E=MC2

COMING BACK TO IT

we're inclined to say that, while Einstein no doubt was a mystic and a great Soul... e=mc2 sounds like some serious horseshit.... here are our complaints with the theory of horseshit

let energy = horseshit -- as horseshit is a form of energy

first of all, i was going to say that energy is unqualifiable, unquantifiable and therefore undefinable as no definite values can be given to energy in a real sense, for example 20 calories in a coke can isn't energy: it's just horseshit, but okay, let's pretend horseshit is energy (even though it isn't, it's just horseshit) but maybe we can pretend it's energy coz if you rub it in your buddy's face you will get a reaction and that's a sign that it's some kind of energetic energy producing 'energery' thang

the term 'mass' is also horseshit? why? you ask, surely a basketball has a bigger mass than a tennis ball?.... no, i say, that's horseshit.... here's why... all of these values (including light, which we will come to soon) are RELATIVE and SUBJECTIVE to SOME KIND OF SYSTEM OF ORDER such as GRAVITY, and, yes, er um, grudgingly admitted 'WEIGHT' (or mass)........ HOWEVER these values are relative.... let's explain, you have a TON of u.s. dollars.... first you put them into space, they don't WEIGH anything, so weight is irrelevant as it's a function of GRAVITATIONAL FORCE (connected to MASS).... now you tell me that just as sure as a potato farmer from Idaho takes McDonald's seriously as a customer, that your TON of u.s. dollars DEFINITELY has a mass of approximately (guestimating) 3 CUBIC yards, that is your MASS.........

your MASS of dollars isn't 3 cubic yards, however, if we torch them, it's about one basketball full of SMOKE.... so if e=mc2 then e/c2=m

now pre-burning of the 3 cubic yards of CASH, e/c2 = 3y(3) (3 times y to the power of three)

AFTER burning your cash you have diddly squat (m = diddly squat or a bunch of worthless smoke) = e/c2

does that make sense? it doesn't make sense, let's divulge on a tangent

say the ENERGIC value of your money was the BANG FOR YOUR BUCK YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN WITH IT (EG., an atomic bomb, materials to make a bomb at home out of garden fertilizers, etc, a playstation)...... but let's say you brought your money to some communist regime where it was banned and useless and there was not even a black market for it, then the ENERGIC value of your money was equal to diddly squat (see diddly squat above)......

does that make sense?

it doesn't make sense.... let's clarify: e is a definite value, don't let all those pink-wearing homos (homosexuals not turkish sauce) with degrees in astro-physics who haven't produced anything useful after 10 years of tinkering around in BERN (remember, they never gave you LSD, viagra, birth control pill, playstation or even rock'n'roll)

e is mathematically about 299,792,458 metres per second multiplied by itself, so
299,792,458 * 299,792,458 = some bigger numerical value (very big, obviously not infinte, rational)

this is the only 'real' thing about the 'speed of light' -- the numbers, because numbers are REAL.... seconds are not REAL...... a 'second' is something completely based on a human perception...... let's say REAL RAW ELEMENTS LIKE HYDROGEN AND NITROGEN prove that a SECOND is real because they have a definite LIFESPAN which can be measured in SECONDS regardless of human perception, but then i say to you: do you KNOW how long NITROGEN OR HYDROGEN can survive in OTHER GALAXIES where planets have 2 suns and three moons and stronger pressure from black holes? YOU DON'T KNOW.... because this variable nature of MATTER is only RELATIVE... again, NUMBERS ARE REAL: 1+1=2 IS REAL....... Plutonium has a half life of 1 second but only if you have these certain atmospheric/gravitational influences, that is not REAL anymore, that's BULLSHIT

so we are left with HORSESHIT, BULLSHIT AND REAL

let's look again: e=mc2

c is ACTUALLY (not REALLY, but ACTUALLY) a compilation of REAL (299,792,458) numbers of METRES (again not REAL because METRES only have reality where certain conditions about - try measuring them in your afterlife or dreamstate - are they 'real'? metres are not real, they are horseshit), therefore 'c' = 299,792,458 * h (horseshit)

thus: c = 299,792,458h

m = horseshit

e = bullshit

therefore e (bullshit) = horseshit * (299,792,458h)2

thus solving:

square root of e/horseshit = 299,792,458*horseshit

therefore: (square root of bullshit/horseshit)/horseshit = 299,792,458


and there you have something REAL ladies and gentleman: applaud uproariously NOW:

299,792,458 most definitely equals: (square root of bullshit/horseshit)/horseshit


if you don't believe me, just get some bullshit, find its square root, divide it by horseshit and with the result divide THAT by horseshit and you will have:
299,792,458


and now we will call that: benji's theory of ABSOLUTIVITY

people will be scratching their heads over that for centuries......

now today at work when i arrived in the morning, the alarm system had been going off and the lights weren't working (no 'e' squared or otherwise, so in other words, no bullshit)

later i went to leave something on a co-worker's table, i had no idea she was a PINK freak and had PINK COLORED THINGS EVERYWHERE AROUND HER CUBICLE.... i did NOT perceive this AT ALL....... then she pointed it out to me later and i was REALLY SURPRISED I HAD NEVER NOTICED ALL THOSE PINK THINGS BEFORE LIKE CLOCKS, FOLDERS, ETC

it looked to me like the pink had just magically appeared out of nowhere