at the last petrol station before leaving Arizona for California, Jacob stood holding the Colbert 2-dimensional cardboard cutout next to the bowser as his petrol tank filled with gasoline... he looked so great under the suns deepening afternoon rays, he moved a leaf that had gotten into his hair.... suddenly some tough guys approached,
'well, looky here... what do we gots ourselves here, looks like some kind of queer,' said one of the tough guys and the three trianguled around Jacob...
'you some kind of corn-pokin' queer,' said another of the three tough guys, a third merely planted his feet apart some and raised a hand to the straw in his mouth that he chewed on a little...
'i am not an elephant,' said Jacob, unperturbed, he was not afraid, he was armed and had a black belt in karate and was perfectly calm and ready to deal with these people...
'did you hear that boys?' said one of the three bullies, 'he's not an elephant... looks to me like you're some kind of queer... who's your boyfriend there?'
'that's Stephen,' answered Jacob, 'Stephen Colbert...'
'looks like some fancy high-falutin' big-city type,' observed the 2nd bully...
a fight broke out and Jacob started doing all kind of fancy karate kicks, at one point he called out to the Colbert cutout to hold one of the bullies in the full-nelson hold while he beat him up a little... the Colbert cutout was wet around the crotch area, like it had pee-d itself....
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