let me help u learn to help urself...
Some simple tenets for u to write out all nice and caligraphically and post next to ur bed:
i) u've already done permanent damage to ur brain from masturbating too much
ii) ur an arsehole
iii) ur momma's a whore... She wore a malcolm X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her: too fat
iv) u spent ur life following ur reproductive organ around and cramming donuts down ur gullet... Go for a jog immediately
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