After the sacrifical ceremony, Laura 'Bingle' Ingram, Fox News stalwart who never ever kow-towed to anyone and who dutifully paid all of her taxes, who never took drugs or broke and enter to steal to support a crack cocaine habit, graciously thanked her hosts for the funny show... the village chieftain, who, like the rest of the village, stood at approx. 1 metre in height, so one yard and approx. 5 inches..... gave her a ceremonial hula hoop and stood on a pedestal next to her at a podium -- while standing on the pedestal the two appeared to be of similar height...
"Well," said 'Bingle' Ingram, "I am so delited, this is soooo much fun! What have you put in that coconut milk??" She said, and laughed.... "I cannot believe you have gone to all this effort for me, and the show was so AUTHENTIC, fancy pretending to sacrificially kill someone for little old me!?" and so saying, she flashed her pearly whites some more and took another sip from her Hawaii-an looking coconut cup.
"Errr... yes, ahem," mumbled the village chieftain, "authentic, pretend, he he he he..." and so saying he quickly motioned a surrepticious slit across the throat with his finger out of 'Bingle'-Ingram's eye-shot to some workers who were about to cut open the sacrificial slain body which Ingram believed was not literally just slayed before her eyes. Seeing the village chieftain's slitting motion, the workers stopped on the verge of quartering the dead body and letting the blood flow for the wild birds to devour.
"Errr..... yes, just a pretend authentic show to please you..." and having said this, he became immensely starstruck and immediately fell to grovelling before Ingram as did the rest of the village.....
"Ooomi koomi ba hoomi!!!" the entire village chanted hypnotically and repetitively in unison. This, in their own language basically meant: "oh great blonde with a mind of her own that refuses to kow-tow to any person."
Bingle loved it but was anxious to return home after a great fun-themed trip --- what a hoot and a holler, she thought to herself, had O'Reilly set this up for her?
On returning to the helicopter that would take her to a private jet to return to North America, Ingram and the village chieftain walked and talked, and as they lingered talking, as the helicopter rotor slowly churned into motion, whipping the two's hair as the sun set at that exact point every evening that filmmakers think of as the very best time to film exteriors. Some romantic magic must have been in the air as the two, despite differing some two and a half feet in height smiled warmly at eachother and prolonged their conversation so long that finally the village chieftain agreed to mount the helicopter and ride off with Ingram.
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