after the dazzling musical performance, Beethoven sat with the CBS' Early Show hosts to talk shop a little and promote his new album while the orchestra played on outside with a small gathering of the public watching on from behind barricades.... one of the casual commenting commentators from CBS' Early Show offered the following appraisal:
"A lot of casual observers of classical music say that the orchestra's don't even need a conductor as they are perfectly capable of playing on without them."
Beethoven didn't respond, it was a little awkward, maybe he didn't hear the hosts, so breezing through the off-tone moment, the host went on to ask Her Beethoven about his future plans...
"Well, I see here in the future you have a lot of new technologies and movies and stuff, I think I'd like to make a movie if I can," offered Beethoven.
"Really," responded interestedly one of the male comperes billed on his own show as 'America's 5th most important family' (presumably after the show Al Roker was on and the one Kate Couric was on and some other shows like them), "what kind of movie would you like to make?"
"Well," said Beethoven, "in my youth I was always a little interested in some of the hostilities between Spain and England, at first Spain really bossed them around a lot, this was during the time of Elizabeth the first and Francis Bacon and the 'Shakespeare', afterwards, Spain actually sent a massive floating artillery..."
"The Spanish Armada," commented one of the hosts.
"...that's right, and well, i'd like to depict that military campaign, which really was a turning point for England in her important history, an emancipation from the Catholic Church which figured strongly even in my own times some century and scores of years later in the Holy Roman Empire of Germany."
"So you're a German, Her Beethoven," asked the male compere after indicating with his body language that Maggie was 'Her' -- this in itself was confusing as the title 'Herr' (with two t's) in German meant Mister, but obviously the compere was unaware of it and his producer's hadn't told him, so he must have thought the 'Her' referred to Maggie and that Beethoven was Maggie's pet or responsibility in the modern world, now that he was over two centuries away from his own time. This line of thinking was repaired by a gentle elbow from Maggie in his midriff and some explaining over his ear-piece from his production crew.
"Yes," said Beethoven, oblivious to it all, "but these times I'm telling you about, are long before my time, and were just another story from my historic books, the same as the ancient Egyptians are to you."
"So what kind of movie would you have in mind?" asked another female host who was fascinated by all the celebrities she interviewed.
"Well it would have to be pretty violent and punctuated with violent, bombastic and primarily STRONG phrases, as is my music, I'd like for there to be a lot of action scenes, old Spanish Galleons bumping up againt English light-frigates and corvettes and soldiers boarding the enemies ships for hand to hand combat, and, well I envision a lot of blood, I can a knife plunging into one English guy's neck and some English people burning a heap of dead Spanish bodies and commenting on how the Spaniards corpses were typically noted as the stinkiest to burn in those times, maybe becoz of a high-meat-intake diet... and well I'd like some snappy dialog scenes, Elizabeth in her Court with Francis Bacon there and Drake the navy guy, and Leicester and the whole lot of them and Elizabeth being all like, 'for fuck's sake, if we don't kill those nasty cock-sucking son's of bitches then we're all going to be rotting in a jail in Cadiz and your heads will be on spikes on the outskirts of Madrid.... shit like that," said Beethoven who was obviously very excited by it all.
"Fascinating," said the male compere who had made the snaffoo about Her (Maggie's) Beethoven (as opposed to Herr Bethoven)... "now let's cross over to Ferdinand in the Whoop-there-it-is Weather Centre."
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