off,' said falafa in his flat samoan accent which immediately garnered him respect.....

next thing stiffy and fac went at it.... toe to toe

Saturday, April 16, 2011

libya ration - da latest

no doubt u've heard nicholas cage has recently been arrested becoz he felt frustrated at not being cast in the epic film: libya-ration

well worry not nicholas, you have just been cast as the dashing french colonel swasson fac
....

Scene 10:

swasson is wetting his whistle wet with stiffy and co... After a few drinks, everyone's inhibitions are drowned....

'so tell me again, Fac, how it is u french cunts have an entire aircraft carrier covered in state of the art fighter jets and u cannot even keep 5haddafi's forces at bay'

incensed and turning red, Fac rose to his feet abruptly and grabbed Stiffy by the lapels of his coat, 'how dare u refer to my people as 'cunts' you dirty english bastard.'

gilligan's island - finally - a rescue

that whole cowardly yay or nay of the modern condition that Nietzsche referred to about 19th century Europe, i wonder if Nietzsche could have imagined how terrible things were to become in Eastern Europe under the Russians -- he certainly did indicate his understanding of certain conditions that did eventually come to create today's modern Eastern Europe -- possibly the most terrible place on the Earth............ or maybe just one of its female productions can make it seem that way...........

well -- speaking of sit-coms with no laughing track, Gilligan's Island - the rescue episode is available on DVD for 10 cents......... if you'll take it

what a hoot and a holler

alvarez (or is that martinez?) vs. rove

http://news.yahoo.com/s/atlantic/anotherpollconfirmstrumprepublicanfrontrunner36723;_ylt=ArIVWXOXPPaPfLmg_cXRQZdk24cA;_ylu=X3oDMTQ3N2Q4dGk5BGFzc2V0A2F0bGFudGljLzIwMTEwNDE1L2Fub3RoZXJwb2xsY29uZmlybXN0cnVtcHJlcHVibGljYW5mcm9udHJ1bm5lcjM2NzIzBGNjb2RlA3JkbmJlBGNwb3MDNQRwb3MDNQRzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3JpZXMEc2xrA2Fub3RoZXJwb2xsYw--


well if u have a look at the polls -- trump is the leading republican candidate..... however who would have married trump and republican? that might sound dumb but everybody's shittily nutrified brain has yet to burn that new synapse into place....... we know from cnn we are meant to bow down to anglo-saxon man (and woman) but we only know (we the public conception) that trump is a real estate entrepreneur who had his own apprentice show.... possibly wears a hairpiece.... that's all we know

even though we know trump is rich, why would we think he's republican, even if we know he might run for president

the time is NOW for trump to come out of the closet and announce his candidididity (or whatever it's called) and make it clear once and for all that it's with the republicans or new age party or democrats or whoever he is gonna run with

obama will be hard to overthrow -- by putting an african without the all-powerful magical anglo-saxon name in the presidency, america is sending a strong message to the middle east: pick up a weapon and kill something for your right to be a faithless whore

come in ur pants, friends, my brain's still working, even though urs isn't

well we just touched on Trump who is always -eting (Trump - eting) how 'America is the laughing stock of the world' --- which is one of those gross generalization throwaway remarks...... mathetmatically speaking, let this remark = bullshit

now if u take the time to go to yahoo.news.com and watch ABC's latest batch of crap -- oh did i say crap? - i meant hidden camera crap-shots.... this will be our mathematical definition of crap for the sake of clarity: let latest ABC hidden camera crap-shots = crap

you see, the reality is as follows: American spends all of its energy championing the value of having an english-sounding anglo-saxon name............ by doing this it puts england in an difficult position -- along with the british subject nations of northern island, australia, new zealand, etc............. and the upshot is that eastern europe all hates america.......... despite not exporting dumb laugh-track programs to the rest of the world anyway (the eastern europeans)..... another upshot is that spanish people are supposed to live in your country like a criminal and clean your windows for you.... no-one can respect america in western europe -- except maybe the germans who like the whole blonde hair ideal and germanic anglo names .......the russians are left alone to go crazy amongst themselves.... let the foregoing remarks = reality

so now look at the following mathematical statements:

bullshit (b) multiplied by crap (c) minus reality (r) = hella fucked (hf)

[that's b.c-r=hf]

therefore, using algebra:

hf (hella fucked) plus reality [hf + r] must equal bullshit x crap (b.c) hf+r = b.c


now it is true that 1 = 1/1 therefore let hf+r = 1........ now then 1/hf+r = 1/1

therefore 1/hf+r = 1 therefore if hf+r = b.c then 1/b.c = 1

this means that bullshit times crap = 1


solve bullshit:

bullshit = 1/crap

Thursday, April 14, 2011

2014, president trump... some weeks later

the blowback from the new currency and cancellation of american bond debts wasn't so bad... what with the neverending strife in the middle-East -- the rebellion that never ended -- and the slow and languorous transition away from a petroleum based energy economy.... at the end of the day, China wasn't in a position to do anything about it... and neither was Japan -- Trump saw to it that the Japanese were compensated with plenty of detergent boxes with the light bulb/fish head on them that looked like Homer Simpson's head and everyone was satisfied except for a few people that remained within 200 miles of fukushima nuclear power station.....

what really surprised President Trump was how well the chinese took it all.... at one point, the 2nd in command, Wen Jiabao --- who looked like such a nice guy --- someone you would never expect to plumb your body for organs while you were taking a catnap on the train-ride home.... sympathized with Trump and his predicament: for Ivanka was without a kidney and there were no donors available due to an unusual genetic medical issue.... there was a machine in California at UCLA which would be able to 'paint' a brand new kidney for her but it wouldn't be ready for another 3 years, by which time it would probably be too late....

Wen Jiabao, China's mild-mannered number two guy for years, frankly gave himself a tap where his own kidney sat within his own abdomen functioning perfectly and said to President Trump: 'top quarity, big discount, no plobrem,'

Trump realized that this was a sincere offer, and not guided by an attempt at swaying him to recognize the validity of the former currency, the Greenback, so that China could exchange billions and billions of Greenbacks to the new currency: the Hempi-oca..... what a nice guy, thought Trump, and wondered about his proposition...

2014, president trump

oval office:

enter white house aide with various other aides and heads of office:

'mr president, the nation is officially broke... we don't have any money left...'

'how much money do we owe china?' asks Trump

bernanke from the fed responds: 'the bond repayments for this year alone will amount to 200 billion dollars.'

'and in total, what are our total commitments to china in bonds?' asks Trump

'almost 1 trillion dollars sir,' responds Bernanke.

'get me my speech-writer, we're gonna default,' says Trump.

'you mean delay payment on the rest of this years bonds,' asks Bernanke.

'no, i mean we're gonna forfeit all of those bonds... and let's change our currency so that all the currency the chinese have, and those nippers in japan, is useless.... let them burn it, that's what they like to do over there for their dead ancestors, isn't it?' Trump deliberated authoritatively....

another aide piped up, 'sir have you given any thought about what the new currency should look like? we could have it made out of tapioca and hemp and put John Wayne on a $15 bill!'

Sunday, April 10, 2011

going on a bender: ghaddafi vs. sheen

now we realize that most of you are probably some kind of will-less alcoholic and druggie...... sniffing cocaine between whatever bursts of 'work' that you do...... not to mention crystal meth, ecstasy, marijuana et al......

but who would you rather party on a 2 day long bender with in vegas (or paris for that matter).... ghaddafi or sheen

pot bender: if you decide not to get drunk and just smoke a little weed.... ghaddafi would
probably have the most interesting stories - he has killed a lot more people
than charlie sheen has

booze bender: both men have lots of women for you to belt out karaoke tunes with -
ghaddafi has his female bodyguards, sheen, various pornstars

snorting coke: this is where sheen is literally going to bore you to tears with his
never-ending dumb stories about hitting women and trashing hotel rooms...
only americans could be losers enough to pay $200 to hear them with 2000
other losers.......... with ghaddafi you might be inclined to argue or
arm-wrestle him, watch out his female bodyguards don't kick you in the
nuts - better to just drink alcohol and talk to the bodyguards

comparing charlie sheen to the leg of a stoo.l

comparing charlie sheen to the leg of a stool - we find that the leg of a stool doesn't make noise and can be left in a corner of a room and will not get up and walk away and make noise -- the leg of a stool can be used as a hammer, as a weapon to threaten or inflict pain, as a pool cue, to stun an animal before killing/flaying/gutting/cooking and eating it

the leg of a stool, if left alone is useful as it provides support for the stool which is useful for sitting on......

charlie sheen is rarely useful.... this is not to say that charlie sheen should become embittered and depressed at his relative uselessness to society... he should not mope and then contemplate suicide with the leg of a stool or become a fanatical jihadist and suicide by killing a score or more of people at the same time....... no.... it is not too late for charlie sheen to pick up his ping-pong bat and engage in ping-pong diplomacy -- which is to say, there must be something charlie sheen could be useful for...... personally, a few episodes of two and a half men isn't good enough.....

the truth is charlie sheen is less useful than the leg of a stool

stool 1, sheen zero

clarification of charlie sheen's brand of stupidity

like the gnat - sheen is hardly even annoying: innocuous..... a fly annoys -- but the gnat is almost beautiful in its insignificant annoyance.... listening to what charlie sheen has to say is like getting the underwear of one of those obese people who are so fat they haven't been able to leave through their bedroom door for over a decade and need a forklift to remove them after their wall has been knocked down -- like getting one of those (REALLY) fat people's underwear (that has not been changed in over 6 weeks) -- and believe me friends, once i did try not changing underwear for this period of time - i kid u not - i know you believe me - and i never showered during this period - only swam in swimming pools: it wasn't pretty - it smelled RANCID).... listening to what charlie sheen has to say, indeed, putting $200 into his silly-putty pockets to listen to what this cock-wald has to say is akin to waking up every morning for a month and rubbing your face with the colossally giant underwear of aforementioned fat person after over 6 weeks of not changing underwear --- as if it were a hot towellete like the ones the chinese lady on the airplane gives you before your shitty meal:

why would you do it??

and another thing

if u ever watch that movie, the breakfast club, you see emilio estevez sheen's character, the wrestler tapes some weak kids buns together, coz he is weak -- that weak kid was charlie sheen -- becoz he is a stupid weak arse........ what has seven dumb days in it and charlie sheen in all of them? answer: a dumb weak charlie sheen week........ charlie sheen is an insignificant gnat that you piss on when you miss the toilet bowl and you curse coz you messed up the situation, not even realizing there was a miniscule, insignificant gnat that got pissed on in the hubbub......... that insignificant pissed on gnat is charlie sheen..... huzzah!

human stupidity

well my last post was the 471st (one of my favorite numbers: 471 and also 1147 ... beautiful numbers, prime numbers if i am not mistaken) published on 4/9/11 ...... 911 is in infamous number now -- also a prime by the looks of it -- along with infamous 7/7 and 3/11 which the media relished in trumpeting like some kind of prime number serial killing spree along with the ever so famous 9/11

however, this is not a time to talk of serial killing but to talk of general human stupidity -- previously we touched on how humans were exquisitely adept at collaborating and co-operating..... truly, the human race is very masterful on this level: just behold the things humans can collaborate on, willing a team effort, as it were, not only in america, a nation famous for its teamwork -- but really anywhere, since the beginning of time....... for tall buildings and engineering and agriculture cannot sprout and flourish without co-operation and social order amongst the societal elements......... clearly order is something innate to the human experience

but how is it the people remain so stupid? the human pursues comfort and then art .... the human enjoys comfort for living and art for his or her own personal entertainment: hence movie stars, hiphop rappers, sigfried and roy with their tigers, even the congenital idiot charlie sheen........

even with real gems left them across space and time, for the centuries and even millenia, by the likes of mozart and shakespeare... geniuses of such a high level as to be reckoned 'vrai' Gods amongst the plebians........ and with the lesser Genius of the Christina Aguileras of this world... still it seems that the people remain mired in stupidity

unable to master matter with his mind, man is left, like a sophisticated cavemen, unable to even penetrate the shell of the coconut to reach the tasty milk within, man is left locked into a simple world of material/sense fascination and the pursuit of moronic intellectual/emotional/sexual pursuits........... hence we have the moron -- the comfortable moron...... unable to master intuition, astral travel, absent healing, clairvoyance... all of his psychic faculties atrophied and unused.... and men left behind, a laughing-stock going to his stand-up comedy shoes and drinking his drinks and talking his talks.......... a happy and proud cavemen who has figured out how to smash the coconut and eat the white meat within.....

Saturday, April 9, 2011

LOWER and lower

well, it seems i also wanted to ramble about how stupid people were: how they seemed to be doing a great job everywhere at collaborating on various projects -- but how stupid their projects (eg., BERN particle accelerator) were (including TV) ........

however, the Benji is loathe to go on with it - hence he will leave you with this exhortation to continue mounting your wives -- as a Lion mounts the tired and out-run Wilderbeast on the African plane.....

.....................

yawn -- starting to feel like impotent old T.S. Elliot writing his dumb poetry........ just read an article about Charlie Sheen and his dumb new york show.......... is Charlie Sheen a dumb bitch? i don't mean that metaphorically, but literally.... does Charlie Sheen have a womb and the rest of the package and is he only a man by way of cross-dressing?

it's time to learn some spanish (of spain).... i shit on = me cago ......... his whore of a mama = su puta madre............. me cago en su puta madre = i shit on his whore of a mama........

yawn .... i was going to write some dumb dribble about a guy who is suspected of being the jewish messiah, over the years, by various jews in Israel who secretly send delegations out to him -- starting from his infancy -- but keep it all hush hush amongst themselves --- it was really going to be a very funny diatribe...... but i just couldn't be bothered -- less and less passion for the old blog.......

my beethoven/mozart plot line was going to be injected with a sexy stock trader called Courtney, but again......... just losing the will to keep the blog alive.... barely a 'ploopsie' left in me........

divorce anyone?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

more nonsense

70s english rock group Uriah Heep's 'jew-lie mourning' can be seen and heard at this address:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz66OrF30I&feature=related

now what i want to do with my blog is recount some experiences in sedona arizona and jerusalem which play in my mind from years ago in different times in my comings and goings.......

a journalist woman on the tv recently was talking about how she was being shot at when was pregnant and i will start my ramblings on that note.....

in the summer of 2006 i rode into Sedona arizona and my car was stolen from me by my fellow transients........ i found myself on public parkland carless and stranded and more or less broke in a new facet of the space time continuum and endless universe of places right here on Earth....... (no need to go anywhere else friends, believe me)......

seeing that my car was stolen -- the first thing to do was blame someone -- i got some water from a couple of americans and then took a broad shot at them from the starboard side of my spanish galleon:

'stupid americans! stole my goddam car! f*cking americans!'

'don't blame me man, i didn't steal your car!' replied the guy who was only helping me by sharing some of his own water with me....

so you see how easy it is to blame an entire race/nation or group for whatever??? that's certainly what a great many germans did to the jews during world war ii (complicitly or otherwise) -- kind of like CNN promoting anglo-saxon bigotry in australia........ but friend, are you seriously going to go to Flanders and walk up and down the only street with gay people wearing a sign around your neck in Flemish saying: 'friend, give me a jolly good rollicking good show downstairs if you know what i mean' -- and your pants down to boot ------------- and then go and blame all of the Europeans or the Flemish or Belgians for being gay rapists? it doesn't make sense!

in the same way, i see my water-dispensing american friend had quartered my galleon and proven his point -- i couldn't just go blaming all of my problems on america..... it was time to change my mind and come up with a new paradigm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iohsN-85ZK0

so the thing to do was report my car stolen to the cops and get on with my (penniless) life.... the first sign of civilization was the compound next door for liberal left wing millionaires -- i found a quarter with occupants and knocked on the door -- three baby-boomer era hippies invited me to seat myself amongst their quartz crystals and skull decorations....... before blurting my sob story i would have to play along with them

'won't you read this for us?' they asked me

they gave me some new-age hippy arse text-prayer-resolution whatever for millionaire left-wing hippies with nothing better to do .... i just figured to play along and not mess up the positive energy in the room

'i am mother Earth,' i read from the text, 'bla bla bla bla bla' the text went on until a mention of 'my' (mother Earth's) 'womb'

at this point, one of the three middle-aged clowns there checks me on me having a 'womb' -- obviously it was just what the text said and what they asked me to read -- that's an amusing and ludicrous situation right there............

so u see, despite saying i had a womb, i never did, unlike the woman on tv who was gestating while being shot at in Israel........

now on to some recollections of my Israeli long-weekend ......... this would mostly only be of interest to the very elderly -- as no-one shot at me.......... although there were a great many machine guns, uzis, helicopters and such as we will soon see......... starting the short journey into jewdom at an international airport in Paris, i found the El-Al (Israeli airline) security people serious about security -- at one point a jewish guy even menaced me with a body-cavity search (read sticking a gloved finger up my arse) -- he even put the plastic glove on .......... the menace never materialized -- and perhaps that's as good a proof of any that the writer is, in contra-distinction to stephen colbert, jimmy fallon and russell crowe, a heterosexual...... apart from this unpleasant reality -- i found the El-Al jews likeable -- they were genuinely curious about me, i could see that, but they would be about most any casual tourist to Israel in those days (april 2002) as a very harsh 'intifada' was in effect at the time.....

there's nothing like sitting on a jet plane full of jews playing Kleshma [sic whatever] music..... obviously not for you if you're a fan of al-Qaeda but otherwise potentially quite amusing -- just the music alone..... some jew sitting next to me had to fit the jewish stereo-type by limiting his conversation to how much i got my ticket for - just to make sure he got a better deal...........

arriving in Jerusalem -- what strikes you is that security is done ad-hoc and on the spot by cells that are connected more like the various combs in honeycomb than by a top-down structure like in Soviet Russia...... so you can be interrogated by one security person -- who will have no relations or dealings with the next party to scrutinize you........

finally you get out of the airport and you are struck by all the pretty and sexy young jewish women sporting army fatigues and machine guns -- it is definitely a pretty hot look and if you are a fan of the jewish ladies (again, not necessarily for you if you're making an al-Qaeda promotional video right now)

now you are free in Jerusalem to come and go as you please -- there's no line diving non-Israeli Arab citizens from the jews so it's time to ride on a bus and wait for some suicide bomber in a trench coat to get on at the next stop....... good times! check out your jewish neighbours on the bus -- where did they all come from? no telling... russia - poland -- eastern europe? morroco ? who knows??? they're from all over the place -- you cannot even blame them all for something anymore than you can blame my water-dispensing american friend for my car getting stolen just because the thieves were his compatriots........ what's for sure is that that girl looking neurotic as hell on the bus behind you -- at least her neurosis has an explanation (see the note about the suicide bomber above)......... so if you're crazy friend, suffering from severe neurosis or schizophrenia or what not -- by all means -- go to Israel --- as the gravedigger in Hamlet said, 'they're all crazy there' -- 'your madness will go unnoticed'....

next stop, Wailing Wall....... the idea is to sound as near as possible to anglo-aussie cricket supporters who don't realize they are actually english and make odd noises while watching long and boring test cricket in the summertime......... strange gurgling odd noises -- reminding you of the retarded croon in your mind of some prehistoric and forgotten-by-time bird in the retarded continent of australia.......... this is all praying mind you -- time to stick a note in the wailing wall -- rub a towel against your head and make aussie test cricket audience noises...... great stuff........... you have to love those sidelocks though......

now talk a walk through the old-city --- somewhere around here must have been where the apostles of Jesus met for the Last Supper, right? all the confused Christian tourists with the information about Jesus (not a jew, not born in Bethlehem, not killed by the jews who stoned people to death) -- this is a good time to note that Nietzsche was wrong about Jesus on a great many factual levels - eg., he bought into the Cleric/post-Jesus era Priesthood doctrine of Jesus actually physically expiring on the Cross (it didn't happen).... but this has become one of the central tenets of Priest manipulated Christian dogma -- it's funny that humans would let themselves be bamboozled with such indifference -- even in today's scientific age -- probably the this truth isn't available or appealing to people uninterested in it.......... what seems more factual and more interesting than Nietzsche's mistaken take on Jesus, was his take on Paul.......

it's unclear what Jerusalem was like in the time of Paul and Jesus.... but certainly the old-city breathes history and is well-worth a visit if you can make it ......... you might sit with an old Palestinian and sip tea with him calmly -- don't buy the Christian right wing American purchase that the Palestinian Arabs are all boogeymen -- remember my stolen car in Sedona -- just coz you're American doesn't mean ur responsible for that car getting stolen because the thieves were American -- you need a reality check buddy! too much talking not enough listening boy!

take a walk around Jerusalem's old city and discovering hidden walk-ways and alley-ways leading to obscure Jewish Yeshiva's with Jews standing guard like Egyptian porters in ancient Egypt bearing small but effective Uzis that can tear you apart in a moment.....

make contact with a Yeshiva and put on your Yamaha -- kick it for a while with your jewish buddies (unless you're from Al-Qaeda although who knows - maybe we'll get a jew or two in an Al-Qaeda video if they can stay relevant and represent more than some irrational fear embodied by the lie told to a generation about a 'boogeyman')........... watch out when you try to get bread with yeast past the hot jewish security girls -- these zealots - maybe coz of something Moses told the jews or something, hundreds of years ago, are definitely anti-yeast in your bread --- jewish women and their food.......... don't let these zealot bitches push you around though -- if you don't want to circumcise your willy in the name of David and want yeast in your bread then let them eat shit! - but just avoid suicide bombing anyone -- it's generally a pretty rude and barbaric thing to do, you know.....

time for a shower -- i found some guesthouse with some nice old jewish lady from nyc -- she had some kind of professional career in her day like a doctor or something -- reminded me of my mother, calling me benny all the time......... from the bathroom i can see the golden dome....... the muslims chanting there make a nice sound from that angle -- but some of the jews i talked to weren't so inclined as to that opinion ......... towelling off i hear a pop -- nothing -- like a suggestion of bubble-gum exploding on a pretty bold american girl's face........... recalling a guy in madrid talking about how insignificant and minuscule something could be -- by ripping the corner off a piece of paper and saying that's how small and insignificant something was -- that's how small that popping sound was -- like a little corner of paper -- but it turned out later it was a suicide bombing.........

if you walk around the old-city of Jerusalem you can find Arabs that follow the news and violence with the passion a European shows for soccer -- the same really, to be fair, can be said of a great many of the jews there.... even granting that the jews there are more educated and urbane and civilized in many respects..........

whole place looks like a violent movie on steroids when they are in lockdown intifada mode...........