in northern virginia, the fairfax family prepared for their xmas holidays... we will not make allusions as to which of the world's great religions belonged varying members of the fairfax family, or whether they had anglo-cized their name or names from some other less aglo-ethnic sounding names.... the reality was as follows:
'Margie, you pick up the fertilizer from gardens and pots, i'll soak it petrol when you get home and in the meantime i'll work on the eggnog,' said dad.
'Dad, there's a couple of gay kids at school me and my friends have to beat up, we're just gonna bloody his nose a bit, maybe break it, can i use your knucklebusters?' asked junior fairfax.
'Sure, son, if they're in the school's thespian society then give them a punch in the gut from papa fairfax!' said the father and gave his son a good-natured rub on head with his knuckles.
'Dad, I need more birth control pills before the stores close for the christmas holidays, some of the guys on the varsity team said they might date-rape me if i'm lucky,' said daughter fairfax.
'Girl that's one for your mother, i don't want to know about it.'
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