Beethoven continued talks with his producers...
"Look Mr. Beethoven, it's good to have these big names to sell your movies but alot of these people are silly clowns... I want to show you a completely different type of actor, here in Russia, during the height of the cold war, we trained some of our spies that were to be sent to America to infiltrate and gain secrets, most notably to get the information on how to build a nuclear bomb which we got from Americans in New Mexico... we're gonna take you to one facility outside Moscow we used to call 'Texas Town.'" Said one of the Russian producers.
"Why did you call it Texas Town?" asked Beethoven.
"Becoz everyone and everything there was a postcard copy of a Texas Town, down to the most minute detail; come."
And with that, the mis-en-scene cut to some happy feelgood music like in the movie where Ben Stiller and Wilson ride long-handle-barred motorbikes to visit Snoop Dogg and kiss the hand on his wand and ask for a favor; and Beethoven and the producers went a-riding to Texas Town.
Texas Town was a real revelation to Beethoven, for here in the heart of Russia was a town that in all respects resembled a town in Texas, where everyone spoke Texan English, where you could buy Malt from a drugstore and go square-dancing; in fact, some square-dancers waved at Beethoven and his producers and called out happily: 'Don't be a square, daddy-o!'.
"So you see Mr. Beethoven, we can recommend you include a number of our actors from Texas Town here, for you see, if they are good enough actors to infiltrate American society and steal the ultimate secret: how to make a nuclear bomb, you must agree, they are even greater actors than the puppet broadway performer-cum-terrorist fighter in Team America, World Police, wouldn't you agree?" asked one of the producers.
"I guess so," said Beethoven.
"So we recommend these performers do the heavy lifting and then have some bratty flakes with cool sounding names and which come from fashionable countries like England and Australia and America to do the sexy work; what do you think?"
"It sounds interesting," said Beethoven.
* * *
Parker and Stone from South Park looked into their family photos albums and reminisced (in French): "remember when we shat on eachother's chests and washed it off in the river?" asked Parker to Stone.
"Yes," said Stone, "I'm so glad we got that shit of our chests. Look here we are on that plane full of chinese American citizens that couldn't speak any English, shitting in each other's mouths!"
"The shit that came out of your mouth that day! My lord!" chided Parker good-naturedly.
No comments:
Post a Comment